Sometimes Love Isn't Enough
by Roswell Dream Girl
Summary: Brooke comes back from CA to find her whole world upside down. Leyton is expecting a baby & Naley is back together again. Will she be able to overcome the obstacles she faces or will she give up with the belief that sometimes love isn't enough? NH LP BL!
1. Collide

**Chapter 1: Collide**

First Day of School Senior Year:

_Okay. This shouldn't be to bad seeing her again, talking to her. It will be just like old times. Yea, old times between old friends, I can do this. I mean the chances of me running into her are slim. I barely saw her last year, well except in English class, and history, and lunch…what am I saying? Of course I'm going to run into her. If not in one of my classes, definitely at lunch. So, yes, the chances of me running into her are very high. I just hope this day goes by fast so I can go back to the safety of my room and not have to deal with the mess I've made of my life._

_**3 months earlier **_

_Lucas' POV_

"So I guess it's just you and me." I can't believe she just left. Now I know what it feels like to have your heart break into pieces. I don't know where to go from here or what I'm supposed to be feeling. Do I let her go or do I fight for her? Does she even want me to fight for her?

_I look at the person to my left, the best friend of the girl I'm in love with, and it amazes me how stupid and careless we were last year. But it isn't until I look into her eyes that I remember… _

"_Peyton? Where's Jake?"_

"_Oh god, Luke…he left! Why do they always leave me? Am I such a horrible person?" _

_Without knowing it her arms somehow found themselves wrapped tightly around me and I knew it was wrong but it felt good. It felt good to have some kind of connection with someone even if it wasn't real. Brooke was gone, Haley was in New York, and Nathan wanted nothing to do with me…Peyton was all I had left. _

"_Sshh...it's okay. Tell me what happened."_

Between sobs Peyton tried her best to tell Lucas the whole story behind the Nikki and Jenny situation but all she managed to get out was Nikki had Jenny and Jake was gone. Those were the only things that really mattered, for Lucas knew how much both of them had meant to her and how losing them was like losing a part of yourself. He knew exactly what she was feeling because he was too. And suddenly neither of them were as alone as they originally thought. And sadly that's where it all began…

_-------------------_

Shaking himself back to reality, Lucas decided it was time to face the music. As he walked though the halls of Tree Hill High trying to ignore the looks, he understood in that moment that nothing was ever going to be the same again. Not for him, not for Peyton and especially not for Brooke. He said a prayer to anyone that was listening, "Please just let me get through this day."

But if Lucas was being honest with himself, today was going to destroy him because it was going to be the first day in almost three months that he would see her. Brooke Davis, the love of his life…so far.

-------------------

_Could things get any weirder? Since I've been back people have been looking at me like I've grown a third head or something. It's like they know something that I don't. And to make matters worse Peyton, my so-called best friend ditched me at the airport yesterday and hasn't returned my phone calls since. And you don't even want to get me started on the apartment my parents, as they like to call themselves, rented for me…I wasn't aware that it was legal to rent rundown, no hot water, badly in need of a decorator apartments. _

_I guess I should be thankful I'm even here, it took a lot of convincing on my part for my parents to have agreed to let me live here and on my own. Their first reaction was of course "no" but lots of begging and whining convinced them otherwise. They were dead set on me either living with them in California or with Karen but once I explain that there wasn't any room left at the Roe's house since Lucas moved back home they seemed to realize that they had no alternative but to let me stay in an apartment. _

_The truth was that I wasn't ready to see Lucas, let alone live with him. Our last goodbye wasn't exactly on good terms and I wasn't sure where I stood with him. Things were always so complicated when it came to him and me. But hopefully this time we could do things right…that is if I could ever find him. _

_I would tell him that I made a mistake and that I should never have left but I was scared. Everything I wanted to hear he had just said and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to stay but at the same time I needed to go, I needed to figure things out and I couldn't do that in Tree Hill. If anything the time spent apart made me realized how much I wanted to be with him, how much I needed and loved him. Fate was on our side this time around. It had to be, I wanted it to be._

Brooke was so deep in thought that she didn't notice the tall, muscular body moving towards her, or the fact that they were about to collide.


	2. Empty

**Sometimes Love Isn't Enough**

Everything that has happened in the show has happened in this fic. Brooke went to California for the summer and Lucas stayed behind in Tree Hill. Haley came back but instead of going to Nathan's she goes to the beach were she finds Lucas and Peyton. The three of them become inseparable in more ways than one but when school starts back up in the fall will their secrets be revealed or kept forever.

**AN:** When in italics it's the characters thoughts! Enjoy!

**AN # 2:** basically every one is in this fic. Some more than others but all play a part to this story. There will be all couples…and I'm not promising a happy ever after for any couple so you're warned. :D Thanks to everyone who reviewed it means a lot!

**Chapter 2: Empty**

Haley's POV

"Nathan we need to talk." _I made a mistake. Why couldn't he see that? I have spent the entire summer trying to make up for my past mistakes and he still acts like I don't exist._

"Haley not now. It's the first day of school, can't it wait?"

"When are you going to stop treating me like an enemy and start treating me like a wife. This has to stop, Nathan. We're either married or we're not but I'm sick of playing this game. I'm sick of hunting but mostly I'm sick of walking around your feelings and pretending like I don't have any."

Something inside of Nathan snapped. "Feelings! Okay, let's talk about feelings! When you left Haley, I wanted to die. I almost did, remember?"

_This conversation wasn't going to way she planned and in fact nothing since she been back had gone her way._ "Nathan, please…I want to fix this. I want to fix us."

_There she goes again thinking that a simple conversation was going to magically fix everything that had gone on between us._ "You can't fix this Haley!"

"Why not, Nathan? You always used to say you could forgive me for anything."

_Couldn't he see that I was trying? Trying to make up for leaving. I know he was hurting but so was I. Him constantly yelling at me wasn't going to solve anything. His was going to have to say more than three words to me if this marriage was ever going to work. _

"Some things can't be forgiven."

"I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say. What can I do to make you believe me when I say that I love you or that I wished I'd never left? Do you want me to beg for your forgiveness…is that what you want?" Haley was oblivious to the crowd that started to gather around her and Nathan.

"Haley stop this! This isn't going to work."

"Then what is huh? Because I'm at my wit's end. I've already given up my dream of becoming a musician. What else do you want?"

A look of regret crosses his face and for a second Haley thinks she's finally reached him but in an instant it was gone and sadly was their marriage.

"I can't trust you Haley. I don't know if I'll ever be able to again. A marriage can't work without trust."

And without another word Nathan turned around and walked away. Trying hard to ignore all the whispers and stares but not succeeded.

Yet somehow missing the only whisper that really mattered "He made me go…."

Empty! Who would have thought that a five-letter word could mean so much? Yet somehow it explained exactly how Haley James was feeling. Everything that truly mattered was gone, her music and mostly importantly her husband. She given up one in hopes of saving the other but now it seemed both were beyond her reach.

She laid the blame at her feet. If she could go back she wouldn't have listened, she would have fought, but mostly she would have believed that maybe, just maybe love was enough.

_----------------_

_Nathan's POV:_

_I shouldn't have yelled but when it comes to my wife, my emotions are fragile and my anger is strong. Being married to Haley, before all the drama that is presently my life, was the closest to heaven that I had ever been and now the closest to hell that I ever want to go. It's hard sometimes but I still remember all the happy moments we had, eating breakfast in bed, making love in the shower, playing in the rain, those moments were perfection. I guess that's why it's so hard for me to understand how she could just leave all that, leave me, for music. I can honestly say that I believed more than anything, we would be together forever. As long as I had her by my side I was unstoppable. But things change, people change; I'm finding myself needing her less and less and it feels good. I was in a bad place a few months ago I could barely see the light but now that light is getting clearer and clearer and for the first time in a long time I'm reasonably happy. I've worked hard for this newfound happiness and I don't need Haley screwing it up. I've tried avoiding her all summer but there are only so many places to hide in Tree Hill. None of which she isn't aware of. Maybe it was time to face her and my joke of a marriage. Maybe then she would go on with her life and let me do the same._

It was all a front. It was easier to say he was over her then to say he stilled cared. He was running and not today or tomorrow but one day he was going to eventually hit a dead end and only then would he face up to his true emotions concerning his wife.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry I didn't see…Lucas! Gosh I've missed you so much" without thinking about the consequences Brooke envelop Lucas in a bear hug.

_It's been so long. Too long since I've held her. Touched her. Was this even allowed, after what I did? I didn't know and I wasn't sure I really cared. How could I, when I was holding the girl of my dreams? After three months of wishing for this and hoping for it, here I was and all I could think about was, could this be the last time? The last time I hold her, touch her, the last time I feel at home in someone's arms. Before I know it, tears welled up in my eyes and my throat tightened and I was having difficulty finding my voice. How could I tell her? How could I break her heart when I once promised her I never would again? She was going to find out, of that I was certain but how long did I have?_

"God, Brooke...I've missed you so much."

"Me too, Broody. Me too."

_Why did that have to be the exact moment Peyton decided to walk through the school doors? All I wanted was a moment with her, a moment I could cherish but it seemed faith had a different plan._

_Is he telling her? Do I even want him to? Maybe coming to school wasn't such a good idea. The stares and whispers I can handle but Brooke I can't. She was going to hate me and I honestly can't blame her. In fact it seemed the whole school hated me. What happened that night was bad but it's what followed that's gonna kill her. It would be a miracle if she didn't find out by the end of the day. _

Yet for some reason Peyton found herself wishing just for that. A miracle that would never come.

"P. Sawyer, you are in major trouble. Leaving me, Brooke Davis, your best friend, hanging at the airport for some stupid doctor's appointment. You could soooo do better than that."

"Brooke about that…"

"I'll forgive you this once, if you tell me all the dirty details."

"Yeah, I…"

Before she could finish Peyton found herself in Brooke's arms. The two girls hugged, one not knowing that everything in her world was about to change and the other hoping and praying that her best friend could find it her heart to forgive her just once more.

"It feels so good to be back. Except for the stares I've been getting all morning that is. I'm so happy my parents agreed to let me stay." _I'm finally home!_

"Brooke, I really have to get to class."

"P., but I just got…"

"I promise we'll talk after school." Peyton looked to Lucas using her eyes to communicate 'not yet' and then continued on her way to class.

"What's up with her? She's hiding something I can feel it. Did something happen this summer I should know about?" she looks to Lucas.

_Here was his chance. Tell her, his mind screamed but he couldn't do it. He couldn't bring himself to cause her any pain._ "No-n-noooo, nothing happened."

"Did Jake come back?" _Was that why she was acting so weird? Please tell me he didn't leave again._

"We don't talk much but I'm almost positive she hasn't heard from him since he left."

"What? How could he do that? I'll kick his a…"

"Let's not talk about Peyton. Tell me about your summer. How's your new house?" _That's good Lucas; get her mind off things you're not ready to face_.

"The house, well it's big and beautiful but its not home. Home is here, in Tree Hill…with you." She actually said it. She wasn't sure she had it in her but she figured it was her turn to tell him how she felt. She just hoped he still felt the same way.

"I don't…"

"Sshh…I wanna be you, Lucas. When you said all those things to me, I'm not proud of it but all I could see was you and Peyton making out on her bed. I thought I was over it, I thought we were passed that but I was so afraid. Afraid to open my heart to you again but I'm not anymore."

"I don't want Peyton. Maybe I did at some point but not anymore."

"I see that now but I didn't then. I wish I had seen it before I left because maybe then we wouldn't have had to spend the summer apart. I did a lot of thinking this summer and I realized that I want everything you want and I want it with you. I love you, Lucas. I know it may seem too soon but…"

Before she could finish Brooke was dragged, lovingly into the eraser room and placed in very tight quarters with Lucas.

"God, Brooke you don't know how long I've been waiting to hear that. I love you too, so much."

Somehow, in the dark, their lips met perfectly in a kiss that spoke volumes. It spoke of friendship, regret, and sorrow but mostly it spoke of love.


	3. Life Isn't Fair

**A/N: Sorry about the delay guys my internet has not been working for the last week and half hence the reason why I haven't update but the good news is that I'm back for a super long update! YAY!**

**This chapter is rated 'R'**

**Remember** **italicsmeans itsthe characters thoughts :) **

**Chapter 3: Life Isn't Fair**

After her dreadful conversation with Nathan, Haley found herself at Peyton's; a place that over the summer had become a second home to her. Somewhere she could unwind, rest, and just be herself. The girl she was before the music, before everything got complicated, and before Nathan Scott ever entered her life. Just simple Haley James. Life was so easier then. Now it all seemed too much for her to bear alone. Yes, she had Lucas and Peyton but they were going though their own problems and they were about to need her more than ever. They didn't need her complaining about her non-existing marriage.

_Maybe Nathan was right. They needed a break, she needed a break. _

Not bothering to knock, Haley used her key and let herself in. She headed for the stairs when she heard sobs coming from the living room. To her surprise she found Peyton lying on the couch crying her eyes out, and from the looks of her, not for the first time that day. Her heart broke for friend.

_Life just wasn't fair sometimes. She had been through so much already and still trouble always seemed to find her. She had given her heart to another for the first time since her Mom died and it was handed back to her just a few weeks later. In her hour of need she had turned to Lucas and in the process broke her heart and possibly ruined a lifelong friendship. And she had been paying for it ever since. Peyton never seemed to get a break. It was always one thing after another and each time she came closer and closer to the edge. She was not sure what that edge was or when it would be reached but she was positive it wouldn't end happy for her friend. _

"Peyton, honey, its gonna be okay." Haley lifted Peyton's head off the couch and tenderly laid in her lap. She gently stoked her hair, as a mother would do, trying to offer her some sort of comfort.

"How did things get so screwed up? She's never going to forgive me Haley. Never. I lost my friend because I'm so stupid."

What could she say to make it better? The damage had already been done. Nothing she did or said could fix that. The only thing left to do was confess and hope for the best.

"Peyton, you have to believe that she will forgive you. She loves you and she loves Lucas…she'll find it in her heart. I know she will." Or at least I hope so.

"Would you?"

"Would I what?"

"Would you forgive me?" She didn't know, she wanted to believe that she would find it in her heart to but she honestly didn't know if she could. It was hard a question to answer and the truth wasn't what she wanted to hear so she lied instead. "Yes I would. If Brooke loves both of you like I think she does, then she can forgive you two for anything."

"Oh God, Haley...I can't lose her." The thought of never having Brooke around was too hard to bear. She was her best friend. They couldn't have been closer if they were sisters.

"When are you going to tell her?" That's if she doesn't already know. Apparently the whole school knew.

_-----Haley was in the restroom drying her eyes trying to compose herself after her conversation with Nathan when two sophomores walked in gossiping as usual. She never really paid much attention but when it concerned her friends she was all ears. _

_She recognized the voices almost instantly; it was none other than Rachel Moore and her posse Becca Jones. She tutored the two of them last year and never seemed to like them, now she knows why. "Can you believe it? Peyton and Lucas? Wait until Brooke finds out. Man, I would hate to be Peyton."_

_What did Rachel know about anything that didn't have to do with makeup and boys? The girl was a first class airhead. _

"_Well, guess who I saw coming out of the eraser room during first period?" _

"_Who?"_

"_None other than Brooke and Lucas. I can't be sure what they were doing in there but it is Brooke Davis and she was in the eraser room." _

_Who in the hell did these girls think they were? Brooke was different now. Haley decided it was time to let her present known. She burst out of the stall surprising both girls and before either could respond she went on to tell the two nitwits exactly what she thought. "Rachel and Becca, listen real well because I'm gonna say this once; you know nothing about Brooke and Lucas's relationship so I suggest you stay the hell out of it. Oh, and the next time I hear you talking about my friends, I won't be responsible for my actions. Am I clear?"_

_Both girls nodded and hurried out of the restroom…_

"I haven't even thought about it. I wish I didn't have to. I wish I wasn't…"

"Peyton, wishing for that isn't going to help anything. You have to tell her. Maybe you and Luke should do it together."

"Are you crazy? So she can kill us both? No thank you!"

Haley knew it wasn't a time for jokes but before she could stop herself, she giggled.

"HALEY! Now is not the time to be laughing. This is serious." One look at Haley's face and Peyton broke out into giggles. _God, it felt good to laugh again! I can't remember the last time I smiled or laughed; it must have been before Jake left, almost four months ago. Way to long without a smile or ever reaching your face._

"That's the best time to smile." She didn't know how long it would take but Haley knew in her heart that everything was going to work out for her friends. She would make sure of it. They were her family, the only one she had in Tree Hill and she would do anything to protect them.

"Sawyer, I say we ditch afternoon classes and head to the beach. A day in the sun is just what the doctor ordered."

_It could be fun and it would definitely take her mind off things she rather would not like to think about_. "Okay James, you're on. But I have to do something first."

Peyton headed toward the phone and dialed a number that had become close to her heart once again. "Hey Lucas, this is Peyton. I know you're in class right now. Sorry to bother you but I was hoping maybe we could tell Brooke together? I know we decided that you would tell her but…I just…just…call me on my cell when you get this. Bye." _We should tell her together, he wasn't the only one to blame and this situation was just as much my fault as it was his._ "Now that's out of the way we can go."

The girls headed out to the beach not knowing they were about to run into the one person Peyton was trying to avoid.

_So much for being the new and improved self_, thought Brooke as she was driving out of the school parking lot. Skipping school wasn't exactly student body president material but she had never been one to follow the rules.

_Oh well, I guess some things never change…I mean how much could I miss? It was the first day of school and the last day of summer. It should be spent at the beach having some quality time with your best girl pals. Which would have been great if I could ever get a hold of Peyton and Haley. Where were they? Peyton was acting weird this morning was she avoiding me? Oh come on Brooke she was just in a hurry to get to class. Right...class. I mean, so what if she hadn't seen me all summer or talked to me for half of it, school was important. But if it was so freaking important, why in hell wasn't she there or Haley for that matter? Whatever, maybe they decided to skip school together…but then why didn't they invite her? Oh, shut up Brooke. You're worrying yourself about nothing. Haley skipping school? Please, has the world come to an end? There was a reasonable explanation…maybe Lucas knows. I'll call him. _

_Crap no answer. Why do people have cell phones if they're not going to use them? _

_------------------------------_

_Shit! Lucas grabs for his phone as it rings for the second time that day. Why didn't he turn it off the first time? Brooke? Why is she calling me? She was in class, wasn't she?_

"Why Lucas, cell phone again huh?" said Mr. Eames the history teacher.

"Umm...yeah. Sorry about that."

"Well, who was it? Anyone important?"_ It really irritated him that students continued to leave on their cells phone while in class. Was it so hard to push the off button?_

"Oh, no. No one important."

"Well then maybe you could turn it off."

"Oh yeah, sure!" Lucas reached to turn it off but he was too late. Brooke was calling again. "Um, sorry. Do you think I could answer it? It's my Mom. She wouldn't be calling unless it was an emergency."_ Please say yes! Please say yes!_

"Answer it, but do it outside. You've already interrupted the class enough."

"Thank you, Mr. Eames."_ Sucker…did I really just say that? God, I've been hanging around Haley too much._

"Brooke! What's wrong?"

"Wrong? Nothing's wrong. I called because I wanted to know if you know where Peyton and Haley are. I can't seem to find them."

"No, sorry. I don't know…Peyton called me a while before you did, while in class I might add but I didn't pick up."

"Oh, Broody, I'm sorry about that but I wouldn't have called if it wasn't important."

"Brooke is that the radio I hear? Why aren't you in class?"

"Oh yeah...about that. I decided I'd rather be at the beach. I wanted Peyton and Haley to come so we could have some girl bonding time but I guess they're busy together."

Lucas could hear the sarcasm in her voice. _I guess Peyton was trying to avoid her until he got up the nerve to tell her._ "Brooke, I'm sure it's not that. They're probably in class and unlike me, remembered to turn off their phones."

"Yeah, maybe." But for some reason she didn't buy it. "You wanna come with me? It could be fun if you catch my drift." What better way to spend her afternoon then with her handsome, adorable and very horny boyfriend?

_Oh, he caught her drift it alright, and as tempting as it was, he knew what was going to happen if they ended up at the beach together. Because it almost happen in the eraser room this morning. Thank God for Nathan interrupting them. _

**-------- Earlier that day ------- Rated 'R' do not read pass this point unless over 18! J**

In between kisses, Brooke tried her best to tell Lucas what was in her heart but it seemed her body had other ideas, ideas that didn't involve talking. "Lucas…oh...God..."

"I know…I've missed you too."

"We..have to stop...class is about to start."

His lips and tongue were attacking hers and for the first time in Brooke's life, she felt loved. It didn't matter that class was about to start or that they could get caught at any moment. All that matter was being in her Broody's arms…

"Oh God, Broody. You feel so good. I could kiss you forever."_ It so felt so right to be in his arms again. It was like I belonged there._

Her hands found themselves unbuttoning his shirt, desperately wanting to feel his skin and affect him the way he was affecting her. She managed to get the buttons undone and within seconds her hands were all over him. She lightly caressed his chest and before long her lips replaced her hands.

_Things were moving to fast. I still haven't told her. "_Brooke...we have to stop. I have to tell you something." But he didn't want to stop. He wanted to make love to this woman more than anything.

"Hmm...tell me later, okay?" _Whatever it was could wait._

Breathless, Lucas managed "Brooke, about this summer…" Before he had a change to finish, Brooke started licking and kissing his one special spot, as she liked to call it and his caution without the window. He remembered thinking this isn't wrong, he loved her and she loved him. He didn't dare think about whether or not she would after he told her.

Lucas returning the favor, gently and lovingly began kissing her ears just the way he knew would drive her crazy but for some reason unknown to him, Brooke pulled away.

Looking Lucas in the eyes, she told him what she had been dying to say, "Lucas, I want you to know that I didn't…I didn't hook up with anyone this summer. I mean, I know we weren't together or anything but in my heart we were."

He was speechless. What could he say "that's great but unfortunately I did"? This was such a bad idea. "Brooke, I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know."

He didn't deserve her.She was an angel and he was the devil "I think it's time we got to class."

"No way, Broody. We're just getting started."

Brooke, never being one to listen to reason, reached down and unbuckled his pants and very slowly reached inside. Just touching him was making her hot. Her body was on fire, and by the feel of things, so was his.

"Oh God..." Her small, cold fingers were on him, slowly pleasuring him. He wasn't sure how much more he could take. Knowing it was wrong he reached up and tenderly removed her shirt leaving her in her black lacey bra and jeans, and him shirtless with his pants around his knees.

"You are so beautiful." _She was perfect in everyway, inside and out._

Brooke attempted get on her knees but Lucas stopped her. "No Brooke, you don't have too." She never wanted to do that before when they were together. He always wondered why but never had the courage to ask.

"But I want to Lucas." She had only done it once and afterwards swore to never again and up until now she hadn't wanted to but this was Lucas. She wanted to please him.

But he couldn't let her, not like this and not in an eraser room. "Maybe another time, okay?" Things had gotten a little out of control.

Didn't he want her? "Don't you want me?" She had never been self-conscious before, but she had never been in love before either.

"Oh, God yes. But we're in an eraser room. I want it to be special for you."

_He really loves me._ "I love you Lucas Scott."

He managed to say "I love you too Brooke." while she was busy planting kisses all over him. But there was still one small problem actually it was a pretty big. With Lucas still in Brooke's hand she lovely gave him a final squeeze and that was all it took. "Brooke..."

After Lucas came back from his high and his heart beat returned to normal he finally looked Brooke in the eyes and an enormous amount of guilt overtook him. So much in fact, that he almost doubled over from the intensity of it. What had he done?

"Brooke, we really need to talk about…." They were both so caught up in one another that they didn't hear the door open or notice the light that now filled the room.

"Get a room you too, before the whole school sees you," said Nathan with a hint of jealousy in his voice. But what could he possibly be jealous of? Haley and him were over. That's what he wanted, right?

"Shit Nathan, you scared me." Tutor husband, he looked older, different somehow.

Laughing, "Oh, I bet I did." _How did his older brother get himself into these situations each and every time? Didn't he ever learn?_ "Come on you two, the bell just rang. Ya'll can probably still make it to class on time."

"Thanks Nathan…but how did you know we were in here." Definitely the wrong question to ask but Brooke was never one to beat around the bush.

"Oh, that's easy. I heard Broody here scream your name; decided to wait a few minutes before I came in." Not being able to control it any longer Nathan busted out laughing.

Present---------

"I would love too, Brooke, really I would. But I'm in class and Mr. Eames is already pissed about the phone call." _That was partially the truth._

"Oh, Broody come on, please? I really don't want to go by myself."

"I…I'm sorry I can't." With that, Lucas hung up.

_He hung up on me without saying goodbye. What's his problem? Whatever, I'll deal with him later. Right now the beach is calling my name._

Brooke pulled into the parking lot of her favorite spot at the beach, not noticing the car off to the left hidden by some tree branches.

_Great no one else was here, perfect for skinny-dipping. Okay, so I really wasn't going to get in the water but it would be nice to work on my tan without the restraint of my swimsuit. I didn't get a chance to sunbathe while in California. It wasn't that I didn't have plenty of opportunities. In fact, I had ton, but my heart wasn't in it. Sunbathing was something that Peyton and I always did together. It just didn't feel right doing it without her. Well, that and I spent half of my time shopping. Oh crap. I forgot the radio._

Walking back to the car is when she noticed the car and whom it belonged to.

_Peyton was here? Why would she come without me?_


	4. The Worst, Best Day Ever

Hi, guys…I know I suck its been almost two months since I last updated and honestly I don't have an excuse other then I had writer's block. Soooooo I'm very, very, very sorry! forgive me, please?

Now that we've go that out of the way on with the next chapter! Enjoy:)

Remember when in_ italics_ it's the character's thoughts

**Chapter 4: The Worst, Best Day Ever**

_P. Sawyer has some serious explaining to do. She could have called to see if I wanted to go, I mean I'm only her best friend, who she hasn't seen all summer. There would be some definite ass kissing to make up for this._

"Peyton how could you come without…"

Both girls turned around ready to pounce on anyone who dare interrupt their girl time.

_Haley was here. She invited Tutor Wife and not me? What was going on? First Lucas hangs up on me and now my best friend goes to the beach without me!_

Before Brooke could stop herself and get her emotions under control she blurted out, "What the hell is going on?" _I didn't mean to sound harsh but my feelings were hurt._

"Brooke, hey." _So maybe coming to beach wasn't quite what the doctor ordered._

"Don't hey me P. Sawyer. What's going on? First you blow me off at the airport and then this morning and now this. Are you mad at me or something?"

"Mad at you? What? No! Look I'm sorry about the airport, I already you that I had somewhere to be and I wasn't blowing you off this morning I just didn't want to be late to class on the first day." _Which was true, well partially true, ok ok it wasn't true but what else was I'll going to say? _

"So you don't want to be late but its okay to skip instead?"

"Brooke, no! I just needed to some time to relax and I couldn't find you so I invited Haley instead."

For the first time since Brooke arrived, Peyton looked towards Haley begging with her eyes to help.

"That's right Brooke we looked for you but we couldn't find you any where."_ A little white lie wasn't bad...was it?_

"Why didn't you try me on my cell, then?" _Something wasn't right here they were lying._

"Ummm…well I forgot mine at home this morning." _Please just drop it. You have bigger things to worry about other then I didn't invite you to the beach. I have bigger things to worry about, like how I'm going to tell you my secret. _

"Peyton! Stop lying to me. You purposely didn't invite me and I want to know why?" _Does she think I'm stupid or something? Her damn phone is sitting right next to her._

"Brooke I'm not lying. Why would I lie to you?"

"God, Peyton you know I really thought that after the whole Lucas thing we were pass lying to one another. But I guess I was wrong. When you want to be honest with me you know where to find me." Satisfied that she had gotten her point across she turned around and walked away.

Peyton in a dreadful attempt tried to call her back but Brooke just kept walking away.

"Brooke! Look I'm sorry ok. Please come back. Brooke!" _Just great. She's only been back for two days and I've already pissed her off. Way to go Peyton! _

"Damn it. This day just keeps getting worst and worst", barked Peyton to anyone who was listening.

"Come on let's get in the water. I think its warm enough." _She's only going to relax if I can get her to think of something other than Brooke._

"What? Umm…no thanks. I think I've had enough fun for one day."

"Come on Peyton. I skipped to school to have some fun not sit around, mopping about because of Brooke Davis." _Okay so I was a little harsh but she has been worrying herself to death all summer and it stops now. Did I feel sorry for Brooke? Yes but what happened, happened and Peyton was going to have to accept the fact that she couldn't change it. And more importantly she was going to stop beating herself up, it wasn't healthy. _

"Haley she's my best friend."

_Ouch that stung. Well you sit yourself up for that one Haley James. So what if you've been there for her all summer Brooke's been there all her life. _"If she really is your best friend she'll call you later tonight bitch you out some more and then forgive you."

Ironically Haley was right, later that night after her bitch fest with Lucas for hanging up on her, Brooke gave Peyton a call.

----------------------------

"Hey…its me. Look I'm sorry about this afternoon…my feelings were just hurt."

"No Brooke I'm sorry we should have called you. I wish we had."

"Why didn't you then?" _I really wanted to know why I was excluded in 'girl time' _

_Where do I start?_ "A lot has happened this summer, some things only Haley knows and I really just needed to talk to someone who would understand."

_When did tutor wife replace me as P. Sawyer's best friend? I know we hadn't talked all summer but it wasn't because of mine lack of trying._ "How come you never called me?"

"I…I was just…"

"Peyton I really want to know. I tried calling at least a hundred times, I left you countless messages and you never returned them, why?" _Did I really think that by me coming back it would magically fix whatever was bothering her? Foolishly, yes I did I guess I was so excited about going home that I chose to overlook the fact that Peyton had been ignoring me all summer._

With no warning at all Peyton started hysterically crying. Brooke could barely understand her, "Brooke…I'm so…so…sorry. I …didn't mean…to hurt you."

"Sshh…Peyton. Sshh. Honey what's wrong?" _I couldn't be there for her if she didn't let me in. _

"Can…you pl…please…come over?" cried Peyton.

"Now?" It was well past midnight and she wasn't sure she could convince Karen to let her.

"Can you?" _I wasn't sure I was doing the right thing but I had to follow my heart and my heart was telling me to tell her tonight._

"Give me half an hour."

"Ok, bye"

_I know I can sneak out but how in the world am I going to get over there? She lived at least five miles away, walking was out of the question. I guess I can always run but it's so late. Maybe Luke won't mind taking me? _

Careful not to wake up Karen, Brooke tiptoed out of her room and into the living room, which was currently Lucas's bedroom until the garage apartment was finished.

"Bsss…wake up. Lucas come on. I need your car."

He wasn't budging so very carefully, as not to wake the whole house Brooke saddled his lap intending to have a little fun. "Lucas honey wake up", she whispered. Brooke very gently ran her hand all over his upper chest and down his arms but still nothing. _Come on broody wake up. _

Deciding that she needed to kick things up a notch so to speak, leaned forward and tenderly kissed his ear lob just the way she knew would drive him crazy. "Lucasssss…come on baby. Open your eyes for me" but much to her dismay she could not wake him.

When she finally just about given up she remembered his one and only tickle spot and very gently ran the back of her hand from the tip of his neck all the way down to his belly button and squeezed.

A groggily Lucas pushed Brooke's hand out of the way and said, "Hmm…five more minutes, Mom"

_Mom? Did my boyfriend just call me Mom? What a way to put a damper on the mood. Oh well, we really didn't have much time anyways. Peyton needs me. _

Brooke having had enough of this oh so boring game stood up walked around to the other side of the couch and lovingly pushed him off.

Thump. "Damn it", said a very frustrated and confused Lucas.

"Oh good you're awake", said a smiling Brooke.

"Yea I'm awake. Not to sound rude or anything but did you need something?"

"Yes actually I do. Can you please give me a ride to Peyton's?" _Oh he might not know it but he was taking me. He just needed a little convincing and the good old Brooke Davis charm._

"Brooke you know I love you right but it's after midnight can't this wait until morning?" _I need sleep and the last place I want to be is at Peyton's. _

"Oh come on Broody. Peyton and I need to talk. Please it's important, I would have walked but it's so far and it's dark outside. Please!"

"Walk? You're not walking! It's too late. I'll take you in the morning before school. Go back to bed, Brooke" But for some reason he didn't think that was the end of it. He knew Brooke far better than anyone else excluding Peyton of course and she didn't give up that easily. No, he was taking her and he knew that. He didn't mind really but he figured why not have some fun with her until then.

"Lucas Scott get up you are taking me to Peyton's and that's that."

"No Brooke I'm not. I'm going back to bed."

"Why of all the…" Brooke was fuming and Lucas was having a hard time keeping a straight face. He couldn't hold it in anymore and busted out laughing. "Lucas stop laughing at me!" said Brooke while hitting him playfully over and over again.

"Why Brooke Davis are you hitting me?" said Lucas with an evil glint in his eye, which only meant one thing.

"Lucasssss…don't you dare. I'm warning you!" Brooke tried running to the safely of her room but Lucas was too fast for her.

"Got you." He had her pinned in his arms, right where she belonged.

"Let me go."

"Not until you apologize for hitting me."

"Well then I guess we'll be here all night because I'm not apologizing."

"You're not?" said Lucas playfully.

"No I'm not", said an equally playful Brooke.

"Well then I guess I have no choice but to make you pay." Lucas picked up a very shocked Brooke and carried her to his room where he playfully threw her on the bed. He followed her onto the bed and started to tickle her. They were so caught up in each other that they didn't notice Karen at the door.

_I haven't seen him this happy since before Brooke left. She brought out the best in him and by the looks of it him in her. They were really in love, soul mates even. I just hope that she will find it in her heart to forgive him. It would take time of course but I think in the end they will always be each other's broody and cheery. _

The mother in her wanted to interrupt but the woman in her wanted to let the two lovers enjoy themselves for now at least. Because Karen knew that once Brooke found out the truth it would be a long time before she could ever been this carefree again. So just as quietly as she appeared, Karen disappeared to her room.

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_tbc…so I'm sure everyone's wondering what the secret is? Or maybe you've guessed? You'll just have to wait for the next update to know for sure:) Thanks to everyone who reads and/or reviews it means a lot_


	5. Loving It

**AN: Okay so here's another update! Finally…I'm not sure when the next update will be. I'll try to post it as soon as possible. I am sorry about the lack of updates but I guess that's just how I write…I'll try to update more often.**

_**Also the first portion of this story may not make sense to you because I wrote it that way. When a person reaches their breaking point they get a little crazy and this is Peyton's breaking point.**_

After hanging up with Brooke, Peyton sat on her bed and cried her eyes out. Tonight was the night she thought. Tonight was the night that Brooke would remember for the rest of her life. She was about to the break her best friend's heart and hers in the process.

_Where do I start? How do you start to tell someone that because of your stupidly and weakness you've ruined four lives. How can I tell her that I slept with Lucas or that I'm three months pregnant with his baby? She's going to hate me and I can't blame her. What we did, what I did was unforgivable. I still can't believe I'm going to be a mom in less than six months. I'm going to have a baby with someone who I don't love and at the moment aren't even on speaking terms. I can't even look at him, how can I when all I see is her. I feel so guilty all the time and I feel like I'm all alone. I know I have Haley but she has so much on her right now she doesn't need to add my stuff as well. Things are just so complicated. Jake's gone and so is Jenny, my dad's never around. He doesn't even know that I'm pregnant imagine what a shocker that will be. I really screwed up this time and saying sorry isn't going to make a damn of a difference. Too much has happened, it's to late for sorry…_

**Three Months Ago: Peyton's P.O.V.**

"I guess it's just you and me", said a heartbroken Lucas.

Peyton looked at Lucas and amazingly forgot about Jake leaving, Jenny missing, and Brooke moving to California. All she saw was Lucas Scott the first boy who made her heart race and palms sweat with just a look.

"Lucas why does everyone leave me?"

"Oh god…Peyton…I" For the first time Lucas didn't know what to say to make it better so he did the only thing he could think of he took her into his arms.

"Luke they always leave me. My mom…my dad, Jake and Jenny…Brooke." She could barely get the words out but somehow she knew that Lucas understood, he always did. One night was all she wanted…one night to forgot about everything and everyone but Lucas.

She doesn't exactly remember how it got started but one moment it was a friendly hug and the next thing she knew they were kissing and there was nothing friendly about it.

"Hmm…Luke, please don't stop."

"Oh God Peytonn…I've missed you."

"Me too…me too." It was wrong she knew but it felt so good and how could something that feels as good as this does be wrong. They were hurting but somehow being with each other it didn't hurt as bad.

_Jake was gone, possibly forever there was nothing left for me here, nothing but Lucas. My Lucas. He was the first boy I loved, the first boy who truly understood me, the first boy who was able to come between Brooke and me._

_Oh god, Brooke! What was I doing this wasn't my Lucas. He was hers_. "Stop…"

Lucas pulled away. "Oh god. I'm sorry…I shouldn't have done that. I just miss her so much."

_He really loves her…more than he ever loved me._ "She'll come back. I know she will."

"No. She was really upset. I think I made a mistake…she hates me."

"Sshh…Lucas, baby it's going to be okay. Like you said its you and me. I'll be here. I'm not going anywhere."

"Peyton…help. Stop the pain…"

_He was crying I wanted to stop the pain. I knew what I was doing. I knew what I was risking but it didn't matter. I did it. I admit it. I kissed him. He needed me. Mostly I needed him._

She lend in and softly kissed his lips. It wasn't like when she was kissing Jake this was different. She didn't get butterflies in her stomach; she didn't forget to breath it was like she was going though the motions but there was no passion involved. She wanted to stop but couldn't bring herself to. Soon the kiss turned into so much more and before she knew it he was inside her. It wasn't sweet or gentle. It was hard and rough but it was what both of them needed. They were like savages, each running from their own demons, each of them wanting to forget and for a while they did but nothing last forever.

It was some time later when they both came down from their high that the guilt settled in. They were both disgusted with themselves. It became a mutual agreement to forget what happened. No one was to know. No one.

"It never happened Lucas."

"But Peyton…"

"No! She'll never forgive us if she finds out."

They never spoke of that night again not until a few weeks later when Peyton found out she was pregnant.

**--------------**

**Present Time Peyton's House**

_There you have it. The whole story. Part of me wishes that if I just pretend that I'm not pregnant then maybe I won't be. That maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and realizes that my life for the last three months was nothing but a bad dream. The worst part is I don't even know if I'm going to keep it. Maybe it would be better for everyone if I didn't have the baby. Abortion is always an option but is it really one that I can go through with? Sometimes I feel like its my only way out and then I think about the baby growing inside me and I know in my heart that I cannot kill it but I honestly don't know if I can keep it either. I don't even know what Lucas wants. When I first told him he said he would be there for me whatever my decision was but it's been so long since we actually had a conversation that I don't know anymore._

_If someone told me three months ago that I would end up pregnant with Lucas's baby I would have laughed in their face. I was with Jake I loved him I still do if that's even allowed. Jake. I've must have sent him hundreds of e-mails all of which have gone unanswered. I have no idea if he's alive or okay. I don't even know if Jenny is. He never bothered to let me know. I know I have no right to be angry but I am. I'm angry that he left, I'm angry that he's not here when I need him the most, but mostly I'm angry that no matter how angry I get I can't stop loving him…_

------------------------

**Present Time Roe's House**

"Broody! Come on we have to stop. I told Peyton I would be there in half and hour", said a laughing Brooke.

"Not until you say it."

"Lucasss…come on stop! Please!"

"Say it first!"

"Oh all right! Lucas is super hot and he's all mine", said Brooke with a smirk on her face.

"Cute, Brooke but that's not what I want to hear."

"Well what ever do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I mean Brooke. Besides I would hate to have to tickle you again," said Lucas with a glint in his eyes.

"AHHHH! FINE! I'm sorry for hitting my poor, poor baby! Happy now?"

"Yes thank you! Now get up I have to take you to Peyton's."

"Finally!"

Brooke watched Lucas for a moment just enjoying the view but mostly the moment. _I'm so happy. I never thought I could be this happy. He makes me feel so alive. He's for real, he would never hurt me I know it. I can see it in his eyes. What we have is real no one can tear us apart._

"You're coming, beautiful?"

"What? Oh yea…one minute ok?"

"Sure. I'll be in the car." Lucas turned to walk out of the room but was called back.

"Hey Luke?"

"Yea?"

"I love you…" She had only ever said that to one other person, her best friend, Peyton Sawyer. It was not a phase she used lightly in fact she never used it. Up until last year guys were only good for one thing but somehow Lucas Scott had changed that. He gave her a reason to change, to become a better person. It was hard but with him by her side she could finally look in the mirror and like what she saw. So it was no surprise to her that she fell in love with him. Although blurting it out like she did wasn't exactly how she pictured telling him but it didn't really matter. What matter was that she really, truly meant it.

"I love you too, Brooke."

"I know…I'll be right there."

----------------------

_I should feel guilty but I don't. I meant what I said I do love her, I always will_.

Lucas was resting his head on the steeling wheel when Brooke showed up a few minutes later. He was so deep in thought he didn't hear her approach.

"Lucas I'm ready!"

Lucas jumped in fear but calmed down once he realized who it was "What are you doing to my heart silly girl?"

A laughing Brooke replied somewhat seriously "loving it."

_tbc…thanks for the reviews they mean a lot: )_


	6. The Truth Comes Out

**Chapter 6: The Truth Comes Out**

_**Earlier That Night:**_

"Nathan, honey its time for dinner." Deb looked in on her son and sent a silent pray to anyone that was listening, 'please don't let him give up on her'.

He was thinking about her again. Haley, his wife, the one person he had loved more than anything, still did even if he wouldn't admit it. Love like that you can't just shut off and on any time you want. Love like that never goes away. He knew that but then why wasn't he trying to work it out? She was back, Chris was gone, what more did he want? What did he want from her?

That was the one question he couldn't answer because he honestly didn't know.

"Sweetie?" Deb moved into the room and it was then that she noticed tears seeping through Nathan's eyes; slowly making a puddle on the floor.

"Oh god Nathan, honey it's going to be ok." She lifted him out the chair, pulled him towards the bed and cradled him in her arms like she used to when he was baby. Nathan's tears turned into body wrenching sobs. It broke Deb's heart seeing her only child in so much pain. She wanting nothing more than to fix it but she wasn't sure she could. "Sweetie talk to me, please."

But it was all too much for him. He didn't want to think about anything. "Mom…just hold me." It wasn't manly and it wasn't pretty but he needed unconditional love. The kind of love only a mother can give.

"Sshhh…I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

"But they always do. You, Haley, Dad…I was never enough."

_I was never good enough at basketball, I never made enough shots, and I wasn't fast enough. It didn't matter how hard I tried it was never enough for Dan. But it was okay because I knew that she would be there, to protect me, to hold me while I cried, to tell me that I was loved but then one day she wasn't there anymore. It was just me and Dan, I had no choice but to believe what he told me. By the time she came back it was too late, I had become my father. And then I meant Haley; we had this connection from the beginning. It was definitely nothing I had ever experienced before. It was amazing, she was amazing and then all of a sudden it was gone. She left me. I wasn't enough for her, just like I wasn't enough for my mom._

Turning him in her arms so they were face to face, she said firmly "Nathan Scott, you listen to me and you listen good I love you no matter what, you are the most important person in the world to me. I made a mistake but I want you to know that it wasn't because I didn't love you or because you weren't good enough. It was me Nathan, I was the one. I was the one who wasn't good enough not you, never you." She finally admitted it, her deepest fear.

"Mom, I needed you then", said a still emotional Nathan.

"I know and I'm so sorry. If I could go back and change it I would. I have would have done so many things differently. Starting with marrying your father."

"Did you ever love, Dad?" It was a question, Nathan often wondered.

"Honey there are many different types of love. At one point I loved Dan the way a wife is suppose to love her husband but he stopped loving himself a long time ago, Nathan. I don't…I don't even recognize him anymore. The only feelings I have for him now, is gratitude for giving me you."

Nathan embraced his mother letting the love of her wash over him for the first time since he could remember. "I love Haley. I don't think I ever stopped."

"Have you told her?" not the least bit surprised to hear what she already knew.

"It sounds stupid but I don't know how."

"Well it can't be that hard. Just go to her and tell her how you feel."

"Its not that simple, Mom. Things between us are so…I don't think it's going to work."

"Well you never know, sweetie unless you try."

"Yea…maybe you're right." Life was so complicated in the Scott household but somehow through all the pain and the angry, mother and son found peace for the first time in a long time.

----------------

**Lucas's Car:**

Brooke was so content just being with Lucas that she didn't realize that neither one of them had said a word since leaving the house. "What are you thinking about?"

Lucas looked towards the blue eye beauty next to him and said with a cocky smile, "you of course."

Brooke returned the gesture with her famous 'Brooke Davis' smile, "Real funny. For real though."

"I don't know…"

Brooke knew him well enough to know when he was lying, "Tell me."

Taking his eye off the road for a one second, Lucas looked Brooke in the eyes, "I did. I was thinking about you. I always am."

"Oh." She couldn't help but smile. In fact since she got back from California she had done nothing but smile. Maybe this is what being in love felt like.

"Oh? All I get is a little old oh"

Brooke playfully hit Lucas on the arm, "Well what do you want me to say?"

"How about you think about me all the time too. That would be good."

"Well you don't want to me lie do you?" said Brooke while trying not to laugh. But she could hold it in for long. "Aww hon, I'm just playing. I couldn't stop thinking about you even if I wanted to."

Brooke reached over, took his hand in hers and brought it to her lips, "I love you Lucas Scott. I hope you know that."

"I love you too Brooke always and forever."

"So you think we'll be together forever, huh?"

"I don't know what the future holds for us Brooke but I hope more than anything that we will be together," said Lucas seriously and wholeheartedly.

"Me too." said Brooke just as seriously. Looking out the window she noticed that they had just turned onto Peyton's street. As they drove up Lucas started to turn into the drive way "No just pull over."

"But I wanted…"

"Peyton and I need some girl time. I'm sorry."

"It's ok I understand. How about I pick you up at 8:00 and take you to school?"

"Deal. I'll be ready at 8:15." Brooke leans over and gives Lucas a kiss on the check and proceeds to hop out of the car. "Night broody. Thanks for the ride."

"Brooke, wait! School starts at 8:15. Brooke!" but it was too late, she was too busy laughing to hear him.

Knowing Peyton never locked the door, Brooke let herself in but she wasn't prepared for what she saw. The house was a wreck, chairs were full of clothes and magazines, pillows and blankets were on the floor, and the kitchen sink was filled with dirty ice cream bowls. "Pey where are you?" she shouted.

One word was all she heard, "Upstairs."

Opening the door to Peyton's room she wasn't surprised to see Peyton lying on the bed drawing, as usually. "Hey. What happened downstairs?"

"Huh?"

"The mess?"

"Oh Haley lives here now and we kind of a had a girl's night." She regretted the words as soon as she said them. "Brooke I'm sorry…I"

"It's okay. Haley has been here all summer. It hurts but I understand."

Before Peyton could respond, the tears started fall. Brook rushed to her side. "Peyton tell me what's wrong."

"I can't you'll hate me."

Pulling her up to her level, Brooke look her in the eyes said, "Peyton you are my best friend I could never hate you. It's you and me, you know that."

"Brooke I'm so scared…I've screwed up so badly and I can't undo it. It's hopeless."

"Peyton nothing is ever hopeless. I mean look at Lucas and I who would have ever thought me and him would work out? But we did and I've never been happier."

"I'm pregnant."

"For a while there I didn't think it would work out between Lucas…WHAT? You're pregnant! How? I mean whose the father? What are you going to do?" said a very confused Brooke.

"Lucas" Peyton whispered.

"Lucas? Lets talk about him later. Tell me the father is Jake! How come I'm just finding out now that Jake is back?"

"Brooke, Lucas is the father," said Peyton a little louder.

"Noooo Jake is."

"Brooke I haven't seen Jake since he left in May."

Smirking Brooke said, "I don't understand Peyton."

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath Peyton replied, "I slept with Lucas…and I'm pregnant."

"Wh…What?"

"Brooke we didn't mean for it…"

"…didn't mean?"

"Jake was gone, you just left…we were alone" said Peyton, looking anywhere but at her best friend.

"So you had sex with my boyfriend!"

"No it wasn't like that. Please you have to understand"

Getting off the bed and backing up towards the door, Brooke whispered "Understand? This cannot be happening again…please tell me you're joking!" Peyton moves towards Brooke "Don't you dare touch me. Stay away from me, Peyton"

"Brooke, please I'm so sorry! I didn't want any of this to happen." But she was talking to thin air.

Brooke raced down the stairs and out the door. She had to get to Lucas. She had to know if it was true.


	7. Some Things You Just Can

**Chapter 7: Some Things You Just Can't Undo **

**Lucas's House – 10 Minutes Later:**

Brooke fanatically knocked on his bedroom door. A bedroom door that over time had become her home. It can't be true. He wouldn't do that to me, he loves me I know he does. He just told me not an hour ago. No, she's lying, she has to be, right? She is. I know she is. She just doesn't want me to be happy.

Brooke was so deep in thought that it took her a moment to realize that Lucas had opened the door and was talking to her. She tried to move her lips but they weren't cooperating. All she managed to do was stare, which only worried Lucas more.

"Brooke, talk to me! Tell me what's wrong?" yelled Lucas.

Brooke flinched at the loudness of his voice but she managed to find her voice when he reached out to her "Don't touch me"

"What…Brooke. I don't understand."

"Is it true?" whispered Brooke.

His worst nightmare had just become a reality, "She told you…"

"Oh my god, its true then? I never thought…after ever thing" she was speechless.

Lucas guided Brooke into the room but she cringed at the touch of his hand on her.

She hates me, "Brooke, please listen…"

"How could you? After everything?"

"It was a mistake. You have to believe…" cried Lucas

Brooke lost it and screamed, "Believe you? How in the hell can I believe anything you say? God you would think I learned my lesson last time. I mean once a cheater always a cheater, right?"

"Please Brooke it wasn't like that. I was upset, you had just left and I…"

"If I hear that one more time I am going to scream! What did you want me to do my family moved to California?"

"I'm just trying to explain. I never wanted to hurt you Brooke, I lov…"

"Don't you dare finish, don't you dare. You don't love me! You never did."

"Brooke don't say that, please! I love you!"

The little control she had been able to achieve since her world had been turned upside down went out the window when Lucas declared his love for her. She had never been so angry and hurt in her life so she did the only thing she could. She pounded him with her fists over and over again "I hate you! Do you hear me Lucas Scott? I hate you! I hate you!"

It was some time later when she felt Karen pulled her off of him "Brooke, honey stop, you have to stop." Karen embraced the girl that she had come to love like her own daughter.

"I hate him, I hate him" cried Brooke.

Lucas hopelessly watched his mother try to offer comfort to the girl he loved more than anything. "Mom…she knows."

"I kind of figured that out, Lucas" replied Karen a little more forcefully than she would have liked.

Brooke moved out of Karen's arms "Wh…what? You knew?"

All Karen could do was shake her head 'yes'.

Brooke turn towards Lucas "who else?" she screamed.

"Nathan…Haley"

"They all knew…and to think I thought they were my friends, what a joke? But I guess the joke is on me, huh? Poor old Brooke when will she ever learn that when it comes to Peyton she's always gonna be second best."

"Please Brooke it isn't like that!"

"I have to go…I have to think" cried Brooke as she ran out of the room.

"Brooke! Brooke? Stop!" yelled Lucas but it was too late she was already gone.

She didn't get far before she realized that she had no where to go. Her purse was at Lucas's; she couldn't go Haley's or Nathan's, and Peyton was out of the question. She was all alone.

How dare he say he loves me after what he did? He didn't have the right, not anymore. I hate him I really hate him. I never want to see them again. Never! They are both died to me. How could they do that to me again?

Wishing she had grabbed a bigger jacket she put her hands in her pockets in hopes of getting warm and it was then that she realized that her cellphone was ringing, 'Call from Broody'. She hit the ignore button and proceeded to call the last person in the world she ever thought she would ask for help. "Mom…its Brooke. I need your help."

Sleepily Barbara responded, "Brooke do you know what time it is? What ever it is I'm sure it can wait until morning?"

"Mom please. Lucas Scott broke my heart."

Maybe it was the why she said it or maybe it was because for the first time mother and daughter finally had something in common, their hearts were broken by the men that they loved. "Oh Brookie. What happened?"

"Peyton's pregnant. Lucas is the father."

Barbara grasped "But I thought he was in-love with you…"

"So did I" cried Brooke. "I don't have any where to go…I left my purse at Lucas's"

"I'm going to book you a room at the _Graystone_. Can you get there okay?"

"Yea I think so."

"Good. I'll be on the first flight out of here tomorrow morning."

"You would do that for me?" asked Brooke

"I know that I'm not the best mother in the world but I do love you Brooke."

"I didn't know. I mean…I always thought you and daddy hated me."

"Hate you? Brooke we're your parents, we love you. We just don't always know how to show it. Look we'll talk more once I get there just hold tight, okay?"

"No…don't come here. I wanna come home" said a surprised Brooke.

"Are you sure? I'm not sure coming here is the right…"

"You don't want me to come?"

"No, that's not it…check the front desk in the morning a ticket will be waiting."

Relieved Brooke replied "Thanks mom." Closing her phone and continuing on her way Brooke prayed that she had made the right decision. She didn't belong here, not anymore.

------------

"Mom…" Lucas cried.

Karen crossed the room and took her only son in her arms. She cradled him like she used to when he was little "Sshh honey…it's going to be alright" all the while gently stoking his hair.

"How mom? She hates me…I hate me!"

"Just give her time. She'll come around. She loves you I know she does."

"I screwed up so bad this time. I lost the girl I love, I'm going to have a child with someone I don't love, and worst of all I don't even know if I want this child."

"Lucas Eugene Scott!" Lucas tried to protests but his mother stopped him, "Whether you want to be or not you are going to be a father so you better start acting like one."

"Mom…"

"No you listen to me. Brooke is hurt right now give her some space. When she is ready she'll come to you. Peyton on the other hand…"

"I don't want to talk about Peyton!"

"Lucas, you and Peyton are going to have a child together. You two need to stop acting like children and start acting like parents. One of these days you are going to have to talk to her."

"I can't mom, not right now. Things between Peyton and I have always been complicated and with this baby it makes things damn near impossible" replied Lucas.

"Take all the time you need Lucas but remember some things you just can't undo. In six months time you will be a father to a beautiful baby girl or boy. You better start getting used to it." With that said Karen got up and left Lucas to think over a few things. She had a few things to do herself, like find out where Brooke was, and the Davis's know that one day back in Tree Hill she had already lost their daughter.

"Hello."

"Barbara Davis? Hi this is Karen Roe. I was calling to let you know…"

"I already know Karen. I received a phone call from Brooke earlier tonight."

"How is she doing?" asked Karen. She was really worried about the girl. Brooke it seemed overnight had become a part of her family. She was the daughter she never had.

"Not good. I booked her a room at the Graystone for the night."

"Good. I hate to admit it but I think for the time being, someplace other than here, is the best place for her."

"Yes well I'm glad that you agree because Brooke will be flying to California tomorrow, permanently."

"Permanently? Ms. Davis I'm not sure running away is the best way for your daughter to handle this."

"I appreciation the advice but Brooke wants to come home and in light of resent events I can at least give her that."

"But… please listen to me. Your daughter and my son belong together. If you could only see them you would know they were meant to be."

"Lucas got her best friend pregnant. Would you want to stick around?"

"No but running away isn't the answer, either" replied Karen.

"I can see that we are not going to agree on the subject however, Brooke is my daughter and I have the final say. If she wants to come home then I'm not going to stop her."

"It doesn't seem that I'm gonna be able to change your mind. Is there anything I can do to help?" said Karen heartbroken because she didn't know how she was going to tell Lucas that Brooke was leaving.

"Actually there is. My assistant is flying out tomorrow; she should arrive at

3 o'clock. I would appreciation it if someone could be there so she may pack-up all of Brooke's belongings."

"Yes, of course…one of us will be here."

"One more thing Ms. Roe I feel it is best, for the time being that you nor Lucas contact my daughter."

"Please Barbara don't do this" cried Karen.

"I didn't do this, your son did" and with that Barbara Davis hung up.

tbc…


	8. Wishing It Wasn't So

_**AN: Okay I made a mistake in Chapter 6) Haley is living with Peyton she wasn't just there for a sleepover. It won't come into play until the next chapter but I wanted to clear that up!**_

**Chapter 8: Wishing It Wasn't So  
**

**_Brooke's Hotel Room_**

After checking into her room, Brooke found herself in the shower desperately trying to wash Lucas off her body and out of her heart. The tears were steaming down her face so fast she could barely see what she was doing. She scrummed and scrummed but she could still smell Lucas on her, she could still hear Lucas in her head. 'I love you Brooke Davis'

Brooke screamed, "Noooo! No! You don't. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!" she repeated over and over again in hopes of believing it herself. When that didn't work, she started pounding on the walls of the shower all the while screaming "Why? Why? What did I do?" Brooke was in so much emotional pain that she didn't even notice that her hands were bleeding until she heard the frequent beating on her hotel room door.

Stepping out of the shower shegrabbed a towel to cover hernaked body and another one to cover her hands.Walking to the door she expected it to be hotel management asking her to keep it down. "I didn't realize I was being so loud I'll…Karen what are you doing here?"

"Brooke can I come in?"

"I don't think that is a good idea" said Brooke while pulling the towel more firmly around herself and making it possible for Karen to see her very bloodily hands.

Letting herself in, Karen grasped, "Goodness, Brooke what happened to your hands?"

"I don't want to talk about it Karen. Is there a reason you're here?"

"First off lets see those hands."

"Karen, please…"

"Hands. Now Brooke!"

It was a useless battle and Brooke knew it. "Fine! Here, are you happy now" said Brooke as she thrust her hands outward.

Karen grasped, for the second time that night "Brooke they looked like you were beating them against something. What in world happened?"

Brooke felt the tears welling up, "Karen, please. I can't do this right now."

"Brooke sweetie. I know you're upset with me right now but try to understand I didn't say anything because Lucas assured me that he would tell you."

Nodding her head Brooke said, "I know. I just feel so stupid. I mean everyone knew but me just like last time."

Karen sat down on the bed and padding the space next to her, "Brooke sit down."

"I still can't believe it. Lucas and Peyton…a baby" the tears were out before she could ever finish.

"Honey, let it out. I know it hurts." Brooke held onto Karen like she was her life support. She couldn't let go, she didn't want to Karen was all she had. Her friends would side with Lucas and Peyton just like they did last time. Her life in Tree Hill was over, everything was different now and there was nothing she could do about it. Her only family was her mother and she still wasn't quite sure how she felt about their newfound relationship.

"Karen I'm so scared. Peyton and I have been friends since we were little. She's the only family I've ever had."

"Brooke I know it doesn't seem like it now but Peyton is still your friend and Lucas still love…"

"Please don't say that. I know I'm desperate for friends right now but I don't need someone like Peyton as one and I know Lucas is your son Karen but he is just like all the other guys I've ever been with. He used me. I never meant anything to him" cried Brooke.

"Sweetie you don't believe that. I know you don't."

Brooke whispered, "You're right I don't…How could he do that me? How could he sleep with her?" Brooke desperately wanted some answers but the only way she was going to get any was if she talked to Lucas and that was something she refused to do.

"I honestly don't know sweetie but I do know that it had nothing to do with you."

"Do you think Lucas is a good guy?"

"Brooke he's my son…"

"Just answer the question. Do you think Lucas is a good guy?"

Closing her eyes Karen replied, "Yes I do."

"You see. It must be me, something must be wrong with me. I guess everyone was right Brooke Davis is incapable of being loved."

"I didn't mean it that way. Lucas is a good guy but even good guys can mess up. He knows that he screwed up big time"

"Yea he screwed my best friend now she's pregnant and I can't do shit about it" smirked Brooke.

"You're right you can't change what happened but you can change what happens now."

"I can't do this right now. Not when all I can think about is…"

"Is what?" asked Karen

"Not when all I can think about is how I wish the baby was mine," whispered Brooke.

She fall into Karen's arms desperately trying to forget that Lucas was having a child with her best friend, even if it was just for a moment.

_Poor girl. She is completely drained, no wondered she fall asleep so fast. It's going to take a long time for Brooke to get past this. I'm not sure she'll ever be able to forgive Lucas and Peyton and I honestly can say that I blame her. Maybe the best thing for her is to leave Tree Hill. It would kill her to be around Lucas and Peyton every day. Maybe for the first time in Brooke's life her mother made a selfless and good decision concerning the welfare of her daughter._

Carefully laying Brooke on the bed, as not to wake her, Karen grabbed her purse and keys and quietly slipped out the door but not without leaving a note.'Dear Brooke ifyou ever needed anything,please don't hesitant to call.' Karen didn't understand why at the exact moment she said her goodbyes to the sleeping girl an unfading feeling that one day in the distance future Tree Hill and Brooke would meet again.

---------

"Mom where were you? I was worried" said Lucas.

Covering her heart in fright Karen said, "Lucas you scared me."

"I'm sorry. I was just worried. I didn't know where you were and you wouldn't picking up your cellphone…I can't find Brooke I was hoping you could help me."

"Lucas I think maybe you should give her some time to get used to…everything. You've had all summer she just found out tonight"said Karendesperately trying to make her son understand.

"Mom I can't I love her…I don't want to lose her" cried Lucas.

"Lucas there is something I have to tell you"

"What is it? Is it Brooke? Mom tell me already" said Lucas anxiety wanting for what ever his mother had to say.

"Brooke…honey she's leaving."

"Wh…what?"

"I'm sorry Lucas but she flying to California in the morning, permanently."

"No…you're wrong. She wouldn't just leave like that. She's going to cool down and then we'll talk and everything will be like it was. I know it will…it has to be," said Lucas trying to convince himself.

"Honey I'm sorry but she's leaving."

Jumping up Lucas said "I have to talk to her…tell her not to go. Mom where is she?"

"Lucas I don't think…"

"Mom please…tell me! I have to see her."

"I can't tell you. She needs some time. I think for now you need to let her go."

Getting down on his knees, Lucas begged his Mom, "Please Mom. Please! Please!"

Shaking her head 'no' Karen reached out and touched Lucas's cheek, "You need to let her go. I'm sorry Lucas but for now it's over." She couldn't stand to see her boy cry but if he sought Brooke out before she was ready to see him, she feared it really would be the end of them. Brooke was in a dark place right now and the only person that could help her was herself.

---------------

Brooke woke up to crying; she slowly looked around the room and realized she was alone. The sobs she heard were her own. It all came back to her, Lucas, Peyton, and the baby. Before she knew it she was hysterical again.

_This has to stop. This is your own fault, I mean how stupid can you get? When are you going to learn that Lucas loves Peyton he always has and he always will! Girl wake up! He didn't mean anything he said to you. He loves Peyton I mean he is having a baby with her. FINE! He wants her, her can have her but I never want to see either one of them again. They are died to me and I to them._

But she didn't really believe that how could she when she was still in love with Lucas and still thought of Peyton as her best friend?

It was almost 8 in the morning before Brooke finally made it to the front desk. "Hi, I'm in room 310. There should be a plane ticket waiting for me."

"Name, please."

"Brooke…Brooke Davis."

"Ah, yes Ms. Davis here you are. You also have a message."

"Thank you."

The plane didn't leave until 3 o'clock so she had a few hours to kill in the safety of her room. Walking back, Brooke noticed the message was from her mother 'Brooke, my assistant is not available to handle the packing of your things or the task of withdrawing you from school. If you like I can fly down and do it myself. Call me.'

_Great. Now what am I going to do?_ Reaching for her cellphone, she decided now was as good as any to call her mother. "Mom. Hi, it's Brooke. I got your message."

"Oh good. Listen I can't arrange a flight to Tree Hill until day after tomorrow. Do you think…?"

"Not a problem. Don't worry about it. My plane doesn't leave for a while. I'll go by Luc…I mean Karen's and get my stuff. Besides most of my stuff is still packed." It was no big deal, right? But then why did she feel like it was a mistake to go there?

"If you don't mind I would appreciate it."

"Its cool" said Brooke even though it really wasn't but how could she explain that to her Mother?

"Good. You will also need to stop by the high school and get your records."

"Yes mother. I'll do that too." _The school was going to be absolute torture but I get through it just like I get through everything else. _

"Brookie are you…"

"I'm sorry but I have to go. I'll see you at the airport – "

"About the airport your father and I won't be able to make it. Duty calls but Rosie, the housekeeper will pick you up." _It was better this way I may not win the mother of the year award but the best thing I can do for Brooke is teach her to depend on herself. People can't be trusted I learned that the hard way and its time my daughter learned it too. _

Feeling the tears well up in her eyes Brooke said, "Mom I thought you were going to pick me up? I really need you." _Please don't do this to be now I need you. Daddy and you are all I have left. _

"Brookie don't be so dramatic. I will be back later this week."

"Ok, when?"

"I'm not really sure, possibly Saturday, Sunday at the latest." _She had to understand even if it met I had to be cruel._

"Saturday! Mom it's Tuesday I was really hoping we could talk," said Brooke.

"We can when I get back. Bye sweetie. Love you!"

"Yea, love you too" whispered Brooke.

Barbara hung up the phone and almost immediately her heart took her to a place and time when she was young, happy, and in love. A part of her life that she had tried countless times to forget because it was too hard to remember what she hadlost.

_tbc…_


	9. You Can't Avoid Me Forever

Chapter 9: You Can't Avoid Me Forever

_I have to see her. I need to explain that I finally realized that I don't want to lose her. It almost killed me the last time; I can't go through that again. _After Nathan's heart-to-heart with his mother, he made a decision to honestly try to work things out with Haley. He knew it wouldn't be easy and wasn't sure they could even fix what they both broke but he loved her enough to try.

_Ding Dong_, Nathan waited patiently for someone to answer the door. "Nathan…what are you doing here?"

_She looked beautiful as usual_, "Haley I had to see you. Can we talk?"

To say the least Haley was surprised, Nathan had been avoiding her since he got back from High Flyers, she had no idea what he wanted. "Huh…I mean I thought you were avoiding me?"

"Yea, well you are my wife…and I can't avoid you forever."

_His wife? Did he just acknowledge that I was his wife?_ "Are you playing with me Nathan? Is this some kind of game? See how much you can screw Haley up. Let me tell you –"

He hadn't planned on kissing her but she look so adorable in her pajamas and her hair in a bun. From the first moment her lips touch his, he felt like he was home. Her lips were so soft and full that it was hard for Nathan to concentrate on anything else. In the few The kiss couldn't have lasted more than 30 seconds yet somehow it all the drama of their relationship went out the window. It didn't matter anymore, he loved her, and he was willing to fight for their marriage.

"Haley…I love you."

_This better be real I don't think I could take it if it wasn't _"Don't say things you don't mean."

"But I do mean it Haley. I know I haven't been nice to you lately but - "

"Nice? Nice!" she started laughing. "Nathan you have been an ass to me since the moment you step foot back in Tree Hill."

_She wasn't making this easy but I guess I haven't either._ "You're right I have been an ass to you and I'm sorry but I want to try to work things out. I'm not ready for our marriage to end."

Without missing a beat Haley replied, "You know what's funny? Yesterday I wanted nothing more than to hear you say that but I realized something last night Nathan. I realized that maybe you were right when you said that we got married too young –"

_He hated that he made her question their marriage_, "No I was wrong. Our marriage can still work I know it can."

Shaking her head Haley said, "I think it's too late…"

"Haley please…I'm sorry." _It's not to late._

"Nathan we both are but-"

"But nothing. We love each other this can work."

"We loved each other before and it didn't work. All we seem to do to one another is cause each other pain. I'm sorry Nathan but its over."

Haley slowly closed the door in his face and sank to floor in tears. _I did the right thing one day he will thank me. I mean not even 24 hours ago he was telling you it wasn't going to work. This is for the best. We are too young; too native to see that sometimes love just isn't enough._

_No its not over, Haley is just running scared. I just have to show her that I didn't mean what I said that I truly believe we can work this work I just have to show her that I'm not giving her up without a fight. After ever thing I at least owe her that. _Banging on the door Nathan screamed with emotion, "Haley I know you're scared. I am too but I promise this time it will be different. I love you Haley and I know you love me."

Haley yanked the door open, "You say you love me but how can I trust that love when it wasn't enough before."

Try to explain Nathan said, "Haley listen to me…last night me and my mom talked and I realized a very things. When the whole thing happened with Chris I was jealous. I was so jealous that I could barely see straight but when you left with him –"

"I didn't leave with Chris, Nathan. I went on tour" said Haley. She was sick of trying to explain her relationship with Chris to Nathan. He would never understand that their relationship was strictly platonic.

"Ok when you went on tour. I felt like you deserted me. I was so alone and scared that I was never going to see you again. It didn't help that I already started to second-guess your relationship with Chris. I know that _he_ kissed you but you said yourself that you didn't try to stop him. Do you have any idea how that made me feel?"

"Nat –"

"Like shit, Haley and that's putting it nicely."

"Just stop, please. I said I was sorry and I meant it. If I could take it back I would but I can't. Look there is no point to this conversation."

"I didn't tell you that to hurt you or upset you. I'm just trying to explain why I acted the way I did. You are the first person in my entire life that I have ever completely trusted and when you left I felt like I had been punched in the stomach" cried Nathan while begging with his eyes for Haley to understand.

Haley closing her eyes in hopes of keeping the tears from falling but failing said, "I'm so sorry Nathan. I never meant to hurt you."

Not being able to stop himself from having her in his arms any longer, Nathan reached for her and made a silent promise to himself that he would never let her go again. "I know you didn't and that's why I forgive you and I hope you can forgive me for acting the way I did."

"I don't want to get hurt again, Nathan. My heart can't take it." said Haley honestly.

"Good cause neither can mine. Lets take it slow this time, go on a date with me tonight?"

Laughing through her tears, Haley replied "A date? We're married."

Smiling Nathan said, "Well married couples can date."

Trusting her heart and Nathan, Haley shook her head 'yes'.

"Ok good. Why don't you go get ready for school I'll drive you today?"

"Okay just let me go talk to Peyton." Haley turned towards the stairs but Nathan called her back. "Hey do you know if Peyton has talked to Brooke, yet?"

"No I don't think so. Has Luke?"

"From what I saw yesterday that would be a no."

"What happened yesterday?" said Haley.

"Well I kind of caught of Brooke and Luke…in the eraser room."

"The eraser room? That jerk! I'm gonna kill him. What the hell was he thinking? He hasn't even told her about Peyton."

"I think that's the point he wasn't _thinking_. Has Peyton said anything about telling her?"

"We talked yesterday but if it was up to her she wouldn't tell her at all."

"Yea well somebody better tell her and quick because the whole school knows."

"Don't worry I'll talk to Peyton today."

"I guess I'll talk to Luke."

"No…you leave Lucas to me."

"Haley don't get upset. Its none of our business."

"I don't care if it isn't. He shouldn't be in the eraser room with her especially since she doesn't even know" said Haley angrily.

"Wow! Haley calm down I didn't know you cared so much about Brooke."

Shocked and a little hurt Haley replied, "What? Nathan she's my friend."

"Ok I'm sorry I just thought – "

"Well you thought wrong. I mean I know we haven't been the best of friends in the past but I just feel so bad for her. She doesn't deserve what's happening."

"You're right she doesn't. I mean she can be hard to like sometimes but underneath it all she's really, very vulnerable."

"I know that's what scares me. One sec okay?"

Shaking his head 'yes' Nathan went in the living room to wait for Haley.

---------------

Knocking on her door softly, Peyton looked up from her journal as Haley walked in "Hey Pey you almost ready for school." Taking one look at Peyton, Haley knew something was wrong, "What's wrong?"

Looking down Peyton replied, "I told her. Last night."

A little surprised Haley asked, "Where was I?"

"Sleeping like a log in your room as usual" said Peyton jokingly but as soon as the smile reached her lips she instantly felt guilty. _I don't deserve to be happy not after what I did. _

"How did she take it?" asked Haley although she had a pretty good idea.

She wasn't sure where to began. Everything was still fresh in her mind but she wasn't ready to accept the reality of last night. "At first she didn't believe it and then when she realized I wasn't playing she told me to never talk to her again and then she ran to Lucas's. I'm assuming anyways I don't really know for sure." Reliving possible one of the worst nights of her life, Peyton couldn't help but cry.

Nodding Haley asked, "Have you talked to Lucas?"

"No…I don't know what to say to him."

"Pey I'm so sorry but you had to tell her at some point. She had to know and its better that you told her and not someone else."

"My life is over Haley" cried Peyton.

"Please…its not over. You're only seventeen."

"Exactly I'm only seventeen. For god sakes I can't be a mother. I wouldn't know what to with the child."

"Peyton want about Jenny. You were wonderful with her."

Leave it to Haley to bring up long, lost memories that should stay buried forever, "That was different I was in…in love. Jake was here." Haley walked towards her friend but stopped mid way when Peyton flinched, "NO! I don't deserve comfort. I'm a horrible person and I don't deserve you, Brooke, and especially Jake."

"That's not fair. People make mistakes…you need to forgive yourself for yours. You are so wrong about not deserving us. Peyton I don't know what I would have done without you this summer. You were my rock I didn't have anywhere to go but you…you took me into your home and made me feel welcomed.

Caving Peyton cried, "Oh Haley I just want things back to normal. I want Brooke to come bursting in here and tell me to get my Sawyer butt up. I want my best friend back. Is that too much to ask?"

"No…no it's not but maybe for Brook it is. She just found out last night Peyton. Give it a chance to sink in."

"I know but I guess…I guess I just thought she would forgive me," cried Peyton.

"And I truly believe that she will but you need to give her some time and space."

"No you didn't see her last night, Haley. S…sh…she hates me." Losing control of her emotions Peyton put her head in her hands and cried. She cried for the best friend she may never get back, she cried for her unborn child, and she cried for a future she wouldn't get.

Haley's arms were almost instantly around her, soothing her, comforting her. "It's going to be alright. She's your best friend, Peyton. She loves you."

"Not anymore…and its all my fault."

"You made a mistake. Now I know that I don't know Brooke as well as you, but I do know that she's loyal to her friends. She come around."

"It took her almost three months to forgive me for a kiss. A kiss! This is a baby we're talking about here I'll die before she forgives me."

"Don't say things like that. I honestly believe that everything will work out."

"How can you be sure?" Peyton asked.

"Its called faith. I have faith in you, in Lucas, and in Brooke. You three will work it out, I feel it."

"I hope you're right, Haley. I really hope you're right."

"I know I am. Now come on lets get ready for school. I'm sure Brooke has calmed down by now. "

"School? I'm not going to school today. It's the last place I want to be."

"Come on Peyton it will be good for you. Now get up, get dress, and come downstairs for breakfast and if you hurry I'll even let you drive me and Nathan to school."

"You and Nathan?"

"Long story…just get your butt up and brush those teeth of yours."

Laughing Peyton responded "Bitch…give me 15 minutes. I'll be ready" but the smile never reached her eyes. How could it when she knew that things weren't going to work out as easily as Haley believed?

"Peyton I know that things suck right now…but I hope you know that you have me," said Haley sincerely.

With out hesitating Peyton responded honestly, "I know." _Haley wasn't Brooke and we would never have the same connection as Brooke and I but she really meant well. I could trust her she was my friend. _

tbc…

A/N hi guys i just wanted to say thanks to those who are reviewing, it means alot! keep them coming :)


	10. She's Leaving

**Chapter 10: She's Leaving**

_I know I must respect her mother's wishes but surely she was just trying to protect her daughter. She couldn't have meant what she said; Brooke is apart of this family even if sat the moment she doesn't feel like it. I know that I'm not her mother and she's not really my daughter but in my heart she is and that's all that's matters. I need to talk to Barbara again make her understand. I wonder if 8o'clock is too early to call? Oh what the hell this is important…_

"Mrs. Davis…this is Karen, sorry to call you so early."

"Yes well that's okay. Is there something I can do for you?" said Barbara a little impatiently.

"Um… yes, well I wanted to let you know that the back door is unlocked. No one will be here after 9 or before 4. Is that enough time for your assistant to get Brooke's belongings?"

"Oh about that. My assistant can't make it. Brooke is actually going to do it herself."

"Oh well…umm okay. How does Brooke feel about that?" asked a concerned Karen.

"She is fine with it. I'll pass on the message about the times."

"Yes okay thank you. One more thing have you thought about withdrawing her from school? I know you have to do that in person."

"Yes we have Brooke will be doing that as well."

To say the least, she was a little bit surprised that Brooke agreed to go to the High School after last night. No offence to Brooke but the last place she wants to be is anywhere near Lucas or Peyton. "Agreed or forced?" asked Karen while fearing that she already knew the answer.

"I resent the implication Mrs. Roe. Brooke knows that her Father and I are very busy people. She is a big girl she can take care of herself."

The last thing she wanted to do was make Barbara mad but sometimes the woman was so selfish that it amazed Karen she had become a mother in the first place. "I'm sorry Ms. Davis. Its just…you do realize that if she goes to the High School she is almost certain to run into Lucas or Peyton and having talked to your daughter that is the last thing she wants."

Taking a deep breath Barbara responded, " I'm sorry but it can't be helped. Goodbye Ms. Roe. Please don't call here again."

"Barbara! Wait!" She paused for a moment searching for the right words, " I'm not trying to cause trouble…but I saw Brooke last night and she's not in a good place. I know you love you daughter…I just don't think you understand how bad the situation is."

Here's your chance to make things different, to actually love Brooke instead of just saying you do. No…no it's too late Barbara thought.. "Karen I understand the situation perfectly but Brooke has to learn…to count on herself and only herself."

"But if you would only listen to me –" but there was no use, Barbara had already hung up. Stunned and a little angry that she could have such little compassion for her daughter Karen hung up the phone and went in search of Lucas, hoping that somehow Brooke would be alright.

-----------

"Lucas, honey its time for school." _I wonder if he got any sleep last night I know I didn't. _

"I'm awake." He knew it was wrong but he couldn't help but be angry with his mother. He wanted so badly to talk to Brooke and she just flat out refused to tell me where she was.

"Its almost 8 o'clock. You're not ready."

"That would be because I'm not going to school today."

"And why not?" _If he thought not going to school was acceptable then he had another thing coming. _

"Because I don't feel like facing the anyone today. I just want to stay home."

"You know Lucas sitting in your room isn't going to change anything that has happened. You still have a life to live."

Putting his head in his hands, "Don't you understand? Brooke is gone! I may never see her again and all you can talk about is going to school. Well thanks but no thanks I whether stay home."

"Lucas feeling sorry for yourself won't being Brooke back."

"No but being able to talk to her would! But wait I can't cause you won't tell me where she is."

"Lucas if you crowd her now you risk ruining whatever chance you may have with her."

"I just need to see her. Please! Tell me where she is."

Karen looked away and Lucas knew the answer, "Just leave, Mom and don't brother talking to me again. I want to be by myself."

A little annoyed Karen said, "I know you are upset and hurting so I'm going to ignore what you just said but it is a school day so I suggest you get dressed."

"Give it up already! I'm not going to school! Not today and probably not tomorrow."

"I'm sorry that you feel that way…but you will go to school today. The subject is closed." Lucas opened his mouth to respond but one look at his mother and he decided against it, "LUCAS…get dressed and don't make me tell you again." Karen had every intention of letting Lucas skip school today but for reasons unknown to her, the moment she walked into his room she knew he had to go. Maybe it was because she knew Brooke would be there or maybe it was because she knew Lucas wanted so desperately to talk to her. But whatever it was it didn't make sense unless maybe…just maybe fate had a different plan.

------------

Peyton's House 

"Damn Peyton you look like shit " said Nathan as Peyton proceeded to walk down the stairs.

"Nathan!" yelled Haley

"That's it I'm going back upstairs."

All of a sudden Nathan felt a hand upside his head "Good going jackass."

"Ouch! Haley what was for?"

Haley looked towards Peyton's retrieving form heading up the stairs. He finally caught on, "oh, umm…Peyton I was just messing with you. You look great. Come back"

Peyton turned around and said sarcastically "Yea whatever lets get this over with already. I can tell this is going to be a _wonderful_ day."

"Come on my beautiful ladies. Lets get to school."

The car ride to school was uneventful and very quiet. Having had enough of the silent Haley turned towards Nathan, "Lets pick up Lucas. I have a feeling he could use his friends right now."

"Now? Haley its already 8 o'clock if we pick up Lucas we'll be late."

"Ok Mr. Being ten minutes late doesn't make us tardy."

Laughing Nathan responded, "Ok, ok we'll pick him up. But just so you know being 10 minutes late isn't tardy. You're only tardy if you're 12 minutes late isn't that right Peyton."

Peyton had stopped listening to the 'happily' married couple from the minute they started talking; she just wasn't in the conversation mood. "Huh? What? I didn't hear you."

"Don't worry about it Peyton. Nathan was just being stupid like always."

"Hey I take offense to that. I'm not always stupid." _It's nice that Haley and me can fall back into the couple mood so easily and so fast._

"Aww did I hurt my poor baby's feelings?"

Nodding his head Nathan said "Yes but I know a way you can make it better."

"Ewwwww! I'm still here can you please stop that?"

"Oh we're sorry Pey. Aren't we Nathan?"

"Yup really sorry."

Peyton rolled her eyes and went back to looking out the window when she noticed where they were going. "Haley why are we going to Lucas's?"

"We're giving him a ride to school" replied Nathan.

"Haley!"

"Peyton I'm sorry but you know he going to be upset since you told Brooke last night

and –"

"What? You told Brooke last night?" interrupted Nathan.

Peyton shook her head 'yes'.

"Well how did she take it?" asked Nathan.

"Well she run out of my room if that tells you anything."

"That good, huh?"

"Yea that good. Look Nathan I know that Lucas is your brother and he's your best friend Haley but can we please not pick him up today" pleaded Peyton.

"Yea we don't -"

"Sorry Peyton but Nathan already told him we would take him. Isn't that right?" said Haley.

"Umm…yea sorry Pey."

Nathan whispered under his breath "I hope you know what you are doing."

--------

Outside Lucas's House 

"I'll go get him, be right back" said Haley as she jumped out the car and ran to the door.

_Knock, knock. _"Luke open up! Its me."

Luke opened the door and said, "Hey come on in."

"How are you?" asked Haley although by the looks of him not very well. His eyes were blood shot red and it looked like he had been up all night crying.

"I'm assuming you know, huh?"

"Yea Peyton told me this morning. Are you okay?"

_Of course she did,_ thought Lucas. _Did she also tell you that she never wants to see either of us again?_ "She hates me Haley…" a solitarily tear fell down his cheek.

Haley ran towards her best friend and eloped him in a big bear hug, "No she doesn't Luke. She's just angry. "

"No…I hurt her too much. She won't even pick up her phone and I've been calling it all night." _It was all happening too fast. Last night we were so happy and in love and now Brooke is moving to California just to get away from me_. As much as he wanted too, he couldn't stop the tears from coming. His heart was breaking and it was the most horrible feeling in the world.

"When she's ready to talk, she'll come to you." _Right?_

"I wish you were right but I don't think so…she's moving Haley."

"What? Moving? Where?" _No it wasn't supposed to happen like this._

"To California with her parents. My mom called her mom last night apparently Brooke wants to be as far way from me as possible…. My mom knows where she is Haley and she won't tell me. I can't even tell her goodbye," whispered Lucas. _Do you have any idea how it feels to know that the person you love more than anything is leaving and it may possibly be the last time you see her? Now try dealing with that and the reality that there is not a damn thing you can do about it. I can't tell her that I'm sorry. I can't tell her that I never meant to hurt because when she hurts, I hurt. I can't even tell her goodbye. _

"Oh Lucas…"

"I miss her. She slipping away and I don't know what to do." _This can't be the end of us. It just isn't possible. Not after everything _

What could she say? Nothing would stop Brooke from leaving not if her mind was made up and from what Lucas was saying, it was. But there just had to be something she could do, if only she could talk to her somehow. Make her understand that it was a mistake and they never intended to hurt her. Brooke would probably be closed off and icy but Haley had to at least try because things were bad. In fact things were horrible and they getting worst by the minute and even she was having trouble believing it would all be all right in the end.

"Just don't give up on her Lucas. Fight for her."

"How Haley she's leaving?" _How am I supposed to fight for her if I don't even know where she is?_

"Don't worry we'll think of something but for now we need to get to school. Come on we'll give you a ride." _First thing to do: figure out where Brooke is staying and I know exactly who can help me. _

-------------

"I know your wife means well Nathan but right now I don't want to see Lucas," said Peyton.

"Well Haley is never wrong so if she thinks you and Lucas should talk she's probably right," replied Nathan all the while thinking that maybe Haley should stay out of B/L/P love triangle.

"Look if I want to talk to Luke I will. This has nothing to do with her."

Nathan's face soften, "She loves you Peyton, she's only doing what she thinks is best."

Closing her eyes, Peyton responded, "I know okay but I just told Brooke last night. I can't deal with him right now."

"Well its looks like you don't have much of a choice."

Peyton followed his hand as he pointed to Lucas and Haley walking down the driveway "Just great!" she yelled.

Opening the door, Luke noticed that Peyton was in the car, "Pey…Peyton!"

"Hey Lucas" whispered Peyton.

"Lucas hurry up and get in the car. Its cold out here you know," shouted Haley.

"Oh yea, sure. Sorry Hales."

Getting in and shutting the door quickly, Haley rubbed her hands together attempting to get warm.

"Haley you've been crying. What's wrong?" asked Nathan.

Haley looked towards Lucas wondering whether or not if was her place to tell, "Don't worry Hales. They were going to find out sooner or later," said Lucas as he turned to look at the window.

Peyton looked from Haley to Lucas and back to Haley again. What ever it was, it wasn't good she thought. "Find out what?"

Haley blurted out, "Brooke is moving to California." Almost immediately Peyton's eyes welled up with tears." Peyton, sweetie I'm sorry. I didn't mean to blurt it out like that," explained Haley.

"She's leaving?" Peyton cried. She couldn't be leaving. Brooke wasn't one to run away, she thought.

All Haley could do was nod her head "But I thought she would clam down…we could talk" muttered Peyton.

"How do you know?" asked Nathan a little too harshly.

"My mom talked to Brooke's mom last night. She leaves today sometime. I don't know much more than that," said Lucas while still looking out the window.

"No! She just can't leave. I haven't gotten a chance to explain…to tell her that I am sorry," cried Peyton.

"Well I think it's a little too late for that."

Haley grasped, "Nathan!"

"Look Haley I'm sorry but Brooke is my friend and now she's leaving and it's because of those two dumb asses in the back sit."

Haley was shocked that Nathan could be so insensitive "Nathan please you're not helping here."

"I don't need a lecture from saint Scott," yelled Lucas.

"I never wanted her to leave, Nathan. I never meant for any of this to happen." I don't want her to leave. I need her! She's my best friend, thought Peyton.

Looking in the rearview mirror, Nathan saw the broken look on Peyton's face and he instantly regretted his harsh words but he was angry. Brooke was leaving probably for good and he couldn't do anything about it "I'm sorry Peyton. I shouldn't have said that. You too Luke."

Looking towards Lucas, Peyton whispered loud enough for him to hear, "Oh god Lucas what have we done?"

All Lucas could say was, "I don't know. I really don't know, Peyton."

_tbc..._

_review please! lol_

_-Meredith_


	11. This Is Now, That Was Then

**Chapter 11) This Is Now, That Was Then**

_Brooke's POV:_

_I can do this. I'm a strong woman. I just have to remember that I won't ever have to set foot in Lucas's house again. I don't even have to see him I know Karen and she'll make him go to school. Who am I kidding, why wouldn't he be at school? Its not like he has any reason not to be there. In fact the whole gang is probably laughing it up. I mean it's not everyday you pull something over on Brooke Davis. Oh wait, it is. This isn't the first time I have been completely blind when it comes to Pucas. Pucas, now doesn't that sound nice? I think so; it reminds me of what I want to do every time I think of Lucas and Peyton together, puke! I can feel it coming on now. When I think of all the things he said to me, of what happened in the eraser room. No wondered he didn't want to have sex me. He was screwing Peyton on the side. He was probably going to break the news to me but noooo I had to go and tell him I loved him. He just felt sorry for me but what I don't get, what I don't understand is why did he tell me he loved me. Of all the things to say why did it have to be that?_

Brooke was putting up a good front on the outside but on the inside she was broken. She still couldn't grasp what had happened; in fact she really didn't understand it at all. Yes, things were complicated when it came to her and Lucas but she thought that they had finally figured things out and that the only thing left was to be together. Coming back to Tree Hill had been an act of faith and trust on her part. She had finally been ready to give Lucas another try, to give their love a second chance. But only if she had known that she was coming home to a bigger lie than the one she left behind. How was she supposed to trust either one of them again? They had betrayed her in the worst possible way. She wanted nothing more than to forgive Lucas but it wasn't that simple. He broke her heart, again and this time she wasn't sure there was anything left to fix.

Using the key that Karen kept under the mat in case of emergencies Brooke let herself in house that over time had become her home.

From the moment she opened the kitchen door she was hit with a memory making her wish that she hadn't come after all…

_"Hey Cinderella…you hanging in there?"_

_"I take it you've heard."_

_"Yea well my mom can crack the whip."_

_"I can't believe she actually grounded me. I thought she liked me."_

_"Ohhh Brooke she does like you…hey she cares enough about you to ground you. So what number you up to…3?_

_"4! Mop the kitchen floor."_

_"And you're using a sponge?"_

_"Is that wrong?"_

_"Ohhh…okay Brooke this is a mop. Look I tell you what, alright you take the evens and I'll take the odds and bet we can bust this out in like half hour."_

_"Thanks Luke."_

_"Anything for you."_

Shaking her head Brooke screamed, " No! I don't want to remember any of this. It's too painful." But she couldn't help what her heart was trying so badly to tell her.

_We were so happy then why did it have to change? None of this would have happened if I hadn't gone to California this is my entire fault. If I hadn't left I wouldn't have pushed him back into her arms and instead of being miserable I might actually be happy. But I didn't know…I didn't know he still had feelings for her, I swear it. If I had I wouldn't have left. But I had to get out of here things between us were happening too fast. I mean we just barely became friends again and then out of the blue he tells me he wants to be with me. Did he really expect me to do anything else but run? My feelings for him were very vulnerable and so intense. How was I supposed to trust those feelings when they were so blind to what really was happening before? I never once suspected Lucas and Peyton while we were dating. I had insecurities, yes but I never actually thought they were together. How could I, she was my best friend and I was in-love with him. God how wrong I had been…then and now._

This was definitely a bad idea, Brooke thought to herself. She had not even been in the house for five minutes before the first memory hit. She was almost afraid to go in Lucas's room. It held too many memories, memories she wasn't ready to face. You have to go in there, she thought. This is what you came for, to get your stuff and then get on a plane and never step foot in Tree Hill again. Think of all the wonderful cloths and jewelry you would be leaving behind.

She slowly opened the door but she was not prepared for what she saw. It was like she was watching a movie. She was there and so was Lucas, they were happy. It was when they first started dating before Peyton ever happened…

_"So I had an idea."_

_"Okay"_

_"Remember when I read that Steinbrook book?"_

_"Steinbeck..."_

_"Yea that guy and then you did something I wanted."_

_"Oh Yea, yea getting drunk, tattooed, and grounded."_

_"But in a fun way…I'm thinking we should try that again."_

_"Okay you might want to run that by Keith first."_

_"Not exactly that I just…I wanna know everything about you and I want you to know almost everything about me."_

_"What's going on Brooke?"_

_"Nothing…I wanna know you better Luke. So how bout the next time you do something you love you bring me along and then we trade…are you busy after practice tomorrow?"_

_"Yea…I have a date with you."_

Coming back to realityBrooke lovely traced her fingers on the bed. The same bed that her and Lucas first made love in or at least it was love on her part. She had found out later on that it hadn't been on his but the memory was still fresh in her mind and in her heart. She still remembered what it felt like to be touched and kiss by him. There was only one-way to describe it, pure bliss…

_"I'm not sure if we have a problem or if I have a problem."_

_"What's the problem?"_

_"In a nutshell you're you and I'm me."_

_"Yea but if I was you, well then you would be dating yourself."_

_"What I mean is, I do what I do and I like what I like. That's just who I am."_

_"I know…that's what I love about you."_

_"Ok but the music that you listen too and the books that you read. I'm not into any of that stuff-"_

_"And I never asked you to be, okay? I mean I kind of enjoy the fact that we're different."_

_"Okay…I'm sorry. It's just that you're the first really great guy that I've ever dated and that really scares me because I never gave a rat's ass before…okay? But I do now."_

_"That's good cause um…I give a rat's ass about you too."_

_After the heart-to-heart on the porch Lucas led Brooke into his room where he gently, lovingly laid her down on the bed, never once breaking eye contract. "I want to make love to you Brooke." She was scared, in all the times she had, had sex never once had she made love. Was it done differently? "I…I don't know how Lucas. Can you teach me?" she whispered. He knew she was asking much more than how to make love, she was asking him how to love. "How bout we teach each other?" he whispered back._

_There were too many emotions seeking there way through Brooke's wall around heart, that all she could manage was a nod and a smile. Lucas taking that as a yes, slowly unbuttoned his shirt, letting it fall from his shoulders onto the floor. He reached for his belt buckle but Brooke stopped him, "Let me…" Her small, soft, cold hands undressed him from the waist down._

_It wasn't the first time she had ever undressed a man but it was the first time she was doing it out of love. She reached for his boxers but Lucas stopped her, "Are you sure…I mean there's no turning back." Brooke knew instantly what he meant, "I want you Lucas…I want us" she whispered. Satisfied with her answer Lucas let her continue undressing him. Brooke slowly slipped his boxers off. She had seen him naked before but tonight it was different. He was beautiful and all mine, she thought. She reached out to touch him but was distracted by his lips attacking hers._

_They were devouring her, tasting her, licking her and silently asking for entrance into ecstasy. She opened her mouth and he dove in. Their tongues touched and they were both lost._

_"Undress me Lucas," muttered Brooke. Resting his hands on her stomach for a moment longer, he slowly pushed her blouse up and over her head throwing in on the floor next to his pants. Sitting up a little Brooke unclipped her bra but it was Lucas who removed it from her body. His voice caught in his throat as her breasts bounced free. He looked at the angel in front of him. "You're breathtaking…"he whispered._

_His hands tenderly cupped her breasts using his thumb and forefinger to gently squeeze her already aroused nipples. She couldn't help but moan out loud. Needing to touch him, to affect him like he was affecting her, Brooke spread her hands across his chest getting lost in the feel of him. He was perfect, hard and soft in all the right places._

_Her cute, little hands were driving him insane and stoke by stoke testing his self-control. Her fingers stilled at his sharp intake of breath, she misunderstood, "Don't stop…" he muttered. She smiled and continued her exploration of Lucas's body until she was sure he was going to explode._

_Pinning her hands above her head Lucas, starting with her mouth, kissed his way down until he came to her jeans. Looking up he asked her with his eyes if she was sure, "take them off…please," she mumbled. He unsnapped the button and with his teeth slowly unzipped her jeans. He pulled them, along with her panties down the length of her body._

_She's flawless, he thought. Nothing about her was wrong, everything was right…so right. His fingertips traced her bellybutton, resulting in a giggling Brooke. "Goodness I love it when you do that," he whispered while kissing his way up her body. His hands stoked her inner thighs while his mouth lick and tasted her breasts. His hands hesitated._

_Brooke knew what he wanted but she also knew that he wouldn't do it himself so she guided Lucas's hand to her womanly folds and let them lingered there. But they didn't linger long. He slowly stoked her most intimate part and it wasn't long before Brooke was begging for him for more, "Godddd…Luke…inside! Please go inside" Her eyes rolled back in her head when she felt his finger slip inside. "Ohhhhhh…god" she screamed. Her hands were griping the sheets on either side of her and her legs were rocking back and forth. She wasn't sure how much more she could take. "Lucas…please! I need you…"_

_Feeling his control diminishing, Lucas reached across the bed in his nightstand grabbing a condom. He took it out of the package his hands were shaking as he went to put it on but Brooke stopped him, "Let me…" She slowly rolled it on. Lucas moaned in delight._

_Flipping her over so he was on top, Lucas entered her in one sure thrust. Brooke grasped from the forcefulness of it but not in pain, in pleasure. "Oh goodness…"she moaned. "I know…don't move" he whispered back. Getting a little anxiety Brooke started moving and Lucas met her thrust for thrust…_

He was so gentle that night, so loving, and when he was inside her, she had never been so close to heaven. Looking back I guess it really was too good to be true but that night I wanted so desperately to trust that Lucas cared about me. It was hard to believe otherwise but you can't deny the truth…for long thought Brooke. It wasn't until later, right after his accident to be exact; that she found out he was messing around with Peyton behind her back. She had come over to check on him cause she was worried; imagine her surprised when she saw Peyton and him making out on the web cam. At first she was angry but once reality set in she was so hurt. She didn't want to believe that the two people she cared most about would betray her but she didn't have a say in the matter. Just like she didn't have a say in the fact that Lucas and Peyton had sex and now were expecting a baby. All the dreams and wishes she had for Lucas and their future together were dead and gone and it torn her up just thinking about it.

She lingered on his bed for one second too long and before Brooke could stop herself her head was on his pillow. Desperately trying to inhale his scent, to summon his love for her just one last time. But the voice in her head got to her first, _His love? Don't you mean his love for Peyton! Remember Peyton the mother of his unborn child._

Brooke's fragile body collapsed in pain-wrenching sobs. Each sob was louder and longer than the last. If anyone had been listening they would have heard Brooke whispering through her tears. _"Why? Why Lucas? Why wasn't I enough?"_ Afterwards, Brooke was physical and emotional exhausted. Her life was over she thought. I lost Lucas; I lost my best friend it was time to move on…

But could she really leave the only home she has ever known? Brooke wasn't so sure.

_Do I really even want to leave or do I just feel like I have too? I mean neither one of them is leaving why should I? Its not like they're together, right?_

But what if they get together, the nagging voice in her head said. I mean after all they are going to be having a baby.

_God a baby! I still can't believe they would be so careless…so self-centered to not use protection…_

Maybe they were only thinking about how much they needed one another, the voice said again.

_Needed one another? Oh god I think I'm going to be sick._

Brook ran to the bathroom managing to make it just in enough time before the contents of stomach came rushing out which wasn't much considering she hadn't eaten since she found out.

When it was over she rested her head on the edge of the toilet "that's why you're leaving", she whispered. "Because you won't made it here if you stay."

But if Brooke was being honest with herself she would have admitted that the real reason she was leaving was because she didn't think she could bare to see Lucas and Peyton together.

"What am I going to do? How am I ever going to get over this?" she whispered. "God how can I forgive something like that?" _Because you love him, her heart cried. When you love someone you can forgive them anything._ "Well not this time…not this way! It's too hard this time. I have to go…to leave."

Brooke picked herself up and ran as fast as she could out the house not once looking back. She had finally accepted the reality of it all. She couldn't pretend any longer. What was happening to her was real, Peyton being pregnant was real, and her pain was real.

Brooke was home free until she remembered her clothes. Screw the clothes I can buy new ones she thought as she started her car. But what about your records, the voice in her head reasoned. You'll have to come all the way back if you don't get them now.

"Damn it!" she screamed.

She quickly made a u-turn through her tears, which made it almost impossible for her to see the road let alone drive. _Just calm down Brooke and goodness's sake stop crying. Its 11o'clock now, you can be there and back by 12:30 if you hurry…now dry it up, put on the famous Brooke Davis smile, and don't give Pucas anymore of your thought…besides what's the worst thing that can happen?_

Little did she know the worst was about to happen.

---------------

_tbc…_

_Thanks to all those who review and/or read! _

_1st flashback: 2:18 The Lonesome Road_

_2nd & 3rd flashback: 1:11 The Living Years_


	12. Goodbye

_This chapter is dedicated to Mon, for talking me into updating tonight:D_

**Chapter 12) Goodbye **

Everyone is looking at me like I'm the biggest slut in the world. If they only knew…I've only slept with three guys. But they don't know that, all they know and all they care about is that I slept with Lucas Scott, the most beloved cheerleader's boyfriend, and that I'm pregnant. The girls whisper about me behind my back, the guys make nasty comments when they think I can't hear, and I just sit here taking it all. I deserve it. I mean I slept with my best friend's boyfriend, you can't get any lower then that right? Haley says it will pass over but I don't think so, not when they find out that Brooke is leaving. She's really leaving…I still can't believe it. She won't pick up her phone. Not that I blame her, but I want to explain. I've tried calling her mom but all I got from Mrs. Davis was a 'Don't call here again, Peyton.' I guess I deserve that too. Ring, Ring…oh joy its time for lunch.

Picking up her books Peyton headed towards to cafeteria. Grabbing her oh-so-favorite macaroni surprise, she went in search of somewhere to sit. She looked around the cafeteria looking for a friendly face but instead her eyes landed on Lucas. Usually his eyes were friendly but today they were just cold.

I guess he blames me too, she thought.

Peyton paused for a moment, trying to focus on something other than Lucas's Lucas' cold eyes and she almost succeeded until a freshman yelled, "Hey blondie, I hear you're pregnant and the daddy wants nothing to do you!"

The whole student body laughed. It was on the tip of her tongue to make a scathing reply but she didn't instead she walked over to the table and dumped the entire contents of her lunch on the freshman's head. "Funny 'cause I heard the same thing about your daddy."

Say what you want but you won't make me hate myself anymore than I already do.

With her head held high Peyton walked right passed Lucas Scott and his pitying eyes and straight out the cafeteria doors.

She wasn't halfway down the hallway before she heard her name being called. Knowing who it was, she continued on her way.

"Peyton, stop please," he yelled again.

"Lucas, just leave me alone. It's not like she said something that wasn't true. You don't want anything to do with this baby or with me, which is fine. We don't need you, I can raise this baby on my own," yelled Peyton angrily, but if she was being honest with herself she was scared.

"Look, would you just stop! Please!" yelled Lucas.

She turned around, her hair bouncing from shoulder to shoulder. "Why should I?"

"Because we need to talk," He felt bad for Peyton. The girl in the cafeteria was a bitch.

Talking with you is the last thing I want to do, she thought. "Lucas just leave it alone."

"Peyton." He paused. "I'm sorry about what happened back there."

Laughing, Peyton responded, "If you're so sorry then why didn't you say something when it was happening?"

"She surprised me…" He trailed off.

"Nice one Luke," Peyton said sarcastically. She tried to walk away but Lucas blocked her way "Move! I'm so not in the mood for this right now."

Lucas tried to explain. "I'm sorry Peyton…I was caught off guard. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Peyton signed, "You didn't hurt me."

"Oh." Lucas turned to leave, not sure what else there was say.

"Lucas, wait," Peyton's voice stopped him.

He turned to look at her but wished he hadn't when he realized she was crying "Are you okay?"

Peyton shook her head, "Have you heard from Brooke?"

Lucas looked down and said softly "She won't pick up the phone."

"Me either. I've been trying all morning." I have to talk to her, before it's too late.

"Do you think she'll ever talk to us again?" asked Lucas.

"Would you?" Peyton's voice broke.

Lucas thought for a moment, "No I guess not. We really screwed up."

Peyton's body shook with emotion. She was exhausted. She hadn't slept or eaten in the last three days. She couldn't think of anything else. "You're just now noticing that…" she sobbed.

He hated seeing girls cry. Ever since he was little, hearing or seeing a girl cry broke his heart. "Peyton don't cry. Please I don't know what to do." He tried to offer her comfort but he wasn't sure it was welcome. He didn't want this to get back to Brooke. "Hold on I'll get Haley."

"No don't get Haley" cried Peyton.

Lucas was confused; he thought the girls had gotten closer over the summer. "But Haley can help-."

"No, Haley" Trying to find the right words, she continued, "…she'll just try to tell me everything will be alright and I know it won't."

He was having a hard time believing Haley's words too "She means well Peyton. She just thinks everything will work out even when there's no hope left."

"So you agree with me there is no hope left."

Looking away so that she wouldn't see his face Lucas said, "There's hope left. We just have to believe that she'll give us another chance."

Through her tears she managed to say, "I can't help it. I miss her. I don't want her to leave."

Lucas murmured, "Me either." He hung his head in defeat.

Neither said anything as they stood there thinking about Brooke. Finally Lucas broke the silence. "Do you have any idea where she might be?"

Peyton shook her head. "When she's upset she usually comes to me." Her face clenched in pain and she lowered her head into her hands. "I can't believe this is happening," she cried.

Lucas took a step towards her, debating once again, whether or not to hold her. His head was telling him it was a bad idea but his heart was telling him it was the right thing to do. It wasn't long before his heart won. But at the exact moment his arms closed around Peyton, Brooke decided to walk out of the front office.

Peyton was grateful for the support.

Lucas went completely still. "Brooke…she's here" he whispered. Peyton stirred in his arms, confused. "What?" she asked.

"Brooke's here" he repeated.

Brooke looked at Lucas. Lucas looked at Brooke. It was as if time was standing still. Neither one of them could see anything other than themselves. But all too quickly Brooke noticed the blonde girl in his arms. Her eyes went to Peyton who was now by Lucas's side, with a look of utter shock and confusion.

Lucas could always tell what Brooke was thinking just by looking at her eyes. They gave her away and right now her eyes were clouded over with breathtaking pain and something that could only be described as fury.

-------------------

Brooke walked down the hall with her head held high, with every intention of walking silently past her former best friend and boyfriend. She'd almost made it when she felt his hand pull her back.

Brooke jerked away from Lucas as if she'd been burned. She spoke between clenched teeth, "Don't touch me."

"Brooke it isn't what you think-"he tried to explain.

"Yeah Brooke he was just comforting me" said Peyton.

She laughed humorlessly. "Kind of like what he did this summer, right?"

"No! No, some girl was just being mean and Lucas was checking on me. That's all I swear," Peyton explained.

"Tell me Peyton, you too Lucas. Why should I believe anything that comes out your mouth?"

"Peyton is telling the truth. The hug didn't mean anything," said Lucas.

"Whatever. It's not like we're together. You don't owe me an explanation."

Lucas tilted his head to the side, "I want to explain…we want to explain what happened this summer, Brooke-"

"Spare me the details. I don't want to be ill," she snapped. She looked from Lucas to Peyton. "I really hope you both burn in hell for what you've done."

Lucas moved towards her. "I'm so sorry that I hurt you…I love you Brooke," he whispered.

At that moment the only sound that could be heard in the hallway was the sound of Brooke slapping Lucas. "You don't have the right to say that to me. Not anymore."

Lucas put his hand to his stinging cheek and looking into her eyes said, "I hope you know how sorry I am and whether you believe it or not I do love you." He could feel the tears welling up in his eyes; she had finally given up on them. On him. The physical pain was actually a much-needed distraction from the emotional pain he felt.

"Stop saying that. You don't mean it. You never did. Peyton is the one -"

Lucas interrupted her, "No Brooke. I know you think that I love Peyton…and, and I do but only in a friend way. You're the one I want. I'm in love with you."

Laughing bitterly, Brooke responded, "The one you want? Please! The only person you want it is Peyton and I was too blind to see it before but I'm not now." Looking from Lucas to Peyton Brooke whispered, "You two made sure of that."

"I don't want her. I want you. I love you," cried Lucas.

"No! You don't love me cause if you did, you wouldn't had sex with my best friend, and you two sure as hell wouldn't be expecting a baby!" she screamed.

------

Haley was drumming her fingers on the table wondering what was taking Peyton and Lucas so long when she noticed the mass of people that were now forming around the cafeteria doors. "What's going on?"

Nathan noticing the crowd too, looked towards Haley. "Let's go check it out."

Hand in hand, the couple walked over and almost immediately heard yelling.

It sounded like there was an argument in the hall, Nathan thought. Pushing past his classmates, he finally got to the entrance of the hallway and murmured, "Brooke..."

Confused, Haley pushed Nathan out of the way so she could see, "Brooke's here…" she said.

Smiling, Nathan complained. "Ouch, Haley! Gosh do you have to be so physical?"

"Nathan stop playing around!" Haley laughed in response.

Rolling his eyes at his wife, Nathan pretended to pout. "You're no fun!"

"Okay, okay I get it but can you please stop it?" Not waiting for an answer Haley turned back towards the hallway. "What do you think we should do?"

Snickering, Nathan answered, "Personally, I think we should let Brooke kick their asses but hey, that's just me."

Rolling her eyes, Haley muttered more to herself than anyone else, "Men! Can't live with them and you can't kill them or whatever."

"What's that Haley?" asked a grinning Nathan.

"Oh never mind but we seriously have to think of something to do and fast."

"Haley, I know you want to help but I don't think you can. Lucas and Peyton got themselves into this mess let them clean it up themselves."

Letting Nathan's words sink in, Haley tried to reason with herself to stay out of it. After all it didn't have anything to do with her, but Luke was her best friend and Peyton had grown to mean so much to her; she just couldn't sit back and let their lives be destroyed. "I know you don't understand but I have to help them Nathan. He's my best friend and Peyton has been there for me all summer. Now it's my turn."

Nathan sighed "Ok Haley. What do you want me to do?"

"Okay here's the plan, you use your tough boy act and I'll do the innocent act and lets give them some privacy," said Haley

Nathan nodded and they both went to work. After much begging on Haley's part and lots of threats on Nathan's part they managed to get the majority of students out of earshot. There were a few that refused to move, indifferent to Nathan's and Haley's pleading to do so.

------

"Brooke please calm down…people are looking" Peyton whispered dreadfully, trying to take the spot light off herself.

"I don't give a damn. Let them look. They should know what a slut you are." Brooke leant over and looked passed Lucas and gleefully shouted, "I'll be careful with your boyfriends girls Peyton here, doesn't know how to keep her legs shut."

Shaking her head, Peyton whispered, "No! Stop it! It wasn't like that."

Snorting, Brooke asked, "What was it like then Peyton. Huh? Did it feel good? Did you enjoy it?"

"Stop it! Please just stop it," she whispered again.

"Brooke leave her along, ok? If you want to be mad at someone than be mad at me," Lucas interrupted.

"Don't. You. Dare. Stick up for her, Lucas Scott. Don't you dare," snapped Brooke.

"I'm not sticking up for her Brooke. I'm just saying that if you want to mad at someone then be mad at me," explained Lucas.

"Well isn't this sweet, Lucas Scott defending his woman. Tell me Lucas how did it feel to be inside her? Was she good? Better than me?"

"Why are you doing this?" Lucas asked softly, pain evident in his voice.

Tearing up Brooke sobbed, "Why am I doing this Lucas? I'm not doing this, you're the one that slept with Peyton…"

"I know, okay? I messed up, again. And I hurt you but I never meant too, Brooke."

"That doesn't really matter, Lucas. You hurt me. You always do."

"Brooke if you could just-" explained Peyton.

"If I could just what Peyton? Pretend that you two didn't sleep together? Pretend you're not pregnant? Pretend that your clothes aren't tight? Pretend that your stomach…" She paused, searching for the right words. "I swear to God Peyton I will never forgive you. Never!" cried Brooke.

Peyton didn't even try to stop the tears from falling. "I'm so sorry Brooke. I know that I kept saying that but I'm going to keep saying it until you believe me. We've been best friends since we were little girls, you know me better than anyone."

"NO! I don't know you because the Peyton I know wouldn't sleep with my boyfriend. "God…to think I trusted you." She looked towards Lucas and whispered painfully, "Both of you."

"I am sorry Brooke. If I took take it back I would but I can't and I have to live with that for the rest of my life" said Peyton.

"Well I know one thing that you won't have to deal with anymore. ME! I hope you three have a nice life together," snapped Brooke.

Lucas sobered, half in hope and half in defeat, "You are my life, Brooke."

Brooke turned away so they wouldn't see the tears that were burning on her cheeks, "I can't do this. I have to go…to…to my hotel."

She tried to push her way through the few students left behind but Lucas pulled her back once again, "Brooke please don't leave. Stay here in Tree Hill. With me. I need you."

His voice was cracking with emotion and for a moment Brooke didn't want to leave but then she remembered why she had too. Shaking her head Brooke whispered, "I can't Lucas…let me go, please."

Maybe it was the way she said it or maybe it was the pain that he saw in her eyes but at that moment Lucas knew that he had to her go. He owed her that. Lucas tenderly squeezed her arm, his way of telling her goodbye, and then he gradually let her go. "I love you," he whispered.

She ran. Past her classmates, past Nathan, past Haley, past everyone. She couldn't stop. She didn't want to see the pity that she knew would be in their eyes if she did. She vaguely remembered hearing Haley calling her name but she didn't stop.

Just get to your car, Brooke. After that you'll be okay. They can't hurt you there. No one can, she thought. Just stay calm. Everything is going to be okay once you get to California. You'll have a new life, new friends, maybe even a new boyfriend.

Taking one last look, at the home she never thought she would be leaving, Brooke whispered, "Goodbye Lucas."

--------------------

_tbc..._

_ok so there you have it! i wanna thank **Cari** for being a wonderful beta! this story would totally be lost without her._

_-Meredith :D_


	13. The Lonely Road We All Take

**Chapter 13) The Lonely Road We All Take**

"Excuse me miss, would you like something to drink?"

Brooke looked up, confused "Wh…What?" she asked.

"A drink? Would you like one, madam?" asked the flight attendant again.

Shaking her head, she said softly, "No. No, thank you."

Brooke could do little else at the moment but think about what she was leaving behind. Was she making the right decision? She wanted desperately to believe that she was but she felt so guilty and unbelievable lonely. In less than twenty-four hours, she had lost her home, her friends, the only boy she ever loved and in some ways, her innocence. Not the kind of sexual innocence that can be lost so easily, but the kind that changes your life. The loss that questions your ability to trust others and yourself. The loss that stays with you forever, the loss that turns your heart cold and hard. The kind of loss you can't return from.

"My mother used to say, the best way to get over someone was to get under someone else."

Brooke looked to the churchgoing, cookie-baking, elderly lady seated next to her. "What do you-"

The old lady raised her hand to ward off her denial. "I know heartache when I see it."

Brooke turned in her seat to face the lady. "It's that obvious, huh?" she asked with a sad smile.

"Yes, but not as obvious as that woman over there, who thinks being pregnant means it's still okay to wear tube tops."

Laughing, Brooke suggested, "Maybe she thinks she looks good?"

"Pssh! Please, she wouldn't look good in that shirt even if she weren't pregnant. Some women just don't know when to accept that they are getting older and therefore can't dress like they did when they were teenagers."

"I think that shirt stopped looking good on anyone a year ago. It's so last season."

"So you like fashion? Good girl. My granddaughter is at some design school in New York. She loves it."

Shrugging Brooke said, "I guess. It has been so long since I actually thought about it at all." She paused. "I used to think up these beautiful dresses and skirts and my best friend, Peyton she would-" she stopped mid-sentence, overcome with emotion.

"You know, sweetie, sometimes things happen in life that we can't undo. All you can really do is hope that in the end things will be as they were meant to."

Brooke with tears silently falling down her cheeks looked towards the aisle, not wanting the lady to see her tears. Shaking her head, she said, "I know," before swallowing hard. "But sometimes those things can break your heart."

Sensing her tears and her need for privacy, the old lady gently patted Brooke's shoulder. "Honey, I know that you don't know me but maybe it would help if you talked about it."

Turning back around, she nodded. "I'm Brooke." Brooke extended her hand but instead she was enveloped in a hug.

"Nice to meet you, Brooke. I'm Bernice, but everyone calls me Nana."

Smiling, Brooke confessed, "I never really had a grandmother before or a mother I guess. My father is what you would call a workaholic and my mother is his trophy. They aren't really around for me much but that was always okay because I had Peyton. She was my family. We were hoes over bros. Us against the world and it worked for us. Her mom died when we were young and her father was always out at sea, working. All we had were each other until-"

She took a deep breath and continued, "Until Lucas Scott came into our lives. He was so different from all the guys that I've dated, from all the guys Peyton had dated. He was so sweet, so innocent and I liked him. The only problem was that she liked him too. To make a long story short Lucas and I started dating, they hooked up behind my back, I found out and it was like World War III. I don't know how but I forgave them and everything was good for a while. Peyton and I were close again, she even started seeing this guy named Jake, and Lucas and I were finally just friends. But then my father got fired and all of a sudden we were moving to California. Lucas's mother convinced my mother that I should finish the school year in Tree Hill. So I moved in with them and went from being just friends with Lucas to falling in love with him."

"Bitten by the love bug. I dare say that you sure are lucky. Most girls only fall in love once but you've fallen twice and with the same boy", declared Nana.

Laughing softly, Brooke whispered, "I guess." She paused. "You know the thing that I loved most about him was that he got me. No one has ever gotten me. And it was amazing to be understood completely. I never had to explain myself or what I did, it was like he just knew."

Her eyes twinkling Nana said, "Honey that's called being soul mates."

Shaking her head no Brooke explained, "I don't think so."

"Listen to Nana, Brooke. I'm usually right about these things."

Brooke whispered, "You don't understand."

She reached up to wipe her tears with her forefingers when Nana handed her a tissue, "Here honey."

Taking it gladly she responded "Thanks."

Padding her hands on her thighs Nana declared, "You know what you need to do Brooke? You need to talk to this boy. Tell him how you feel."

"That would be hard since I never want to see him again" Brooke said miserably.

"Never let anger stand in the way of love. Love doesn't wait around forever."

Snickering, Brooke muttered, "You're right about that."

Sensing that something else had yet to be said Nana asked quietly, "Do you want to tell me the rest? You don't have to."

"No, no I want to tell you. I need to say it out loud."

Nana nodded.

"My mother agreed to let me stay for the rest of the school year but only if I agreed to spend the summer in California. So on my last day in Tree Hill, Lucas confessed that he loves me and that what happened with Peyton was nothing more than a mistake. It was too good to be true and completely unexpected. Maybe I shouldn't have left the way I did but I didn't know what else to do and while I missed him I really needed to figure things out. So I spent the summer in California and he spent it in Tree Hill. When I got back I told him that I loved him and I wanted us to try again. He said he felt the same way." Brooke takes a deep breathe, debating whether or not she should continue.

Nana laid her hand on top of Brooke's squeezing it gently. Softy she said, "Go on, honey."

Brooke nodded. "It was nice for awhile. I got a phone call later that night from Peyton. She's crying, asking me to come over. I was so scared for her. I didn't know what to think, I just needed to get to her. So I woke Lucas up and he drove me over. I get there and I can barely understand what she's saying. She's crying so hard …," she paused in attempt to calm herself. It wasn't easy for her to remember the worst night of her live.

Nana urged her to carry on. "So you get there and she's crying."

Through her tears, Brooke continued, "I tried to get her to talk to me but all she kept saying was how her life is over and how nothing will ever be the same again. Cause it turns out that …that she's pregnant."

Brooke looks turns Nana, begging with her eyes that she'll understand. Nana fearing the truth takes the young girl in her arms.

"It was Lucas'. He's the father." Brooke sobered.

"I know, honey. Let it all out. You just go ahead and cry," Nana said while rubbing Brooke's back in a soothing motion.

"I know it doesn't feel like it now but eventually everything will work out. You just have to remember that everything in life happens for a reason." She felt Brooke physically pushing her away but she pulled her back and continued, "I know that it doesn't seem fair now and…and maybe it never will but I've always been a firm believer that God never closes a door without opening a window."

"Well that's a damn mighty big door he closed," Brooke sobbed.

"It sure does feel like it sometimes doesn't it? But you just have to have faith that people who are meant to be together will find their way in the end."

Brooke whispered, "I said that to Lucas once. When we were first dating. I believed it then but I don't now. I can't."

"Aw honey, that will change with time. Time heals all pains, Brooke and it will heal yours too."

"It doesn't feel like it," Brooke murmured.

Brooke appreciated the comfort that Nana was offering but she couldn't help but wished that her own mom had been there for her instead.

Her body was motionless, her tears were dried up, and her heart was cold. She was safe. No one could hurt her. Brooke untangled herself from the warmth of Nana's arms, "Thank you for that", she said softy.

Nana framed Brooke's face in her hands, "Are you okay now?" she asked.

Brooke, feeling a little better, smiled and said, "No. But I will be."

"Good girl. Just remember what I said, okay?"

She nodded, "I'll try." Brooke politely excused herself. "I'm going to go clean my face."

Nana bobbed her head, "Of course, dear."

The feel of the cold, fresh water on her face did wonders for Brooke's fragile state. "You will get though this, you hear me? You're strong, Brooke," she repeated to herself, hoping to convince herself. But she didn't feel strong. In fact she felt very weak. Lucas had broken her heart and destroyed her faith in love and he had done it in less than twenty four hours. It was still sinking in.

Walking back to her seat, she noticed that Nana was missing, "Excuse me," she tapped the flight attendant on the shoulder.

The flight attendant turned towards Brooke, "Yes?"

"Um…the lady sitting next to me did you see where she went?" asked Brooke wanting to thank the old lady once more.

The flight attendant looked at her strangely, "I'm not sure want you mean."

Brooke rolled her eyes, "The woman? Sitting right next to me, where did she go?"

"No-one was sitting next to you."

"What? Of course someone was. Her name was Nana. You must have seen her," she explained.

"I'm sorry but I didn't see anyone."

"She was just here. She couldn't have just disappeared" Brooke snapped.

Other passengers were beginning to notice the commotion. It was a bit unsettling.

Looking around at the passengers now getting out their seats, the flight attendant rushed on, "Please calm down. I will see if I can find her." She hurried off.

Brooke nodded, "Yes thank you." But she knew the woman thought she was crazy and had no intention of looking for Nana and wasn't the least bit surprised when she returned ten minutes later with no Nana in tow.

She wasn't crazy, she had sat here not twenty minutes ago and had a conversation with Nana. Where could she have gone too?

_I guess you'll never know_. A voice inside her head whispered. _Just remember what she said,_ the voice whispered again. _People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end._

----------------

After the very painful and public display of Brooke's revulsion for the new parents-to-be, Haley found herself walking the halls, seeking out none other than her best friend, Lucas Scott. She had been worried about him ever since he so causally failed to notice her presence in the hall or her pleading for him to answer her. "Lucas? Lucas!" she said a little louder. "Lucas, answer me?"

Still no response.

She looked towards Nathan, asking with her eyes for his help, "Lucas, man come on talk to us."

Either he wasn't listening or just couldn't hear them. "LUCAS! Please answer me! You're really starting to scare me…" Haley trailed off.

For the first time hearing Haley's voice and the urgency in it, Lucas muttered, "Hales. I think I'm gonna be sick."

Haley was relieved, if only for a moment, that he was okay and asked Nathan to help them to the bathroom. Before they could make it though he ran off in the same direction Brooke had minutes earlier. That was the last time she saw him and she was really starting to worry. It wasn't like Lucas to just disappear. It didn't help that she couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, terrible wrong. "Dammit", she muttered "Where is he?"

She had just about given hope, when she felt her cell phone vibrate. 'Call from Lucas' it read. She sighed in relief, "Thank God."

"Luke! I've been going out of mind. I couldn't find --"

"Hales I need you" he interrupted.

"Where are you?" she asked.

"River Court."

"I'm on my way. Just stay there."

Hanging up, Haley debated whether or not to get Nathan. It would be faster she thought, he does have a car. But Nathan and Lucas aren't the best of friends. I don't want to upset him anymore than he already is. Deciding against it, she ran out the school doors.

Panting and out of breath, Haley panicked when she couldn't immediately see Lucas. "Lucas!" she screamed. She did a spin around the court hoping to get a glimpse of his face. She stomp her foot in frustration, "Lucas?" she tried again.

"Haley! Stop yelling, I'm over here" he said.

She turned towards his voice, finally making out his face burned deep within the tall grass "Oh thank goodness. You're alright," she said in relief. "What are you doing on the ground?"

"Thinking." He looked away, "Thanks for coming, Hales"

Laying next him she softy touched his arm but he jerked away. "Please don't."

"Don't what?" she asked in confusion.

"Don't try to comfort me Haley. I deserve this. And much more."

Her heart broke for her friend, "Look at me."

He was being a baby, he knew, but this was different. "Lucas please look at me," she repeated.

He couldn't. He was too ashamed. Not of the tears in his eyes, but of what he had done. "I'm too ashamed of myself," he admitted.

The tears welled up in her eyes after hearing his confession. "I've been your best friend since forever. You've seen me at my worst." She thought back to the beginning of the summer when Nathan was shutting her out and Dan was harassing her. "Let me help you," she begged.

Lucas turned around and allowed Haley's arms to elope him in a much-needed hug.

"I don't know how much more of this I can take, Haley." Lucas paused. "My mom looks at me like she doesn't know me, Peyton blames me for everything that is happening, people I don't even know hate me, and worst of all, Brooke is gone. I may never see her again and there isn't a damn thing I can about it."

"Lucas you know that isn't true. Brooke will come around once she calms down, and what do you care what other people think of you?"

"She moved to California!" said Lucas a little too harshly.

"She'll be back. This is her home" explained Haley.

"I wish I could be so sure." Lucas looked down. "I still can't believe I'm going to be a father. It seems so surreal."

Haley nodded, "Yeah, I still can't believe that one myself. I feel like we're so young."

"That's because we are, Haley. I'm only 17. If I had a child I wouldn't know what to do with it."

"You'll learn" she replied. "Just like your Mom did with you."

Lucas glanced at the river, "Mom is so disappointed in me."

"She's been disappointed in you before Lucas."

"I know but this is different. She looks at me like...like I'm him" he choked.

"I'm sure you are just imagining things. Your Mom would never--"

"Its true. I can see it in her eyes. She sees him. My father. Dan." he stumbled over the words.

"I don't believe that. Not for one second--" Her cellphone vibrating distracted her but ignoring it she continued, "She loves you Luke. Nothing is going to change that."

He nodded. "I know that"

Haley looked toward the river, "Look Lucas you screwed up. You made a mistake. Everyone makes them."

Frustrated Lucas jumped up, "Haley! A mistake? I got Peyton pregnant. Pregnant! This is bigger than a mistake."

Surprised at his outburst Haley flinched, "Luke I-"

"Just forget it. My life is over."

Haley stood up and laid her hand on Lucas' shoulder.

"I want to be alone."

"Lucas don't be-"

"Please Haley. Leave."

She didn't want to leave but what choice did she have, "Okay. I'll leave." She almost made it to blacktop when she turned around, "Promise me you'll call me if you need me."

Lucas nodded.

Haley continued on her way and with every step her heart broke a little more for her friend.

**-------------------**

**tbc...**

**thanks cari for being my beta nods you totally rock!**


	14. What To Do

_**A/N:** I know its been awhile but what can I say? Anyhoo, some important things are coming up in this story so be sure to check those out..._

**Chapter 14) What To Do**

There was nowhere for her to go. Brooke hated her, Lucas blamed her, Nathan was angry with her, and Haley was in denial. Life was screwed up. It amazed her that something so small could cause so much damage. The only family she had wanted nothing to do with her or just didn't understand. She was alone in every way.

And that was the worst feeling in the world.

Screeching brakes and a loud honk pulled Peyton out of her pity party.

"Watch it, blondie," yelled a forty-something year old man from the passenger seat of the Ford F150, almost running her off the road.

"Bite me," she yelled back. "Stupid old man almost runs me over and I'm the one that needs to watch it," she muttered to herself.

'**Tree Hill Cemetery,'** the sign read. She was here. She'd hoped that the overbearing feeling of guilt and powerlessness would fade but being there just made it worse. Maybe coming here had been a mistake. This place didn't hold happy memories for her. Her mother was buried here and her family had been destroyed here. Yet somehow in a sick and twisted way, this place made her feel safe and loved.

Pushing her way through the bushes and the branches, Peyton made her way to her mothers final resting place.

"Hey Mom. It's me," she murmured. "I know I haven't been here much lately but there's a good reason for that," she half-laughed bitterly. "I don't how to tell you this … because I don't want to disappoint you. And I know that you wanted so much for me and I'm sorry Mom, but I screwed up. I didn't mean to but I did and now I can't take it back." She took a deep breath before continuing slowly. "I've hurt my best friend, destroyed our relationship and no matter how many times I say I'm sorry it won't change what happened or what's happening now."

She found she was crying so hard that it was difficult for her to stand any longer. Dropping to her knees, Peyton released all the tension and stress of the last few days.

"Brooke hates me and I don't blame her, but I don't think I can live without her either. She's been my rock ever since I could remember. She was there when you died, when dad started spending more time at work than at home … God, she's been there through everything."

_Seven-year-old Peyton Elizabeth laid her head in her mother's lap, desperately trying to understand why her little puppy wasn't coming home._

"_Ssh Peyton" her mother whispered._

_Through her tears she responded, "Mommy I want Angel."_

"_I know you do baby, but God wanted her more."_

"_Well I don't care. She's my dog. I want her."_

"_Pey-"_

"_No Mommy! Angel is just a little puppy. Who's gonna take care of her?"_

"_God will. Just like he's taking care of your grandparents."_

_Sitting up, Peyton looked towards her mother and whispered, "But it's not fair."_

"_Honey I know but sometimes things happen for a reason. Maybe God loved her so much that he couldn't live another day without her by his side."_

"_But I love her too."_

"_I know you do honey. Angel knows it too."_

"_But I never got to tell her." _

"_She knows, honey. Trust me she knows."_

"_I don't care, I want my puppy back. Can't Dad make her better?"_

_Shaking her head, her mom spoke gently, "No honey I'm afraid not."_

"_But why not? He fixed my bird when she fell out of the tree. Why can't he fix Angel?"_

"_Sweetie it doesn't work like that. Life doesn't work like that. Some things just can't be undone."_

"_But why not? It's my fault. I should have been watching her like you told me to but I only looked away for one minute. Just one minute. I didn't mean to!" Talking through her tears she continued, "It hurts, Mommy. It really hurts. Inside." She pointed to her heart. _

_How could she explain to a seven year old the tragedy of death? "My sweet, sweet baby."_

"_Don't call me that. I'll never be sweet again and I'm not a baby!" she protested. _

"_Peyton, sometimes in life things happen that we can't explain. All we can do is go on. Baby you have to learn to take the good with the bad. I know it hurts but try to remember the good times you had with Angel."_

"_Peyton, your mom is right. Angel is probably having a party with God."_

_Peyton looked towards the brown-hair girl, who up until now had been quiet. "I don't care, Brooke. I want Angel here. With me."_

_The little girl with so much maturity walked up to her best friend and whispered, "I'll always be here for you. Best friends forever." _

_----------------_

Through everything Brooke was always there. And this was how she repaid her, by sleeping with her boyfriend? How could she live with herself after what she did?

"I really screwed up this time and I don't know how to fix it. I'm not even sure I can," Peyton said.

"I'm pregnant, Mom. Your seventeen-year-old daughter is pregnant. I wish I could say I wanted this baby or that it was conceived in love but it wasn't. I don't love Lucas. Maybe once I did, but then Jake came back and he showed me what true love is. God I miss him. I think about him all the time. Him and Jenny. I wonder if they're all right, if they're together, if they're happy. And sometimes I get so mad. So pissed off that he could just leave me and I know I don't have the right. Not now, not after what I did but if you love someone how could you just leave them? I just want to hear his voice. I want him to tell me it's all going to be okay. I want that so much. I'm not proud of what I've done or who I've become but sometimes I just wish Jake was still here."

Peyton curled her body into the fetal position. "Mom, I'm so scared. I don't know what to do. I don't know who to turn to. Brooke is gone. She moved to California and its all my fault. I wish you were still alive. I wish you could tell me what to do."

Peyton lay there for hours before she fell asleep.

---------------------------

"Peyton."

She didn't budge.

"Peyton," the voice repeated again. "Come on wake up. It's freezing out here."

Peyton opened one eye and then the other, surprised that he was here. "Lucas? What are you doing here?" she muttered.

Putting his hands in his pocket and looking everywhere but at her, he answered, "I was the river court. This is on my way home."

That still didn't explain why he was here. "And?" she asked.

He shrugged, "I don't know. I saw you laying here, in the cold and I guess I wanted to make sure you were okay.

Standing up, Peyton said "Oh."

"So are you?"

"Am I what?" said Peyton a little confused.

"Okay?"

Shaking her head, "Oh yeah. No I'm fine. I'm as good as I can be, anyways," she paused before asking, "What about you?"

Nodding Lucas replied, "I'm okay. I mean I've had better days."

Peyton agreed. She most definitely had had better days. "Yeah. Me too."

"Come on, we better get you home. It's too cold to be out here at night," Lucas said.

Nodding Peyton agreed, "Okay."

They walked in silence before Peyton had the strength to say what they both knew needed to be said. "I think we should talk about the baby, Lucas."

"Yeah. Okay."

"Do you want this baby?"

"I don't know, Peyton. I guess I haven't thought about it much."

Shaking her head Peyton whispered, "Yeah. Unfortunately for me I can't think of anything but the baby."

"Have you told your Dad yet?" Lucas asked.

"No, not yet. It's not exactly something I want to tell him over the web-cam. I'll wait until he's in town. "

"He's going to hate me isn't he?"

"He's going to hate both of us."

"I'm not sure I can handle another person hating me. Mom, Haley, Nathan, you ... Brooke."

Peyton looked towards Lucas, "I don't hate you Lucas. I just hate what we did."

"You know I think about that night a lot. About what if I had left after you kissed me. About the fact that I kissed you back. I just feel so damn guilty."

"I know what you mean. Sometimes the guilt is so much that I can't breathe."

"The worst part of all this is that Brooke was right about me. About what she said."

"Lucas, Brooke was angry-"

"No I know," interrupted Lucas. "But she was right. I always hurt her. No matter what I do, she ends up hurt."

"Have you talked to her since school?" asked Peyton.

Shaking his head Lucas whispered, "No I can't find her." He paused. "I'm sure she's either on a plane to California or she's already there."

"I still can't believe she's gone. I guess I never actually thought she would leave. I was stupid to think she could forgive us."

"God, Peyton I don't know what I'm going to do without her. I feel like I'm missing a part of my heart," Lucas muttered. "I guess this is what you felt like when Jake left, huh?"

"I was devastated, but I knew in my heart he would be back someday. He's going to hate me, Lucas, when he finds out. How do I explain this to him?"

"Jake's a good guy, Peyton. He'll understand."

"Brooke's a good person too, and she didn't understand."

"He will with time, Peyton. He will."

"I hope you're right. I really do."

"Have you heard from him?"

Peyton shook her head.

"I'm sure he's just waiting until its safe. You know, with Nikki and all."

"Yeah I know. I wish I knew if he was all right. I think not seeing him would be so much easier if I just knew that he was okay. Not knowing if the person you love is okay or not is the worst feeling in the world," explained Peyton.

"I guess that's what I have to look forward too, huh?" joked Lucas.

"Oh God Lucas I didn't mean it like that. I know Jake is alive I just meant sometimes not being able to see him or talk to him is hard. I know he had to go and I would have done the same thing if my daughter was with that bitch but I miss him. Both of them."

"I know you do, Peyton. He'll come back. He loves you."

"I know he does, but knowing that doesn't make being away from him any easier."

"I guess you're right, but at least you know he _is _coming back. Brooke may be gone forever. I think that's what scares me the most, the thought of never seeing her again. I did this and I know that but still if I could take it back I would in a heart beat."

"I don't think that's possible, Lucas."

"I know. I just wish it could have been different. I don't know if I'm ready to be a father, Peyton."

"I'm not sure I'm ready to be a mother either."

"So where does that leave us?"

"Well," Peyton said softly, gently, haltingly. "I've been thinking about getting an … abortion."

"I don't know, Peyton those-"

"What choice do we have? We're only seventeen Lucas, we can't be parents!" Peyton burst out.

"I know, but what about the baby? I'm not sure I can just get rid of it!"

"Well, no offensive, but it's not your decision. I have to do what's best for me and the baby. And right now what's best is not having it."

"Peyton we're in this together, it's my child too."

"Together? Together Lucas? You've been avoiding me all summer long and now you want to be included?"

"I have a right to be involved. It's my child too, Peyton!"

"A child that five seconds ago you said you didn't want."

"I never said I didn't want the baby, I said I didn't know. There's a difference."

The conversation wasn't going exactly as she had planned. Instead of talking and coming to some sort of a decision, they were yelling and fighting.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I've just been under a lot of stress lately. I'm not even sure I'm gonna get an abortion. I was just thinking about it."

"I'm sorry too," Lucas sighed.

"Look, we don't have to make a decision tonight. We still have some time."

"How much time?" Lucas asked.

Peyton looked at the ground, afraid to see Lucas's face when she told him, "I made an appointment for next Wednesday."

"An appointment for what?" Lucas asked slowly, although he feared he already knew the answer.

Feeling guilty, Peyton rushed on. "I wasn't sure what you wanted to do. Wednesday is the last day I can have an abortion, so I made the appointment."

"Were you even going to tell me?" Lucas whispered.

"I honestly don't know," Peyton replied quietly.

"I guess with the way I've been treating you, I kind of deserve that. Just ... just promise me that you'll include me in whatever decision you make."

"I promise, Lucas," Peyton swore. That was the first time she had ever lied to Lucas but it was easier that way. She didn't want him to feel guilty. This was the only way she could fix what she had broken. "Whatever I decide Lucas I'll include you."

Feeling reassured that for now they'd come to an understanding, he let the subject matter drop.

But a gut feeling told him it was far from over.

"I can walk the rest of the way. It's not far, really. I don't mind."

"I don't know. It's late, I'm not sure that's a good-" protested Lucas.

"I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself, Lucas. How about I call you when I get home? Would that make you feel better?" Peyton teased him.

"No, but walking you home would. But I can tell that I'm not going to win this argument, so call me when you get home," he ordered gently

Nodding, Peyton continued on her way. "See you later, Lucas."

------------------------

_tbc :)_


	15. To Forgive Is Divine

**A/N:** thanks for all the reviews! i love them.

special thanks to **Cari **for this chapter! you rock

**Chapter 15) To Forgive Is Divine**

After Haley's horrible conversation with Lucas, she found herself calling Nathan in desperate need of cheering up.

"Are you busy?"

"What's up?"

"Nothing I just want to see you. Can you come over?" Haley asked.

"Well I just got out of practice. I'm pretty dirty let me take a shower first and then I'll be over, okay?"

Getting to spend quality time with her husband these days was a treat. "Sounds like heaven."

"Okay then I'll be there in about fifteen minutes. See you-"

"Oh Nathan before you go have you seen Peyton lately?"

"Not since after lunch. You?"

"No and I'm really starting to worry about her." It was getting cold outside and it was meant to rain tonight. She hoped Peyton was all right and not doing something stupid.

"I'm sure she's okay, Haley. Peyton's a big girl, she can take care of herself."

"I know Nathan, but she's been through so much lately I'm just worried."

"I know you are, but I've known Peyton a lot longer than you and this is just how she handles stuff. Try not to worry."

"I guess you're right." Peyton was a big girl and quite capable of taking care of herself. When she was ready she would come home. She always did.

"I usually am. Speaking of Peyton, have you heard from Brooke yet?" He was more worried about Brooke then he was Lucas or Peyton. They both had families that cared about them but Brooke didn't have anyone.

"No. I haven't tried calling her. Have you?"

"No, but even if I did I wouldn't know what to say to her. I mean what can you say?"

"I have the same problem with Peyton and Lucas. I know this it's selfish but I feel like this whole pregnancy thing isn't just affecting them, it's like I'm stuck in the middle. Between checking up on Lucas and taking care of Peyton, I have zero time for anything else."

"Haley, I think its time they learn to fix their own problems."

"Maybe you're right," she sighed. "Why don't you pick up a movie before you head over?" Movie nights always made her feel better.

"Sounds good. Anything in particular you want?" asked Nathan.

"No just no scary movies, or action movies, and nothing sad."

Laughing Nathan asked, "So basically nothing but chick flicks."

Giggling Haley answered, "You know me too well Nathan."

"Well I am your husband Haley its only natural that I do."

"Yeah. See you in a few minutes," Haley whispered. Hanging up, she couldn't help but think things between them were too good to be true. It was almost yesterday that they got back together. Other than the five-minute conversation they had outside her door they haven't talked and while everything seemed back to normal she knew in her heart that it wasn't.

------------

An hour later Haley found herself in Nathan's arms watching a movie yet only thinking of one thing. Their marriage and how much longer it would last. A much-needed talk was in order and now was as good a time as any.

Reaching for the remote Haley turned the TV off and looked at Nathan.

"Are you done watching the movie?" he asked.

"Well I wasn't really watching it to begin with. I'm too busy thinking about stuff," she answered honestly.

"Thinking about what stuff?"

"You know just stuff like whether or not Lucas got home okay, whether or not Peyton is all right … us." she whispered the last part.

"Us?"

She hated bringing it up but she had to know. "I know you said you forgave me but did you mean it? Do you really forgive me, Nathan?"

Taking a deep breath Nathan answered, "I wouldn't have said I did if I didn't, Haley."

"I know, but I can't help but think you said you did because of the whole Peyton and Lucas drama."

"What do they have to do with anything?" he said a little frustrated that once again Peyton and Lucas were ruining their night.

"Everything. I don't want you to think that just because Brooke left means that I'm going to leave again, because I would never do that Nathan. I would never leave you."

"I know that Haley."He wanted to think so. He really did but sometimes it was hardtrusting someone who had hurt you.

"Do you? Do you really Nathan?" she reached out to touch him but he pushed her hands away.

Why was she doing this? Why was she bringing up old wounds? "Haley don't do this. We've had a good night. Don't ruin it."

"I'm not trying to, Nathan but I need to know. I need to know that you trust me and that you forgive me."

"We've already discussed this," Nathan muttered.

"Well I think we should discuss it again. Don't you?" Haley asked.

"No, actually I don't. I think discussing it now is a bad idea."

"I think with everything going on, now is a great time," Haley argued.

"Yeah, well I don't." Nathan stood up and reached for his jacket.

"So that's it? Just because you don't want to talk about it we're not going to?" Haley stood up too.

"I didn't say that. You can talk all you want, but I'm going home."

He was halfway to the door before he felt her feather touch on his shoulder. "Wait Nathan. Don't leave."

Taking a moment to cool down, Nathan turned around and looked Haley directly in the eyes. "I forgive you, Haley. I know in my heart that you would never leave me again and I couldn't possibly think of another woman I would want to be married to." He realised that it wasn't until the exact moment he said it that Nathan knew it to be true.

"Nathan." She framed his face in hands, and looking into his eyes, she knew. They were forever. It wouldn't be easy but nothing ever worth having was easy. "I don't think I've ever loved you more than I do at this moment," said Haley.

His heart melted at her words. Hearing her say she loved himwas one thing but himknowing it was pure bliss. "I love you too, Haley."

Leaning in Nathan softly touched his lips to Haley's while his arms found themselves comfortably around her waist. At first it was an innocent kiss but then it turned passionate. His tongue begged for entrance into ecstasy but Haley held back. She stepped away from the kiss. Nathan opened his eyes in confusion, "What's wr-" he asked.

"Sshh." She took his hand and led him into the living room. "Make love to me Nathan."

Picking Haley up so her legs straddled his hips, Nathan gently laid her on the couch. "Your wish is my command," he said. He slowly unbuttoned her blouse, desperately trying to salvage every minute. He was down to her last button when Haley's hands still him, "Should we be doing this?" she asked.

It was, after all, her who asked him to make love to her. A little confused he asked, "You don't want to?"

"No that's not what I mean. Should we been doing this here, in the living room? What if Peyton comes home?"

He grinned cheekily. "She could always watch."

Laughing, she playfully hit him on the arm. "Be serious, Nathan. Maybe we should go up to my room."

"Okay, to your room it is." He playfully picked her up and threw her over his shoulder and raced up to her room, taking the stairs two at a time.

Haley, giggling the whole way up, also playfully smacked him on the butt a few times, "What a bad boy you've been!" she teased. Gone was the shy, little-old tutor-girl. In her place was the new and improved Haley James Scott.

Nathan, taking part in the foreplay said, "Yes I've been a very, very bad boy. I think I should I be punished."

And punished he was, all night long.

------------------

I guess this is a perfect way to end a perfect day, Peyton thought. It was raining and she was soaked to the skin before she noticed and it seemed the closer she got to being home the harder it rained. She could barely see where she was going and it was no surprised when she tripped and fell over a tree branch. "Damnit," she screamed in frustration. "Is it too much to ask that I make it home in one piece?"

_Boom, boom_ was the only response she got.

"I guess it is," she muttered to herself.

Ten minutes later Peyton was finally home and she couldn't have been more ecstatic to deal with Haley. She knew Haley wanted to help but all she ended up doing was pissing her off. She hovered over her like she was her mother and while she appreciated the concern what she really needed was someone to listen to her. Not someone who constantly tried to fix everything. That was one thing she loved about Brooke. Brooke always knew when to push and when to back off. She never had to say anything she just knew. I guess that's why they were best friends for so long. The girls were complete opposites but somehow they understood one another and it was killing Peyton knowing that Brooke wanted nothing to do with her. She knew she deserved it but that didn't make it any less bearable. She and Brooke had been like sisters to each another and to go from having that kind of bond to not having it was pure torture. She wished there was someway she could undo the past but she knew that was impossible.

Brooke wouldn't help her if she were on fire thought Peyton.

Butshe knew that wasn't true because Brooke would be the first one there putting out the flames.Knowing thatPeyton felt that much worst.

She couldn't blame Haley for trying but it was just too much right now. There were so many decisions that needed to be made and so very little time to make them and she didn't want to have to worry about dodging Haley at every turn.

Letting herself in she expected to see Haley waiting for her but instead she was met when a dark house. Maybe she went out; finally I can be alone, she thought to herself. Peyton climbed the stairs shedding her wet clothing along the way. She was down to her bra and panties when she heard the moaning coming from Haley's room. Tip-toeing over to the door, she listened closely. Hearing the two lovebirds brought a smile to her face. She was glad Nathan and Haley were back together. If anyone was meant to be together it was them. They had been through so much yet somehow they found a way to forgive one another. Haley really had changed Nathan for the better. He was a completely different person when he was around her. She couldn't remember him ever being that happy with her; in fact she couldn't remember him ever being that happy. Maybe things do work out for the best in the end.

"_But what about you and Jake?"_ a voice whispered inside her head. _"Jake loved you but he left anyway. How did that work out for the best?"_

She frowned. She tried to think of anything good that had come out of his leaving but nothing was coming to mind. In fact everything went to hell when he left.

"_Maybe things work out for the good ones, the worthy ones."_ the voice whispered again.

That was Peyton's greatest fear. That she just wasn't worthy of happiness or of love. Ever since her mother died Peyton lost her ability to trust in anyone, including herself. But that all changed when Jake came into the picture. Jake was like her knight-in-shining-armor, he was her hero, he made everything good in her life. For the first time it didn't matter that her father was never around or that her mother was died. The pain was still there but it didn't rule her life. It was like she was finally set free.

"_But all that's changed Peyton. Brooke hates you and once Jake finds out what you've done he'll hate you too."_

"No, no Jakes loves me. He'll forgive me," she told herself.

"_But why should he? You're not even sorry. You hated what Brooke and Lucas had so you ruined it. You couldn't stand the thought of them being happy and you being miserable so you didn't everything in your power to spoil it."_

"No! No I didn't it. I love Brooke she's my best friend. I would never intentionally hurt her!"

"_But this isn't the first time you've stole her boyfriend. You've done this before."_

"But that was different. I loved Lucas then."

"_Did you really? Because five seconds ago you said you have only ever loved Jake. So which is it?"_

"Jake. No! I mean both. I love them both just in different ways. I love Lucas but I am in-love with Jake."

"_People who love each other don't typically sleep with other men and then get pregnant." _

"But it was an accident. I didn't mean to sleep with Lucas or get pregnant."

"_There are no accidents in life Peyton. You should know that by now."_

She couldn't strand it any longer. She put her hands over her ears and screamed as loud as she could, "Shut the hell up!"

Nathan and Haley jumped apart. "What the hell?" Nathan muttered.

"It sounded like Peyton," said Haley.

"You stay here. I'll check it out."

Haley nodded.

Covering himself up, Nathan yanked open the door and found Peyton on the ground in her bra and panties murmuring over and over, "I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't do it on purpose."

Nathan, scared for his friend, yelled for Haley. "Haley come quick. Something's wrong with Peyton."

Haley jumped off the bed, grabbed her robe and raced to the door, "What is it? Is she okay?"

Nathan was knelling next to Peyton trying to calm her down but she wouldn't stop shaking and she was burning up, "Haley, help me put her to bed. Take her feet."

They managed to get her to bed but they couldn't seem to calm her down. "What is she saying?" asked Haley.

"Something about she didn't do it on purpose."

"On purpose? What didn't she do on purpose?"

"Look Haley, we'll worry about that later. Right now we need to calm her down. She's running a fever and yet she's freezing. Go get me a wet, warm rag."

Nathan never took charge like this before and Haley found it was kind of refreshing. "Okay. Give me a minute."

Haley hurried to the bathroom looking for a clean rag. "Nathan, there aren't any!"

"Just get me something to wet her down with. I don't care what it is."

Haley looked around and all she found was a tank top, "Will this do?" she asked Nathan.

"It's fine. Thanks."

Nathan felt a little weird wetting down his ex-girlfriend so he handed the wet tank top to Haley. "You do it."

-----------

Peyton had fallen asleep not long after getting her into bed but anyone with eyes could tell it wasn't a peacefully sleep. She tossed and turned and mumbled over and over again that Jake had to forgive her. Nathan tried to soothe her but nothing he did was working and Haley wasn't much help either. She was usually calm in stressful situations but she couldn't seem to get a hold on her emotions. Her hands were shaking and she was sweating just as much as Peyton was, "Nathan she's so hot, she's on fire."

"I know. I don't know what to do. Maybe we should call Karen?" He was really scared. They had been nursing Peyton for over an hour now and her fever wasn't going down. That couldn't be good for the baby and it didn't help that Peyton kept covering her stomach like she was in pain.

"Yea, okay. Here, call her on my cell." It seemed like a good plan.

Nathan looked at the clock on the phone; it was 1:30am. He just hoped he could get someone.

--------------------

**tbc………**

ok so thats chapter 15! hope you like...as always review:)


	16. No One Can See You But Me

**Thanks to everyone who read/reviewed last chapter hugs it means a lot. Also thanks to my awesome betas Cari and Mal! You ladies rock...**

Shout Out to **Summer**, I miss you! We so neeeeeeeed to talk lol

**Chapter 16) No One Can See You But Me**

_Ring, Ring._

It must have rang 15 times before someone picked up.

"Hello?" said Lucas, drowsy.

"Lucas! Thank God you answered. It's Peyton she has a fever and we can't get it to go down. I don't know what to do," Nathan said hastily.

Sitting up quickly he asked, "How high is it?"

"Man I don't know. Haley looked for a thermometer but she couldn't find one. We've been wetting her down for the last hour but nothing's changed", he paused, "If anything, she has gotten worse", Nathan explained truly afraid for his friend.

Lucas getting a little worried himself.

"Worse? How?"

"She keeps covering her stomach like she's in pain."

Lucas knew that definitely wasn't a good sign.

"For how long?"

"Five minutes maybe."

"Oh God, Nathan, get over here! She's bleeding!" Lucas heard Haley shout.

"Shit! Lucas, man, I'm calling an ambulance. Peyton's legs are covered in blood."

Something was wrong, something was terribly wrong.

"I'll meet you at the hospital", he replied anxiously.

Lucas jumped out of bed, pulled on some sweat pants and grabbed his favorite hoody and shot out the door.

"Mom!" he yelled.

He knocked on her door before entering.

Karen fled out of bed.

"Lucas! What is it? What's wrong?" she asked concerned with the terror in her son's voice.

"It's Peyton. She's bleeding!"

Karen rushed to her son's side.

"Oh my God. Is she at the hospital?"

Lucas nodded.

"Mom I think something happened. Something's wrong with the baby."

Karen couldn't believe it. She didn't want too.

"Lucas calm down and tell me what happened."

Lucas took a deep breath.

"Nathan and Haley called me because Peyton had a fever and nothing they seemed to do was helping and while we were on the phone Haley screamed that Peyton was bleeding. Next thing I know Nathan's calling an ambulance and I'm banging on your door", he paused. "Something's really wrong, isn't it? I mean, with the baby."

"Do you know if she complaining of abdominal pains?" Karen asked.

"No, no I think so. They didn't say. Is it serious?"

Lucas couldn't remember ever being that scared. His heart was pounding so fast. It felt like at any moment it was going to jump right out of his chest. He hadn't thought about the baby much but in the back of his mind he knew that it existed and now the thought of him or her not existing ever was scaring the shit out him. Karen shared her son's fears. The last thing she wanted was to scare him but in times like those the truth was always best, even if it was painful.

"I'm not going to lie to you, Lucas. No, it's not a good that she's bleeding."

Lucas started to shake.

"But she's gonna be okay, right?

Karen laid her hands on her son's.

"I don't know but the quicker they get her to the hospital the better her and the baby's chances are."

------------

It was less than thirty minutes later that mother and son reached the hospital. Lucas first saw Haley crying hysterically in the corner.

"Haley? What is it? Is she okay?"

Haley ran into her best friends waiting arms.

"They don't know Lucas. No one will tell us anything."

Lucas took a quick look around the hospital's waiting room.

"Where's Nathan?" he asked.

"Trying to get a hold of Larry," she said trembling.

"Tell me what happened, Haley?"

"I don't know. Nathan and I were in my room when we heard Peyton screaming. When we found her she was burning up and mumbling something about not doing it on purpose. We carried her to bed and I started wetting her down. God, Lucas she was burning up. Next thing I know she's covering her stomach like she's in pain and then blood started falling down her legs", Haley recalled.

She was hysterical and having her relive the night wasn't helping.

"Shhh, Haley. I'm sure she's going to be okay, her and the baby. Let me see if I can talk to someone. Mom?" he reached out to her, "Take care of Haley for me. I'll be right back."

Karen enveloped Haley into a hug and whispered over and over again that Peyton and the baby were going to be all right. Lucas walked towards the nurses' station daring one of them to tell him no.

"I need to speak to a doctor, now!" he shouted.

The nurse hurried off in search of the physician on duty. A minute later Lucas was face to face with a middle aged man dressed in scrubs. His tired face already looked like he had worked one too many shifts.

"What can I do for you son?" he asked.

"You can tell me whether or not my friend, Peyton Sawyer is okay."

"Are you family?" asked the doctor.

"If you mean am I a relative then no but if you mean am I family then yes."

"I'm sorry son but I can only discuss patients with blood relatives."

Lucas scared shitless and running out of patience took the doctor by his collar.

"Look here, Doc. Her only family is out to sea so unless he gets here within the next ten seconds, you better tell me what you know."

Flushed and a little taken back the doctor said, "I'm sorry but it's hospital rules unless you are family I can't tell you anything."

Lucas was fed up.

"I've already told you. I'm her family and so are all the people in the waiting room. Look, man, that…that's my child she's carrying," he yelled.

"I understand your position but…"

"No, I don't think you do. I want to know what's wrong with her and I want to know now!"

He was sure he would regret this in the morning but the young man really cared about the girl and he figured what was the harm in telling him.

"Look we had a pretty bad scare but your friends got her here in enough time."

He was gonna have to do better than that.

"What does that mean?" Lucas asked.

Sighing in annoyance the doctor continued.

"Your girlfriend is fine and so is the baby. I've given her some fever reducers and she's sleeping now but you can see her when she wakes up."

Relief poured through Lucas's body and he relaxed his grip on the doctor.

"Thank you", he said.

The doctor fixed his shirt and started to walk away when Lucas said something odd that caught his attention.

"She's not my girlfriend."

The doctor just smiled and continued on his way.

-------------

Haley looked up, out of the shelter of her husband's arms to see Lucas walking towards them with a relieved look on his face that gave her a little bit of hope.

"How is she?" she asked.

"She's going to be okay…her and the baby. She's sleeping now but we can see her when she wakes up," he explained.

Haley let out the breath she didn't know she had been holding and started to cry all over again. Nathan closed his eyes in relief and Karen took her son into her arms and held him while he cried for the friend and the baby he almost lost.

Lucas finally looked towards Nathan.

"Did you get a hold of her father?"

Nathan shook his head no.

"No one knew where he was but they promised they would give him the message once he was located."

"What did you tell them?"

"To tell Larry that his daughter was in the hospital and that he needed to get back to Tree Hill ASAP."

Lucas nodded.

"Thanks Nathan, for everything. I mean it, man."

Lucas knew he wasn't his brother's favorite person at the moment but he had really come through for him. Taking care of Peyton and his baby like that, it was non-repayable.

----------------

It was practically the next morning before Peyton woke up and it was later than that when everyone got to see her.

"Peyton you really scared us," Haley said while hugging the life out of her.

"Yeah, well I really scared me too", she replied with a tired half smile.

"What happened last night?" Nathan asked.

Taking a deep breath she began to explain.

"I was just so upset about Bro-oo-about Brooke leaving that I just kind of lost it. I'm sorry I scared you guys," she said sincerely.

"I'm just glad you and the baby are all right," Lucas said speaking for the first time.

Peyton looked at Lucas and nodded.

"Me too."

Without breaking eye contact Peyton asked the others if they wouldn't mind giving her and Lucas a moment alone. Nathan, Haley, and Karen nodded and quietly slipped out the door.

"Can we talk for a minute?" Peyton asked meekly.

Lucas nodded.

"Look, I've been thinking and I know I said that I wanted an abortion but after all this I just can't do it, Lucas. I…I think I want this baby", she paused, worried a minute by his silence before carefully continuing. "I'll understand if you don't want anything to do with the baby or with me but I'm keeping it."

Lucas thought for a moment before answering in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Peyton, you don't know how happy that makes me. I want this baby, too."

"You do?" Peyton asked a little surprised at his confession.

He nodded.

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I do. I just didn't realize how much until tonight."

"It's a little girl, Lucas. We made a little girl," Peyton said with sparkle in her eye.

Maybe her baby hadn't been conceived in love but that didn't make it any less precious.

"What? But I thought it was too early to tell," Lucas said, amazed that they were able to tell the baby's sex so early in the pregnancy.

"The doctor did an ultrasound to check the heartbeat. He asked me if I wanted to know the sex, and I said yes", explained Peyton.

Lucas was in awe.

"I can't believe it. We actually made a little girl."

He reached out to touch Peyton's slightly swollen stomach and flinched when he felt something kick.

"What? What was that?" he asked.

Peyton laughed a little.

"It's the baby Lucas. She's been kicking all morning."

"What…I didn't know she could do that."

Lucas was obviously clueless when it came to pregnancy and babies.

"The doctor says that most mothers can't feel kicking until the eighteenth week but that babies can start kicking at thirteen weeks. Its just not as common to actually feel it."

Lucas smiled but his face quickly changed to a frown. He pulled away from Peyton.

"Lucas what is it? What's wrong?" asked a confused Peyton.

He looked down.

"I was just thinking about Brooke and how much I wish she was here. Experiencing this with me, with us."

It was a selfish wish but he couldn't help it.

Peyton felt her eyes well up at the mention of her best friend's name.

"Has anyone called her yet?"

Lucas shook his head no.

"I don't think so. Everyone has just been so worried about you," he explained.

Peyton knew it would take a brave person to call Brooke but she was kind of hoping that after hearing of her being in the hospital she would jump on the next plane to Tree Hill. It was probably too much to ask but she could always hope.

Knock, Knock 

They turned towards the door.

"Hi Peyton."

In walked a short, plump, middle-aged woman.

"I'm your day nurse I was hoping I could take your vitals. Would that be all right?" she asked with a huge smile on her face.

The smile was kind of freaking Peyton out but she nodded her head anyways.

"Good," the nurse said.

She reached for her hand and began taking her pulse.

"What's your name?" Peyton asked.

"Beth Jones." she clarified. "Its nice to meet you", she said, looking towards Lucas. "You must be the father. It's nice to meet you too."

"You, too. Look Peyton I'm gonna go if everything is okay but I promise I'll be back."

Peyton nodded.

"Okay Lucas see you later."

They still had a lot to discuss but now wasn't the time.

-------------

"Nathan do you think someone should call Brooke?" asked Haley out of the blue.

No one had heard from her since the day before and she had a right to know what was going on.

"I don't think that's a good idea," answered Nathan.

"Probably not but her best friend is in the hospital. Don't you think she would want to know?"

"That her best friend almost lost her boyfriend's baby. No. I don't think she'd want to know that."

"Nathan, Brooke loves Peyton. She would want to know." defended Haley.

Nathan looked towards his wife.

"You're going to do what you want to do so why does it matter what I think?" he pointed out.

"It does matter and I guess you probably right anyways," Haley explained

Nathan smiled, "I usually am."

That was the second time she heard him say that in less than 24-hours.

"You know you're not always right", Haley said teasingly.

"Ahh but I am," replied Nathan.

Haley laughed.

"I guess we'll just have to wait and see about that one.", she paused. "Hey, do me a favor. Will you go grab me some coffee?"

"Sure. Black, right?"

Haley nodded.

"Thanks Nate."

Waiting until Nathan rounded the corner Haley walked over to the payphone wondering what in the world she was going to say to Brooke.

---------------

_Ring, ring. _

Brooke looked up from the magazine she was trying to read when she heard the familiar sound of her cell. It was playing "Far Away" by Nickelback, a song that over the summer had become her special song for Lucas. She was tempted not to answer but she hadn't seen or spoken to her parents since she had arrived. She reached into her purse and grabbed her phone, 'Unavailable Number' it read. It must be them calling from some foreign getaway. God that was just like them, she thought. Their daughter was home heartbroken and they were off partying it up in the Tahiti. She flipped open the phone.

"Mother I thought you were going to call me yesterday."

"Brooke?"

That wasn't her mother in fact but the voice still sounded quite familiar.

"Haley?" she asked.

"Yeah, Brooke, it's me. Listen Pey-"

Unbelievable.

"Look Haley I don't want to hear about how sorry Peyton is, so you might as well save it."

"I'm not calling about that. Peyton is in the hospital, Brooke."

She didn't want it to matter but it did. Sighing she couldn't help but ask.

"What happened?"

"She started bleeding," Haley explained.

That usually meant one thing and it wasn't good.

"Did she lose the baby?" Brooke asked.

"No, but she came close...really close. They're both okay now. I just thought you might want to know."

Peyton was okay. Her baby was okay. Everyone was okay except Brooke.

"Why are you calling me, Haley?"

"Brooke, she's your best friend-"

"Correction she was my best friend. Don't call here again."

Brooke hung up the phone before curiosity got the best of her and she asked about Lucas. She couldn't believe Peyton had almost lost the baby. Yes, she had imagined awful things happening to her and Lucas but she never wanted the baby to die. The baby was the innocent one in all of it.

There was no more use trying to read the magazine she thought. But she hadn't really been reading it before. All she had been able to do since she got to California was think about Lucas and how he could do this to her yet again. She couldn't help but blame herself. She knew better than to trust him but she wanted to believe that this time was different, so she chose to ignore her head and instead trust her heart. Brooke promised herself it was the last time she would ever let her heart rule. From there on out she would face the world with her head.

---------------

Haley looked at the phone in shock. The conversation hadn't gone exactly how she hoped it would.

_She hung up on me._

"Haley?"

She jumped two feet in the air.

"Oh my God! You scared the crapped out of me, Lucas Scott. Didn't you ever learn not to sneak up on a girl?"

"Sorry, Hales. I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay, I guess. Just don't make a habit out of it. How's Peyton?"

"She's okay as good as she could be. We've um…we decided to keep the baby."

"Oh my goodness Lucas that's wonderful. I'm so excited for you. I guess that means in 6 months I'll be a aunt."

"Yup, Aunt Haley…that's what she'll call you."

"She?" asked Haley.

Lucas nodded.

"We're having a girl."

"A little girl? Wow! Lucas that's so awesome."

"I know. It's still kind of sinking in. I wanted to try Larry again. Do you have a quarter?" Lucas asked.

Haley reached into her pocket.

"Sure. Here you go."

"Thanks. Oh hey, who were you talking with on the phone?"

"When?" Haley asked innocently.

"Just now. Before I came up to you, you were talking on the phone. Who were you talking to?" Lucas asked again.

"Oh I was talking to myself. Yeah, sometimes when I'm stressed out I talk to myself,"

Lucas looked at her like she had grown a third head.

"Haley, you do realize that I can tell when you're lying."

"Um, no. I mean, maybe", she paused and made the mistake of looking at him. "Okay, okay. I was talking to Brooke. I thought she might what to know about Peyton."

"You talked to Brooke? Well, what did she say?"

This was the part Haley dreaded.

"She told me to never call her again."

"Oh. I'm sorry you're caught in the middle Haley."

Why should he be surprised when he had broken her heart? Twice. He really meant it. He hated that Peyton and him hadn't been the only ones who had lost Brooke.

"It's okay. She's just angry right now and it probably wasn't a good idea that I called her so soon after finding out."

Lucas nodded.

"Haley, do you honestly believe she'll ever forgive me?"

"I would like to think so Lucas but I just don't know."

"Yeah, that's what I figured", he turned away so she couldn't see the tears welling up in his eyes, "I better call Larry."

He put up a good front but Haley knew better. She laid her hand on his shoulder and softly spoke to him.

"Hey buddy, are you going to be alright?"

He was starting to worry her. He was losing it and they both knew it.

"Haley I can't…everything is so…I just miss her so much. I don't think I can do this without her."

His voice trembled with emotion.

"Lucas look at me," she ordered.

Haley had seen him cry before but for some reason he was embarrassed.

"I'll be alright. Just give me a minute."

But Haley was having none of that.

"Lucas." she said while wrapping her arms around him. "You just let it all out. No can see you but me," she whispered.

Little by little Lucas's arms embraced Haley's. He cried for himself and his unborn baby girl. He cried for Brooke and the life he would never have with her. He cried for messing up so royally that life in Tree Hill would never be the same again.

-------------

**tbc…**


	17. Beautiful Baby Girl

_I love you guys so much, keep the reviews coming hugs :D _

**Chapter 17) Beautiful Baby Girl**

It was Peyton's second night in the hospital and she couldn't sleep. Her mind was racing with feelings and thoughts that she just didn't have to energy to address. All she could think about was the conversation she had earlier with her father. She had finally told him. To say the least he was pissed but more than anything he was disappointed in her and the boy he thought would always protect her.

She remembered her father screaming, "How could you be so careless Peyton?"

Honestly she didn't know. She wasn't thinking of the consequences that night or how it would affect anyone else. All she cared about was forgetting. Forgetting that Jenny was gone, taken by her psycho mother, that Jake was out there looking for her, and that Brooke was leaving for the summer. Everyone she loved was abandoning her or so it seemed and the honest truth was if it hadn't been Lucas, it probably would have been someone else…anyone else. She found it hard to look herself in the mirror anymore. She hated the person she saw, the person she had become.

_Ring, Ring_

She looked towards the phone wondering who would be calling this late. Reaching for it she accidentally knocked it off the side table. It landed on the floor with a big crash. She leaned over to retrieve the phone but was stilled by a cold hand. Lucas, who hadn't been able to sleep either, picked it up and handed her.

"Thank you", she mouthed with surprise as she putt the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

Silence…

"Hello," she repeated again. "Is anyone there?"

"Peyton it's me," said the mystery voice.

Peyton shot up in bed.

"Brooke!"

Lucas's eyes widened. Brooke was on the phone. She was calling Peyton. But why? He was once again by her side so fast that Peyton almost lost the grip on the phone.

"Brooke…I can't believe it. I can't believe it's really you. I mean, how…did you know I was here?"

"Haley called me," Brooke spoke in a neutral tone.

A little too neutral for Peyton's taste.

"Haley called you?"

She looked to Lucas for confirmation. He nodded.

"Wha…when did she call you?" she asked.

"Earlier today", Brooke paused. "Look Peyton I called to make sure you were okay. So are you? Okay, I mean?"

It was killing her, talking to her best friend yet not really talking. It was killing Peyton as well. After everything she had done Brooke still cared enough to call.

"I'm okay. I get to go home in a few days." Peyton explained.

Just a few feet away, Lucas was anxious to talk to Brooke. Hell, at that point he would settle for just hearing her speak.

"Peyton what is she saying?" he whispered just loud enough for her to hear.

Peyton waved him away.

"And the baby? Is the baby okay?" asked Brooke.

It was much harder than she had expected. She hadn't wanted to call at all but after debating with herself the entire day, she knew there was nothing left to do but call. It had taken her almost two hours just to get the courage to dial the numbers. She knew she had made the right decision but still that didn't make things any easier.

Peyton's eyes welled up at the genuine concern she heard in her best friend's voice.

"The baby is fine."

Lucas had had enough of being silent. He spoke the second time loud enough for both girls to hear.

"Let me talk to Brooke."

"Lucas is there?" Brooke accused.

"Brooke it's not what you think. He…"

"Of course he's there. I mean it's his baby after all" she interrupted. "I don't why I even bothered calling you, Peyton."

She tried to explain but Brooke wasn't hearing her.

"It isn't like that. I mean he was worried and…"

"Just save it! I shouldn't have called you and believe me, I won't make that mistake again."

_Click._

Peyton looked at the phone and then at Lucas.

"She hung up."

He looked away.

"Why was she calling?" he whispered.

"To make sure that me and the baby were okay," Peyton muttered softly.

------------

Brooke slammed the phone down. He was there. In the fucking hospital room with her just like a loving boyfriend should be. But damn, he wasn't Peyton's boyfriend; he was supposed to be hers.

Brooke laid herself down on the oversized bed her parents had thought she wanted. Just like they thought she wanted to the BMW that was currently sitting in the driveway, and the Olympic size pool, and the tons of clothes that were waiting for her when she got there, and the unforgettable endless number of cooks, and maids who were all instructed to jump at her every wish and command. All that was great but she could have done without it. In fact, she wouldn't have minded if the only thing she did have were her parents. It was no secret, they had never been a close family but Brooke had hoped after the conversation she had with mother that she might actually want to start being a mom. She was, of course, wrong just like she had been about so many other things.

Brooke was tried…emotionally and physically. If only she could sleep without picturing them together. Whenever she closed her eyes all she saw was Lucas and Peyton having sex and if she could some how push that image out of her head, it was quickly replaced with another. She imagined what the baby would look like. How it probably would have Lucas' blues eyes and how it would definitely have blonde hair since both parents did. It was when those images came to her that Brooke couldn't breathe. It almost felt like she was being punched in the stomach and no matter how hard she tried she couldn't think of anything else. It was like living in hell in 24 hours a day.

Before she could even stop them, tears were streaming down her face. She hastily pushed them away, 'I won't cry over you anymore Lucas Scott' she sobbed to herself. 'You're not worth it; all you do is hurt me! I hate you! I hate you!' she cried but there was no use instopping the tears, for they were quickly replaced with others.

It was sometime later when Brooke fell asleep but even then it wasn't peacefully. Her last thought before closing her eyes was how happy Peyton and Lucas were going to be together.

-----------

Lucas left the hospital soon after the phone call with Brooke. He needed to think so he went to the one place he loved more than anything…his home away from home at the River Court. He didn't even remember picking up the ball; it was kind of like it just appeared in his hands. Playing ball was familiar to him. It always made him feel safe and secure. He knew that if was going to be the father he wanted to be he had to make some serious changes. He never wanted his child to hurt. He had already failed one person he loved, he would not fail his little girl too.

He made shot after shot but no matter how many baskets he made, the heavy feeling in his heart just wouldn't go away. He missed Brooke. It was killing him knowing that she was elsewhere, probably all alone and hurting. He wanted so badly to make it better for her but he didn't know how.

"Lucas."

He turned around and noticed his mother walking towards him.

"Mom what's up? Is everything all right?" he asked a little surprised that she wasthere that late at night.

Karen nodded.

"Peyton is fine if that's what you mean but I think its time you and I talked."

It was bound to happen at some point hethought. "Yeah, okay," he said.

Karen waited for Lucas to start but he just sat there looking everywhere but at her. "Lucas, I heard about Brooke calling." He looked up, confused as to how she knew. "Peyton called me early this morning to make sure you had gotten home last night. She told me what happened", Karen continued.

Lucas knew that as long as he lived he would always remember the way Brooke sounded on the phone; completely broken. "Mom, I don't want to talk about it," he muttered.

"Honey, it's okay to hurt, to feel pain."

Lucas shook his head.

"No! I can't," he explained. "I have to be strong."

"Lucas, everyone is vulnerable at some point. It doesn't make you weak, it just makes you human."

"I know, okay? Can we please just talk about something else?" Lucas said harshly.

Karen knew when she was pushing Lucas too far. Eventually they would talk about Brooke but for now she would let it go. "Peyton told me about her decision to keep the baby."

Lucas nodded but said nothing.

"Well how do you feel about that?" Karen asked.

He thought for a moment. "Honestly it scares the life out of me. But I want the baby. I just wish the circumstances had been different. I know this sounds horrible but I almost wish it was Brooke that was pregnant." It was an awful thing to say but it was the truth. He loved Peyton but he was in love with Brooke.

"Lucas, everything you're feeling is normal. Wishing Brooke was the mother of your child is natural but you have to be prepared for the worst when it comes to her." Lucas looked like he was going argue but Karen beat him to it. "I know you don't want to talk about it but you have to understand and accept that things between you and Brooke might not work out."

He looked like he was going to protest again but Karen put her hand up.

"Don't get me wrong, nothing would make me more happy than for you two get back together but the truth of the matter is she may not forgive you Lucas. You have to realize that."

Lucas shook his head again. "No! I won't accept that. I can't."

"Lucas, you're young. You have your whole life a head of you. Don't waste it wishing things were different", Karen said trying to convince her son that his life wasn't over.

"Mom, I love her. I really love her. It's not the kind of love you just get over, it's forever. She's apart of me I couldn't quit her even if I wanted too", Lucas answered truthfully.

"I know, baby. I just don't want you to wait around forever for something that may never come."

"Don't you see Mom? I would wait for her forever. Brooke loves me. I know she does I just have to show her that I love her, too."

Karen wasn't sure he could ever undo what he had done. He hadn't seen her that night. He didn't see the utter defeat in her eyes. "I'm not denying that you love her." She just wasn't sure he could reach her, she wasn't sure anyone could.

Lucas opened his mouth but Karen silenced him.

"…Or that she loves you but the truth is choices were made. Right or wrong they were made and saying you're sorry isn't going to fix this."

"I know!" Lucas said, frustrated.

"You made a mistake, son. Everyone makes them."

"But you taught me better than that." he defended.

"You're right. You screwed up, Lucas but I don't think that means you should punish yourself for the rest of your life."

"It's been two days. Brooke has been gone for two days. I think I'm entitled to some grieving time."

"Lucas, I'm not saying that you shouldn't take some time but I just don't want you to…"

"For God's sake Mom, three days ago I was in love and happy but even then I wasn't completely satisfied because I knew. I knew in the back of mind that any moment she would find out and leave me. And what did she do? She left. I know it's all my fault but dammit I never meant for any of this to happen."

Lucas slid out of his mother's arms. It was important that he was looking at her when he said his next statement.

"Last summer all I wanted was for Brooke to stay in Tree Hill. I wanted a chance to prove to her that I wasn't the guy she thought I was. I wanted to show her that I had changed but no, instead she goes to California and I end up making the biggest mistake of my life. Do you have any idea how it feels to know that because of one night, one mistake, your life is forever changed? And the worst part is, its not just my life that's changed, it's countless others."

Karen nodded. "As hard as this seems you'll understand where I'm coming from, someday."

"You mean, when I become a father?" he asked softly.

"Well yes," Karen answered matter of factly.

"I don't know if anyone has told you yet but we're having a little girl. Peyton is having a girl."

She was going to be a grandmother to a precious, beautiful, baby girl. "A baby girl? Oh my goodness that's wonderful news."

Lucas nodded. He wanted the baby, he really did but with everything going on it was hard for him to be happy.

"Have you and Peyton talked about what's going to happen after the baby is born?" Karen asked.

Lucas shook his head. "We haven't actually talked about anything other than we're keeping the baby," he explained.

Karen nodded. "Well you two don't have forever."

"I know. I just need some time to adjust," he said.

"Look, Larry is coming into town today. Peyton wants you to be there", Karen looked at her watch. "He arrives in an hour. We better get you to the hospital."

"Yea. I guess I should be there", he sighed with a heavy heart.

----------------

Thirty minutes later, Lucas arrived at the hospital ready to face Peyton's father.

_Knock, knock_

Peyton looked up from the book she wasn't really reading, thankful for the distraction. "Come in," she shouted.

Lucas poked his head in the room. "Is it safe?" he asked.

Peyton smiled. "He isn't here yet, Lucas."

Lucas smiled in return, grateful that he had a little while longer. "When is he supposed to be here?"

Peyton shrugged. "Couple of hours I guess."

Lucas nodded. "How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Physically, I'm okay. Emotionally? Not so well," responded Peyton honestly.

Lucas walked to the bed and took Peyton's hand in his. "I miss her so much", he sighed. "I never thought she would leave."

Before she could stop them the tears were falling one after another. "I can't believe after everything we did to her she still called to make sure I was alright," Peyton sobbed. "Imagine how that must have felt...and then for her to heard you in the background."

Lucas wiped her tears. "She always was fearlessly loyal", he paused to memorize. "That was one of the first things I noticed about her; how loyal she was to the ones she loved."

Peyton pushed his hand away. "Too bad we couldn't return that loyalty," she said harshly.

Lucas looked away.

"I miss her so much Lucas. I really need a friend right now. Haley tries and I love her to death but she's just not Brooke. I feel like I lost my family."

"I don't know what to say Peyton. I'm not sure anything can be said until she comes back…if she comes back."

"You've been talking to your mother, I see," Peyton said.

Lucas nodded. "Yeah, 'Expect the worst' is what she said."

"I'm sure she's just protecting you."

"She would be protecting Brooke too if she was here,"Lucas defended. He wasn't sure but he needed itknown that his mother liked Brooke just as much as the girl lying in the bed, if not more.

"I know that but it's not exactly want I wanted to hear at 7 o'clock in the morning."Peyton appreciated Karen's concern, she really did but she didn't know anything about the bond her and Brooke had.

"So have you thought of what you want to tall your Dad?" Lucas asked trying to change the subject.

"He already knows I'm pregnant. What's left to say?"

"Well I've been thinking…I don't know, but how do you feel about marriage?" Lucas asked.

"Lucas…no…I don't want to marry you, "she said stumbling over her words. Peyton was a little shocked that he was even suggesting marriage. If they got married Brooke would murder her.

"Good. I don't want to either but I needed to know what you thought about it," he explained.

He had taken a risk asking her that question and they both knew it.

"What if I had said that I wanted us to get married?" Peyton asked. See him try to get out of that one, she thought.

Suddenly it was Lucas' turned to stumble over his words. "I…uh…I don't know," he answered truthfully.

The two parents-to-be sat and talked openly with one another about how they were going to raise their daughter and some of the changes they knew needed to be made, to do so. It wouldn't be easy but they hoped somehow they could make it work.

----------------------

tbc…


	18. Detention Anyone?

**Okay soI really feel like I'm lacking Brooke chapters, what do you guys think?I think the reason I'm not writing her as much is I can't seem to get her emotions right! they always seem to fall short...plus I can't decide if I'm just adding useless things _lol. _Like when I"m writing, things just come to me and I just go with it but honestly Chapter 18 was suppose to be a lot further along in the story then it is. This story was only suppose to be like 20 to 25 chapters, now we're looking at 50 to 55 chapters! Thats a big difference...**

**To my many reviewers I LOVE EACH & EVERYONE OF YOU! _lol _hearing everyone's comments makes me feel all happy inside!**

**Now_(finally)_** **on with the story!**

**Chapter 18) Detention Anyone?**

_12:33_ am read Brooke's alarm clock.

"Dammit, I've been asleep for five hours, " Brooke muttered to herself. "Now you won't be able to sleep tonight and you'll be late for school in the morning."

Walking over to the balcony she couldn't help but think how much her life had changed over the last 48 hours. She was in California after spending the entire summer wanting nothing but to be home, in Tree Hill. Too bad that while she was being miserable here, her so called friends were having a blast without her.

It was still too hard for her to accept what had happened between her ex boyfriend and her best friend. She used every excuse in the book to explain it… "boys will be boys", "they were just lonely", "they missed her so much". None of them held true for very long. After all people in love just didn't sleep around.

Brooke knew that because not once during the summer did she look at or touch another guy. She had plenty of opportunities to do so but her heart was never in it. For the first time in her life she was in love with someone other than herself and it felt good. The old saying went, "you've never truly lived life until you loved' and it was the absolute truth. The only problem was, the other person had to love you back too and apparently Lucas didn't. She was beginning to think maybe he never did.

Somewhere in the back of her mind Brooke always believed she was his second choice. She never understood the connection he and Peyton shared. They had this "look in my eyes and I can see your entire soul" crap and thinking about it make her hate them even more. She never hated and loved two people so much in her entire life. One minute she wanted them dead and in hell, where they belonged and the next minute all she wanted was forgive them. It was extremely confusing and Brooke couldn't help but blame herself.

It was her fault all this was happening. Lucas pursued Peyton in the beginning and because Brooke was so captivated by him she shamelessly sought him out. No boy had ever just wanted her friendship but Lucas did. He didn't expect sex or blow jobs; he just wanted to be her friend. But she couldn't have that, not when every time he looked at her she felt like he truly saw her for who she was on the inside. He saw past the insecurities, the bitchy attitude, the make up, and the clothes and saw the scared little girl she tried so hard to cover up. When he cheated on her the first time, she completely lost it. It broke her heart and the second time was literally killing her. For so long Brooke wanted to believe that Lucas loved her so she became completely blinded to what was actually staring her in the face…Lucas loved Peyton and she loved him back. She couldn't accept that then and now she had no other choice. Peyton and Lucas were having a baby together. She might have been able to eventually forgive the sex part but always having a permanent reminder of their betrayal, like a baby, was something Brooke knew she could never live with nor forgive.

She felt silly for admitting it but the majority of her summer had been spent dreaming about a life she and Lucas would never have. She imagined him proposing to her the night of graduation. She dreamed that they got married a mere few days later, maybe at the River Court where they shared their first, real kiss as a couple. Wasn't exactly Brooke Davis style but Lucas loved that court and she knew that. After exchanging their written vows the two would go off to college together; him with a scholarship in basketball and her with a promising career in fashion. She even imagined getting pregnant five years later and giving birth to a beautiful baby boy who would have his mother's dimples and his father's piecing blue eyes. Call it a schoolgirl's fantasy but somewhere in Brooke's heart she had hoped the dream would become a reality someday. Too bad fate had a different plan.

Walking back into her room Brooke noticed her cell phone was flashing. She had a new text message. Grabbing it she debated whether or not to read it. It could only be from one of the four people she was trying to avoid at the moment. Hitting the erase button Brooke deleted the message. It was better that way Brooke told herself. Lucas and her were over, there was no doubt in her mind about that. She would never give him the power to hurt her again but in order to do that she knew she had to cut all tries with Tree Hill. That meant no more Nathan or Haley, no more Bevin or her friends from cheerleading, no Karen, no Peyton, and definitely no more Lucas Scott.

It was for the best, she kept telling herself. She knew she could be happy here if she gave it half a chance. She had a whole new life so she better start enjoying it.

--------------------

It amazed Brooke that just the night before, she decided to start a new life in California yet from the moment she woke up she could think of nothing else but Lucas. It was Monday and while her parents arranged for her to take the week off, Brooke preferred going to school and getting the dreadful first day over with. It wasn't every day a girl started her senior year in a new school. It was impractical but she always had a deep desire to be liked by her fellow classmates. She was dressed to impress and with her head held high Brooke walked into Beverly Hill High, home of the Normans. Well it definitely wasn't what she expected or even hoped for. It was beautiful and she hated it. Walking down the hall, Brooke was immediately ogled by the boys and if the girl's faces could kill she would be have been dead in an instant.

So much for making friends, she thought. Rounding the corner Brooke crashed into another body.

"Oh my gosh. I'm so sorry," she explained. "I wasn't watching where I was going."

Brooke offered her hand to the odd looking girl sprawled out on the floor but she jerked it away.

"Look where the hell you're going!" shouted the girl.

Brooke smirked. New school or not, no one ever talked to her like that…and got away with it.

"What's your problem? It was an accident."

The girl, now on her feet barked, "My problem is rich bitches like you", she grumbled as she dusted herself and continued her rant. "You're all the same, walking around here like you own the damn place or something, well guess what bimbo? You don't."

Shoving Brooke against the locker the girl stomped off.

Brooke snickered and rolled her eyes. _Bitch,_ she muttered.

------------

Opening the door to the front office Brooke was greeted with complete chaos. Teachers were running all over the place, students were being rushed to classes, and some guy was screaming at who Brooke thought was the principle.

"Excuse me?" Brooke said.

No one heard her.

"Excuse me?" Brooke shouted a little later.

A motherly type, with red glasses looked up from her pile of papers, "Can I help you young lady?" she asked.

Walking over to the lady's desk Brooke said, "I'm new and this is my first day."

The lady smiled and held her hand out to Brooke. "Well nice to meet you…" she paused waiting for Brooke to answer.

"Oh sorry. My name is Brooke. Brooke Davis."

"Well, nice to meet you Brooke Davis. My name is Ms. Jones and I'm the school secretary."

Brooke nodded and looked around.

"Don't worry, honey. Monday's are always like this. Why don't you take a sit over there and let me find your schedule?"

She pointed to a chair pushed back into the corner of the room. Brooke nodded and took a seat. A few minutes later she was called back over.

"Okay, Brooke here you are, dear." Ms. Jones said while handing her, her schedule. "Your first class is Math. Go down the hall; take the first right, then a left, and then another right. Your classroom is on the left, room 102. Have a good day sweetie."

Brooke looked up at the woman and tried to understand what in the world she had just said. "I…go where now? Left, then right, and what?"

Ms. Jones sighed in annoyance and then softened when she saw the confused, almost fearful look on the Brooke's face. "I'm sorry. I guess it is kind of scary, it being your first day and all. Why don't you take another seat and I'll get a student helper to walk you to your first class."

Brooke opened her mouth to protest but closed it just as fast. She really didn't know her way around yet and there was no point in arguing with the lady especially when there was no chance in her winning anyways. Brooke sat down, hoping her second encounter with the student body would be better than her first.

------------------

Heather was already late to her class when she ran into the brown haired bimbo in the hall. Honestly the girl looked like she had more hair gel on her head then she did brain cells inside it. Opening the door to her classroom, her teacher, Mr. Stone was already at the board giving yet another boring lecture. He got to the part when students should really learn to be on time when he noticed Heather standing in the doorway.

"Well, well, if it isn't Ms Piece? How nice of you to join us today?" he said sarcastically.

"Look, Mr. Stone I was actually on time today but I ran into a girl in the hallway-"

"Save it Heather. You know the rules. If you're tardy three days in a row, automatic detention."

Heather tried to explain but once again he interrupted her. "Mr. Stone it really wasn't my fault. This girl ran…"

"Heather I don't have time for this today. I have a class to teach. Now please sit down."

"I know but if you would just listen to me I can explain."

Mr. Stone slammed the book he been holding on the desk causing Heather to jump. "No more arguments. Take your seat, Ms. Piece or it will be two days detention."

Heather rolled her eyes and made her way to back of the room. Just another great day, she thought. Taking her seat she tried to concentrate on something other than the boy sitting in front of her. His name was Josh Parker and he was one of the guys you wanted to stay away from. There were good guys and bad guys and he was definitely one of the bad ones. Of course, no one knew it but her. He was after all the most popular guy in school and she was the invisible one but she hadn't always been. She had been popular once. She had had the perfect boyfriend, the perfect looks, and the perfect car but just like that, all of it was gone. In a blink of an eye her entire life had changed.

--------------

"Okay, Miss Davis. This is Bobby and he'll be glad to show you around," Mrs. Jones said.

Brooke looked up from her lap and shyly smiled. "Thanks", she grabbed her stuff and let Bobby walk her out of the office.

"Well, Brooke it's nice to meet you."

There was something about him. She couldn't explain it but instantly she felt safe. "You too. Look you really don't have to do this. I know it's lame…"

"Oh, hey don't worry about it. I don't mind showing you around," he interrupted.

Brooke nodded.

"So where are you from?" he asked.

"Tree Hill."

"I've never been there. Is it nice?"

Brooke shrugged. "I don't know. I guess."

Some people would call Bobby nosy but the truth was, he was just friendly. He just seemed to genuinely care about people. "So, why did you move here?" he asked.

That was definitely not the right question to ask. Brooke immediately clammed up. "Um…I just kind of did," she stammered.

He knew she was lying. It was kind of hard not to see it. "Hey, it's cool. Everyone has their stories." He wanted to say more but he wasn't sure it would be welcomed so instead he changed the subject. "So, Brooke, how do you like California so far?"

It was a simple enough question but once again the thoughts of home came and with them so did the thoughts of her and Lucas. She wiped her eyes hoping that Bobby didn't notice the tears. That's all she seemed to be doing lately. "Yeah, it's great here," she whispered.

It wasn't exactly a lie. Truthfully she didn't really know. She just arrived a few days before and she hadn't left her room since.

"Well, good. California can be fun."

Brooke nodded as they approached her classroom.

"Okay, Brooke. Here's your Math class. Your teacher is Mr. Stone. Actually, my big sister has him this period. Get her to show you around, okay?"

"Thanks Bobby," she said.

"No problem." He turned around and started to walk away but stopped and faced Brooke again. "I know it's none of my business but you seem like a really nice girl so if you ever want to talk, just come find me, okay?"

Brooke was caught off guard. Guys weren't usually that nice to her unless they wanted something,

"I've been told that I can be a pretty good listener," Bobby continued.

Brooke smiled her first real smile since arriving there two days ago. "I will."

He winked at her and then walked away. Brooke took a deep breath and walked into her new class. The door shut behind her with a loud bang causing everyone to turn in her direction. The old Brooke would have loved the attention but the new Brooke simply wanted to disappear.

"Can I help you?"

Brooke turned her attention to the teacher. "Hi. I'm new, and my name is Brooke Davis." She handed him her schedule.

Looking over it, Mr. Stone gave it back.

"Well, Miss. Davis, welcome to Beverly Hills High. Why don't you take a seat next to Ms. Pierce? Heather, raise your hand, please."

Heather looked at Brooke, recognizing her instantly. "Absolutely wonderful," she muttered. The bimbo was in her class and would be sitting next to her since there weren't any other available seats.

"You'll have to excuse Heather, Brooke. She tends to daze off. Heather!" yelled Mr. Stone.

Jackass I heard you the first time, she wanted to scream. "Yes Mr. Stone?" she asked innocently.

"I would like you to met the new student. Brooke, this Heather. Heather, this is Brooke."

Heather smiled sweetly.

"Please take your seat, Brooke." Mr. Stone instructed.

She quietly made her way to back of the room, also instantly recognizing the girl from the hallway. She plopped down in the seat and opened her notebook.

"Brooke, is it?" Heather asked softly.

Brooke nodded again.

The girl sure didn't talk much. "Well Brooke you made me late to class this morning," accused Heather.

"I made you late? You ran into me."

Heather rolled her eyes for about the hundredth time that morning, "Please! You were practically racing down the hallway."

"I was not racing. It's my first day and I didn't want to be late," Brooke explained.

_The nerve of the girl blaming her!_

Heather laughed. "Sure, Princess. More like you didn't want to be late to get to a mirror in the bathroom."

"Heather, is it?" Brooke asked.

She nodded.

"Well listen, Heather. You've known me for what? All of five minutes and you already think you have me figured out, huh? Well, I hate to disappoint you but I'm not like that."

"Whatever. You're all the same. Only worrying about what you look like on the outside, never mind to the inside," she accused.

Now it was Brooke's turn to roll her eyes. "You're impossible. I've already told you I'm sorry for _bumping_ into you. What more do you want, blood?"

"No need to be dramatic."

Brooke pointed to herself. "Me? I'm being dramatic? You're the one who won't accept my apology."

Heather looked towards the front of the classroom. "Why should I?" she asked, enjoying the fact that she had Brooke right where she wanted her.

"I don't know, maybe because generally that's what people do," Brooke said in a voice a little louder than a whisper.

"Well, you'll find out soon enough Princess that I'm not like most people."

"Stop calling me Princess!" hissed Brooke loud enough for the teacher to hear.

_Bingo, _thought Heather.

"Ms. Davis I don't know about the rules in your old school but in this one when you talk during class, you have detention," Mr. Stone said, a little annoyed that for the second time that day a student had dared to interrupt his lecture.

Brooke looked from Heather to Mr. Stone, understanding what had just occurred.

"But, Mr. Stone she was…"

"I'm sorry, Miss Davis but rules are rules. Detention begins at 3:30. Be in this room by then. Heather will be joining you today."

Brooke was furious that she let the weirdo get the better of her. _I'll get her back_, she thought.

------------

_Detention 3:31pm_

Brooke rushed into the classroom almost running straight into the teacher's desk. "I'm sorry I'm late but I couldn't find my way around."

Mr. Stone looked up from his papers. "I'll cut you some slack since this is your first day don't let it happen again, Miss Davis."

Brooke restrained from making a face and instead politely agreed. He responded by waving his hand, essentially telling her to take a seat.

Brooke sighed and turned to sit when she noticed Heather with a dumb grin on her face. She was taunting her, hoping that she would make a scene. Sitting down Brooke chose to ignore her instead. Opening her history book she, decided now it as good a time as any to begin her homework.

_Brooke Davis doing homework, the same day it was assigned._ Who would have ever thought up that one? Certainly no one back home. She was never the homework type or the school type, for that matter. She was the head cheerleader, the popular one, the one everyone looked up to and wanted to be like. Girls envied her and guys wanted her. She wondered what everyone thought of her now. Brooke Davis, the girl who couldn't satisfy her own boyfriend. The girl whose best friend slept with her boyfriend and then got pregnant.

Brooke tried to get a grip on her emotions but the day hadn't been the best and thinking about Lucas always made her cry. The tears were falling before she even realized it. They made there way down her cheeks, silently landing on her notebook. She sniffed and wiped at her eyes but she couldn't stop them. Brooke looked from her Heather to the teacher. _I need to get out here_, she thought.

Heather looked at Brooke weirdly, she was crying. The two girls locked eyes. Their eyes mirrored each other's. _She's been there_, thought Heather. Brooke's face crumbled and she felt the air rushing out of her lungs. She couldn't breathe.

"Excuse me, Mr. Stone" Brooke sobbed.

Mr. Stone looked up from his papers confused as to why the new girl was on the sudden verge of hysterics. "Miss Davis, what's the problem?" he asked sincerely.

She couldn't speak. "Brooke, what is it? What's wrong?"

Heather wasn't sure why she decided to help Brooke but the look in her eyes reminded her of a time in her life when she had been completely destroyed. "Um, her grandmother died last week that's why she moved here." Heather blurted out.

Mr. Stone looked to Brooke for verification and she simply nodded her head.

"I think it would be best if I took her to the bathroom, don't you?" Heather asked.

"Yes.Yes, please take her to the bathroom. Stay there as long as you need, Brooke."

Heather led Brooke out of the classroom like a mother would her child. Once in the hallway and out the earshot of Mr. Stone, Brooke quickly separated herself from the unlikely ally who had come to her rescue.

"Thanks, " she managed to say through her tears.

"No prob."

This was the part Heather hated…dealing with emotions. She was never very good with them.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

Brooke didn't think she did but amazingly the past few days just started pouring out and when she was done, she felt a million times better as she looked into the quiet eyes of someone who seemed to understand. Hours before they had been at each other's throats, claws bared but in a matter of minutes, something told Brooke she had made a friend for life.

---------------

**tbc...**

**much thanks to Mal :)**


	19. Cry Me A River

_**A/N:** thanks so much for all the reviews:D_

**Chapter 19) Cry Me A River**

_**A week later**_

Peyton finally got to go home after spending a week in bed. Although going home didn't sound much better than being cooped up in the hospital. She hated the thought of her father hovering over her at home.

"Dad I'm fine." Peyton said.

Larry didn't look too convinced.

"Really Dad. The doctor said me and the baby were fine."

Father and daughter had already had the conversation many times since Larry had announced that he wouldn't be returning to work anytime soon.

"Peyton, please don't start. We've already been over this."

"I know. But I am capable of taking care of myself," interrupted Peyton.

"Somehow you being pregnant at seventeen doesn't convince me that you are." Larry said with a little more force than necessary.

Peyton looked heartbroken and instantly the tears welled up. _I made a mistake_! _I know that already, _she wanted to scream.

Larry's face softened.

"Look, can we just make it home without having this conversation again?" he asked.

Without waiting for an answer, he continued driving.

Larry knew he shouldn't have made that comment but he felt so _damned_ guilty. All he could think about was how much this whole situation was his fault. When his wife died he was so scared of his little girl. Scared of loving her and being vulnerable that his traveling time went from being gone once every three months to being _home_ once every six months. He couldn't help but think that if he had been around more than maybe Peyton wouldn't have gotten pregnant. But he always thought she was being taken care of by Brooke. Brooke had been a constant in the Sawyer family since Elizabeth's death. He never understood the bond the two girls had but he was thankful for it. He knew that Brooke would always watch out for Peyton. Over time Brooke had become a second daughter of sorts and Larry loved both girls and it physically made him sick that a guy had come between the two. He didn't know the whole story but the bits and pieces he did know didn't show his daughter in a good light. He loved his daughter but his mother taught him along time ago that sometimes being a good parent meant admitting when your child was wrong.

"Have you and Lucas talked about your options?" Larry asked.

Peyton wiped her tears and said in a matter of fact tone, "We're keeping the baby."

"I know you think it's a good…"

Peyton turned away from her father and looked out the window.

"Do you want me to get rid of it?" she asked.

Did he? Did he really want his daughter to have an abortion?

"Maybe. I mean I don't know. Have you and Lucas talked about it? Getting an abortion, I mean?" he asked.

She nodded but said nothing.

"And?" Larry asked.

Peyton took a deep breath.

"We want this baby," she said.

Larry pulled the car off the highway.

"Peyton, you have your whole life ahead of you. If you keep this baby your life and Lucas' life will never be the same again."

Peyton was silent for a moment.

"Did you and Mom ever think about getting rid of me?" she asked honestly.

"That was different Pey. We were married, stable and financially able to care for you," Larry explained.

She understood. Really she did but just because her and Lucas weren't married and still in high school didn't mean they wouldn't be good parents.

"Its my baby", she paused. "A tiny part of you and…Mom is growing inside of me."

She stumbled over the last part.

"I can't lose another person I love," Peyton sobbed.

Larry reached across the driver's seat and embraced his daughter in a hug that should have taken place years ago but because of his issues, didn't.

"I love you so much, Peyton. I know that I don't tell you often enough but you mean the world to me."

He wasn't telling her anything she didn't already know.

"I love you too, Dad. That's why I want to keep this baby. She's a part of me and as silly as it sounds I love her already", Peyton protectively touched her stomach.

Larry laid his hand on his daughter stomach, feeling where his grandchild was for the first time.

"I'll help you and the baby anyway I can," he promised with a heavyhearted sigh.

It was Peyton's turn to embrace her father.

"Thanks, Dad," she whispered.

She and her father had come to an agreement and that made her happy.

"Before you get too excited Peyton, I know you're not too happy about me moving home. I guess because you think I rather be working on the boat but quitting my job is something I've been thinking about for a while now," Larry explained candidly.

Her father loved his job.

"But Dad, you love what you do."

Larry nodded.

"You're right. I do but I love you so much more Peyton."

---------------

When Peyton and Larry arrived home an hour later they were surprised to see Haley moving out.

"Haley, you're leaving?" Peyton asked.

Haley nodded.

"Your dad told me he was moving home", she looked towards Larry. "So I figured you two could use sometime together."

"But…but Haley where will you live?" Peyton asked.

Haley looked towards the man currently rearranging the packages so they would all fit in his tiny car.

"With my husband," she stated.

Peyton grasped.

"You and Nathan?" she asked.

Haley laughed.

"Who else?"

Peyton jumped in her friend's arms, so happy that they had finally worked things out.

"Oh my gosh Haley, dude, I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, Pey. I'm pretty happy myself."

Peyton looked towards the car and shouted, "Nathan get your butt over here and give me a hug!"

Nathan, distracted by the high pitch sound, ended up hitting his head on the top on the trunk.

"Dammitt!" he muttered.

Both girls tried to hold in their laughter but one look from Nathan and they could no longer contain it.

"Oh! My! Gosh!" Haley giggled.

Nathan gave the girls an evil look and they both shut up quickly.

"Hey! That hurt," Nathan said.

Haley, walking to her husband, gently kissed him on the forehead.

"My poor baby," she said.

Nathan's arms circled her waist and ever so lightly his lips touched hers.

"Hmm, now I feel better," he muttered.

Haley nodded between kisses.

"I thought you would."

Forgetting for a moment that they had company, husband and wife got lost in each other lips. Peyton cleared her throat and looked towards her father, uncomfortable that her friends were basically making out in front of him. Larry shrugged it off. In his mind telling himself _they're young and in love_.

"Guys, we're standing right here," Peyton whined.

Nathan and Haley broke apart.

"Sorry!" Haley apologized.

Nathan only laughed at Peyton's whining for which he received a slap on the chest from his wife.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Nathan asked.

Both girls just rolled their eyes.

"Haley, I'm sure gonna miss having you here," Peyton said.

"I'm gonna miss being here," Haley said, getting teary eyed.

"We sure did have some good times this summer." Peyton remembered.

Haley nodded

"We sure did, didn't we?"

Peyton looked away from her friend.

"I can't believe you and Nathan are back together. Everything is changing so fast. First Brooke's gone and now you too. I feel like I'm losing everyone."

Haley stepped towards Peyton.

"Peyton…"

"No, I'll be okay. I just need some time," she said.

Haley watched helplessly while Peyton ran into the house. Her intent was to follow but Larry stopped her.

"Give her some time, Haley. She's just upset about Brooke leaving I'll talk to her," Larry said.

Haley didn't look too convinced. Nathan stepped in.

"Haley, why don't we head on home?"

Haley wanted to say something else but Nathan beat her to it.

"You can call her later tonight," he said.

Haley looked at her husband then Larry and reluctantly nodded her head in agreement.

"Maybe you're right. Let's go home Nathan," she whispered.

Nathan's arms encircled his wife's but she stepped out of them and looked at Larry.

"Tell her I love her," she said softly.

It was Larry's turn to nod.

"I will, Haley. You two be careful driving home."

He turned to go into the house but stopped.

"I don't know if I've thanked you two yet but what you do, taking care of Peyton and her baby…I don't know how to repay you," he said sincerely.

"She's our friend," Nathan responded. "We did what any good friends would do."

"Well, thanks for being there just the same," Larry said appreciatively.

-----------------

Peyton felt stupid for acting like a little baby. She should have been happy for her friend and she was but everything in her life was changing. First her best friend left the state, then her other good friend was moving out, and her dad was moving home on top of all that. The latter kind of made her happy. It had been so long ago since she had lived with her father. It would take some adjusting but they would get used to each other again. She was sure of it. And maybe Haley leaving the house wasn't such a big change after all, she thought. They would still see each other at school and on the weekends. It wouldn't be like it was before only this time Haley would be happy. Anything was better than listening to her friend crying all the time.

Knock, Knock 

Peyton turned over on the bed.

"Come in," she said.

Walking in, Larry took a seat next to his daughter on the bed.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked.

Peyton shook her head.

"No, not really."

"Well, when you're ready, I'm here for you," Larry said.

He got up to leave but Peyton pulled him back.

"Don't leave."

He took a seat and waiting.

"I acted like a child down there. Was Haley upset?"

"She understood. Anyway, she was more worried about you than herself", Larry explained.

"I'll call her later," Peyton said.

"I told her you would."

"Thanks."

"So do you want to tell me what's really bothering you?" Larry asked.

Peyton smirked.

"I'm that obvious, huh?"

"You always were," he responded.

She laughed.

"Yeah, I guess I am. You know, Brooke used to say…" her voice trailed off. "I miss her so much, Dad and I know it's my fault that she's gone but she's my best friend. I just don't know if I can get through all this without her", Peyton sobbed.

Larry cradled his daughter in his arms.

"I know she is, Pey. Someday you two will be friends again."

"But when? What if she never forgives Lucas and me?" Peyton cried.

"She may not." Larry said.

He saw the look on his daughter's face but continued knowing she needed to hear the truth.

"What you and Lucas did was wrong, Peyton. I know you know that."

"We make a mistake," she defended.

"Peyton, some mistakes, simply saying you're sorry won't fix them. Do you understand?"

Peyton nodded.

"Brooke may never forgive me."

Her voice cracked with emotion.

"I'm sorry, honey. I wish I could fix this for you but part of being older is realizing that the choices you make sometimes have consequences."

"But I never meant to hurt her."

"I know you didn't, sweetie."

"I just wish she knew how sorry I was", Peyton wept.

"You know what I think?"

Peyton raised her eyebrows.

"I think wherever Brooke is, she just might know that", Larry answered.

"I hope you're right, Dad. I really hope you're right."

-----------------

Lucas just finished another dinner that he hadn't eaten a bite of. He had been doing that a lot lately. His heart just wasn't really to let go and every night at the dinner table his mother and him would have the same conversation.

"_Lucas, you have to eat," Karen would say. _

"_I'm just not hungry, Mom." _

_Karen's face would soften and she would say something like, "Lucas, you haven't been hungry for days. Brooke wouldn't want you to stave yourself."_

He would laugh bitterly. "Actually Mom, right about now I think she would," 

It was then that Lucas would excuse himself and go to the sanctuary of his room, which is where he found himself after another dreadful dinner with his mother. Lucas was all but drowning in self pity by the time Haley found him.

"Your mom call me", Haley said while turning on the light.

Lucas didn't even look up from his pillow.

"She's worried about you, you know." Haley finished.

Silence 

"Come on. What happened to my best bud?"

It was then that Lucas looked up and Haley could clearly see that he had been crying.

"Have you talked to Brooke?" he asked.

"No", she responded.

"I don't know what to do, Hales. I keep calling and calling. She won't pick up the phone and I'm not even sure if she's listening to my messages."

Haley noticed the cell phone clutched in his hand.

"I just want to hear her voice," Lucas cried.

"Lucas, you have to give her some time. She'll call you, she'll call us when she's ready."

"You don't understand, Haley." Lucas said bitterly. "She called Peyton her second night in the hospital. She wanted to make sure she and the baby were okay but when she heard me in the background she hung up. She hates me!"

Haley immediately understood what had been bothering her friend for the past week.

"Oh, Luke. I'm sure it's not like that."

She reached out to him but Lucas pushed her hand away.

"It is like that, Haley. Brooke fucking hates me and _now _she thinks me and Peyton are a couple."

"Why would she think that?" Haley asked, a little hurt that he pushed her away.

"It was past midnight when she called. What would you think?"

Haley thought for a moment.

"Lucas, she's only been gone for ten days. Sweetie, give her some time."

Lucas shook his head with tears streaming down his face.

"It doesn't matter how long. Brooke hates me! I've hurt her too much. She won't forgive me, not this time."

"Okay, fine." Haley said.

Lucas looked at her.

"Wha…what?"

"Fine! If you don't think she's gonna forgive you then she's not going to."

Lucas was shocked that Haley was talking to him like that.

"You know, Haley, I think my mom called you over here to cheer me up not make me feel worse."

Haley threw her hands in the air.

"You know Lucas I'm so sick of you and Peyton acting like you two were the only ones who lost her. Brooke was my friend, too!" Haley shouted.

"My life is over and all you can talk about is losing a friend?"

"Oh cry me a river, Lucas. You slept with her best friend! What the hell did you expect to happen?"

"I can't believe you just said that to me."

"Yeah, well guess what I did. Get over it!"

"What's your problem? Can't you see I'm a little heartbroken right now? Or does that even matter?"

"God, it's always about you," she replied.

"No, its not," Lucas protested

"Okay. Have you noticed anything different about me this last week?" Haley asked.

Lucas just looked at her, clueless.

Haley sneered.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I thought. You know, if you could think of someone else other than yourself for a change you might have known that Nathan and I are moving in together."

Silence 

She shook her head.

"I don't know why I thought you would even care. I'll see you around Lucas."

--------------------

_tbc…_


	20. Off Limits

_**A/N:**A lot of reviewers arewanting to know whether or not this is a B/L fic. Now I can't come right out and tell you because what would be the fun in that buttttt I will tell you that Lucas has made it clear, in his actions and his words, who he loves...hope that helps :D_

**Chapter 20) Off Limits**

A week had passed since Brooke's outburst and as strange as it sounded, she and Heather and her had become fast friends. Neither had left each other's side. Brooke spent most of her free time at Heather's house. It felt good to be apart of a real family again, Brooke found herself thinking one Friday afternoon. One of the things she missed most about Tree Hill was feeling like she was part of something special. Karen wasn't biologically her mother but inside, where it mattered most, she was and Brooke missed her terribly. Despite or maybe because of that bond, she still couldn't get past the hurt from Karen not telling her about Lucas and Peyton. She understood her reasons but all the same she still had a right to know. Brooke hated being lied to and that's essentially what Karen had done.

Then there were Tutor Wife and Tutor Husband. Both of them had known and kept mum as well. She hadn't always gotten along with the couple but Brooke had thought that they had finally become friends. What made it worst was Nathan saw her and Lucas coming out of the eraser room. He knew what had occurred between them and still not a word and Lucas was just as bad. Letting her do what she did, knowing that if she knew the real truth, it never would have happened. Everybody she loved and respected had lied to her. How in the world was she supposed to get past that? How in the world was she supposed to forgive that? And even if she could somehow forgive and forget, how could she ever forget a baby? It would always been there reminding her of Lucas and Peyton's betrayal. There was no way around any of it. Her life in Tree Hill was over and as easily as it was erased, made Brooke wondered if it ever really existed in the first place.

"So Princess, what are we doing tonight?" Heather asked.

Despite all her pleading, Heather still insisted on calling her by that sarcastic and ridiculous nickname,

"You know, I totally hate that, right? Why must you call me that? My name is Brooke. I mean, would it hurt you that much to call me by my name?"

Heather just laughed.

"Now what would be the fun in that?" she asked.

Brooke just rolled her eyes.

"Well you know, _Brooke,_ my brother is having a party and I was thinking maybe we could crash. It might be fun."

Brooke shook her head. She wasn't ready to be social just yet. Besides she was having too much fun being an outcast for once in her life.

"I don't know, Heather. Parties are so overrated. We could always pig out in front of the big screen," she suggested.

"Brooke! Come on! It's a Friday night I don't want to sit around and do nothing at home." Heather moaned.

"Watching reruns of Roswell can be very entertaining, not to mention, educating, thank you very much. Besides that Max guy is kind of cute, don't you think?"

"Ahh no! He looks like a giraffe! It's freaky how long his neck is."

Brooke giggled.

"Freakish long neck or not he's still cute and I totally love him and Liz."

"You do realize, they're make believe, you know the creation of that dude Mac or something."

Brooke sighed.

"His name is Mark."

Did the girl have a dysfunction with getting names right?

"Well, whatever. I still pass on watching that pointless show."

"Why not?" whined Brooke.

"Because there is no point to it. Max eventually cheats on her anyways with that girl Tess. They have a baby together blah, blah, blah. I don't care and neither should you."

Brooke's face frowned with disappointment.

"He cheats on her?" she softy asked.

" Sorry. I thought you knew."

Heather felt horrible for carrying on like that as cheating was still a touchy subject with Brooke.

"No. Um, I didn't," she whispered.

"Brooke, it's okay…"

"No. No, it's not. I mean, why do people have to cheat? Why can't they just be happy with what they have? I was happy! Dammit, I never thought about sleeping with another guy," she cried.

Heather touched her shoulder.

"To tell you the truth, I don't think Lucas did either."

She didn't personally know the guy but from what Brooke had said, minus the cheating part, he seemed like he really loved her.

Brooke stepped away.

"Please don't defend him," she whispered.

Heather opened her mouth to protest but Brooke interrupted her.

"What he did is unforgivable…end of story."

"Okay. You're right. I was in no way defending him. All I meant was, I don't think he ever set out to hurt you, you know, on purpose", Heather explained.

Brooke smirked.

"Well he always does."

She had told her bits and pieces of what happened but for the most part the topic of Tree Hill or Lucas had been strictly off limits.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Heather asked.

Brooke lowered her head and began to cry softly.

"This…this isn't the first time he's done this," she wept. "He did it once before. It was when we first started going out. He, he screwed around with Peyton then."

Heather closed her eyes, literally feeling her friend's pain.

"I don't know what to say. I didn't know, Brooke. I'm sorry."

"How could you? I just feel so stupid, Heather. You would think I would have learned my lesson the first time around but no not me. Not stupid Brooke Davis" she laughed bitterly through tears. "I'm the type that likes to stick around…you know to see how long and how much I can suffer."

"Brooke! Don't say that. Look, if this Lucas guy can't see what a great girl you are then he doesn't deserve you."

Brooke closed her eyes and let one solitary tear fall.

"I just wish things could have been different. I, I just wish he could have loved me back somehow."

Heather reached over and wiped her friend's tear.

"You listen to me. Brooke Davis, I have only known you for like a week and I already love you. You're the best friend I've ever had so no more talking or crying about Lucas Scott or that bitch Peyton Sawyer, you hear me?"

She laughed.

"Okay."

"Okay. So do you want to go to that party or not?" Heather asked for the second time that night.

On impulse Brooke finally agreed.

"Okay, okay, Friend. You totally talked me into it. I'll go."

Heather clapped "Yay!"

-------------------

Haley had gone to bed feeling awfully guilty and had woken up feeling the same way. She hadn't meant to go off on Lucas like that but something inside of her had just snapped. Peyton and Lucas weren't the only ones who had lost Brooke and she was sick and tired of them moping around like they were. If they took a minute to look around them they would have seen that a lot of people were broken up about her leaving. 

"Babe, do you think I was too hard on Lucas?" Haley asked, early the next morning.

Nathan wasn't sure how to answer. Last night he said no and she had jumped all over him. He wasn't sure he wanted to know what would happen if he said yes.

"Hales, do we have to talk about this now? It's still early."

"Well I was justified in what I said", she paused. "Wasn't I?"

"You were", Nathan tried to reassure her.

"Maybe. I just wish I hadn't lost my temper. I wasn't exactly nice."

"Please! You? Not nice? Come on. Hales, you're like the nicest person I know", Nathan teased.

"Well, I wasn't very nice last night. In fact, I think I might have told him to go cry himself a river."

Nathan chuckled.

"Stop it. Don't laugh. That it wasn't very nice," Haley said while trying to hold in her own laughter.

"It might not be nice but it is funny. In fact it's probably the funniest thing I've heard in a while."

"I just hope he took what I said to heart cause I meant most of it."

Nathan nodded. She had a point.

"It needed to be said. Maybe now he'll start living again inside of just existing."

_Ding, Dong_

Haley moved to get out of her chair but Nathan stopped her.

"I'll get it," he said.

Opening the door, Nathan wasn't the least bit surprised to see Lucas standing there. He and Haley could never stay mad for long. If it hadn't been him that morning, it would have been her that afternoon.

"Hey man. I figured you would make an appearance today," he said.

"Haley told you about our fight, huh?"

"That she did."

Lucas smiled. He knew Haley so well.

"Come on in. We're just having some breakfast. Want anything?" Nathan offered while walking backing into the kitchen.

"Nah. I'm okay but thanks."

Haley just sat there, starring at Lucas. Neither one said a word. Nathan looked to Haley and then to Lucas.

"I'm gonna go take a shower. You two should talk," he said.

Lucas walked further into the kitchen and took a sit next to Haley.

"Hey, Buddy. Look…I'm sorry about last night. Hales, I was…"

Before he could finish, she interrupted him.

"No, I'm sorry. I was being insensitive, Luke. I, I know how much you miss her."

"You're right. I do miss her but unfortunately life goes on whether I want it to or not," Lucas whispered.

"Things will get better," she assured him, touching his arm.

He nodded hopefully.

"You have a baby on the way and friends and family who love you so much, Lucas. Everything is going to be okay. You'll see."

"I know. I want so much to be good for you guys but I just feel like…like a piece of me is missing, Hales," he tried to explain.

She knew exactly how he felt. It was the same way she felt just a mere few months ago. Leaving Nathan behind for her music was the biggest mistake of her life.

"We're all here for you but you have to let us in. How am I supposed to help you when I haven't even spoken to you in a week?"

"Haley, we talked in school yesterday."

She sighed.

"I meant, when was the last time we _actually_ talked about something other than the weather?"

Lucas looked away.

"It's still to hard to talk about her."

Haley gently laid her hand on his.

"I'm your best friend we used to tell each other everything. Remember, Buddy?"

Lucas turned towards Haley.

"Of course I remember but I just…I can't talk about her yet but when I can you'll be the first one I come to. I promise."

"I better be," Haley whispered back. "I love you, Luke."

Lucas squeezed her hand.

"And I love you too Hales bells," he said.

"Lucas Scott!" she jokingly hit him on the arm. "I thought we decided that you would never again call me that."

Lucas smiled the first real smile in over a week.

"No, Hales bells, you decided that one. I always liked the name."

-----------------

"Damn girl! Look at you! Dude, how hot are you? The guys are gonna be all over you tonight." Heather grinned with approval.

Brooke smoothed her dress.

"You think so?" she asked.

She had been in town a little over a week and the nerves ran rampant at the thought of going to her first party.

"I know so. You are aware that the idea behind clothes is to cover up?"

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Oh shut up. And by the way, you look pretty hot yourself."

"Yeah, well I try," she said while taking a last look in the mirror. "Okay, so here's the deal…supposedly my lame ass brother invited some of his lame ass jock friends. So just try to stay away from them."

Brooke giggled.

"Are you kidding me? Jocks are the easiest to screw with," she said.

"Just stay away from them, okay? I've known them a lot longer than you and trust me, they're all bad news."

Brooke wasn't convinced but she agreed anyways.

"Yeah, sure, whatever. You're hogging the mirror. Let me look."

"Brooke, I'm not joking around. Promise me you'll stay away from them", Heather insisted again.

"Heather!"

Brooke looked towards her friend and saw she was dead serious.

"Okay, okay. I promise to stay away from the jocks," she said.

Satisfied, Heather moved out of the way.

"The mirror is all yours," she finally said.

Looking at herself in mirror, an intense feeling that something bad was going to happen came over Brooke.

"What do you mean, they're all bad guys?" Brooke asked.

"Just trust me," Heather whispered.

Brooke turned around and looked her friend in the eye. Heather hid it well but Brooke knew whatever happened to her had to do with them. Walking over the bed she sat down next to her.

"Why are they bad guys?" she asked again.

"What is this? Twenty questions? Besides, Brooke, it's none of your business. Damn!" Heather barked.

Brooke was taken back.

"Excuse me for giving a rat's ass and thinking that friends share things with one another; good or bad."

"Look, just cause you know me for a week doesn't mean I have to tell you everything." Heather yelled.

Brooke knew what exactly what Heather was doing because she had done it countless times herself.

"Heather, you don't have to push me away. You don't have to put that wall up. I won't hurt you."

Heather rolled her eyes.

"Don't pull that shit on me."

"Well, _you_ don't pull that shit on me either. You don't want to tell me? Fine but don't you dare push me away. We're friends, Heather!"

Heather softened at her words.

"I, I know…I just can't talk about it…right now. Look, I'm sorry…"

Brooke nodded.

"I understand…when you're ready I'm here."

She didn't know what had happened but Brooke knew it was only a matter of time before Heather would open up and tell her. A person could only hold things in for so long and she got the notion whatever it was, it was bad and it most definitely had to do with the jocks.

--------------

**tbc….**


	21. Play Nice

**A/N:** _The next **two** chapters have to deal with **adult issues** so you've been warned..._

**Chapter 21) Play Nice**

Heather was starting to worry. The party had been winding down for over an hour and there was still no sign of Brooke. They had lost each other somewhere in between the drinks and the dancing. She hadn't meant to walk off but Brooke had seemed to be enjoying herself and well, Heather had needed to pee.

"Bobby, have you seen Brooke?" Heather asked her very intoxicated brother.

"Noooo-pe!" he slurred.

Heather rolled her eyes.

"You're drunk!" she accused.

Bobby laughed and shrugged.

"That's usually what happens at parties."

Heather stomped her foot in frustration and concern for her missing friend, having little patience for her brother.

"Dammit, Bobby are you gonna help me find her or not?"

"Chill out sis! She'll be alright. Brooke's a big girl."

"God, Bobby, you know, you're totally useless when you're this way!" she screamed.

Bobby laughed in response.

"There's nothing funny going on here. Sober up, jerk! We need to find Brooke."

"Here Sis!" he pushed his drink in her hand. "Have some beer. It might make you feel better."

Disgusted she handed it right back.

"When are you gonna grow up? You're supposed to be my big brother," she screamed.

In the midst of her tirade she felt an arm circle her waist. It made her cringe. _She knew that touch_.

"Hey Bobby," the boy said with a glint in his eye as he eyed Bobby's sister. "Heather."

Heather tried to step away from but his grip was too tight.

"Let me go," she said though clenched teeth.

He laughed.

"Now Heather be nice", he leaned in and whispered in her ear. "You know what happened the last time you were mean."

Heather gasped in shock. She looked towards her brother for help but he was too busy being drunk.

"He won't help you. Look at him. He's too drunk to even walk," the boy whispered.

Heather tried again to walk away again but he held tight.

"Where do you think you're going? Don't you want to stay and have some fun with me and my buddies?" he pointed to a group of drunken boys standing by the stairway.

"Yeah. Go have some fun with Josh, Heather." Bobby chipped in.

Heather eyes clouded over in fear. She desperately struggled to get out of his grasp but he was too strong.

"Please let me go," she cried.

"Now why would I want to do that?" Josh asked.

"Because I asked you to asshole," she yelled, surprised at her courage.

"Now, now Heather let's play nice or you just might not enjoy yourself."

She knew what he meant and it made her nausea.

"Why don't you come upstairs with us?" he asked.

"No! Now please let me go. I didn't tell last time and I won't tell this time so please just let me go," she pleaded.

He grinned.

"You not gonna tell this time either," he said matter of factly.

"Please just let me go," she sobbed. "You don't have to do this, Josh."

"Oh but I do Heather", he roughly groped her left breast. "I'll be looking at these all night," he whispered.

She could hear his buddies laughing and egging him on. His finger slid down her body stopping when he reached her breasts. He lowered his head, brutally biting her nipples through her shirt, causing Heather to cry out in pain.

Josh just smiled.

"You like that don't you?"

She tired to push his face and his creeping hand away but he wouldn't let go.

"Please stop it," she begged some more.

He was too strong. No matter how hard she kicked or how loud she screamed he wouldn't let go. Before Heather knew it, he was dragging her towards the stairs.

"Help me!" she screamed, looking towards her older brother for protection. "Bobby, help me! Help me, please!"

But no one came to her rescue. Everyone was gone. The more scared Heather became the more excited Josh got. She had to do something. She was running out of time.

"HELP ME!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, hoping that someone outside would hear her.

Josh laughed again. "No one can hear you scream," he gloated.

The night was going to be fun after all. He loved it when she put up a fight.

"I suggest you let go of her," a voice said firmly seemingly out of nowhere.

_Brooke! _

Josh smirked. He motioned for one of his friends to grab her but Brooke was prepared.

"I don't think so, asshole", she held up her cell phone. "The police are tracking this call. You have less than a minute to get the hell out of here."

His buddies backed up towards the door, fear and uncertainty clouding their once mischievously triumphant eyes.

"Man this is getting serious. Maybe we should go", his best friend Aaron, said.

Josh would not be deterred.

"The little bitch is bluffing. Grab her", he commanded.

None of his friends moved. The situation had begun to spiral dangerously out of control. They were just a bunch of young guys looking for a good time. They didn't want any _real_ trouble. Aaron was the first one to speak

"I'm leaving man", he looked towards the other guys. "Lets get out of here."

None of them could get out fast enough. An irate Josh turned his attention towards Brooke, beyond pissed that the pretty and petite brunette had ruined his night.

"Brooke, didn't Heather mention our special friendship?" he asked angrily.

"Just let her go! Your friends already left maybe it's time you took the hint, too."

"I'll leave when I'm ready, cunt", he spat out.

Brooke knew she physically wouldn't be able to stop Josh. She hurriedly looked around hoping to find something, anything to save Heather and herself.

"Just leave Josh!" Heather sobbed.

"Not till I'm ready baby."

He jerked her to his already excited body and angrily forced his tongue in her mouth.

"Let her go!" Brooke screamed.

Heather tried to push Josh away but failed.

Josh laughed, enjoying every minute of Heather's desperation.

"Don't worry baby. I'm leaving but this is far from over."

He pushed Heather to the ground and then looked dead in the eye Brooke.

"This is far from over you can count on that."

When he was gone, Heather ran towards Brooke's waiting arms thankful that she didn't have to experience the worst night of her life all over again.

Brooke had never been so scared in her life. She had dealt with psycho boys before but there was something about Josh. He scared the shit out of her.

"Oh…God…Brooke…thank you…" Heather cried.

"Come on. We need to get you out of here", she pulled Heather to her feet. "We'll go to my place. My parents are out of town."

Heather nodded.

"But what about the police?" she asked.

"I never called them," Brooke replied.

Heather gasped.

"But you said they…"

"I know what I said. I had to say something. I couldn't just let them hurt you."

Heather had never had a best friend before but at that moment, when Brooke so selflessly endangered herself to help her, she knew she had found one for life.

------------------------------

Once Haley and Lucas were friends again things in Tree Hill got back to normal or as normal as they had been since Brooke's departure.

"So what are we doing tonight Luke?" Haley asked while brushing her hair.

Luke looked up and smiled.

"Nathan has seen you at your worst, Hales. I don't think a little mud would make much difference to him."

Earlier the pair had gotten caught in a rainstorm, which had eventually turned into a mud fight. Lucas, of course, won.

"Well, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have had to wash my hair."

Lucas chuckled.

"It's not funny. You're the one that got mud in my eyes!"

"So. You're the one who turned around at the last minute," he said grinning.

Haley struck her tongue out.

"Whatever Luke. You cheated and you know it!" she said laughingly.

Luke didn't show it much anymore but Brooke leaving was still tearing him apart. Whenever he thought no one was looking, she could see the pain in his eyes and sometimes hear it in his voice. She knew from Peyton that Brooke hadn't been answering any of their calls. She didn't know how often Lucas was calling but she imagined it was a lot. Haley understood Brooke's need for privacy but she just wanted her best bud to be happy again and she knew without a doubt that only Brooke could make him happy.

"Have you talked to Brooke lately?" she tried to ask casually.

Lucas' smile quickly left his face. His body became tense.

"I don't want to talk about it Hales."

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Luke I…"

Lucas interrupted.

"Look, I know you just want to help but nothing you say or do is going to make me feel better so can we please just not talk about it?"

Haley sat next to him on the couch.

"Has she answered any of your calls?"

Lucas was silent for a moment.

"No", he ran his hands through her hair. "I've called her at least fifty times and probably left just as many messages and still nothing. I don't know what to do anymore, Hales."

Haley patted his thigh in encouragement as he continued.

"I want to give her some time butt I'm going crazy here. I want to hear her voice. I need to hear her voice!"

Haley nodded knowing full well the long and hard road Lucas had ahead of him. She had traveled it not too long ago with her own husband. It's not easy to forgive the ones who hurt you the most…that was something Nathan told her on more than one occasion.

"Just don't give up on her. Keep fighting for her."

Lucas looked at her.

"I don't know if I can," he said honestly. "Brooke has my heart. She always will but there are other things to think of now. Maybe there always was. I guess I just didn't want to see it. I just didn't want to admit there was a possibility that Brooke wouldn't forgive me."

"Luke, I know you don't want to hear this but you have no idea what it feels like to think the one you love was with someone else", she paused. "Remember last year when Nathan had that thing going with my sister?"

Lucas nodded, more than a little surprised that she knew.

"Nathan told me." she said. "I didn't know it was Taylor but I knew there was someone else and it broke my heart. I know now that nothing happened but it was…a horrible feeling. Something I would never wish on someone else."

"Hales I…" Lucas started.

"No. Listen to me. It broke my heart _thinking_ that something had gone on between my husband and another woman. Imagine how Brooke feels knowing something did go on between you and _her_ best friend."

Lucas looked away.

"God, Haley I wish I could take it back. I wish I could fix this."

"I know you do", she thought for a moment. "Maybe the only way to fix this is to make that big gesture."

Lucas looked at Haley, confused by what she meant.

"Is there a reason why you still haven't hopped on a plane yet?" she looked towards him. "I mean, why are you even here, Lucas? If I were you, I would be on the next plane to California."

"Do you think I hadn't thought of that?" he asked. "Cause I have but…"

"But what?" she interrupted. "Doesn't she deserve to be fought for?"

"You don't understand, Haley…what if I went down there and she told me she doesn't…love me anymore?" he looked away. "At least here I can foolishly believe she does."

Haley sighed.

"She loves you no matter what she says."

Lucas shook his head.

"Just think about it, okay?" she asked gently.

He nodded.

"Okay, good. Now what are you going to do tonight?" she asked again.

"I think I'm just gonna go home, Hales. I need to think about some stuff", Lucas said, standing on his way out the door

"Yeah, okay," she whispered, disappointed that their night was apparently over.

-------------------------------

The girls made it back to Brooke's place safely. Heather was lying on Brooke's bed when Brooke walked out of the bathroom and sat beside her.

"Heather, we need to talk," she said.

She nodded.

"I know."

She slowly sat up and then looked longingly towards the bathroom.

"Brooke, let me take a shower first and then we'll talk. I promise."

She deeply wanted the smell and taste of Josh off of her. Brooke wanted to protest but she decided against it when she saw the frantic look in her friend's eyes.

"Okay", she simply agreed.

Only when Brooke heard the steady flow of the water did she allow her own tears to fall. She wanted to be home. She wanted to be back in Tree Hill. She wanted to be with her friends. She wanted Lucas. The night had been the scariest of her life. She realized that not calling the police was the first mistake she had made but in her defense she didn't want Heather to get hurt in the meantime. She still couldn't stop picturing Josh forcing himself on Heather. Brooke was sure the image would haunt her for the rest of her life.

Brooke grabbed her phone desperately needing to hear a friendly voice. Her intention was to call Haley but her heart had another person in mind and before she could stop herself the phone was already ringing.

"Hello?" Lucas asked, breathless on the first ring. "Brooke? I know it's you. Are you there? Please talk to me."

"Oh God Lucas…I'm so scared," she sobbed.

Lucas jumped up.

"What's wrong? What happened?" he asked.

Brooke managed to get a few words out through her tears.

"Went to…party…guy…rape."

_Rape! _

He closed his eyes praying he had somehow misunderstood her.

"Brooke, you need to calm down and tell me everything that happened."

She couldn't stop crying.

"I can't…"

Dammitt!

"Brooke, baby, you have to talk to me."

"I'm scared…" she cried again.

"I know you are, honey. Look, you're starting to scare me too but I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong." he said. "Please let me help you."

Then he heard nothing. No tears. No sobs. Just silence. She couldn't talk, she could barely breathe.

"Brooke!" Lucas screamed into the phone.

_What was she doing? He broke her heart not once but twice. She shouldn't be talking to him._ _He was just going to hurt her again. _

"I, I'm sorry…I shouldn't have called." Brooke whispered.

Lucas slowly sank onto his bed.

"What?"

Brooke swallowed her tears.

"I…shouldn't have called. It…was a mistake. I…don't need you," she whispered.

But then why did the voice in her head keep saying she did.

_Click_.

Lucas looked at the phone in complete and utter shock. He had no idea what in the hell had just happened but he sure as hell was gonna find out.

-----------------tbc-------------------

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	22. My Fault

**A/N:** _First I just want to say that I was overwhelmed with all the wonderful reviews! Thank you guys so much, it means the world to me...Also a big shout out goes to **Mal** (gooseles) because without her you guys wouldn't be getting an update!_

**WARNING: **This Chapter is only suitable for adults for it contains sensitive subject matters. Read at your own risk...

**Chapter 22) My Fault**

Brooke wiped her eyes and tried to ignore the familiar ringing of her phone. Lucas was calling…again. He had been since she'd hung up some 15 minutes before. She hadn't intended to call him. He was the last person in the world she should have been talking to. He had broken her heart one too many times and she wasn't about to give him another opportunity to do so again. But she couldn't help but wonder why out of everyone, she called him? What was it about Lucas Scott that always seemed to draw her in? Why couldn't she just forget all about him? Why was he never far from her mind or her _heart_? Hadn't she been through enough already? Why did she have to constantly be reminded of him and what he had done?

"Who was on the phone?" Heather whispered.

Brooke looked up to see Heather in her pajamas with her hair-dripping wet.

"Huh?" she asked.

Heather pointed to her phone.

"Oh um…wrong number", she lied.

Heather nodded. Brooke was a horrible liar.

"How are you feeling?" Brooke asked, changing the subject, nevertheless concern written all over her face.

Heather rubbed her hands together, something she always did when she was nervous.

"Okay I guess."

She sank on the edge of the bed looking everywhere but at Brooke. Brooke waited and waited for Heather to bring up the unenviable but it didn't seem like she wanted to talk about it.

"You know you don't have to tell me", Brooke assured her. "I mean, if you want to, I'm here but you don't have to."

Heather lay down and faced Brooke on the bed.

"No. It's okay. I guess I need to tell someone.

Brooke nodded. Heather wasn't sure she could actually tell Brooke everything that had happened to her. It was too horrible.

"Are you sure you want to hear this?" Heather asked.

Brooke took Heather's hand in hers and squeezed gently.

"You can tell me as much or as little as you want." she whispered.

Heather closed her eyes.

"I was fifteen," she began…

"_Hey, Heather, you comin' to the party tonight?" _

_Heather grinned. Josh, the most popular guy in school had been dropping hints all week long that he wanted her to be his date at the end of the year bash. _

"_I think so."_

"_Cool." he replied. "Is your brother gonna be there?" _

"_Nah. He's going out of town for the weekend. Some kind of father and son camping thingy."_

_Josh smiled. _

"_Good then I guess it's just you and me, right?" _

"_Yeah. Just you and me", Heather answered. _

"_Meet me there about 9 pm, okay?" _

_Heather nodded._

"_Okay." _

_Josh just winked. _

"_That's my girl."_

_**Ring, Ring…**_

"_I have to get to class," he said. "But don't forgot tonight at 9pm."_

"_No. I won't forget." Heather assured him. _

_----------_

_It was her first real party without her brother by her side and she was having a blast. The music was blaring and alcohol flowing but she didn't care. She felt like a grown-up... _

"_Heather, you wanna dance?" Josh found her again._

_She smiled._

"_Yeah! I love this song." _

_Truthfully she didn't know the name of the song but it didn't matter. Josh Harwood, the boy whose attention she had been trying all year to get, finally decided to give it to her. They danced to numerous songs and it was fun but it was getting late and she had a 1:00 am curfew. _

"_I have to get going Josh," she finally said. "My mom will kill me if I'm not home on time."_

_Josh nodded. _

"_One more song," he begged. _

_Heather looked at her watch, 12:54 am. _

"_Okay!" she agreed. _

_What were a few minutes anyway? Her mom would understand. _

" _One more dance but then I really have to go." _

_He grinned. _

"_Whatever you say."_

_5 songs and 20 minutes later Heather really had to go. _

"_I have to go", she whined. "My mother is going to murder me."_

_Josh pulled her close to his body. Heather thought he was going to kiss her but instead he whispered in her ear._

"_Come upstairs with me," he said. " I want to show you something."_

_Heather looked towards the stairs and then at her watch again._

"_Five minutes!" he promised. _

"_I don't know", she said. "I'm not sure…"_

"_Come on, baby. I just want to show you the view from my bedroom." he said. " It's kind of romantic." _

_Heather smiled like a schoolgirl. _

"_Okay."_

_Josh walked her up to his room hand in hand. Opening to door, he gently pushed her in. Darkness._

"_I can't see", Heather said. "Turn the lights on."_

"_Whatever you say, baby." _

_Josh flicked the lights on. She smiled strangely. _

"_What are they doing here?"_

_She pointed to the six boys standing off to the side._

"_Oh they wanted to see the view too." Josh explained._

"_Okayyyyy", she said, wierded out that they had been waiting in the dark. _

_Heather walked over to the window. _

"_Josh, all you can see are trees," she frowned. "This isn't very romantic." _

_Click. Heather heard the knob being locked into place. She turned around._

"_Why did you lock the door?" she asked._

"_I don't want the view to run away", Josh sneered with an evil glint in his eye._

_Heather rolled her eyes. _

"_Oh come on. It's just a bunch of trees, Josh." _

_His buddies laughed. _

_Okay did she miss something? What was so funny? _

"_Right!" she said. "Okay, so I'm just gonna go now." _

"_Not so fast!" one of the boys said while grabbing her._

"_Get off me!" she screamed. _

_Justin, the boy, just laughed and then threw her on the bed. Heather backed up against the headboard. _

"_Please just leave me alone", she began to plead. _

_Justin started to undo his jeans as Heather shook her head back and forth._

"_No…no…no please don't do this."_

_-------------_

"I tried to get away but they wouldn't let me pass." Heather cried.

Brooke was crying as well. Her friend had been brutally hurt not by one but by seven heartless guys.

"I cried. I kicked. I screamed. I bit. I did everything. I did everything I could!" she sobbed. "But they wouldn't stop. Why wouldn't they stop? I wanted them to stop so badly."

Brooke closed her eyes and tried to block the images, the images she was sure haunted Heather still.

"No one came to help me," she wept. "I screamed as loud as I could but still…no one came."

Heather felt Brooke's arms circle her but she pushed them away.

"No!" she screamed. "Don't you get it? This is my fault! I deserved what happened. This is all my fault."

"What?" she asked. "Heather, it is not your fault. Do you hear me? What happened wasn't your fault."

Heather looked away.

"Those boys are to blame," she said. "They did this, not you…not you!"

Heather shook her head.

"I shouldn't have gone up there. It was stupid. I knew better…but I liked him so much, Brooke. I just wanted him to like me back," she cried.

"I know, Heather. I know." Brooke said.

Heather wiped at her tears and laughed bitterly.

"He just stood there and watched while his friends took turns. I screamed and screamed for him to help me and…and he just stood there and watched. And then, then it was his turn."

Brooke closed her eyes.

My God! What had they done to her? 

"Heather, you have to tell someone."

"No!" she screamed. "No can know Brooke. No one. You have to promise."

"But…but Heather they should be punished for what they did to you."

Heather smirked.

"You honestly think anyone is going to believe me? The head case bitch?"

"But…"

"No! It's my choice and I don't want anyone to know. Promise. Promise me you won't tell anyone."

Brooke didn't want to hurt Heather but she needed to tell the police before the jerks did it to someone else.

"I can't…"

"Brooke, please! Please promise me!"

Brooke tilted her head and closed her eyes.

"Okay." she said. "I promise I won't tell anyone."

Heather nodded satisfied.

"Thanks", she whispered. "I'm gonna go take a shower."

"But…but you just took one."

"I know. I, I can…still smell him," she whimpered.

Heather had her hand on the doorknob when she stopped.

"Brooke?" she said.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for saving me tonight."

Brooke nodded.

"No problem. You would have done the same for me, right?"

"Yeah…" Heather said.

_Of course she would have. _

--------------------

"Hales, I need your help." Lucas said. "Can you meet me at my house?"

"Luke, it's nearly…"

"Please, Haley. I think Brooke is in trouble."

"I'll be there. Give me ten minutes," she said.

Nathan looked at his wife.

"Haley, I thought we were gonna…"

"And we will, I promise", she said. "But right now I have to go help Lucas. I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Now? Damn. Haley, it's nearly midnight", he said. "Look, I'm coming with you."

Haley smiled with relief.

"I was hoping you'd say that."

Fifteen minutes later… 

Haley let herself into the back of Lucas' house so not to wake Karen.

"You're late", Lucas said.

Haley looked guiltily at Nathan.

"Sorry. We got here as soon as we could."

"What's going on, man?" Nathan asked.

Lucas took a deep breath.

"Brooke called me", he replied softly.

"What? Oh my God! When?" Haley asked.

"Tonight", he said. "She was crying."

Haley sat on the edge of the bed.

"I'm scared. I think she was raped," he whispered.

Haley grasped.

"What? What happened?" she asked.

"I don't know." Lucas responded, flustered. "All she said was party, guy, rape and then she hung up on me."

Lucas wiped at his eyes not wanting Nathan to see him cry.

"Have you tried calling her back?" Nathan asked with a dry mouth.

"Of course!" Lucas snapped. "But she won't pick up."

"What you going to do?" Haley sighed.

Lucas thought for a moment.

"I'm going to California."

------------

tbc…._you know what to do :D_


	23. Sometimes Love Just Isn't Enough

**A/N:** _Thanks so much for the reviews; you guys keep blowing me away!_ _I was kind of unsure whether or not the 'rape' was written appropriately. I didn't want it to be rushed or have it seem like it was unimportant so I'm glad that you guys approved. :D_

**Chapter 23) Sometimes Love _Just_ Isn't Enough**

After Heather's second shower, she managed to get to finally fall asleep but it wasn't long before she was tossing and turning.

"Stop it…" Heather muttered. "No! Stop, please!"

Brooke turned on the lamp and gently nudged her restless friend.

"Hey. It's okay. No one is here but you and me," she tried to assured her.

Heather quickly opened her eyes. She looked at her surroundings and then she remembered. Tears formed in her eyes before she could stop them. She reached for Brooke, needing to feel someone else next to her. Someone she trusted.

"Sshh Heather. No one is going to hurt you," Brooke promised. "I won't let them."

It wasn't long before Heather fall asleep again. The poor girl was exhausted, physically and emotionally. Brooke on the other hand couldn't sleep. Her mind was racing. She couldn't stop thinking about the party and Heather's confession. It was a mistake to promise her that she wouldn't say anything, how could she not? What happened was every girl's worst nightmare and something needed to be done. But what?

Brooke was interrupted.

_Ask her if she wants to stay awhile_

_And she will be loved_

_And she will be loved_

Her cell phone was ringing and that song meant only one person could be calling: _Lucas._

He must have called 20 times since she hung up on him. _Didn't he understand that she wanted to be left alone?_

"You have to stop calling, Lucas," she said. "I don't have anything to say to you."

"You answered..."

"Look, Lucas I shouldn't have called you…" started Brooke.

"No," he interrupted. "I'm glad you called me."

"At least one of is", she muttered defiantly.

"I tried calling you back a few times but you never answered."

"Lucas, don't you think there was a reason why I didn't answer?"

"Look, I don't want to fight", he said softy, ignoring her earlier comment. "I just called to tell you that I bought a plane ticket."

Brooke's heart skipped a beat.

"Plane ticket? To where?" she asked in a low voice fearing she already knew the answer.

"To you", he simply answered.

Brooke stomped her foot.

"Dammit, Lucas, why in the hell did you do that for?" she asked. "I don't want you here or any where near me for that matter."

"But last night..." he said. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I would be fine if you would just leave me alone!" she stated angrily.

"I can't do that. I need you in my life Brooke. I love you."

He was losing her and he knew it. On the other end of the line and the other side of the country, Brooke rolled her eyes. He still didn't get it. What he did was unforgivable.

"Please stop calling me, Lucas," she whispered.

"I can't, Brooke. I'm sorry. I just can't do that. I love you," he repeated again.

Brooke closed her eyes.

"We're over Lucas," she spoke softly.

"But Brooke…"

"Please understand this, Lucas" she interrupted. "I can't have anything to do with you or…Tree Hill for that matter anymore."

"But last night…"

"Would you just forget last night? It didn't mean anything, okay?"

"No!" he spoke strongly. "You called me...because you needed me and because, because you still love me."

Brooke shook her head.

"No...no! Lucas I don't love you. Not anymore", she said trying to convince herself as well as him.

Lucas sighed.

"Then why did you call me?"

"I, I don't know. I called you but I was…scared," she said. "I guess I needed to hear a familiar voice. You're the first…"

"What happened last night?" he whispered. "Tell me, Brooke. Please. Did someone hurt you?"

"I'm…okay," she murmured.

Physically, yes, she was but emotionally, she was anything but. Lucas was afraid to ask but he had to know the truth.

"Did…did someone rape you last night?"

"No…not me" she whispered. "My friend…when she was fifteen and they tried again last night."

Lucas closed his eyes.

"Oh God…" he gasped. "Is she okay?"

Brooke looked over at Heather, asleep on the bed.

"For now…" she answered. "Why do guys do that?"

She never understood why some guys took great pleasure in hurting those weaker than them. But Lucas had no answers.

"I don't know…I really don't know. It's a horrible thing, Brooke."

She wanted to stay and talk to him forever. She missed him so much but she couldn't. He was going to be a father to her best friend's baby.

"I have to go Lucas", Brooke said.

"But Brooke…"

"Please don't call me again and please, please if you ever loved me then you won't come here", she begged.

"Ever loved you? Brooke…"

"Please!" she interrupted. "I have a new life here, one that doesn't involve you."

"But what about your old life? What about me?"

"You and me…us, we don't exist anymore. It's you and Peyton now," she sobbed.

"No! Brooke I don't believe that. And I know deep down, you don't believe it either. We existed! We exist! Why can't you see that?" he cried.

"Why can't I see that?" she asked. "Maybe because I go away for three months, Lucas. Three months and _YOU_ get Peyton pregnant. How am I supposed to trust us…or you again?"

Lucas closed his eyes.

"Do you ever think you'll be able to forgive me?" he asked softly.

Brooke wiped away her tears.

"No…no, I con't", she whispered.

"I need to see you Brooke…to apologize."

"No. That's not a good idea. It just reminds me of what I can't have."

"But we can have it, Brooke…me and you."

"No, we can't! You got my best friend pregnant!" she screamed. "We're over…"

"NO! I won't believe that! I refuse!"

"You don't have a choice Lucas", Brooke whispered. "Look, I have to go."

"Wait! Please!" he begged. "I need you, Brooke. I can't lose you. I love you."

"When are you going to get it Lucas? Sometimes love _just_ isn't enough." she cried.

-------------------------

Peyton hadn't been hanging around much with anyone lately. She was severely depressed and no matter how hard her Dad or Haley tried, they couldn't get her to lighten up. She spent a lot of her time drawing in her room. If she wasn't at school then she was in her room. Over the last few weeks it had become her haven. A place where she could shut out reality. It was easier that way or at least that's what she kept telling herself.

"Peyton?" Larry yelled from downstairs. "Are you here?"

Peyton rolled her eyes. They went through the same thing every night. He would come home from work, yell her name, come upstairs, and invite her to dinner and every night she would decline.

"I'm upstairs, Dad," she yelled back. "Where else would I be?" she wanted to mutter under her breath.

"There you are," he smiled, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. "Hey, how does Karen's hamburgers sound for dinner?"

Peyton sighed.

"About as good as it sounded yesterday."

"Pey…" he began.

"No", she interrupted. "Please just leave me alone. I'm not a social butterfly. I never was and I never will be."

Larry sighed in frustration.

"Did you go to your doctor's appointment today?" he asked.

"Yes, Dad, I went. Would you like to call and make sure?" she snapped.

"Dammit, Peyton!" he yelled. "I'm trying here, you could too."

Peyton laughed bitterly.

"What for? I'm having a baby with a boy who doesn't love me and probably resents me for getting pregnant in the first place."

Larry's face softened. It was hard for him to remember that his little girl was going through so much.

"Lucas doesn't resent you, Peyton."

"Oh really? Is that why I haven't heard from him in four days?" she accused. "He didn't even show up for my doctor's appointment."

"I'm sure he had a good reason", Larry tried. "Lucas isn't the type to just not show up."

Peyton rolled her eyes.

"Yeah. I'm sure it had _something_ to do with Brooke", she mumbled, jealousy evident in her voice.

Larry patted the space next to him on the bed.

"Come here, Peyton", he beckoned. "Slide over, honey."

Peyton lips trembled.

"Just leave me alone..."

It broke his heart seeing his little girl so unhappy. If he could somehow fix the mess for her he would have.

"You know it's okay to cry", he whispered. "I won't tell anyone."

But she didn't want to cry. She done enough of that the last few days. The last few months if one wanted to get technical. She wiped her eyes before her tears had a chance to even fall.

"I won't cry anymore", she declared.

"Peyt…"

"No!" she yelled. "I'm tired of being unhappy, of crying all the damned time. I won't have this baby feeling this way."

"Then don't."

Her dad stated that like it was the easiest thing in the world.

"That's easy for you to say", she accused. "Your best friend doesn't hate you and your boyfriend isn't…"

Peyton stopped herself because she realized that she have a boyfriend.

"Your boyfriend isn't what, Peyton?" Larry asked.

He knew who and what she was talking about but he knew she needed to say it out loud. She needed to let it all out.

Peyton shook her head. What was the point in talking about something you couldn't change?

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Well I guess I can't make you," he said. "But if you ever what to talk about it..."

"I know, I know I can always come to you", she said. "I've heard it all before."

Didn't anyone understand it was too hard to talk or even think about Jake? He was gone. She hadn't heard from him and probably wasn't going too. What was there left to say?

"Peyton, it's okay to miss him. I'm sure Jake…"

"Please! I don't want to talk about him," she pleaded, glancing down at her growing stomach. "Its over between us. It has to be."

"Have you tried contacting him?" Larry asked.

Peyton snickered.

"Yes...I've e-mailed him _and _called him a hundred times it feels like."

"And?"

"And what?" she asked. "He never returned the e-mails or called me back."

Larry nodded.

"Well, I'm sure he has his reasons."

Peyton shook her head.

"They always do", she mumbled. "I don't know why I thought he would be different."

"I'm gonna tell you something Peyton...that I probably shouldn't but I'm going to anyways", he said. "The only person stopping you from being happy is _you_."

"Way to cheer me up, Dad. I knew I could always count on you", Peyton said mockingly.

"I'm just saying. Only you can make yourself happy. Not me, not Haley, not Brooke, not Lucas…even _Jake _can't", he paused for a minute. "I know you love him Peyton...but you made choices while he was away, choices you have to live up to, choices you can't take back."

Would Peyton listen to her Dad? Would she choose to be happy with or without Jake? Larry wasn't sure but he had said his peace and that was all he could do. The rest was up to her. Her life, her choice.

--------------------------------------------------

Peyton wasn't sure why she ended up on Lucas' doorstep at midnight but she knew they needed to talk.

_Knock, knock_

"It's open," yelled Lucas from the other side.

He figured it was Haley checking up on him. She had been doing that a lot lately. But Peyton poked her head through the door.

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Sure," he whispered softly.

He sat upright on his bed.

Peyton shyly smiled and took a seat at his desk.

"You missed my appointment today", she shrugged.

"Oh God! Peyt…"

"I can't do this on my own, Lucas", she began softly. "I know you're going through a lot...with Brooke and everything but this is your child, too."

"I know. I'm sorry. I just forgot...about the appointment, that is", he said apologetically.

Peyton nodded and looked down.

"I just, I just really wanted you there for some reason", she confessed quietly.

Lucas ran his hands through his hair.

"I miss Jake...and I miss Brooke. I feel all alone in this pregnancy, Lucas."

"I'm sorry Peyton", he repeated. "What do you want from me?"

Peyton looked up.

"What do I want from you? I want you to be this baby's father like we agreed."

"I know. Okay? I'm just going through a lot right now…"

"Well, so am I, Lucas. Is it too much to ask that you be at _your_ baby's doctor's appointment?"

Lucas closed his eyes. He screwed up…yet again.

"You're right. No excuses. I should I have been there," he said. "I'm really sorry that I wasn't."

Peyton nodded, accepting his apology.

"What did the doctor say?" he asked.

"Nothing really," she said. "He just wanted to make sure I was sleeping and eating right."

"And are you?" Lucas asked.

Peyton shrugged.

"As much as I can, I guess."

Lucas nodded.

"Good. I'm glad. Did he say whether the baby was doing alright?"

Peyton smiled.

"She's great. She's perfectly fine."

"Good. That's real good."

Peyton looked around the room trying to think of something to say but Lucas beat her to the punch.

"Brooke called me", he whispered out of the blue.

"She did?" asked Peyton, surprised. "Well, what did she want? I mean, was everything okay?"

Lucas looked down.

"I think it's over this time between us, Peyton...I think its really over", he cried.

Peyton closed her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Lucas", she whispered. "I never wanted to come in between you two."

"I know you didn't...and you're not the only one to blame. That night was my responsibility too. I never thought it would really end but I just realized something...I have to let her go."

"You can't let her go," she said. "You love her too much. Lucas, you have to fight for her."

Lucas shook his head.

"I can't...she doesn't want me too. She doesn't want me anymore."

"I know Brooke. Don't give up on her, Lucas. Fight for her and never stop."

Lucas turned to other way so Peyton wouldn't see his tears.

"She told me if I ever loved her, I would leave her alone."

Peyton sighed.

"Luke…"

"I have to respect her wishes, Peyton. I owe her that much."

Peyton tried to reason with him.

"But you love her, Lucas...and she loves you."

Lucas smiled sadly. He remembered what Brooke said to him earlier.

"Sometimes love _just _isn't enough", he whispered.

-------------

tbc…

_please leave me a nice, longreview…_


	24. Epic Love

**Chapter 24) Epic Love**

After hanging up, Brooke took one last look at Heather asleep on the bed and headed towards the shower. Once under the scorching water Brooke felt better. She felt almost like herself again, the carefree, fun-loving teenage girl who never let anyone in. In a weird sense the burning water was washing away the past few days, hell the past few months. She was in her own little world were Lucas never slept with Peyton and where she still lived happily ever after in Tree Hill with her friends. But the feeling didn't last long.

_Knock, Knock._

"Brooke?" Heather asked through the door.

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, Brooke turned off the water and grabbed a towel off the rack. Warping it around her slender body she yelled through the door.

"Come in!"

Heather slowly opened to door.

"Hey. Um, my mother called and she wants me to come home. I have to watch my little cousin this afternoon," she explained.

Brooke nodded. Surprised that Heather could act so _normal _while she was finding it hard not to cry.

"Okay but look. Heather, we should really talk about…" Brooke began.

Heather turned away.

"Just forget about it. It happened and talking about it, isn't going to make me feel better."

She turned around and walked back into Brooke's room signaling the end of the conversation leaving the wet and towel clad brunette with no other choice except to follow suit.

"But they hurt you." Brooke continued.

She reached out to embrace her but Heather pushed her away.

"It happened a long time ago. It's forgotten, " she defended. "Why can't you just leave it alone?"

"Because it did happen and you need to talk about it, if not with me then with someone," she tried to reason.

Heather took a deep breath and foolishly wiped her eyes, feeling dumb for crying in the first place.

"I can't, okay…I just can't." she whispered.

Brooke didn't want to push the issue but Heather needed help, more help than she felt she could give her.

"But Heather…"

Heather cut her off mid sentence.

"No! My mind is made up. No one knows and no one finds out, okay? Dammitt, you promised, Brooke!"

Brook looked away, biting at her lip.

"Then this is one promise I'm going to have to break. I'm sorry," she said softly.

Heather closed her eyes.

"But you promised," she murmured. "You promised me, Brooke."

The secret nightmare that had lived inside her was now about to become public reality. It was Heather's biggest fear realized.

Brooke sat on the bed.

"I know."

"No! No, you don't know. You can't, Brooke! If you did…if you did, then you wouldn't tell. Brooke, you can't do that. You promised me!" Heather cried.

"Heather, I know I did but I can't just sit here and do nothing. You, you have to tell someone. You need help."

Heather shook her head.

"I dealt with it when I was fifteen, I can deal with it now," she yelled, desperately trying to convince Brooke that she was okay.

Brooke tilted her head to the side.

"But you shouldn't have to deal with it by yourself. That's why you need to tell someone…even if it's just a counselor."

"But I did tell someone. I told you, didn't I?" she asked. "Why isn't that enough? Why can't you be enough?" she wailed.

"I don't know how to help you."

"I'm not asking you to help me, Brooke. I'm just asking that you be there," she finished.

"Of course I'll be there Heather…you're the only friend I have." Brooke sobbed. "That's why is so hard for me to…to just, to just let this go."

Heather sat down next to Brooke on the bed. Taking a deep breath, she spoke in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Can we…can we just keep it between us for now? Please," she practically pleaded.

Brooke looked ready to argue.

"Heather…"

"When I'm ready…I promise I'll go talk to someone," she whispered. "But you have to let me come to that point on my own."

Brooke looked her in the eyes and still wasn't convinced that she was telling the truth but for the moment she decided to let it slide.

"Okay," she said softly. "Okay, it will stay between us…for now."

Heather nodded with relief.

"Thank you. Look, I have to go," she said. "My cousin is waiting."

Brooke forced a smile.

"Okay," she said. "I guess I'll see you at school on Monday."

Heather waved goodbye and let herself out the front door. Choosing to ignore Brooke's "Call me if you need anything" comment. There were some things Heather could deal with and there were other things she chosen to ignore, this was definitely one she planned on ignoring.

Long after the door slammed shut, Brooke didn't know why but she felt guilty. She wasn't trying to push Heather into doing something she didn't want to do but what happened was taking control of her life. She shouldn't have to suffer because of what those boys did. It just wasn't right.

Brooke grabbed her teddy bear from its place in the back of the spacious closet and walked to her bed. Crawling underneath a sea of blankets, she pulled the covers to her chin and allowed the tears she been holding to trickle down her face. Her life had gotten so hard. She wished she could go back to when it was just Peyton and her. Before Lucas, before California, before the baby….before all the drama. Back to when it was hoes over bros. Life was so much simpler then. And better.

Brooke reached for the one picture she allowed herself to kept from her old life in Tree Hill. She had it hidden under her pillow for safekeeping, all her other pictures she had thrown out. It wasn't a perfect picture. It was the morning after the first time she and Lucas had made love. Not wanting to ruin the moment by bumping into Karen, the two awakened early and decided to take a walk on the beach. Brooke had no makeup on and her hair was in a messy ponytail but she had never been happier and it certainly showed. She gently ran her finger down Lucas' framed face, trying to find comfort in the simplest touch but nothing would ease the pain in her heart. Holding the picture to her chest Brooke closed her eyes and prayed that sleep would come soon.

------------------------

Lucas didn't sleep that night, instead he found himself writing a letter. A letter he wasn't sure he was ever going to send but one he knew he needed to write.

_New letter coming soon! ;)_

Lucas looked at the letter. He gently folded it and carefully placed in a box labeled _Brooke._

Would he send it?

Only time would tell.

**tbc…**


	25. Hold Me Tender

_----------Song by Audioslave---------_

_**Chapter 25**_

_**Hold Me Tender**_

**_Six Months Later…_**

Peyton woke up to the familiar ache in her lower back. Slowly opening her eyes, she turned to her side to find Lucas snoring away. As usual.

_Damn this pregnancy, at least_, she thought.

The night before the throbbing in her back had been extremely painful, so Lucas had offered to rub it and they had both fallen asleep. Lucas had been staying with her for a few weeks and it already seemed like he was apart of the family. It was going to be so much different when he went back to his mom's.

Peyton climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Lucas and wobbled to the bathroom. She was sick of being pregnant. It had been nine months and ten days already and still nothing. The doctor told her the baby would come simply when it was ready. She didn't know about the baby but she was sure ready for it to be born. Her feet ached, her back hurt, she was fat, and she couldn't see pass her stomach. It was definitely time for this baby to be born.

Brushing her teeth and running the comb through her hair Peyton decided it was time to wake Lucas. If she had to be awake at such an ungodly hour, then so did he. And what better way to wake him then by playing her "depressing and loud" music, as he liked to call it. Grabbing his most hated song, Peyton turned to volume way up and pressed play.

_Roll me on your frozen fields_

_Break my bones to watch them heal_

_Drown me in your thirsty veins_

_Where I'll watch and I'll wait_

_And pray for the rain._

Peyton couldn't help but smile at how much fun she was having at Lucas' expense. She laughed out loud when Lucas tried to block out the noise by burying his head under the pillow. She responded by the turning the volume up. Lucas, frustrated, threw the covers off and jumped out of bed.

"Okay! Okay I'm up."

Peyton just smiled.

"It's about time!" she said jokingly.

Lucas just laughed.

"Now can you please turn that crap off?" he asked light heartedly while rubbing his ears.

Peyton hesitated for just a second making sure he heard the last verse knowing that he hated it the most.

"One sec. Just let me listen to this last part."

Lucas rolled his eyes knowing full well what she was doing.

_Curl like smoke and breathe again_

_Down your throat inside your ribs_

_Through your spine in every nerve_

_Where I watch and I wait and yield to the hurt._

Turning it off. Peyton went about getting dressed for the day ahead.

"So are we still meeting your mother at the café for breakfast?" she asked.

Lucas nodded from his place in the bathroom.

"As far as I know."

"Good because I'm hungry."

"Aren't you always," Lucas joked.

"Hey!" Peyton screamed. "Is that any way to talk to a pregnant woman?"

She pretended to pout.

"You know I'm just kidding," he turned and asked while gently laying his hand on Peyton's stomach. "So how's my girl doing this morning?"

Peyton groaned out loud.

"Freakin' fan-tas-tic. If this baby doesn't come out soon I swear I might just have to reach up in there and pull her out myself."

Lucas couldn't help but laugh at the image that came to mind.

"Somehow I don't think you would enjoy that."

"Well it would have to feel better than this. Its been ten days already and still nothing," she cried. "What if she never comes out?"

His eyes softened.

"She will. Just give her time."

"Well I'm tried of waiting. I want this bowling ball out of me," she whined.

Lucas wrapped his arm around Peyton, offering friendly comfort.

"The doctor said that if you haven't had the baby by Friday then he would induce labor."

Peyton put her head in her hands. Suddenly her body shook began to shake with sobs.

"I know…but…I wanted to have…this baby…naturally," she cried.

"But…but just a second ago you couldn't wait for the baby to be born."

"I know but…now I want it be born…when she's ready," she sobbed.

Well one thing was for sure, living with Peyton the last few weeks sure didn't go uneventful. She wasn't the only one who was ready for the baby to born…the sooner the better. He never seen a person cry, laugh, and throw things all at once. He was walking on eggshells around her, if he said one wrong thing she would blow up and that was something he did not want to experience again.

"Then we can wait. Whatever you want to do, we'll do it."

Peyton know he was being sweet and she was being ridiculous but her hormones were getting the best of her.

"I guess I'm acting like a real bitch again, huh? God, I hate pregnancy hormones. I'm sorry," she apologized while drying her eyes.

Lucas just smiled.

"It's cool. Don't even sweat it. Now come on. Let's go get breakfast. I bet my mom made all your favorites."

------------------------

"Peyton! Lucas!" Karen yelled happily. "I am so glad to see you two. I've missed having you at home."

"Well my dad will be home soon, so it shouldn't be too long before Luke will be back," explained Peyton.

"Where did your father go again this time, Peyton?" Karen asked.

Peyton thought for a moment.

"I'm not really sure", she laughed at her memory troubles.

Her father was always out of town working at different locales.

Karen smiled while she wiped her hands on the apron that covered her jeans.

"Well you two grab a seat and I'll send Haley over to get your orders."

Lucas led Peyton to the nearest table, knowing that chairs would be more comfortable for her than a booth.

"So what are you in the mood for this morning?" he asked.

"Hmm, how about pancakes, oh and some olives…not the black ones but the green ones," she answered seriously.

"If that's what you want", Lucas shook his head trying to hide a frown of disgust.

"It is", she sighed with the lick of her lips and a satisfied but hungry smile.

------------------------------------------

For the first time in six months, she was home. She was finally back in Tree Hill. A lot had changed since that night when Brooke had so recklessly called Lucas. She was finally able to convince Heather to go to see a counselor. It was hard at first but the traumatized girl was finally on her way to recovering. She was getting stronger each day. Little by little she was letting go of the blame and the shame and the previous month she had finally broken down and told her parents the whole story. It wouldn't be long until it was completely behind her.

Brooke had even started seeing a counselor, for different reasons of course but she felt better, happier as the days passed. She had fought her way through the last six months, working hard to find peace. It had taken her awhile to face up to the reality that if she ever a wanted life outside of Lucas Scott then she somehow needed closure. And what better way to get closure than to say goodbye. Heather, of course had offered to come with her but it was something Brooke had needed to do on her own. She needed to stand on her own two feet without her best friend there to save her.

-------------------

Brooke smiled.

"Thank you so much," she said.

"Not a problem", the cab driver replied, smacking his gum. "Where to?" he asked.

Brooke thought for a moment.

"Um, there's this little café downtown that has the best coffee…"

"Karen's Café it is."

"You know the place?' Brooke asked with curiosity.

The cabby looked at Brooke through the rear-view mirror.

"Of course. It has the best coffee in town", he winked.

Brooke smiled. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess it does," she whispered.

She turned her attention to the once familiar scenery passing her by. She never realized how beautiful Tree Hill really was. The infamous old saying was proving true…a person really didn't know what they had until they lost it. But before she knew it she was outside the busy café. Stepping out of the taxi, Brooke looked at her surroundings and let out a heavy sigh. She couldn't believe she was actually outside Karen's Café again. It was just too surreal. Taking a deep breath and shaking herself of any negative thoughts, Brooke walked through the door.

Jingle, Jingle 

It being a Saturday morning, there weren't many people in the restaurant after the big breakfast rush. Walking to the counter, Brooke took a seat waiting for Haley or Karen to come walking out of the back. Just like old times. Instead she saw something she could have gone her life without. Lucas and Peyton. Together.

"_Lucas, stop it! This is my breakfast. The baby and me need all the strength we can get," she said laughing._

_Of course that didn't stop Lucas from grabbing her last piece of bacon. _

"_Hey!" Peyton pouted. "I was going to eat that."_

_Lucas laughed again._

"_I know!"_

"Brooke!" yelled a shocked Haley, a glass dropping from her shaking, surprised hand.

Brooke jerked her head away from the image of the loving, parents to be and looked from a shocked Haley to an even more shocked Karen.

"Haley…I…" Brooke began.

Brooke turned to see if Lucas and Peyton noticed her presence and they had. They were even more surprised then Haley and Karen. She looked from Lucas to Peyton, trying hard to hide her emotions but it was no use. Lucas could read her like a book…he always could. Looking back to Haley, Brooke began to stutter.

"I, I shouldn't…have come."

She hopped up and turned on her heels, running out the door.

Haley looked towards Lucas, who just sat there absolutely stunned.

"Go after her," she mouthed.

It took Lucas a second to comprehend what had just happened. _Brooke was back. His Brooke was back. And she saw something that wasn't romantic but instead breakfast between friends. _

"I'm sorry, Peyton," Lucas said. "I have to go."

Peyton nodded in agreement.

"Go get her."

Lucas smiled.

"Thanks for understanding."

-----------------------------

Brooke was angrily walking herself all 14 miles back to the airport.

_How could she be so stupid? Of course Lucas and Peyton are together! They're having a freakin baby. It wasn't fair that they got to be happy. Did you expect them hate each other? _

She did. In her own way she had hoped that Lucas would be falling apart without her but no! He couldn't even give her that. He had to go and be happy. It had taken her almost six months to rebuild her life and get the courage to come back to Tree Hill and face what she had left behind. It had taken Lucas Scott all of six seconds to ruin it.

"Brooke!" Lucas yelled.

Brooke turned around, anger evident on her face. The nerve, she thought.

"Brooke?" he yelled again. "Would you wait up?"

She continued walking.

He quickened his pace and caught up to her.

"Would you please stop?"

She smirked.

"Why in the hell should I, Lucas?" she asked. "To think I was actually coming to…to"

"To what?" he interrupted.

"To break it off with you…in person," she said angrily.

Her words stung.

"I thought you already did that."

"Unbelievable," she whispered.

"Why are you really here, Brooke?" he asked. "Did you want to come and ruin my life again?"

He was wrong and he knew it but the words just kept coming out.

"Did you not hurt me enough the first time? You just had to come and do it all over again?" he continued.

"You get my best friend pregnant and you think I _ruined_ your life?" she spat.

"Well at least she didn't run away when I told her I loved her," he defended.

Furious, she slapped him.

"Stay the hell away from me, Lucas!" she coldly whispered.

Lucas reached out to stop her from walking away.

"Wait, Brooke, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that," he said. "I was just surprised to see you. I really am sorry."

"Don't touch me," she muttered.

"Sorry," he whispered again.

It hurt that she couldn't even stand to be touched by him but he would deal with that later. Meanwhile, Brooke was dealing with her own whirlwind of emotions. She could hear the pain in his voice and worse she could see it in his eyes.

"Do you think we could sit down and talk?" he asked, motioning to a nearby bench.

He was hopeful that she would agree yet at the same time not expecting her to. After a few minutes, she nodded and took a seat.

"Brooke…"

"Lucas…"

They began awkwardly at the same time.

Lucas managed a smile.

"Sorry. Um, you go first."

She didn't want to know but she didn't think she could stand it if she didn't ask.

"Are you and Peyton _together_?" she asked softly.

Lucas titled her head so that she was looking him in the eyes.

"No," he answered honestly.

She closed her eyes in relief.

"I wasn't sure…you both look so happy," she explained while looking away.

"We were just having breakfast, Brooke. We're friends. That's it."

Slightly smiling but still uncomfortable, she asked, "So how are things?"

"Do you really want to know?"

Brooke shrugged.

"I asked, didn't I?"

"They suck," he explained. "I miss you."

"Lucas…I didn't come…"

"I still love you, Brooke. That isn't going to change, " he confessed, the words tumbling out.

Putting her head in her hands, Brooke began to cry,

"You know, you shouldn't say things like that."

Lucas kneeled in front of her and took her hands in his.

"Why not? It's the truth."

"But you still shouldn't say it. It just makes what I have to say that much more complicated," she whispered.

Lucas cupped her face.

"What? What do you have to say?"

Brooke closed her eyes and a solitary tear leaked out. Lucas gently kissed it away. Opening her eyes, Brooke sobbed.

"I came to tell you goodbye," she whispered. "I need to get you out of my head and …heart once and for all."

Lucas pulled back like he had been punched in the stomach. He actually believed for a split second that she had come back to work things out. To give him another chance.

"Wh…what?" he asked heartbroken.

Brooke wept.

"You slept with my best friend, Lucas. How am I suppose to forgive that?" she asked just as equally heartbroken.

Lucas returned to his seat.

"I…I always believed that love could fix anything," he started. "Even when you left I never stopped believing that."

Brooke turned away, to somehow hide the tears she was crying but Lucas knew because he was crying the same tears.

"I don't think love can fix this," she explained softly

"Butt…why not?"

"Because…"

"Because what?"

"Because…because I don't know how to forgive you," she answered honestly.

There it was. The reason they could no longer be together. One mistake. One night of regret ruined a lifetime of possible happiness.

"So that's it?" he asked. "You and me…we're done?"

"No…I mean, yes…I mean…I don't know," she sobbed.

Lucas looked down.

"I can't say goodbye, Brooke. You mean everything to me."

"You have to, Lucas," she wiped her tears. "You have to let me go. You're gonna be a father to a beautiful baby. Your life is here. Mine is in California."

Lucas latched his hands onto hers.

"No. We can make this work," he stated firmly.

Brooke shook her head. Her mind was already made up.

"No! I refuse. You coming back means we still have a chance," he tried to reason.

Brooke closed her eyes and literally felt her heart breaking into a million and one pieces.

"It's too late, Lucas. Let us go…let me go."

Brooke leaned in and lightly brushed her lips against his. She lingered for just a second to long, giving Lucas the opportunity to deepen the kiss. She didn't want to response, she didn't want to enjoy it but her head and heart were in two different places. He forced her mouth open with his tongue and dove in. Their tongues touched and Brooke felt her knees go weak.

_She shouldn't be doing this; it could only lead to trouble she thought. _

Brooke pulled away. "I shouldn't have done that," she said softly.

"It was amazing…"

"No! Lucas," she interrupted. "It only makes this harder…"

She hated the look of pure pain she saw on his face. Brooke was sure it would haunt her for years to come.

Grabbing her bag, she took one last look at Lucas and tenderly whispered goodbye.

---------------------

_tbc...sorry about all them__ultiple__updates to this chapter, I promise this is the last one! LoL_


	26. Edge of Doom

_**Chapter 26**_

_**Edge of Doom**_

_"Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds. It is an ever-fixed mark on tempests and is never shaken. Love alters not with times brief hours and weeks. But bares it out even to edge of doom."_

_ - Sonnet 116 Shakespeare_

Peyton watched Lucas run out the café with an unwavering look on his face. He knew what he wanted and he was determined to get it. She knew he thought of Brooke often but it still strung that he raced after her so quickly. Her feelings for him didn't go beyond friendship but it was still hard to be reminded that _their _one night together was considered a mistake. She couldn't help but think that maybe deep inside of him, he felt the same way about the baby she carried. She was being stupid and she knew it. Lucas had been great the last few months. He was acting like a happy father to be. But Peyton knew he wasn't. She knew he loved the baby and _her_ in his own way. It was just different. This wasn't exactly how she dreamed of becoming a mother.

Peyton balanced her weight on the table and tried to pull herself up but an unfamiliar pain stopped her in her tracks.

"Ahhh!" she cried out.

She carefully took her seat again.

"Wowww…baby girl…" she said shaking her head. "Mommy doesn't like…"

There it was again.

"Karen!" she called out.

Breathe in, breathe out she reminded herself.

"Ohhh!" Peyton clenched her stomach in pain.

Karen looked up from cash register.

"Peyton, sweetie what's wrong?" she asked while walking over.

Wiping her hands on her apron and she asked again. "What's wrong?"

"I don't…know" she managed to get out between breaths.

She didn't remember hearing that being in labor was this painful.

"I think I'm in labor," she whispered as white as a ghost.

Karen nodded.

"Well let's be sure about that honey."

Karen did her best to help her stand.

"Peyton do you think you can walk to the car?" she asked.

She attempt to stand but the pain in her stomach was too much.

Peyton shook her head.

"Oh God…something's wrong. I can feel it!" she cried.

"Haley!" Karen yelled towards the back. "Call an ambulance. I think Peyton's in labor."

_Or at least she hoped so. _

-----------------------------------

Lucas found himself walking by the one place he felt most at home. The Rivercourt. It didn't surprise him that he ended up there. It was after all the first place he'd gone to the first time Brooke left. He didn't know what it was about that place but it always seemed to put things in perspective for him. He remembered coming here when he was a little boy. Keith and him would spend the whole day here playing ball, talking, just hanging out. It was the only time in Lucas' life he actually felt like he had a father. Dan make it no secret that he didn't want and sometimes it felt like, didn't love his oldest son. But Lucas knew better. Dan hide it will but sometimes it showed. Maybe it was his imagination or a life long yearning of his but in the end it didn't matter because it was enough.

He felt the familiar vibration of his cell phone but ignored it. He needed to think. His life had been pretty stable the last few months but in less than hour it was turned upside down again. Yesterday he had accepted the fact that he may never see Brooke again but today when he saw her the feelings and memories of the past three years came rushing back and he was powerless to stop them.

"_This is my world Brooke…or at least it used to be," he smirked. _

"_I have been here before you know," she responded. _

_Lucas shrugged._

"_I know…I just never told you what this place is to me." Looking away, he continued, "It's not just a court…It's where I came from, it's where I belong, It's my world," he finished._

"_So do I get to be apart of this world?" she asked openly. _

_Smiling, he said, "The biggest part." _

And she was. She always would be. His love for her was everlasting. No matter how many months or years they spent apart or how many miles separated them he would always have her heart. He just hoped she let him prove that she would always have his.

"_Stop! This is ridiculous," he screamed while running after her in the rain._

"_Ridiculous! I found that letter in your sad box to Peyton, whatever in your closet. Dear Peyton, blah, blah, blah, you're mine forever love Lucas."_

"_Look, I don't even remember writing that," he tried to reason._

"_Well you did! Looks like forever just got a lot shorter!" _

_He grabbed her arm. She turned to face him._

"_Brooke, okay I'm sorry. It was a mistake."_

"_Which time? When you wrote it to me or Peyton?' she angrily asked. _

"_No, you were the one who was snorting through my closet."_

"_So not the point!" she defended. _

"_Look I know you feel vulnerable…about what you wrote to me in your letters," he started. _

"_That is not while I'm upset right now! And FYI I'm not your recycling bin," she yelled. _

_Fed up, he screamed back._

"_No you're psychotic!"_

_Beyond pissed, Brooke turned around and tried to walk away but Lucas pulled her back once again._

"_Brooke, I'm sorry I said that. You're not psychotic. I mean a little disturbed, maybe…" he said jokingly._

"_You think this is funny?" she asked annoyed. _

"_No, what I think is, I think you trying to spoil us. By any reason you can so you can end it but you don't have to worry about getting hurt again," he tried to assure her. _

"_But the same words, Lucas! The exact same words!"_

"_I never sent that letter to Peyton." _

"_And I never sent my letters to you either but they still meant something," she cried. "Just tell me, why me this time? Why not Peyton?"_

His feelings for Peyton were always so complicated. He had this connection with her that he never had with any other person. Not even Haley. There was a time when he truly believed that Peyton was the one he wanted, the one he was meant to be with. Even while he was with Brooke, the first time, he still believed that Peyton was the one for him. And then one day he saw Brooke in a different light. She wasn't just some dense cheerleader; she was so much more than that. She was caring and giving and loyal beyond understanding. She just hid it well. He wished he had realized it earlier. Maybe then none of this would have happened.

He thought felt his phone vibrate again, 'Haley's Cell' flashed on the screen.

"Hey Haley, " he said miserably.

Haley sniffled.

"Lucas?"

"Are you crying? What's wrong?" he asked concerned.

"It's Peyton…she went into labor and…and something's wrong with the baby, "she cried.

_Something was wrong with the baby. _

"Wrong…baby…No. No, I just left her. What happened, Haley?" he asked.

She did her best to explain.

"It was right about you left with Brooke…she was eating and then she called for Karen," she cried. "She was so pale Lucas…so pale."

"Is she at the hospital now?"

"Y…ye…yes" she managed to get out between sobs.

"I'll be there as quick as I can."

"Hurry Lucas…she's asking for you."

-------------------------------------------

Walking through the airport for the second time that day Brooke wondered how in the world her life got so screwed up. It would be easy to blame it all on Lucas and Peyton but she held some responsibility too. She wasn't excusing what they did but in a way she understood it. She recognized the desperate need to lose yourself in someone else when your heart was broken. It was a need she, herself was trying hard to deny. It would have been so easy for her to hook up with random guy after random guy but it wouldn't change anything. She'd still be living in California and Lucas and Peyton would still be expecting a baby. Choices had been made, words had been said and it was too late. Peyton and Lucas made their choices, now it was time for Brooke to make hers.

"Thank you for choosing American Airlines, how may I help you today?"

Brooke vaguely smiled at the ladies, cheerfulness.

"One-way ticket to California please. The first available flight you've got to LAX."

"Will you be flying first class or coach today?"

She didn't give a flying flip if she was in first class or coach, she just wanted the hell out of North Carolina.

"Are both available?" Brooke asked.

"Let me check."

Rolling her eyes in Brooke Davis fashion, she continued.

"I don't really care if all you have left is cargo. Just give me a seat."

Twenty minutes later, she was comfortably sitting in first class with her headphones on and her eyes closed. Naively, Brooke imagined she would feel better after being in Tree Hill but things were never that simple and all she ended up doing was making herself feel worse. She never expected to run into Lucas and Peyton, together, friendly or otherwise. She had hoped that would have become enemies or something. Even during her in worst days she never thought being here would have been so hard. She wanted to close the door to that chapter of her life forever but instead it reminded her that it was wide open. And she would never have the one thing, she was confident she would want for the rest of her life. Lucas.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, the captain asks that you buckle your seat belts and turn off all electronic devices at this time. Thank you for flying with American Airlines and enjoy your flight." 

-----------------------------------------

Running into the emergency room, Lucas recognized his mother quietly crying in the corner. He rushed to her side.

"Mom…what happened? Is Peyton okay? What about the baby," he franticly asked.

"She's in labor…the baby is breeched Lucas."

Karen knew the risk involved in having a breech baby and it didn't help that Peyton was so young. The chances of them making it out safely were high but dangerous nonetheless.

"I don't understand what that means," he cried.

He vaguely remembering hearing about it once or twice on television but couldn't seem to process anything other than _something is wrong with the baby_.

"The baby is positioned wrong…"

"What room?" he asked.

"Down the hall…but Lucas you can't go in there." Karen called to her son's running form.

Lucas couldn't remember the last time he'd been so scared. He was never thrilled about having a baby in the first place but over the months he had gotten used to the idea and on some levels even fancied being a father. He'd be there to dry his little girl's tears, to clean her up after her first fall, to see her off on her first date but most importantly he'd be there to love her. He would be the type of father, Keith had been to him since day one, the type his _real_ father never wanted to be.

Lucas cornered the first nurse he saw.

"Help me, please…"

The nurse had been on shift since 10:00pm the night before, it was now 2:00pm and the last thing she wanted to do was help _anyone _but after seeing the desperate look in the young man's eyes, she knew she couldn't turn him away.

"How can I help?" she asked.

"Something's wrong with my baby…she was in labor. I don't know where they are."

He wasn't making any sense.

"Slow down, sweetie. Do you know what's wrong with your baby?"

"Sh…she was…breeched," his voice trailed off in fright.

Her face softened.

"What's your wife name?"

He didn't process he just reacted. "Peyton Sawyer," he whispered.

"You stay here, I'm gonna go see if I can find something out."

Lucas grabbed her hand and looked her in the eyes.

"Please help them…that's my family in there," he begged.

She smiled at the young man's obvious love for his unborn child and what she had assumed was his wife.

"Your baby and wife are in good hands. Try not to worry," she tried to assure him.

Lucas nodded but they both knew he was going to worry just the same. Like he had said earlier, that was his family in there.

----------------------------------------

_tbc… a little short, I know but I hope you loved it anyways :D_

_Flashback #1 is from eppy #310_

_Flashback #2 is from eppy #313_


	27. Room They Painted Blue

**A/N: **_I know ya'll are getting tried of hearing this but I'm really sorry! LoL! I will try to start updating more often. Just so everyone knows, I will finish this story. I promise you that!_

_Thanks to everyone who reviews/reads it means the world to me! _

**Chapter 27**

**Room They Painted Blue**

Brooke physically made it back to California in one piece but emotionally it was another story. She had thought, hoped even, that saying goodbye once and for all would somehow make the pain go away.

It didn't.

"I'm at the airport, can you come pick me up?"

"Brooke? What are you doing back in California? You just went to Tree Hill this morning," said a surprised and worried Heather.

Closing her eyes, Brooke asked again, "I'll explain later. Can you come pick me up, please?"

"Yeah, give me 20 minutes."

"Okay."

Click

Heather had never heard her friend sound so heartbroken. Whatever had happened, it wasn't good. She had wanted to go but Brooke had refused. Saying she needed to do it on her own. On some levels Heather agreed but Brooke had been there for her during the most difficult time of her life and she wanted to return the favor. But being the person Brooke was, Heather didn't have a choice but to stay away. Now she wasn't so sure it had been the right decision.

------------------

This was her doing. She left him. No, the other way around. It wasn't supposed to hurt this bad. She was supposed to feel relief, not regret and heartache. Why couldn't anything, just one freakin time, work the way she wanted it to? All she wanted to do was move on. She was allowed to have a life outside of Lucas Scott, wasn't she? He had lied. He had cheated. He had a baby by her best friend. Yet she seemed to be the only one who couldn't move on. He clearly had. What she needed was a distraction and fortunately for her that distraction was in the form a little-ole clear bottle of vodka, she'd snatched from the flight attendant's cart. Unscrewing the cap, Brooke finished the bottle in one gulp.

What was that saying?

Being good is fun but being bad is funner.

Well, Brooke Davis was about to be very, very bad.

-------------------------

Slugging her way through the crowds at baggage, Brooke did her best to hide the fact that she was completely drunk.

"Cuse mee," she shouted a little too loud.

Everyone turned to look. Brooke laughed a little at the looks she was getting. What did she care what they thought of her. They didn't matter. She couldn't help but laugh out loud at the mess her life had become. Her laughter filled the air and her body shook. It was really quite funny. She had spent so much time protecting herself from her backstabbing best friend and her cheating ex-boyfriend that she hadn't even realized it, realized that all along they were meant to be. Lucas and Peyton were destiny. It really was true what they said, 'People who are meant to be together, always find they way in the end.'

Unable to hold her body up, she fell to the floor in giggles.

"Brooke?"

She looked up to see Heather looking at her like she had gone crazy and that made her laugh even more.

Did no one get the irony in the situation? She had spent so much time and energy trying to keep them apart that in the end they could do nothing but run to one another.

"Hea…ther", she continued to laugh. "Lucas…and Peyton, they…are together."

"Brooke, honey. Have you been drinking?"

She reeked of alcohol.

Brooke playfully nodded her head. This was fun.

Heather reached down to help her off the floor but Brooke pushed her hand away.

"I wanna stay down here," she cried.

Heather looked around for help and instead noticed a couple of pissed off security guards coming their way.

"Brooke, get up! You're making a scene."

"I don't care," she pouted.

Heather worryingly looked around, desperately trying to think of a way out of the situation.

"Come on, get up!"

"No!" Brooke screamed back. "They can't hurt me down here."

"Who?"

"Them!" Brooke said very seriously.

Heather rolled her eyes. God, she hated when Brooke got like that.

Feeling the contents of her stomach making their way up her throat, Brooke moaned.

"Oh God…I think I'm gonna be sick."

"What!" Heather cried. "We're in the middle of the airport."

"I know that. You don't have to shout at me."

Brooke looked around at her surroundings.

All eyes were on her, waiting to see what her next move would be.

Reaching for Heather's hand, she swallowed.

"Help me up."

"Thank God!"

Heather quickly pulled her up and grabbed her one bag.

"Come on. We have to walk fast."

Brooke tried to stand up on a pair of wobbly legs.

"I don't think I can," she muttered.

"Brooke! You know I love you, right?" Heather asked.

Brooke nodded.

"Good. Now get your ass in gear!"

"Okay, okay, okay. Just stop shouting." Brooke begged.

Looking over her shoulder, the security guards were just a few feet away.

"Stop right there!" they shouted.

Carrying one bag in one arm and practically dragging Brooke in the other, Heather managed to get to her car without the guards catching them.

----------------------

"Thanks", Brooke muttered.

Heather took her eyes off the road and really looked at her best friend. She looked like shit.

"Sweetie, what happened?"

Brooke had always been good at hiding her emotions but when it came to Heather, nothing got past her.

The tears she had been holding in since leaving Tree Hill came rushing down her cheeks. She fiercely wiped them away as Heather gently took her hand.

"It's okay to cry."

Gulping for air Brooke clarified, "No, it's not. I won't give them or myself the satisfaction."

Pulling over, Heather put the car in park and embraced the broken brunette.

Rubbing her back in a circle motion, like her mother did for her, Heather assured Brooke that everything was going to be okay.

"I know right now it doesn't seem like it…but eventually you _are_ gonna be okay."

Brooke shook her head. "It just hurts so much."

Closing her eyes, Heather wished with everything in her that she could take Brooke's pain away.

"Why wasn't I enough?" she cried. "Why can't I just let him go?"

"You will when you're ready…"

"What if I'm never ready? One minute I think I've finally let him go and the next I'm in tears. It's one big roller coaster," she explained. "I don't even know what I want anymore."

"Brooke, most people don't go through in their entire life what you've gone through in the last year. Give yourself some time."

"I'm just so confused," she whispered. "I know whatever Lucas and I have is gone and I know that I shouldn't forgive him or Peyton but I miss them both, so much. And…and I still love him."

Heather sighed.

"I'm glad you finally realized that."

Brooke looked up.

"What?" she asked.

"Anyone with a brain can see you still love him. You can't turn feelings off and on like that."

Brooke sniffed, "He doesn't deserve my love."

"You're right. He doesn't but it doesn't change the fact that you still do."

"I just want the shit to go away."

Heather laughed a little.

"I know you do, sweetie. I guess it just takes time."

"Well, I guess time is something I have plenty of."

Brooke wiped her eyes, grateful that she didn't have to go through it alone.

Starting the car, Heather smiled.

"Come on. We better get you home."

Brooke nodded.

"Home. Yeah, let's go home."

--------------------------

_And the morning light was breaking  
Slowly moving across the bed  
He gets up without her waking  
To the voices in his head…_

Five minutes had passed since the nurse went in search of some answers and Lucas felt like it had been days. He had never been so utterly helpless in his life. His baby girl was in trouble, possibly dying and he was out here doing nothing.

Where is she, he thought. How long does it take to ask the doctor whether or not his family is all right?

"Lucas?" The nurse called from down the hall.

Lucas turned around and ran to the nurse.

"Are they okay? What did you find out?" he asked anxiously.

The nurse smiled.

"They are fine. You little girl is being cleaned up and you can go see Peyton. She's right down the hall in room 210."

She pointed the way and Lucas signed with relief. His little girl was okay. They both were.

"Thank you so much."

"Go see your wife", she nodded. "She's waiting for you."

_Wife?_ That was the second time Peyton had been called that. Should he tell her that she wasn't his wife? That instead they were two friends, who found comfort in each other for one night, and now had a baby.

"She's not my wife."

"Oh..."

"We're just friends."

The love between the two young teens was so obvious anyone could see it. She had been so sure they were a couple.

"I see…well your fr…friend is down the hall," she stuttered.

Lucas could tell by her eyes that she didn't believe him.

"I care deeply for her", he attempted to explain.

"Yes, well…" she shrugged with an awkward smile.

_Through the shadows in the hallway  
To the room they painted blue  
And on the inside he is frightened  
At a loss for what to do…_

Softy knocking on the door, Lucas poked his head in the room. Peyton was looking out window and didn't seem to notice his presence so he cleared his throat. She looked up and smiled but it never reached her eyes.

"Hey", she whispered.

"Hi," Lucas said shyly. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I pushed a watermelon out of my body," she chuckled. "What about you? How'd it go with Brooke?"

She wasn't sure if she wanted the answer to be good or bad. She wasn't in love with Lucas, that much was sure but she had gotten a tad bit attached to his friendship over the months. As selfish as it was, she didn't want to lose that.

Lucas shook his head and that was all Peyton needed to know that whatever happened wasn't good. And once again she felt like the one to blame.

Sitting up gently, Peyton started to apologize.

"No." Lucas said shaking his head. "Its not your fault. Brooke and me have been over for a long time. It just took me awhile to figure it out."

Peyton nodded.

"Yoo hoo," the nurse said while poking her head in. "Baby Sawyer wants to meet her mommy and daddy."

Two sets of blue eyes looked to the little bundle resting, comfortably in the woman's arms.

"Mommy, would you like to hold your beautiful baby girl?"

With tears streaming down her face, Peyton nodded.

"Well, good cause I think this little sweetie is getting hungry."

The nurse gently lifted the baby out of her arms and placed her safety in her mother's arms.

"Hold her head, hold her head."

"I think I got it," she whispered.

The nurse nodded as Peyton looked at Lucas, not the least bit ashamed of the tears covering her face.

"Our baby. She's perfect."

Even closer than this life  
Closer than your faith  
Closer than the things that you hold dearly  
And in vain  
Closer than this life  
Falling through again  
Giving more than anything  
That you could hope to win…

Lucas made his way to bed where his baby girl was snuggled in her Peyton's arms, unsure of what to do or say. Or feel. And then he saw her face. His baby girl was no longer a fantasy she was real. And she was an angel. His angel.

Then suddenly, almost like a light bulb went off inside of him, he was no longer clouded. His life was very much clear. She was his purpose. Lucas Scott had instantly fallen love in with his little girl.

Tenderly stroking her face, Lucas looked at Peyton.

"What should we name her?" he asked.

Peyton thought for moment and then lovingly looked at her daughter.

"Brooklyn…Brooklyn Lee Scott is what we should name her", she looked towards Lucas. "What do you think?"

Caressing her little cubby arm Lucas said, "I think it's perfect."

"Good." Peyton nodded. "Cause I do too."

Closer than this life  
Closer finally  
Living for the only thing  
You ever made complete  
Oh, for the one thing  
That you both did perfectly…

---------------------------------------

It was much later, when Lucas had a moment to himself. Letting himself in his bedroom, he looked around at all the memories, good and bad he had of Brooke. He could still smell her fragrance. Her perfume was gone but her smell was still very much there. Apple cider mixed with vanilla.

Walking over to the dresser he picked up his favorite picture he had of them together. Her face was covered in a smile and he was just looking at her, taking her beauty in. She really was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, inside and out.

Carrying the photo with him, he sat on the edge of the bed. Tonight he became a father. He was responsible for someone other than himself and he couldn't screw that up. As hard as it was going to be, he knew what he had to do.

Eyeing the photo, Lucas whispered, "I'm so sorry."

His heart breaking with every step, he reached for a box labeled "Brooke" located at the top of his closet. Opening it, he put the picture in, along with her favorite gray hoody, one of the red feathers from her Halloween costume the previous year, and all of her 82 letters.

He slowly walked around the room picking up everything and anything that reminded him of Brooke. When he was done he had an over-flowing trash bag and an empty room.

It was finally over.

------------------------------

tbc...


	28. BrownEyed Girl

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, this chapter wouldn't have been up so quickly if is wasn't for them! Look for some major changes in the coming chapters, as well as another time jump. Merry Christmas:) **

**Chapter 28**:

**Brown-Eyed Girl**

"Nathan?"

Haley gently nudged her husband in the side.

"Wake up," she whispered. "I can't sleep."

How could anyone sleep at a time like this? Their best friends' were now ex-friends and they were stuck in the middle. If she had to deal with it, then he sure as hell had to, too.

"Nathan! Wake up!" she barked, only this time nudging him harder.

"Okay, baby, I'll take care of it in the morning," he grumbled, still half asleep himself.

Haley rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Nathan. I want to talk."

Opening his eyes and then slowly closing them he muttered, "Go back to sleep Hales, it's still dark outside."

Getting an idea, Haley stood up and playfully jumped up and down on the bed, therefore making it impossible for Nathan to sleep.

"Its time to get up," she giggled, clearly enjoying the situation. "I. Want. To. Talk."

Bouncing with each jump she took, Nathan grabbed her by the ankles causing her knees to buckle.

"Oh!" she squealed.

Finding herself once again flat on the bed with her husband's head on one end of the bed and hers on the other, Haley took advance of his very ticklish feet. She giggled while Nathan tried to unclasp his feet from her cold hands before jumping out of bed.

"Okay, okay! I'm up," he said pretending to be upset, while looking at the clock. "What was soooo important that you had to wake me up at 4 in morning?"

Haley innocently looked in his direction with a mocking twinkle in her eyes, which didn't go unnoticed by Nathan.

"You know, I remember a time when you loved me waking you up in the middle of the night."

"Yes, well something tells me this is for entirely different reasons," he mumbled.

Pouting, Haley said, "Oh, so I can wake you up for sex, just not to talk, right?"

Lying back on the bed, Nathan snuggled in the blankets wanting very much to go back to sleep.

"I didn't say that."

"Yeah? Well, you implied it, which in my opinion is just as bad."

Copying her husband, she angrily positioned herself on the bed, too upset to worry about the blankets. Nathan loved to push her buttons. She was awfully sexy when she was mad.

"You know I care," he said, chuckling.

Well aware what Nathan was doing, Haley played along.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Come on, Hales, let's talk."

"No! I don't want to," she moped. "You'll just make fun of me."

Lending over his side of the bed, Nathan embraced Haley in a full body hug.

"Seriously, what do you want to talk about?" he asked again.

Grinning, Haley confessed, "Well if you insist. Lucas and Brooke."

Nathan groaned. As far as he could tell, there was no Lucas and Brooke.

"I can't help it. You know they love each other. I just want them to be happy," she tried to explain.

"Hales, their relationship is so screwed up, they can't even fix it. What makes you think you can?"

"But Nathan they love each other, so much. Shouldn't that count for something?" she asked.

"Haley, we've been over this before," he said, clearly irritated with the conversation.

"I know but I can't help but want to fix it. Brooke and Lucas are my best friends. You and me wouldn't be together if it wasn't for them," she defended.

"I knew this would happen", Nathan muttered.

His wife was a big romantic at heart and couldn't help but want everyone else to be as happy as they were.

"Whenever you see someone hurting, you try to fix it, them. Anyway you can," he continued.

"And that's a bad thing?" she asked, a little offended.

Shaking his head, Nathan said, "No, but this is none of our business. If and when they are meant to be together they, will."

"Well, I think they are meant to be together."

"At one point I did too but maybe they aren't," he said. "All they do is hurt one another and by that I mean all Lucas does is hurt Brooke."

"He's sorry. You know he is."

Haley, hoping that somehow being sorry would justify his actions, yet knowing it didn't.

"He usually is."

Nathan loved his brother but he wasn't very smart when it came to relationships. Lucas' biggest problem was he didn't know how to value something when he had it. He only seemed to value the person, namely Brooke when it was too late.

"That's not fair. He made a mistake."

"Yeah. a pretty damn big one if you ask me."

"Nathan!" she said, obviously aggravated.

"You know I'm right." he said, tried of sugar coating his feelings concerning his asinine big brother. "When has Lucas ever put Brooke above Peyton?"

"Lucas cares for Pey..."

"That's my point," he interrupted. "He cares for Peyton but claims to love Brooke and yet somehow he never seems to be able to put her above her best friend."

Haley started shaking her head, disagreeing with everything her husband was saying. It was clear that he cared for Peyton but anyone with a brain and eyes could see that he was in love with the fiercest, brown-eyed girl.

"Now Haley I'm not denying that Lucas cares for Brooke but maybe it's not as deep as you think it is. He did sleep with Peyton and that has to count for something as well."

"But it was a mistake!" she defended.

"Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. All I know is Lucas never seems to do anything but make Brooke cry."

"That's not true and you know it! Lucas helped Brooke become a better person."

"I'm not denying that but the fact of the matter is Lucas and Peyton have a baby together. Nothing you or I say will change that," he clarified.

"You don't have to tell me, Nathan. I'm well aware they have a baby together but that doesn't necessarily mean Lucas and Brooke can't still, somehow make it work."

Rubbing his eyes, Nathan said, "I think it does."

"You forgave me once," she said.

He sighed.

"I forgave us both."

Laying her hand on Nathan's shoulder, Haley asked, "What do you mean?"

Pushing the covers off, Nathan muttered, "We're not doing this right now."

Some things were better left unsaid and this was one of them. What Haley didn't know couldn't hurt her. Besides he promised himself it would never happened again and that was one promise he had every intention of keeping. Looking her husband in the face, Haley eyes spoke of the hurt she was now feeling for being shut out.

"Nate…" she whispered.

"Can't you just leave things alone?" he barked a little too harshly.

Haley jumped slightly, caught off guard at the sound of his voice.

Seeing her fear and realizing he was the one who put it there, Nathan reached out to his wife but she pulled away.

"Hales, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bite your head off. I guess I'm just more tired then I thought," he explained.

She nodded, trying to understand her husband's anger but not succeeding.

"I think we should talk about this. I want to know what you meant."

"Look, I can't do this right now and the fact that you're asking me too is a little unfair."

"Unfair?" she repeated. "Nathan, I thought we were at a point in our marriage where we could tell each other anything,"

"Oh you mean like you told me you were going on tour with Chris Keller?"

Seeing Haley's eyes well up with tears, Nathan knew he gone too far. Taking a deep breath, Haley got out of the bed she shared with Nathan the past few months and walked straight for the door. When she reached the doorknob she turned and looked at Nathan, who was clueless as to why she was so upset.

"Apparently you haven't forgiven me. If and when you decide to, you can find me at Lucas'."

Turning the knob, she half wished, Nathan would call her back. But hearing the door click back into place, she realized he wouldn't. Grabbing her keys and purse, Haley ran for the stairs desperately needing to think and get as far away from Nathan as possible.

--------------------

Turning on his side, Lucas noticed that it was a little after five. The sun would be rising soon.

After throwing out the trash bags yesterday, he had hoped that he would feel better, freer, and on some levels he did but nothing seemed to stop the ache in his heart. Even knowing he had a daughter didn't fill the hole Brooke left in his heart. He wasn't sure anything ever could, he just hoped that he was strong enough to go on. It wouldn't be fair to himself or his little girl, if he didn't.

Just thinking about his precious baby girl brought a smile to his face. He still found it remarkable that he was a father. He knew someday he would be but he had imagined it further down the road and with a certain brown-eyed girl by his side. I guess fate had a different plan in mind. It was funny really this time two years ago all he wanted was Peyton. She was the one who held his heart in her hands, the one he wanted by his side always and now that he had it, all he could think about was Brooke. Turning over, his eyes once again found the familiar spot on the ceiling.

Sighing, Lucas pulled the covers to his chin, attempting to ease the chill in his heart. Closing his eyes he thought back to a time when everything made sense and was good in his life. Funny, how his mind took him back to a time when he was with Brooke.

-------------------------------

Not caring who she woke, Haley pounded on Lucas' door, demanding with each knock that he open the damn door. Knowing the knock and the anger behind it, Lucas opened the door.

"Haley, I just went to bed…"

Seeing the tears on her cheeks, he knew whatever she had to say wasn't good.

"What's wrong? Did something happen?"

Leading her to his bed, he sat them both on the edge.

"Hales talk to me", lifting her chin up, he continued, "Tell me what's wrong."

A fresh wave of tears plunged down her face.

"I left Nathan," she sobbed.

That was all Lucas needed to hear before he embraced his childhood friend. With Haley's head resting on his shoulder, he lightly stoked her back, assuring her that everything was going to be okay.

"Haley bub, you and Nathan are gonna be just fine. You two can't say mad at one another for long. You're Naley, always and forever, right?" he whispered.

Hearing the lover's motto, Haley couldn't help but think they weren't quite always and forever as she originally thought.

"I wanted him to forgive me…and I thought he had but not really, "she cried. "He'll never forgive me Lucas! Never!"

Lucas was a little confused. What exactly did Nathan not forgive her for?

"Hales, what are you talking about? What did you do?" he asked.

Haley buried her head deeper into Lucas' shoulder.

"Went…went on tour with…with Chris Keller", her answer came out mumbled with sobs.

All he heard was Chris Keller and that in itself spoke volumes. Whatever it was, it wasn't good.

"What about Chris Keller?"

Pulling herself out Lucas' arms, she sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"I went on tour with Chris Keller, " she whispered. "And Nathan can't or refuses forgive me."

Lucas was under the impression that Nathan and Haley were fine. Not that he had bothered asking. He hadn't exactly been a friend to anyone these past few months. All he cared about was Brooke and all he saw was his own pain. But that was all about to change. Haley was his best friend and it was about time he started to return the favor.

"I thought you guys were past that."

Haley shrugged.

"I thought we were too. We've been living together for the past six months and he never hinted at still being mad about my music and the whole tour thing", she paused and took a deep breath. "And tonight we were talking about umm…we, we were talking about forgiving people you love."

"You mean you were talking about Brooke and I?" he interrupted.

Haley nodded.

"Yes, we were but somehow the conversation switched to us and Nathan was shutting me out and I…" she looked away. "I just ran…like I always do."

She hadn't meant for Lucas to hear the last part but he did.

"You ran after your dreams Haley," he defended. "I'll admit maybe you went about it in the wrong way but you had good intentions."

"Yeah to became a singer instead of being Nathan's wife," she moped.

"You are Nathan's wife and you always will be, " he assured her. "Not even this is gonna change that. He loves you, Haley. I know he does."

"I know he does, Lucas but maybe love isn't enough."

Her hands fiddled with the material on the blanket.

"Love wasn't enough for you and Brooke to be together. Maybe it's not enough for Nathan and I."

Lucas sighed.

"You don't believe that."

Feeling the tears well up again, Haley stood up.

"You're right I don't but how can I be with someone who won't forgive me?" she asked.

"I don't know, Hales. I really don't know."

"I just don't know what else I can do. I have told him over and over again how sorry I was but apparently he's not hearing me."

"You know Nathan. His pride is strong."

"Yeah? Well, so the what? I am sick of paying for a mistake I made over a year ago," she yelled while pacing around the somewhat bigger room.

"Wow, wow calm down. I'm the friend, remember?"

Plopping back down on the bed Haley threw her hands up in frustration.

"Why do guys have to be such jerks?" she muttered under her breath.

Lucas chuckled.

"I guess it's just in our genes."

Haley took a good look around her friend's room. It was completely bare. No pictures, no posters, no nothing.

"What did you do to your room?"

Looking around Lucas asked, "You don't like it?"

"There's nothing to like, Lucas. Everything is gone."

"Yeah, well I needed a change. Throwing things away seemed like a good place to start," he explained.

Haley nodded.

"Have you talked to her since you left the hospital?"

Shaking his head, Lucas said, "No."

Reaching for his hand she suddenly remembered something.

"Oh my gosh! I completely forgot. What did you and Peyton decide to name the baby?"

His face light up at the mention of his baby girl.

"Brooklyn Lee Scott."

Haley smiled.

"It's beautiful Lucas", taking his hand in hers, she continued, "I think Brooke would like it, too."

He laughed a little, "No, she wouldn't but thanks for saying it."

He was probably right. Brooke wouldn't have hated the child but her parents…that was a different story. In her eyes that had committed the ultimate sin.

"Are you planning on telling her?"

Walking over to his desk Lucas picked up the one picture he kept of Brooke. It wasn't just of Brooke only, it was the whole gang. It was one of his favorite pictures of everyone. There was no drama, no hurt feelings, no tears. Everyone was friends then. His world sure had changed.

"No, I don't think so. I'm not really sure she would want to know, " he whispered.

Walking over to his side, she peeked over his shoulder. "I love that picture. Everyone was happy then."

"I know," he replied.

Placing the picture back on his desk, he willed the feelings away.

"I think you should go home, Hales. Talk to Nathan. Work it out. Don't make the same mistake I did."

"Luke, I…"

"I'm serious, Haley. If you really love him then go home to him. Hang on to your marriage with everything you've got and never let it go."

Haley looked towards the door.

"What about you?" she asked.

"I'll be okay," he spoke softly. "Go be with your husband. You two need each other."

"Call me if you need anything."

Lucas nodded. Haley hesitated a second longer before deciding that he would be okay.

"Thanks, Luke," she said on her way out.

"Yea sure," Lucas called after her.

-----------------------------

tbc…


	29. Lead The Way

**A/N:** Okay by now you all know that I suck at updating and I'm extremely sorry. I don't really have an excuse other than this season has been nothing but torture. I haven't watched a full episode all season long and I blame it sorely on Mark. Damn him and his vision! LoL. I know its asking a lot but please bare with me, this story is far from over and I promise you all, I WILL finish.

Thanks for everyone who reviews it means a lot! Special thanks to **Mal**, who is just an awesome beta and a good friend!

Oh, keep in mind while you read this chapter I never promised happy endings… (Ducks while food is thrown her way!!!)

**Chapter 29: **

**Lead The Way**

It had been two weeks since Brooke had gotten back from Tree Hill and she had yet to leave her room. Enough was enough. It was time she stopped talking about moving on and actually started doing it. It sucked what happened and because of it, the young girl would never be the same but the world kept turning and Heather was tried of seeing it turn without Brooke. With purpose in each step she took, Heather paused outside her friend's room, overcome with doubts. Was she doing the right thing? Brooke had been through a lot, more than most her age and maybe pushing her into something wasn't exactly the answer. "Well then what was?" a voice inside her head asked. She had tried everything she could think and Brooke had refused to budge. Quite frankly, Heather was tired. Knocking ever so lightly on the door, she poked her head in Brooke's room.

"Brooke?" she said.

Heather hadn't expected to see an up and freshly showered Brooke, let alone one dressed and writing at her desk.

"Brooke?" she called out again.

She waited for a response or even an acknowledgement but Brooke seemed to be engrossed in her own little world. Walking into the room, she touched the pretty brunette's shoulder.

"Hey," she whispered.

Brooke jumped at the unexpected touch but calmed down when she recognized the voice.

"Hey, Heather," she said turning slightly. "You scared me a little."

Heather smiled apologetically.

"Sorry, sweetie. I wanted to talk to you."

"Okay," she said, nodding. "About what?"

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Heather made eye contact with Brooke.

"You haven't been out of your room for two weeks," she said, the concern evident in her voice. "I thought you were ready to move on."

Feeling a little ashamed, Brooke started to defend herself but stopped when she realized Heather was right. She hadn't been out of her room since she had been back.

"You have too much to offer to shut yourself off from everything and everyone," she tried to reason.

_Did_ she have a lot to offer? After all Lucas cheated on her, not once but twice with the same girl. What did that say about her as a person? Was she unlovable, unworthy, or was it something else? Did she do something in a past life to deserve what was happening to her in this one? These questions and many more just like them were all Brooke had thought about for the last two weeks. She wanted answers as to why Lucas and Peyton betrayed her. She wanted an explanation. Looking up at the ceiling, Brooke wondered if she would ever get them.

"Do you think I'll ever know?"

"Know what?" Heather asked, a little confused.

"Know why. Why I wasn't enough for Lucas the first time, the second time? Why Peyton thought so little of me that she did this?" she paused. "I want a reason."

Sighing, Heather closed her eyes.

"I don't think a reason is going to make you feel better."

"Maybe not," Brooke said. "But it would at least give me some peace of mind."

Glancing at the piece of paper folded neatly on her desk, she wondered if maybe writing a letter was a good idea. In any case she wasn't sure she was even going to send it.

"What is that?"

"A letter", she answered, turning towards Heather before pausing a second. "To Lucas."

"About what?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to say, "everything and nothing" but instead she said, "It's shit."

"Brooke…"

"I can't get it to sound right," she struggled to explain. "It's missing something and I don't know what."

"Have you read it over?"

"Just once or twice," she sighed. "I'm not even sure I'm gonna send it."

"Then why did you write it?"

"I guess because I needed too. I'm not really sure if I can explain it but I just needed to do it."

"Well, do you feel better?" Heather asked.

Shrugging, Brooke answered, "A little, I guess."

"Then maybe it was good thing."

"I'm not so sure it's any good, though. Maybe it will sound better if someone else reads it. Here… I, I want you to read it."

Grabbing it and taking a seat on the bed, Brooke held it out to Heather. Taking it within her hands, she looked it over.

"Brooke, I don't know. Maybe it's too personal. I, I don't want…"

"No, it's okay. I want you to read it," she interrupted. "Out loud."

"But, Brooke…"

"I need to hear it out loud," she pleaded. "Please?"

Hesitating for a second longer and looking to Brooke for further consent, she slowly unfolded the already worn paper. Brooke smiled slightly.

"Okay, so maybe I already read it over a hundred times," she said. "I just wanted to make sure it said everything."

Nodding Heather and began to read.

_Dear Lucas, _

_It's almost morning as I sit here writing this and I still haven't decided if I'm doing this to make you feel worse or myself feel better. I wasn't even sure I had it in me to write down how I feel but once I sat down to actually do it, the words just kind of came to me. I guess this is what you meant by the words writing themselves. You of all people should know that words have never been my thing and until now I never cared too much about it. But at this very moment, words seem to be all I have. _

_It has been almost 7 months since I moved out here and almost 2 weeks since the birth of your daughter. A beautiful baby girl mixed equally with her mother and father. Haley called me. She told me you named her Brooklyn Lee Scott. I never thought you and Peyton would name your child after me. I'm not really sure how I feel about the whole thing either. At first I was shocked, then pissed, and now I feel nothing, so I guess take your pick. _

_My whole world seems to have changed in a matter of days. Moving to California, losing Peyton, Haley, and Nathan…losing you. It just happened so fast. One minute I was happily in love with you and the next, I'm consumed with something that couldn't be described as anything other than hate. Hate is a strong word, Lucas, one that shouldn't be used lightly. But after hearing Peyton tell me she was pregnant and you were the father, I never hated you or anyone else, for that matter, more. But the thing is I don't want to hate you. We've been through too much together for it to end like that but I can't love you either. So I guess for now I'm stuck in that thin line between love and hate. _

_When we first started dating back in sophomore year, I never thought of myself as anything other than a party girl. The girl guys slept with but never brought home to meet the parents. And up until the day you told me I didn't have to act like that, I was fine with who I was. I had plenty of friends, heaps of boyfriends, lots of money and as shallow as it sounds, Lucas, that was enough for me. Perhaps it was because my parents were never around or maybe because I watched Peyton lose her mother and then her father and I never wanted to feel that kind of pain. Or possibly it's because I knew I didn't deserve any better. That one night stands and random hookups were all I was meant for. And then you looked at me, across the pool table on our first date and I knew I couldn't hide anymore. You figured it out, you figured me out. And then something I never expected, happened. I fell in love for the first time. _

_It was premature and incredibly unworkable but knowing that didn't make my feelings for you any less real. I must have had my head in the clouds the entire time we were dating, otherwise I don't see how I didn't know what was going on behind my back. The signs were all there. You never picking up the phone, the brush offs, the smiles that never reached your face, the kisses that felt more like a chore than a desire, the guilt I saw in Peyton's eyes whenever she looked at me and more importantly the undeniable love I saw whenever she looked at you. _

_I think a part of me knew what was going on long before I saw it. And after, I was madder at myself than either of you because I knew better. Emotions like love and hope and phases like family were meant for people like Haley, not for girls like me. But you changed that, for the brief time we were together I found myself wanting the family, the babies, and a husband. Don't get me wrong, Lucas, I wasn't stupid enough to want it then but I knew I wanted it in my future and I wanted it all with you. _

_Do you remember the time you were in the hospital? I do. In fact, I have been thinking about it a lot lately. I had never been more afraid in my life. I was so scared I was going to lose you. I remember your first night there, your mother hadn't made it back from Europe and I didn't want you to spend the night alone. So I snuck back in after hours and spent the whole night holding your hand and telling you my dreams of the future. _

_I dreamt that we would get married on a breezy, summer day at the place you once told me was a big part of your life, the River Court. Your family would be there to support us and more surprisingly, my family. My father would walk me down the aisle and my mother would offer me "womanly" advice about becoming a wife. Peyton would be my maid of honor and Nathan, your best man. Haley would no doubt be the entertainment and Mouth would be involved somehow. It would be small but nice and only our close family and friends would be invited. We would stand across from one another declaring our unfaltering love. I know now that day will never come for us. _

_You see Lucas, the first time you didn't just break my heart, you destroyed my dreams for us and in doing that, for me as well. All my hopes for the future were invested in our relationship, in you. And in some ways I'm grateful for what happened. Because I never wanted to be the type of girl who lost herself in a relationship or the type who depended more on her boyfriend than herself but with you it was a temptation that I battled everyday. You wanted to fix me and I thought that was what I wanted, too. It wasn't until after I found out about you and Peyton that I realized I'm not that girl. I'm not the girl who gets so caught up in her boyfriend's life that she forgets she has one of her own or the type who quietly sits by while her boyfriend fools around. I can't be molded into that. I won't be. _

_I honestly can't tell you how I forgave you the first time but I can tell you why it's been so hard to forgive you this time. When you came back from Charleston, I'll admit I was afraid. I had just gotten Peyton back and I was scared that we couldn't all co exist but with time I was able to slowly let you back in. In fact it was a lot easier then I ever imagined. You were so caring and sincere. I couldn't help it. I had never been friends with a boy before and I wasn't sure it was even possible but one by one you made my doubts disappear. And before I knew it we had reached a level in our friendship that we never reached in our relationship…intimacy. I have been that honest with anyone in my life, not even Peyton. And then that's when things got complicated. _

_I was shopping with Peyton one day and she called me on my not so "friendship" feelings for you. I had been lying to myself for so long that I denied it until I found your "Peyton box". I was jealous, hurt, and angry that once again I got sucked back in all the love triangle drama. But more than anything I knew you would choose her, after all you had once before. So I buried my feelings, I told myself you weren't worth it, that all you would do was hurt me. It seemed to be working until the day I was set to go to California. You kissed me and I knew I was a goner. I knew that this time it was real, that my feelings were real but more importantly I know yours were too. But something held me back. Myself. _

_All I could think of was how Peyton came between us the first time. How the first time around, she meant more to you than me. I let those doubts and insecurities consume me all summer long until I realized they were pointless. I loved you and I was willing to risk that. I never imagined that you two would sleep with one another. Never. I was so sure that you loved me, that I finally had your heart. Cause if you don't know it, Lucas, that was all I ever wanted. So I came home. I came home for you, for us. Too bad I came home to an even bigger lie then the one I left behind. _

_You know that saying, It's better to have loved and lost then have never loved at all? I'm convinced who ever wrote that has no idea what it feels like to have your heart broken by the people you love most. I can't even begin to explain to you what it felt like knowing that you and Peyton were having a baby. It's not easy loving and hating someone all at the same time. _

_Perhaps I didn't do the right thing by running away but at the time all I could think about was getting as far away from you and Peyton as I possibly could. I don't regret moving here because this place has given me a best friend, a home, and in a weird way a family. There was a time in my life when you and Peyton were all the family I had but as I sit here writing this, I realize that neither of you deserve my love or me. You don't cheat, and you don't lie to those you love._

Heather's voice trailed off and she looked up at Brooke.

"That…um, that was good," she whispered in complete awe of the girl in front of her.

She had no idea. Suddenly feeling like the biggest jerk in the world, she turned towards her friend and started to apologize.

"Brooke I'm so sorry…I didn't know"

Laughing a little, Brooke asked, "What do have to be sorry about?"

Not wanting to explain, Heather shook her head.

"Never mind," she said, grabbing a hold of Brooke's hand as she assured her the letter was good and very much worthy.

"I don't know," Brooke said, still unsure.

"Well, I do and that was a good letter."

"It's not finished yet. I couldn't think of a way to end it until just a minute ago."

"Here," Heather handed her the letter. "Finish it."

Walking to the desk, Brooke glanced at her friend.

"Just give me a sec."

"Okay. Take all the time you need."

"Done", Brooke announced a few minutes later.

"Already?" Heather asked.

Brooke smiled shyly and shrugged.

"I knew what I wanted to say. Read it now."

Heather looked up at her friend.

"Are you sure? I mean, maybe the end is better left between you and Lucas."

Brooke shook her head.

"I want you to", she said as she played with her hands and assumed her place on the bed. "It's really important to me that you read it."

Smiling, Heather continued on where she left off just moments before.

_A friend told me recently that you can't shut off your feelings because if you do, ultimately you end up shutting out the world. I don't want to shut out the world anymore, Lucas. I want to live my life. I want to be happy. I deserve to be happy. I hope you understand that what you did will never be okay and we can never go back to what we were. Much like you, I've made a conscious choice and for the first time in my life, I choose me. And in choosing me, I can finally let you go…_

_ -Brooke_

Heather looked towards her friend, knowing just how much it took out of her.

"Now it's perfect," she whispered.

Brooke nodded.

"Yeah…I think so too."

Handing the letter back to Brooke, she carefully folded in half and placed it within an already labeled envelope.

"You're sending it?"

Brooke hesitated for a second.

"I think am."

Noticing a photo buried underneath hundreds of discarded papers, Brooke found the only picture of her and Lucas she had allowed herself to keep. It was the same one she had spent countless hours staring at since she had arrived. It was the same one that gave her comfort, as well as haunted her.

"What about the photo?" Heather asked.

Thinking for a moment and coming to decision, Brooke folded the picture in two and sealed it in the envelope along with the letter.

"He should have it, " she explained. "I don't need it anymore."

Heather had her doubts, especially over the last two weeks, whether or not Brooke was ever going to move on and let Lucas and her old life in Tree Hill go but after reading the letter and seeing the newfound confidence, Heather knew. Brooke had finally moved on.

"Hey, come with me."

Seeing the confusion on the other girl's face, Brooke elaborated.

"To the post office. I wanna mail this before I change my mind," she said.

------------------------

The drive was short and quiet, although many thoughts raced through both their minds. Ten minutes later, they arrived in front of their destination. Unbuckling her seatbelt, Brooke looked at Heather.

"Thanks for coming with me but I need to do this part by myself."

"Okay", Heather nodded. "No problem. I'll be waiting right here."

Smiling, Brooke climbed out the car and turned back.

"Thanks for everything Heather."

"That's what friends are for."

"Well, I don't know about all that but I do know that I wouldn't be here, mailing this letter if it hadn't been for you. Honestly it's what I needed, so thank you. I'll, um…I'll be right back…"

Brooke closed the car door and made her way over the drop box. And surprisingly with each step she took, she felt more as ease. She knew it was the right thing, the only thing. Looking down at the letter in her hand, she said a prayer to whoever was listening, _Please let him get this. I need him to understand how I feel._ Closing her eyes, she pulled back the latch and let the letter slip between her hands. She gasped a little from the loss. It sounded silly but that letter was the only tie she had with Tree Hill and now that tie was gone. It was a relief but also very scary. Tree Hill had been her home for the last 17 years and it was very frightening. But aside from all that, she knew she was going to be okay. After all she had the rest of her life to live.

"Everything okay?" a familiar voiced asked from behind her.

Turing around, Brooke sighed.

"Yeah. Yeah, I think it is."

Really smiling for the first time in long time, Brooke grabbed Heather's hand.

"Come on. Let's go do something fun."

"What?" Heather asked, laughing.

"Skinny dipping?" Brooke suggested with a grin, after a few seconds of thought.

"Brookeeee!" Heather gulped. "It's barely noon."

"And? It will be fun."

"I don't know…"

"Come on, it will be fun."

Giving up, Heather laughed.

"Okay. I can't believe I'm saying this but let's go skinny dipping."

"Awesome!" she squeaked. "Let's go. Friend."

Laughing all the way to car, Brooke took one last meaningful look at the drop box.

"Good bye, Lucas," she whispered.

Turning her attention to Heather, she gave her a wink and a smirk.

"Lead the way."

------------------------

TBC...


	30. Sisters

**Chapter 30**

**Sisters**

_8 years later…_

This was it, the moment of truth. One way or another, this call would change the rest of her life.

"Yes hi, this is Brooke Davis calling," she said. "I had a message on my machine."

"Hold please," the receptionist said.

Not waiting for a response the woman, hurried off to find her boss. Brooke had been put on hold one too many times. She had come to dread the word. A few seconds passed and still she could hear the faint sound of music playing in the background. She couldn't name the piece but she did recognize the composer. Beethoven was truly one of a kind.

"Ms. Davis, Mr. Stadt will speak with you now."

"Thank you," she muttered, obviously not excited about the upcoming news.

She heard the peeping of the call being transferred and then the all too familiar male voice.

"Brooke?"

"Yes, this is she."

"How are doing today, Brooke?"

"Fine thank you," she answered polity. "You called?"

"Yes, I did. Maybe you should come in."

"Thanks Mr. Stadt but I'd rather not."

The last place she wanted to be was there. It already held such awful memories. Getting directly to the point she asked, "Did it work?"

Mr. Stadt pinched his eyes at the question. She was blunt, he would give her that.

"Not this time."

Brooke closed her eyes at the news. She had known, you couldn't hide something like that.

"I see."

"Brooke, there is still time. We could always…"

"I'm afraid that won't be necessary Mr. Stadt," she interrupted. "I told you the previous time this was the last go around."

"Yes, but Brooke we hadn't tried…"

It would just be another endless and pointless course of action, Brooke was sick of them.

"I really don't see a point," she said. "It's been almost two years, Mr. Stadt. I think it's time I move on with my life."

"But Brooke…"

"Thank you for your time."

Pushing the off button on the cordless and putting an end to her already rising hope she placed the phone back on its charger. After hearing the frantic message for her to call as soon as possible, she been losing her control on her emotions. And after hearing the news she definitely needed to be in control. Taking a deep breath, Brooke tried to calm her nerves. But it wasn't working.

Walking to the mantel, high above her fireplace, she picked up the only photo frame she had. It had been taken at the beach, eight years ago. She and Heather had decided to go skinny-dipping. She wasn't sure how but they had managed to not get arrested and instead be proposition by an old pervert. He just happened to have his camera ready and willing to take pictures of the girls. They of course fended him off but not before he snapped a shot of them in just their towels, laughing like little schoolgirls. Besides being half naked and freezing cold, it was a good picture.

Chuckling at the memory, Brooke carefully placed it back on the mantel, next to masses of worthless knick-knacks. Walking to the kitchen, she grabbed a glass of water. Taking a sip, she reached for the phone. Dialing the number by memory, Heather picked up on the second ring.

Breathless and injured, Heather cringed.

"Ouch!"

Laughing, she asked, "What happened Heather-feather?"

Heather grinned at the all too familiar nickname. Brooke knew she hated it, I guess that was part of the appeal.

"Oh I tripped over my purse," she said. "So have you heard anything?"

Brooke sighed and Heather knew it wasn't good.

"There was a message on my machine when I got home from work."

"And?" an anxious Heather asked.

Shaking her head, Brooke sadly replied.

"No…no not this time."

Feeling her heart sink, Heather dropped into the nearest chair.

"Brookie…"

"No…no its okay," she butted in. "In a way I knew."

"But…" her voiced trailed off.

"I'm gonna be okay. I mean, I've bounced back from worst things then this," she said in a convincing voice.

Except she wasn't sure who she was trying to convince, herself or Heather.

"What are you gonna do?"

Brooke shrugged.

"I don't really know."

The painting in the dining room caught her eye. It was an old painting, completed back in the 1900s by some unknown but when Brooke first saw it, she knew she had to have it. It reminded her of her childhood home. The trees, the flowers, the people…all of it took her back to Tree Hill.

"I have some vacation time coming up, I was thinking of taking a trip," she said tearing her eyes away from the painting.

"A vacation?!?!" Heather said, outraged. "You can't possibly go on a vacation at a time like this, Brooke."

"Why the hell not?" she demanded, matter of fact. "This would be a perfect freaking time to get away."

"To get away?" she shouted. "Brooke aren't you going…I mean I thought maybe you would try again."

"I told you whatever happened, I wouldn't do it again."

"But Brooke…you can't possibly mean that," she said, her voice giving away her defeat.

Rubbing her eyes, Brooke fought for control once more.

"I'm sorry Heather but…I just can't."

"But you can't just give up!" she cried. "Brooke Davis is a fighter, remember."

"Heather, I'm not giving up", she defended herself. "I'm just taking a break, besides all this crap will be here when I get back."

"When are you leaving?" she asked, knowing it was pointless to fight with her.

Brooke laughed a little.

"You know, I haven't actually thought that far ahead."

Heather nodded.

"Well do you at least know where you are going?"

The painting caught her eye once more and it was on the tip of her tongue to say Tree Hill but she knew that would warrant countless other questions, none of which Brooke had an answer for.

"I have a few places in mind," she said. "Nothing is definite."

Heather hated the thought of Brooke going on vacation by herself. It was bad enough she lived alone in that enormous, over-priced apartment.

"Would you like some company?" she asked. "I could probably take a week or two off from work."

That was something she definitely didn't want. Heather was her best friend, the only family she had but with her there it really wouldn't be a vacation. It would be a nightmare.

"Not this time. I really need to be alone right now," she explained, almost feeling Heather's disappointment.

Brooke was pushing her away and she could sense it.

"I'm your friend, right?" Heather asked.

"Of course," Brooke said without hesitation.

"Then let me _be_ your friend," she begged. "You can't possibly be fine with this. I know you, Brooke. This has to be killing you."

Feeling the tears well up, Brooke angrily pushed them away with her feel hand. She hated crying, she always had.

"This isn't going to change anything, Heather," she cried. "I'm still gonna wake up in the morning and nothing will have changed so please just try to understand."

Covering her mouth with her hand, Heather struggled to hold in her tears. Taking a deep breath she reminded herself Brooke needed a friend, not a basket case.

"What can I do to help?"

"Get your ass over here and wallow in self-pity with me," she lightheartedly suggested.

Heather smirked. Leave it to Brooke to make her laugh when all she felt like doing was bawling.

"Okay," she said with her eyes finding the clock on the microwave. "It's 6:30 now, give me an hour and then I'll be there."

"No problem. You might what to pick some food up though. I'm empty here."

"Pizza sound good?"

"Whatever you want," she said while feeling the contents of her stomach making its way up her already raw throat. "I'm not all that hungry."

Without a goodbye, Brooke placed the phone back on the charger. She barely made it to the bathroom before all of the two crackers in her stomach came rushing up. Her body shook with each heave and her tears mixed in with her vomit. It was sometime later before she felt her queasiness passed. Running the back of her hand over her mouth, she rested her heavy head on the toilet.

_Breath in and out_, she reminded herself. _In and out_.

Picking her body off the floor, she snatched the toothbrush off the shelve. Angrily brushing her teeth, Brooke decided this was the last time she would get sick over this shit. It was there. It wasn't going away. Deal with it.

"Damnit!" she screamed at herself in the mirror. "This is your fault. You know better than to believe anything good can come your way."

_What a way to feel sorry for yourself_, a voice in her head yelled back.

"Oh shut up!"

Washing her mouth out, she chucked the light off and dramatically threw herself on top of her bed.

"Why couldn't it just go away!" she shouted at the top of her lungs while lashing her arms and legs in the air. "This wasn't supposed to happen to me. I did everything I was supposed to, I followed all the directions, I did everything and yet its still there!"

Life wasn't just unfair, it was freaking comedic. Bad things just kept happening and she was left dealing with them. How do you get over something so final, so life altering? Maybe the answer was you didn't. Rolling over on her side, she grabbed her pillow and laid her head on the edge. She wished at times like that, her mother was around. Heather was great but didn't have that special power that only Moms had…they could fix everything with a simple touch or a few words. Of course, she had never experienced that since her mother had never actually wanted to be a mom. After moving to California, eight years ago, Brooke had hoped that her non-existing relationship with her parents could be mended but it hadn't work out. They were never around and when they were, they were too busy fighting or partying to even notice their only daughter was slowly falling apart. And when they did notice, instead of being there, they sent her off to a shrink. That was the final blow. A year after living in L.A., Brooke moved in with Heather and hadn't spoken to her parents since. They didn't even know. No one did… except Heather.

She had been her rock through it all, her best friend, her sister. After the girls moved in with one another, they embarked on the college life. And without her parents' money, Brooke had to keep her grades up and hold down a job. It wasn't easy but she hung in there. And with Heather by her side every step of the way it was bearable. She was the graduating class of 2011 and the newest intern at Fever Style, Inc. It was a dream come true. The hours were long and the work demanding but Brooke never regretted a minute of it. All of it was well worth it in the end. Brooke became the proud owner of one of the fastest growing fashion lines in California, Clothes over Hoes.

She smiled at the thought of her label. It had originally started out as Clothes over Bros and it wasn't until almost a year into her intern that the idea of Clothes over Hoes came to her. The girls had decided a night out on the town was exactly what they both needed. Normally Brooke would have too much to drink and Heather would have to carry her home. Except that night was different. From the moment Brooke arrived at the club, until they left four hours later, she was miserable and drunk. It wasn't any one thing but instead a number of things. Her boss had been on her ass all day about sloppy designs, she broke her favorite pair of shoes, and the highlight was catching a glimpse of Lucas Scott, NBA all-star jumping guard on television. He shot the winning point in the Final championship and non-other than Peyton Sawyer and their daughter, Brooklyn, were there to congratulate him. She wasn't sure why it hurt but it did. Seeing them laughing and hugging, as well the result of their betrayal was more than Brooke could handle. She of course dealt with it in typical "Brooke Davis" fashion, which meant she got pissed face drunk. Heather had tried her best to lessen the amount of alcohol that night but it seemed every time she turned around, Brooke had another drink in her hand. They ended up getting kicked out of the club and it wasn't until the next day she got Brooke to confess what was wrong. And that was when the idea struck. Why not call her label Clothes over Hoes? The name was mainly a jab at Peyton but her boss loved it and soon it was well known. She had just opened shop number two in L.A. and business was already booming.

And now it felt like all of it was slipping away…

Closing her eyes and laying flat on her back, Brooke asked herself where was the one place in the world she wanted to go. And as much as she tried to ignore it, all she heard was Tree Hill.

--------------------

Twenty minutes later Brooke silently sat across from Heather, picking at her almost untouched piece of pizza. Taking a sip of coke, Heather eyes' caught Brooke's.

"Have you thought about where you want to go yet?" she asked.

"Yeah," Brooke answered quietly.

She waited a few minutes for a destination but got none.

"Are you going to tell me?"

Brooke pushed her plate away.

"Of course I was," she said. "I just wanted some time to get used to the idea."

"Okay. Is it a nice place?"

Brooke shrugged.

"It can be I guess." she answered. "At night, during the summer, the stars shine so bright there that I once tried to count them but I got bored after the 500th one so I stopped."

She chuckled at the memory.

"So you've been there before?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, um, I've been there once or twice."

She was obviously hiding something and not very well.

"You're not telling me something," Heather accused. "And I don't understand why."

Plopping her elbows on the dining room table, Brooke put her head in her hands.

"I'm not hiding anything. I promise."

"Well, then why does it feel like you are?"

"I don't know, okay?"

Feeling her eyes well up, she angrily brushed the useless tears away. She promised herself she wouldn't cry again. Heather, feeling her own tears beginning to form, let them fall. She learned a long time ago that hiding from your feelings, accomplished nothing.

"I just want to help you, Brooke…you're my best friend."

Looking away she struggled to fight off the turmoil of emotions inside of her. She had to be strong. Crying and wishing things weren't so was only going to make things worst for her in the end.

"Look I can't do this right now," she said while pushing her chair back and walking into the kitchen.

"Well that's just great, Brooke. You just sit there like nothing has happened and maybe all this shit will go away."

Brooke getting angrier herself, lashed out.

"Where in the hell do you get off? You're not the one who has to deal with this everyday and night."

Livid, Heather pushed her chair back and followed Brooke into the kitchen.

"How can you say that to me? I've been here with you every step of the way since day one!"

"Well being here and actually going through it are two completely different things!" Brooke yelled back.

"Oh, so I get it. Because I'm not going through it like you, I can't possible understand?" she barked.

"Yes!" Brooke screamed. "You can't understand it, not until you're there."

"You know Brooke, I'm sick of being pushed away. I've tried to get you to open up to me about this but it's like I'm talking to a brick wall. Nothing gets in and nothing gets out. When you're ready to talk, you know where I'll be."

Grabbing her purse off the counter she headed for the door. Rolling her eyes, Brooke grabbed her friend.

"Okay, fine. I'm sorry," she apologized. "I don't want you to leave."

Sighing, Heather threw her purse on the couch, and took a seat on the edge.

"You just don't understand how hard this is for me," Brooke admitted.

"Then tell me," she said. "Don't act like this doesn't bother you."

Plopping on the sofa, Brooke looked up at her friend.

"I hate it," she said. "I mean its not like I haven't been through it before but now…everything is so final."

Sliding down the edge of the couch, Heather pulled her feet underneath her and sat opposite Brooke.

"This isn't final," she assured her friend. "You can fight this, I know you can."

"That's just it," Brooke said, shaking her head. "I don't wanna fight it."

Heather grasped.

"But…"

"I've fought this for two years. Two years of my life are now gone and I refuse to waste anymore of my energy on fighting this."

"But to just give up…what does that mean?" she asked.

Looking Brooke in the eyes she knew the answer. And she didn't like it one bit.

"You can't possibly be serious!"

"What other option do I have?" Brooke asked.

Heather stood.

"To fight like hell," she shouted while pacing.

"I've already done that!"

"Well do it again," she said stopping directly in front Brooke.

"No…" she whispered. "It is what it is and I accept it."

Dropping to her knees, Heather threw her arms around Brooke.

"Oh God," she sobbed. "I just love you, Brooke. You're the sister I never had and I don't want to lose that."

"You aren't going too…I'll always be your sister. No matter what," she promised. "And I'm sorry about before. I shouldn't have pushed you away. I just didn't want to hurt you with my decision."

"I understand, but…"

"No buts, Heather. This is my decision," she interrupted. "And if you understand like you say you do, then you'll respect it."

"I'll try," she sniffled.

"Good," Brooke grinned. "Do you wanna help me pack?" she asked.

Heather wiped the tears from her eyes, stood up and offered her hand to Brooke.

"Only if you tell me where you're going."

Brooke laughed.

"What? I wanna know."

"Tree Hill," she whispered. "I'm going home."

--------------------------

TBC…


	31. You Always Have Candy

**Chapter 31**

**You Always Have Candy**

Lucas turned the corner on the familiar street and couldn't help but smile as his daughter's house came into view. He hadn't seen his little girl in almost three months and it had taken its toll on their relationship. It seemed the better he got at basketball, the worst he got at being a father. Except it hadn't always been that way. When Brooklyn was little, both she and Peyton traveled with the team. It wasn't easy but he and Peyton made it work, for Brooklyn. And then she got old enough to go to school and Lucas realized he couldn't keep his daughter on the road forever. She was getting older and he wanted her to experience all the joys and sorrows of attending a regular school like all the other kids. So he made a decision, during the school year, Brooklyn would stay with Peyton and in the summer, she was all his. He treasured every moment her had with her but it wasn't enough. He never wanted to be a part-time father and yet somehow that's what he had become. He missed his little girl's first day at school, her first spelling bee, her first sleep over, things he could never get back. So he turned in his jersey and announced his retirement. The coach hadn't been too happy, not that Lucas expected him to be but it was for the best. He sold his home in record time, uprooted all his belongings and moved back to his childhood home. Tree Hill.

It sure hadn't changed much. The trees, the places, it even smelled the same. He wasn't sure how he would feel moving back but it wasn't as bad as he expected. It was funny because once he was drifted into the NBA; he promised himself he would never be back… it held too many memories. Most were happy, carefree memories but the few that were bad outweighed the good. Whenever he thought of home, his heart took him to a place that he had long ago closed the door to.

Saying goodbye to his first love was the hardest thing he ever had to do. But as he pulled up along side the house and saw Brooklyn's bicycle lying in the driveway, he knew he made the right decision. There wasn't any other place in the world he wanted to be.

Putting the car in park and grabbing his bags from the truck, he walked to front door. Letting himself in like he had since he was a teenager, he called out, "Peyt?" Laying his keys on the side table and his bags on the floor, he walked farther in the foyer, "You here?"

Looking around at the newly remodeled family room, he was amazed at Peyton's talent. When she had inherited the place two years back it had been falling apart. He had offered to pay for the repairs but she wouldn't hear any of it, saying that fixing it would be half the fun. And apparently it had been because he swore he saw his little girl's handprints in the corner.

Chuckling Lucas made his way into the kitchen. Helping himself to a drink, he swallowed the water in one big gulp. Running the back of his hand over his mouth he put the dirty glass back in the cabinet.

"You know that's exactly why I could never live with you again."

Grinning, Lucas turned around.

"Peyt its good to see you," he said. "You look pretty as usual."

"Yea, yea. Lucas," she said just as equally happy to see him. "Give me a hug."

The two friends embraced one another. It felt good to be back.

"How are you?" Lucas asked first.

Peyton shrugged.

"Same old, same old," she answered. "But good."

Nodding, Lucas looked around the kitchen. "Damn Peyton you sure have changed this place. It looks beautiful."

"Thanks," she smiled. "It was hard but I'm quite happy with the results."

"So are you ready for a new roommate?" he asked grinning.

His decision to quit basketball had been made rather quickly and because of it he had no place to live. His mother, Karen had of course offered to let him have his old room as long as he needed it but he refused. She and her husband had only been married for just under a year and they were still in the honeymoon stage. He didn't want to intrude. So he asked Peyton if she wouldn't mind him crashing in one of the guest bedrooms until he found a house. She agreed.

"Well it depends," she said playfully.

Lucas raised him eyebrows.

"On what?" he asked.

"Whether or not you know how to wash dishes," she said, opening the cabinet she reached for his used glass and held it out to him. "Around here we wash our dirty glasses."

Lucas laughed.

"You caught that, huh?"

"Yup," she said.

Taking the glass from Peyton's hand, Lucas proceeded to wash it. She patted him on the back.

"Oh and just so you know, I catch everything around here."

Laughing he said, "I'll keep that in mind."

"Good. Now Brooklyn gets out in about an hour. Wanna pick her up together?"

"Does she know I'm here?" he asked while drying his hands.

Peyton shook her head.

"I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Okay."

Grabbing an apple off the counter and taking a bite, he threw an arm around Peyton's shoulders.

"Why don't you show me to my new room first?"

Laughing, she led up him the stairs and to the right.

"Your old room?" he asked with his eyebrows raised in typical Lucas fashion. "This room holds lots of memories."

Ignoring his comment, Peyton opened the door to her old room.

"Don't worry, it's not black anymore," she said.

Well it certainly wasn't black but Lucas didn't think this was any better.

"Yellow?"

Peyton shrugged.

"What? It's supposed to relax you," she explained with a teasing glint in her eyes.

"But yellow?" he threw his bags on the bed. "I hate yellow."

He had ever since he was little. It reminded him of his mother's squash casserole. It was the only thing she couldn't make and if you asked her she wouldn't deny it. Last time she made it; she and Lucas both spent most of the next day in the bathroom.

"It's pretty besides it matches your hair," she said laughing.

Touching his hair, Lucas asked, "Hey! What's wrong with my hair?"

"If you have to ask then you're worse off then I thought. It's yellow, Lucas!"

The boy was seriously in denial if he thought his hair looked good.

"Ha ha!" he said playfully.

"What?" Peyton asked innocently. "I only speak the truth."

"I guess I could use a hair cut and maybe some coloring," he said catching his do in the side mirror. "Is Olga's still in the mall?"

She nodded.

"But it's now by appointment only."

"Well then I guess I better make an appointment," he said matter of factly.

"See if you can make it for Saturday," she said. "Me and Brooklyn were planning a trip there anyways."

"Okay, that will be fun. I can't wait to see her. I know it's only been three months but I feel like I've missed so much, you know? I just don't want to miss anymore."

"Well believe me she'll be very excited to see you. She really misses you, Luke."

"I miss her, too…so much."

Taking a seat on the edge of the bed, he patted the space next to him.

"Come here. I wanted to talk you about something."

"About what?" Peyton asked, taking a seat.

"I love Brooklyn and well these last few years I haven't been able to spend a lot of time with her and well I was thinking maybe…"

"Sorry but you can't live here," she interrupted. "It would be too weird."

Lucas laughed.

"Well thanks for offer Peyton but I don't want to live with you."

She nodded.

"Well then what?"

"I was hoping maybe you would let Brooklyn live with me until after summer," he said. "I know it will be a change but I think it would be good for us."

"I don't know…" Peyton started.

She knew Lucas missed his daughter but living with him? Not that he was a bad father because he wasn't but Brooklyn had always lived with her. This was her home.

"I know it's asking a lot but I just want some time with her. You can understand that, can't you?"

"Yes of course Lucas but this is her home…"

"And it still will be," he assured her. "Will you just think about it?"

She nodded. Walking to the door Peyton turned around.

"I'll leave you to unpack," she said, checking her watch. "I'm leaving to get Brookie in about 45 minutes, if you still want to come."

Lucas looked down at his grimy 2-day-old clothes.

"I'm gonna change first and then I'll meet you downstairs."

Closing the door on her way out Peyton leaned against the frame. This was going to be much harder than she had originally thought. She never imagined he would want Brooklyn to live with him. She wasn't against it, it just more or less it caught her off guard. And she wasn't exactly sure how she felt about it either. It was bad enough she never got to see Brooklyn during the summer and to add the remaining 4 months on top of that, was depressing.

------------------------

Looking around at his room, which used to be Peyton's, Lucas couldn't help but think about all that had transpired in this room. He was hit with memory after memory. The first time he ever been in here was after he got in the car accident. He should have never come but his heart was aching for the skinny blonde and he didn't want to spend another minute without her. Of course if he knew then what he knew now he would have never risked it. At that moment he had put so much on the line and caused some many things to happen. It wasn't worth it in the end. For either of them.

Unbuttoning his shirt, Lucas grabbed a clean one out of his duffel bag. He knew Peyton wasn't happy about Brooklyn living with him but he also knew it wasn't because she didn't trust him. She didn't want to get push out of her little girl's life and that was one thing he understood completely. He just had to assure her that this house would always be Brooklyn's home but that didn't mean Lucas couldn't provide a home for her as well. He would win her over in time but until then he would keep it to himself. Reaching for his cellphone, Lucas dialed a familiar number. He wondered if they had time to meet him and Brooklyn for an early dinner at the café.

"Hales?"

"Hey Buddy," she said. "You in town yet?"

He missed her calling him buddy.

"Yeah, just got in," he said. "Me and Peyton are about to go pick up Brooklyn from school."

"What has it been 3 months since the last time you saw her?"

"Yes. Way too long. Listen, I was calling to see if you guys wanted to meet me and Brooklyn at the café at 5:30?"

Haley thought for a moment.

"Let's make it 6:00. Landon has soccer practice until 5:30 tonight."

"He's playing soccer now?" he asked. "I thought Nathan was trying to get him into basketball."

"He still is but you know Landon, he does the exact opposite of whatever Nathan wants him to," she said, laughing.

"How's Nathan taking it? He always said his son would be the next Michael Jordan."

"Like he does everything else. He's in complete denial," Haley chuckled to herself.

"Okay so we'll meet you at the café at 6:00. I'll see if Peyt wants to come."

"Alrighty see you there!"

Hanging up Lucas couldn't help but think that it was great to be back in Tree Hill.

-----------------------------

The two parents hadn't been in the car for more than 5 minutes when Peyton brought up the subject of Brooklyn.

"So I thought about you and Brooklyn living together," she said taking her eyes off the road and looking at Lucas.

"And?" he asked.

"Well I think it would be a major change for her," she started.

"I know Peyt but I think it would be good for us and I really…"

"It would be so that's why I'm agreeing to it," she interrupted. "But there are a few things that you have to agree to."

Grabbing her hand, Lucas squeezed it.

"Thank you so much Peyton."

"Don't thank me yet," she said seriously. "First I want her every other weekend."

Lucas nodded.

"Okay I can agree to that."

"Second I want her at least two weeks in the summer."

"That's fine."

"Good," she said. "Just remember her home is with me. This is only temporarily."

"I know Peyt."

He would never take that away from his little girl or her mother.

"Well now that we got that out of the way," she said. "Lets go pick up our girl."

Lucas' heart swelled at the generosity of the woman beside him and for a split second he wondered why they never ended up together. But just as quickly as the thought appeared, it disappeared. He and Peyton would never work. His heart belonged to her absent, fiercely best friend. It always had.

_Brooke Davis. _

Just being here, in Tree Hill, made him feel like he was closer to her somehow. Like this place was linked to her. Every corridor he turned, every street he crossed, he would be remained of her, her eyes, her dimples, her smile.

God he missed her. It had been almost seven years since anyone had heard from her but there wasn't a day that went by when he didn't find himself thinking of her. Wondering what she was doing, if she was safe, if she was happy. Goodness how he hoped she was happy. She was probably married by now, to a man who cherished the ground she walked on, who never made her cry or doubt herself. He wanted to be that guy for her but he always fell short. It took his breath away thinking about another guy touching her, holding her, making love to her. He imagined it was what she felt like knowing that he had slept with Peyton. He felt sick just thinking about it.

"Lucas?" Peyton called out. "We're here."

_Nothing._

Placing the car in park she unbuckled her seat belt.

Waving her hands in from of his face she asked, "Luke, you there?"

Blinking his eyes, he turned in his seat.

"Yeah?"

Laughing Peyton said, "There you are. I thought I lost you."

Lucas smiled.

"Sorry I was just thinking about some stuff."

"Care to share?"

Lucas hesitated.

"Look I know Haley would be your first choice but she's not here and I have been told more than once that I'm a good listener," she emphasized.

Looking out the window, Lucas ran his hand through his hair. Something he always did when upset.

"Do you ever think about her?" he asked.

She knew who _her _was.

Brooke Davis.

Shifting in her seat, she stared at the car in front of her. Of course she thought about her. It's hard not to when your daughter is named after her. They were best friends at one point and now she didn't know what they were, if they were anything at all.

"All the time Lucas. All the time," she answered honestly.

Lucas nodded.

"What about you?" she asked.

He shrugged.

"The same but being here...I feel closer to her, you know?"

"Almost like she never left?"

"Yeah," he said. "I know we didn't give her much of a choice but selfishly I never thought we would end up like this."

He had always held out hope that in the end Brooke would realize that he loved her that somehow everything would all work out.

Looking out the window, Lucas wondered if Brooke had ever tried to contact anyone from Tree Hill.

"Have you ever heard from her?" he asked.

Peyton shook her head.

"Not since that time in the hospital."

Lucas sighed.

"I don't think I've ever missed someone as much as I miss her."

Smiling slightly, Peyton asked, "We're friends, right?"

"Of course, Peyt," he said. "You're one of my best friends. You've been there through everything,"

"Don't take this the wrong way but Luke, Brooke isn't coming back. No one has heard from her in years. She's moved on Lucas," laying her hand on his shoulder in a friendly manner she whispered, "Maybe you should too."

Thinking for moment Lucas turned towards Peyton.

"Do you remember that night in sophomore year? You know the night we were going to tell her that we had feelings for one another?" he asked, pointing to each other.

Peyton nodded.

"Yes," she mumbled.

How could she forget? Lucas had almost been killed that night.

"Me and Brooke went to the docks after leaving your house," he said. "She listened to me talk about Keith and my Mom and how I thought they were perfect for one another. And you know what she said to me?"

She shook her head no.

Grinning, Lucas said, "She told me people who are meant to be together always find their way in the end."

Peyton smiled. Brooke was always a helpless romantic at heart. Many people wouldn't have guessed that but she knew _her_, inside and out.

"I couldn't help but think of _you_ when she said it," Lucas said. "My feelings for you were so strong at that point. But as the months went on I realized that she was talking about her and me. It was almost like she knew. Like she knew we would lose our way but in the end, find our way. I know it doesn't make any sense…"

"No, it does," she interrupted. "I just…she's been gone for so long, Lucas."

"I know and maybe you're right, maybe I should move on."

This conversation was getting them nowhere.

"Listen Luke maybe we should save this conversation for another day. This is supposed to be a happy day."

It was a happy day. He hadn't been home in years and it felt great to be back in Tree Hill. It still felt like home, bad memories and all. And to top it off in less then a few minutes his daughter would be in his arms.

"Well this is Brooklyn's school. She comes out right there," Peyton said pointing to pair of side doors. "She's gonna be so happy to see you."

"As am I," he said. "I feel like it has been forever since I've seen her. I bet she's grown."

Peyton chuckled.

"Like a weed. The girl eats like a horse."

Lucas rubbed his stomach.

"Speaking of eating. I'm starved," he said while searching in Peyton's purse to see if she had any candy.

"Hey!" Peyton snatched her purse out Lucas' hands. "That's my purse!"

"What?" Lucas asked innocently. "I'm hungry."

"Well what does that have to do with my purse?"

"You always have candy," he said, as if that explained it.

Peyton couldn't help but smile. Yes, it was good to have him home. Very good indeed.

tbc

-------------------------------------------

_So either you hate me for this chapter or you hate me because I haven't updated in almost a month? Or maybe both? I'm sorry about all the LP but they do share a child and I would like to think even in the worst situations, people can be friends. And thats what they are, **friends**..._

_I know some of you aren't liking where I'm taking this butttt to be fair would you like it if I just had Brooke forgive and forget? I think in order for someone to come to terms and deal with a situation like theirs, they have to grow up and move on. And then maybe find their way home again..._

_Just remember life isn't always perfect and alot times you don't realize what you have until you've lost it. Or atleast keep that in mind while reading my story! _

**REVIEW!!!!!!!!**


	32. Take It To The Grave

**Chapter 32**

**Take It To The Grave**

Flipping her phone shut, Haley placed it on the counter. Lucas was home. Her best friend was home, _finally_.

In her opinion he hadn't been home in far, far too long. She knew he still carried scars from his messy, drama-filled teenage years but Tree Hill was his home, drama-filled or not. After all this was where his family lived and most importantly his daughter.

Of course, one would wonder how he managed to have any type of fatherly relationship with Brooklyn considering Lucas hadn't set foot in Tree Hill in years. It was simple, Peyton flew her out to Dallas every summer and then back home. His daughter, her niece had flown on more planes then Haley guessed Tree Hill's airport operated. She supposed after a while the arrangement had become habit. Lucas lived in Dallas while Peyton and Brooklyn resided in Tree Hill. No one questioned it and no one complained.

But Haley offered wondered how Peyton felt about the whole thing. It couldn't have been easy, raising a child on her own. Financially Peyton and Brooklyn were secure, Lucas made sure of that but what about emotionally? As far as she could Lucas hadn't been there for Peyton since before he had gone on the road without them. And the sad part was no one seemed to notice what, if any, effect it had on Brooklyn. Fortunately at the time she was too little to question why Mommy and Daddy no longer lived together or why all of a sudden her home was sometimes a tour bus.

The child adjusted of course. What choice did she have? She was after all the kid and they the adults. And with time she came to love the old house her mother was trying to turn into a home. It helped that she was easily liked at her new school and before long her life on the road was forgotten. The only thing Brooklyn couldn't understand was why she only saw her daddy in the summer. Before the move to Tree Hill, she and Lucas had been close, like any father and child should but after the move, not so much. But Haley hoped with Lucas' recent transfer, he and Brooklyn would once again reconnect.

Once, many years ago after the two moved to Tree Hill, Haley asked Peyton how she felt about it all and she confessed something Haley would never forget.

"_It's easier this way," she said. "As long as he stays away, he can pretend she isn't gone."_

_Laying her hand on top the blonde's, Haley asked, "What about you?" _

_Smiling slightly, Peyton assured her that it really wasn't that bad._ _But_ _she was lying and they both knew it. It was horrible and each day it got a little worst. But she couldn't tell her friend that. In any case she had caused it all and the guilt was eating her alive. So what if her daughter's father was never around and so what if she felt more alone than she ever had in her life? So what if she didn't have her best friend or her father anymore? What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? _

"_I'm used to it," she explained._

"_Peyt…" Haley started._

"_It's my fault anyways," she admitted. "Lucas won't come home because of what we did and Brooke…well Brooke probably wishes she never met me. Not that I can blame her."_

"_That's not true," she defended but Haley knew it was. _

The bouncing brunette wanted nothing to do with the blonde she once called "best friend" or the boy she once called "Broody". She always figured something like that would happen when it came to the never-ending love triangle. Lucas was indecisive, always had been. She didn't doubt which girl he loved but for some reason or another, Lucas couldn't make up his mind. Not really anyways. Yes, he said over and over again that he was in love with Brooke but he had slept with Peyton. He had even had a baby with Peyton. He said the reason had been loneliness that it was an accident but what in life was ever really an accident? Mistakes happened, yes. Bad timing of course but accidents she wasn't so sure. No one had forced Lucas to sleep with Peyton that night; he had chosen to do so all on his own. Was it bad timing that Peyton got pregnant? Without a doubt. But maybe it was supposed to happen that way. Maybe there was an underlining meaning to the whole mess that no one had yet guessed. Maybe, just maybe they were meant to learn something from it.

"_Yes it is," Peyton said, shaking her head. "I just never… never thought I would be doing this alone. Lucas is a great dad, don't get me wrong, but he's not here."_

_Being a mother herself, Haley knew the ups and downs of being a parent but she had always had Nathan to fall back on. Peyton had no one. Squeezing her hand Haley couldn't help but feel bad for her friend._

"_Have you maybe tried talking to Lucas?" _

_She glanced in Haley's direction._

"_What for?" she asked. "He wouldn't understand."_

"_Then make him," Haley declared as if it was that easy. _

_Peyton rolled her eyes. _

"_What's the point? I mean, it's not like it's gonna change anything. Tomorrow I'll wake up and everything will still be as I left it today."_

"_Well that's depressing," Haley said in an attempt to lightly the mood. _

"_The story of my life," Peyton said sarcastically. "One fuck up right after another." _

_Haley sighed. _

"_Everyone makes mistakes."_

_Looking her friend in the eyes Peyton confessed something she swore she'd never tell another breathing soul._

"_Who said it was a mistake?" she whispered._

"_Wh…what?" Haley gasped. _

"_I regret hurting Brooke, I really do but…that night I just wanted to feel like someone loved me. Jake had just left and I was upset," she hurried on, afraid if she stopped she wouldn't finish. "When I first spotted Lucas walking towards me that night I knew what was gonna happen and God forgive me but I didn't care. I didn't care that it was going to hurt Brooke or that he loved her or that I loved Jake." _

_Feeling the hot tears plunge down her face she willed the girl in front of her to understand, to not hate her. To see her side. _

"_What…what are you saying?" Haley asked. "Did you purposely sleep with Lucas?" _

_Closing her eyes, Peyton nodded her head. _

"_Yes, no, kind of…I don't know," she half whispered and half sobbed. _

"_Don't know…" Haley repeated. "How can you not know something like that?" _

"_I was confused that night," Peyton explained. "I loved Jake but he left and Lucas…"_

"_Lucas what?" she angrily asked._

"_Lucas was there," she declared. "He was always there."_

"_What about Brooke?" Haley asked. "What about Jake? Did you think of anyone other than yourself?"_

Looking back she knew she was being irrational but hearing Peyton's confession was more than Haley could grasp or even understand. This was the girl who cried endlessly when Brooke first left. Who, out of love or so Haley thought, named her daughter after her best friend and who was now telling her, she might or might not have deliberately slept with Lucas.

"_Haley, please…" she pleaded._

_Peyton reached for Haley's hand but she snatched it away. _

"_Don't touch me."_

_She stepped back as if she had been slapped._

"_You said it was a mistake, that you never meant for it to happen."_

"_It was," Peyton defended herself._

_Haley continued as if she hadn't heard the disheveled blonde._

"_And this whole time you knew what you were doing. What kind of person does that to her best friend? To anyone they're supposed to love?"_

_Peyton's body shook with each accusation Haley threw her way. _

"_For God sake's, Peyton, they were in love!" she screamed. _

"_I know!" she cried. "Alright? I know! And I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. But don't act like I'm the only one responsible, Lucas was there too." _

"_You selfish, little…" her voice trailed off as she took a deep breath and counted to ten before continuing. "I'm well aware Lucas was there and he's just as much to blame as you but you still knew what you were doing." _

_Peyton shook her head._

"_No…I didn't," she sobbed. "I knew what I was doing but at the same time I didn't, if that makes any sense. I wasn't thinking straight."_

"_Did you plan to get pregnant as well?" Haley asked with disgust. _

_Peyton winced at the question. Although on some levels she supposed she deserved it, it still hurt. She and Haley had gotten close over the months and it shocked her that the girl in front of her could think so little of her._

"_I wasn't supposed to get pregnant, Haley. You have to believe that part," she defended herself once more. _

"_Why should I?" she asked. "You've lied to me from the beginning." _

_Dropping her head in her hands Peyton sobbed. _

"_I didn't know how to tell you. I was afraid you would hate me…and now you do" _

"_No!" Haley said firmly. "You don't get to turn this around to where you're the victim, Peyton. Not this time." _

"_I'm not trying too…"_

_Haley smirked. _

"_You always do," she said. "It's not your fault you slept with Lucas, is it Peyton? It's Jake's and Brooke's, I mean after all they're the ones that left you, right? It didn't matter that Jake didn't want to leave or that California was the last place Brooke wanted to be. You figured since they left, Lucas was what? Fair game?"_

"_What?" Peyton cried. "No! It wasn't like that. I just wanted to forget even it was just for a moment. I didn't want to feel alone anymore."_

"_You know, Peyton most people just get drunk off their ass. They don't slept with their best friend's soon to be boyfriend, who they happened to have cheated with the year before."_

_She winced. If only she had just gotten drunk. _

"_Does Lucas know?" _

_Peyton shook her head no. _

"_Are you planning on telling him?"_

"_I haven't actually thought about it," she whispered. "I'm not sure why I even told you." _

From the moment the conversation happened, Haley wasn't sure why she had told Peyton to take the secret to the grave. Lucas deserved to know the truth, everyone did, but she just didn't see what good it would do. Lucas and Peyton had moved on, had forgiven one another, and the other person, perhaps the one who it would hurt the most, wasn't around. What Brooke didn't know couldn't hurt her, right? Over time Haley convinced herself she was doing the right thing. No one needed to know yet for some reason she couldn't shake the feeling that just like Peyton, she too was making a mistake.

"Mommmmmm!"

Rolling her eyes at the mess she was sure to found in the just cleaned dining room, Haley called out to her son.

"Landon, I just cleaned up in there," she said. "Please tell me you remembered to take your shoes off when you came in."

Landon looked guilty down at the now brownish stains on the cream-colored carpet.

"Oh Landon…how many times do I have to tell you to take your shoes off?" she nagged. "I just had this carpet cleaned today."

Landon looked up at his mommy with his famous Scott eyes that got to Haley each and every time.

"Oh no you don't, young man," she said with her hands on her hips.

"But Mommy, it was accident," he said. "I didn't mean to."

"Honey, I know you didn't mean to but you need to start being more careful, okay. For me?"

Landon smiled.

"Okay Mommy."

Throwing his backpack on the floor he followed his mother into the kitchen.

"Good. Now how was school today?"

Grabbing an orange off the table, Landon rambled on about his day.

"It was so cool, Mommy. Today was show and tell and my friend, Brian he brought a snake to school. And it was this big."

Landon held out both arms as far as they could reach.

Haley laughed.

"That big, huh?"

Landon nodded.

"It was the coolest thing I've ever seen."

"Well, I'm glad," she said. "Did everyone like your autographed basketball?"

Landon shrugged.

"Some people thought it was cool."

"Only some?" she asked. "Didn't everyone like it?"

"Everyone but Roger."

Haley knew immediately who her son was talking about. Roger Bell was an only child of extremely wealthy parents and as a result, was spoiled rotten. Since school had started back in August, he made it his mission to terrorize her son. Pulling a chair out, Haley motioned Landon over. Kneeling, Haley softly asked her son to explain exactly what Roger had said and done. Her baby's big blue eyes filled up with tears.

"He called me a baby in front of everyone," he cried. "And then he called my show and tell stupid…said that Daddy wasn't really a basketball player."

Haley pulled her son into her arms.

"Sweetie, your daddy was a real basketball player," she said gently rubbing his back. "He stopped playing so he could spend more time with us."

"I wish he hadn't," Landon sobbed. "Mommy, why doesn't Roger like me?"

Her heart broke for her son. How did she explain to a seven year old that sometimes people just weren't going to like you? That sometimes for no reason at all people went out their way to hurt you. Or that sometimes it was the people you loved the most who ended up hurting you the worst. She wanted to protect her son from all of it. The heartache, the pain, the tears but she wasn't sure she could. But she would be damned if she didn't try.

"Landon, Roger does like you," she started. "He's just jealous that his daddy works in a big, old, boring building."

"But Daddy works in one too," he protested.

"Yes, well Daddy's office is more fun," she said. "Do you think Roger's daddy lets him run around his office like he is Superman? Or lets him spin in his chair so much that he can barely walk? Or dresses up and plays Batman and Robin?"

Landon shook his head. None of his friend's fathers did those things. There were always too busy.

"Your Daddy wouldn't be able to do those things if he still played basketball."

Landon thought about it for a moment and then decided that he was very happy his Daddy no longer played basketball.

"When is Daddy coming home?"

Looking at her watch, Haley realized it was almost 4:00.

"Shoot! We're gonna be late for soccer practice if we don't hurry."

Wiping his eyes, Landon shot out of his chair and made a mad dash for the stairs, pulling his shirt off as he went.

"Mommy, don't forget the snacks today. It's your turn," he said completely forgetting about his father coming home and Roger and everything else.

"Landon!" she called out. "Don't throw your dirty clothes on the kitchen floor."

Of course he hadn't heard a word. He was too busy racing up the stairs to care what his mother had said.

Haley rolled her eyes for the second time that day. Boys!

Can't live with'em and you can't live without'em.

Or at least she couldn't.

Not that she ever wanted to.

----------------------

tbc...

Just wanted to thank everyone for reading and reviewing my story! It means alot...


	33. You Never Were A Good Liar

**Chapter 33**

**You Never Were A Good Liar**

Somehow, unknown to him, he managed to leave work in enough time to actually make it to Landon's soccer practice. The games he never missed but as far as practices were concerned, it was anyone's guess whether or not the retired NBA star, Nathan Scott, would attend. But one call from his wife, urging him to be there had him rushing throughout the afternoon to finish in time. It had been the day of Landon's show and tell and with the little information he had received, he could only guess it hadn't gone to well.

"_That little shit was mean to my baby," Haley whispered to a laughing Nathan. "It's not funny. Why must he be so mean?" _

"_Babe, you do realize you called a six year old a little shit?" he asked. _

"_Yes, well it's the truth," she defended. "Landon has never done anything but try to be friends with that boy and Roger just tortures him. Do you know today he called him a baby in front of everyone? How dare her humiliate Landon in front of his friends?" _

"_Hales, they're kids," he said as if that explained the other boy's behavior. "I'm sure Landon is fine."_

_Pushing the phone higher up on her ear, Haley leaned on the counter. _

"_Nathan," she said defensively. "Landon was crying. You know I hate it when he cries."_

"_I know you do, I do too but he isn't a baby anymore," he said. _

_Landon was her first born and the way things were going possibly her last. They had been trying for months to conceive again and still nothing. Haley was beginning to lose hope. _

"_He's my baby," she mumbled. "I just don't see why Roger doesn't like him. Landon is the sweetest, cutest little kid in Tree Hill. Everyone loves him."_

"_Well of course they do. He's a Scott."_

_Haley couldn't help but laugh at her husband. _

"_God you are so bad," she said. "Can you please just do something?" _

"_Okay Hales," he started. "I'll talk to him tonight."_

"_Why don't you meet us a soccer practice?" she asked. "He'll like that. And then after we're meeting Brooklyn and Lucas for dinner. It should be fun." _

_Nathan couldn't remember the last time he saw his brother. He knew of his recent retirement and move to Tree Hill but hadn't had the time to call him. He relied on Haley for that. _

"_Okay, let me finish up some paperwork and I'll meet you guys. When does practice start?" he asked. _

"_In the next 30 minutes," Haley said and then laughed. _

_Nathan smiled. _

"_Okay I'll be there. Love you."_

"_Ditto."_

Nathan was more a basketball man himself and would have loved for his only son to follow in his footsteps but it hadn't worked out that way. Landon seemed to already hate the game. He suspected it's was more his father's doing than anything else. Nathan did his best to keep the likes of Dan Scott away from his son but he was his grandfather. The only one he had considering Haley's father had died when he was just two.

Not to say Dan wasn't a good grandfather because he was but in his eyes basketball was life. And that was definitely something Nathan never wanted his son to know. Instead he wanted his son to know the meaning of family, of love, of trust. Things Nathan had never learned until he met Haley. Haley was and always would be his guardian angel. She had saved him from himself.

She was also the one who encouraged him to let Dan have a relationship with Landon. Nathan was unsure at first, not fully trusting his father but then he figured if Haley saw something good in Dan then who was he to disagree? After all she had seen something in him worth saving not to long ago.

The day Nathan found out he was going to be a father, he had made a promise to his unborn child as well as himself that basketball would stay just a game and not become a duty. And that was one promise he intended to keep. So if Landon wanted to play soccer then so be it and if a time came when he wanted to play basketball, Nathan would support him fully. He guessed it was something fathers were suppose to do. You'd figure he would have being a dad down pat after six years but Nathan was still learning.

And enjoying every minute of it.

**---------------------------------------**

Soccer practice ended all too soon. And then the call came.

"Not now," Haley complained. "We have dinner plans."

She knew the look her husband was currently sporting. It only meant one thing. He was needed at the office.

"Hales, I'm sorry but it's urgent," he replied. "Please don't be mad. They wouldn't have called me if they absolutely didn't need me."

Haley sighed.

"I not mad. It's just you haven't seen Lucas since Christmas and I was looking forward to having dinner with you."

"I promise I'll take you somewhere special when I get back…tomorrow," Nathan started down the benchers.

"Tomorrow?" Haley grabbed her purse and followed him down. "You have to go out of town?"

"Babe, it's only for one night and when I get back I'll take the rest of the week off," he bargained with her.

"Nathan…" she warned clearly irritated with the conversation. "Why can't you just go tomorrow?"

"Because my flight's tonight."

Sneaking an arm around his wife, Haley settled into his embrace.

"I know it's short notice and normally I would have told them no but it's my project and I wouldn't feel right sending someone else," he explained. "Please understand?"

"Oh all right," she said. "At least let Landon and me take you to the airport."

"No…no that's okay. You had plans. You guys go have dinner with Luke," he said. "Give Brooklyn a hug for me."

"Are you sure?" she asked, stepping out of his arms.

Nathan smiled.

"Of course. Tell little brother I said hi."

"You know as well I do you're the little brother," she laughed.

"I know," he said. "But it pisses Lucas off and I never miss opportunity to…"

"Piss him off?" she finished for him. "We know."

Nathan pulled her to him once more and lightly touched her lips with his.

"I love you, you know?" he muttered between kisses.

"I know that too," she giggled. "But I never get tired of hearing it."

**-------------------------------------**

Brooke wasn't sure what possessed her to get on a plane to Tree Hill in the first place. It seemed like a good idea back in the safety of her apartment. But now that she was just under an hour away from stepping foot in the one place she swore she'd never see again and she wasn't sure she could do it.

She felt 18 years old all over again. _What if Lucas and Peyton were together? What if they had gotten married? Had more children? _Was she in love with Lucas? No, but could she handle seeing him with someone else, specifically Peyton? She had been so sure it didn't matter. That she was over what happened back in high school but as the plane touched down she realized there were just some things in life you never forget, no matter how hard you try, no matter how much you move on. Oh why hadn't she just listened to Heather when she told her traveling to Tree Hill was the last thing she needed to do.

"_You need your family right now," she said. _

At one point they had been her family and now they were nothing but strangers. Strangers who were in for a very big surprise.

She knew Nathan and Haley still lived in Tree Hill. Karen had told her and she had her suspicions that Peyton and Brooklyn did as well. Of course it was never talked about. Whenever the two friends spoke, neither her son, granddaughter nor Peyton were ever mentioned. Brooke gathered at first Karen did it out of respect for her and now she supposed out of habit.

Who would have thought out of everyone she kept in touch with it would be Karen Roe, the mother of the boy who broke her heart so long ago. Brooke guessed that out of everyone she left behind, Karen was only one she could trust. Haley and her weren't close and Nathan had never been a friend so it really only left Karen. It was sad to think that she had been so starved for affection in her teenage years even after realizing Nathan and Haley and her weren't the best of friends she still considered them family.

Karen knew of Brooke's success in the fashion industry and of her penthouse apartment but other than that her life was a mystery. Not that the mother of one didn't try but Brooke was a closed book. Nothing got in and nothing got out. Karen suspected it was because of what happened but Brooke would never confirm one way or the other.

Every relationship Brooke managed to have, with the exception of Heather, had only gone so far. There had been hook-ups of course, countless ones actually, none of which left a big impression on her. For one reason or another, so she claimed, Brooke just couldn't bring herself to trust another man. Her judgment had let her down once before and she had paid dearly for it. She was in no hurry to make the same mistake again. And if you asked her, she'd tell you she didn't believe in love, at least not the kind of love between a man and a woman.

Heather, being married herself, struggled to convince her otherwise but Brooke wasn't hearing it. After her parent's abandonment and Peyton and Lucas' betrayal there just wasn't anything left. Something inside of her had just shut off. Not to say she wasn't happy. She was. Brooke was the spitting image of a carefree, independent, and confident young woman. But just like everyone else she had her inner demons to battle.

-----------------------------------

The easy part was getting off the plane; the hard part was deciding where she wanted to go first. Did she want to stay in Charlotte for the night and start fresh in the morning or get a cab and head straight for Tree Hill?

Knowing Brooke, if she didn't head towards Tree Hill right away, she probably never would. But for countless reasons she just wasn't ready to face the town she once called home. Call her a coward if you wanted but that night she needed a drink and a bed, preferably in that order. Of course it would help if she wasn't completely lost. Her plane had landed 20 minutes ago and she was no closer to finding the car rental agency than she was when she started out.

"Ugh!" she groaned out loud. "Dammit, I hate airports!"

It was the last thing she needed at the moment. The first thing would be a very strong alcoholic beverage. But naturally she wasn't going to get it there.

"_I'm sorry but we don't serve alcohol here." _

"What?" Brooke asked, looking at her surroundings, "You do realize this is a bar."

"_Actually we're a sports joint," the waitress said sarcastically, pointing over at the football game currently playing on the television. "You see sports."_

_Brooke smirked. _

"_Silly old me," she said. "Here I thought the combination of 'Sports & Bar' actually meant you served alcohol." _

Whoever banned alcohol at airports obviously had never been in one. The lines were un-freakin-believable, the people treated you like a bastard at a family reunion, and the place was astonishingly filthy. Oh and not to mention, every corner and hall looked exactly the same. Had whoever designed airports ever heard of primary and secondary colors? The whole scheme was depressing, not to mention boring. God, she was never going to get out of there. Resting her now pounding head in her hands, Brooke tried to remind herself she was supposed to be on vacation.

"Some vacation this is Brooke," she muttered to herself. "You can't even find your way out of the airport."

"Still talking to yourself I see."

Her body tensed. She knew that voice, it was a hard one to forget. Not wanting to, yet knowing she didn't have choice, Brooke turned around.

"Hi," she managed to squeak out. "Its…good to see you."

Her voice was a little more shaking than she would have liked. But she reminded herself why she had come. To see old high school friends, face the past, move on, and then go back home. Yet here she was face to face with her past and all she wanted to do was run. Back to her apartment, back to California, back to the life she had built for herself, the one that didn't involve the residents of Tree Hill.

"You know, Brooke, you never were a good liar."

He was right. She never was. The very last thing she expected was running into Nathan Scott at the airport. Although she figured it could have been worst. She could have run into Lucas.

He sure had changed since she had last seen him. He was softer now, older, and yet still Nathan. And she supposed she had changed a lot too. Her hair was the same length but it was a shade or two darker and while she would never openly admit it, she had gained a few pounds. Where she had been toned and athletic seven years early, she was now every inch a women. Her curves were more defined and her breasts more ample. And while she was still a little pale, she hoped he'd reduce it to just nerves or a rough flight.

Engulfing his old high school friend in his arms, Lucas' face flashed in his mind. How would he react to Brooke being back after all these years? How would any of them?

"God Brooke, it's been way too long," he said. "When did you get back?"

She looked around at her surroundings.

"Just now," she stated.

"Well it's good to see you. I wasn't sure you were ever gonna come back."

"Yes well," she nervously pulled her hair behind her ears. "I wasn't either. But I figured I'd been gone long enough. I guess I just figured it was time."

"Well everyone is going to be excited to see you," he reached into his pocket to grab his cell phone but Brooke stopped him.

"I just got here," she said. "I don't want everyone to know just yet."

"Are you sure that's…"

"Nathan," she interrupted a little impatiently. "I plan on driving to Tree Hill in the morning. They can find out then."

All she wanted for the night was to get used to the idea of being back in North Carolina before Nathan went and told everyone.

"I don't know Brooke. Haley will be mad."

Nathan never really had been comfortable keeping secrets from his wife.

"Nathan Scott afraid of his wife?" she teased. "Who would have thought?"

It was meant to lighten the mood for both him and her but instead she hit a nerve and his body tensed in annoyance.

"Yeah, well if you had been around in the past seven years you would know that me and my wife don't keep secrets. Big or _small_."

She winced.

"Put me in my place huh, Nathan?" she grabbed hold of her bag and was tempted to walk away but decided against it. "Well it was nice seeing you again. I would appreciate it if you would keep quiet about me being back in town. At least until I've had a chance to adjust to it myself."

Brooke pushed past him and walked with away with as much composure as she could manage.

"Damn," Nathan muttered to himself, running his hand through his hair as he ran to catch up with her. "Brooke!" he called out.

She heard him. But that didn't mean she had to stop.

"Would you just stop?" he pleaded, slightly out of breath. "I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have said that."

"Why?" she replied, facing him. "It's not like it isn't true. I did leave and honestly Nathan if I had to do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing."

"Brooke…"

"No," she interrupted. "You had your say now let me have mine. Do really think I left because I wanted to? I didn't have a choice. You brother made sure of that."

"Brooke…" he tried again.

"Tree Hill was my home and the last place I wanted to be was California but what I wanted didn't matter. If it had my ex-girly best friend wouldn't have gotten knocked up with my soon to be boyfriend's child. So yes I went to LA but don't you dare think it was because I had a choice. I didn't. And if you would get your head out of your ass long enough, you would realize that," she yelled.

Nathan held up his arms in surrender.

"Sorry."

"Well you should be!" she barked. "How dare you judge me?"

"Are you finished?" he asked.

He had forgotten how quickly Brooke could get riled up.

She rolled her eyes and huffed.

"Not even close."

"Look, I said I was sorry, Brooke."

"Sorry? God what is it with you Scott men?" she continued. "Do you think just because you say you're sorry it makes everything okay? Grow up Nathan. Life doesn't work like that."

"You're right. I shouldn't have judged you," he said. "You just caught me off guard. Again I'm sorry."

There was that word again. Sorry wasn't in Brooke's vocabulary because frankly the word didn't mean shit.

"I me…mean it won't happen again," he stuttered.

She was angry and anyone could see that. His feelings attempted to be hurt after the five minute, very public tongue-lashing he had received in the middle of the airport but Nathan knew better. She was just venting after seven years of frustration. Besides, he had a feeling he hadn't been the intended recipient of her wrath.

"That's what I thought you meant," she said. "Now if you'll excuse me I have to go get a cab."

What was it with her and walking away? Did she always have to be the first to leave?

"My car is this way," he said pointing to an exit door.

Brooke raised her eyebrows.

"So?"

"So, I'll take you wherever you want to go."

"Weren't you going somewhere?" she asked, looking down at his suitcase.

Nathan quickly looked at his watch.

"Shit, my flight leaves in 20 minutes," he said frantically, grabbing the keys to his car and tossing them Brooke's way. "It's the silver minivan on level 3."

"Minivan?" she teased, catching the keys in her palm.

Never in a million years.

"Take it," Nathan rolled his eyes. "I'll be back tomorrow night. I'll just rent a car."

"Nathan I'm not…" a little unsure on whether or not taking his car was such a good idea.

Too many questions would be asked, she was sure.

"No, no it's okay. I don't mind. My company takes care of stuff like that" he assured her. "Look I have to go. Just…just don't run off again before I get back, okay?"

"Okay," she smiled still not completely convinced it was a good idea. "Um, thanks for the car."

He smiled in return. Brooke Davis was back.

Tree Hill was in for a very big surprise. Very big indeed.

----------------------

_tbc..._


	34. Win Some, Lose Some

_I love each and every review I get and I couldn't be happier with the response I'm getting so thank you for that. Still have a lot more to cover in this story but I would say we're about half way done._ _Review!!!!_

**Chapter 34**

**You Win Some, You Lose Some**

Dropping her suitcases on the bed, Brooke looked around at the old, yellowing wallpaper and cringed. The place definitely wasn't the Hilton but it would have to do. Everything else in Charlotte was booked. She was tempted to get back in Nathan's car and head straight for Tree Hill but the hotel wasn't expecting her until the following day and she desperately wanted a bath and some food wouldn't have hurt either. Eyeing the bathroom to the left, Brooke ignored the pain in her stomach telling her she hadn't eaten since the night before. Food would have to wait for the time being.

Unzipping the smallest of the suitcases she grabbed her robe and her favorite bubble bath as well as a clean pair of panties. Switching on the lights she was surprised to see that the bathroom actually wasn't all that bad. The tub was a good size and looked inviting and the room itself had a roasted sugar smell it to. She expected it was due to the air fresher currently plugged into the wall.

Laying her essentials on the counter, Brooke unbuttoned her jeans. Slipping them off her hips without much resistant, she grimly watched them make a puddle on the floor. Those were once hip huggers she couldn't help but think. Throwing her shirt over her head, Brooke reached around her back to unhook her bra. She couldn't help but notice how transparent and pale her skin looked or how easily her short arms fit around her back. The glow to her skin had long ago died out and with it a little piece of herself. Catching her reflection in the mirror her eyes welled up with tears. She had lost so much weight, her curves were still there but they didn't fill out as much and she was disgusted at how far her bones stuck out. She had been so stressed out lately that most days she forgot to eat and when by chance she remembered, the food always ended up tasting so plain. Apparently it had taken its toll on her body.

Tearing her eyes away from the mirror she slipped her fingers beneath the elastic of her panties and slipped them off as well. Securing her hair on top on her head with a ponytail, she reached for the shell shaped knobs and turned the water on, making sure to twist the hot water to its fullest. Brooke eased her fragile and bruised body into the vanilla scented water and once the warmth hit her sore muscles, she couldn't help but moan out loud. It was exactly want she needed after the day she'd had. Running into Nathan was unexpected but wasn't quite as bad as she had imagined. She could only hope seeing everyone else would go half as good, although she doubted it would. Brooke Davis had a feeling the worst was yet to come.

--------------------------------------------

Nathan wasn't quite sure what to think of Brooke's sudden visit home and asking her had been the last thing on his mind. He wasn't mad. He had let go of his anger towards her a long time ago and honestly he hadn't thought of her in just as long. It wasn't that he hadn't missed the bouncy brunette, he had, but up until an hour before, he had never realized how much. They were once good friends or so he thought and it hurt when she left. But he did his best to understand it. He should have been more upset with her unexpected return but he wasn't. In truth he was glad she was back.

But for the time being, he was more concerned with how his wife would react when she learned Brooke was back in town or the fact he had kept it from her. Yes, he would keep Brooke's secret for a while but not for long. Communication had always been the key to the Scott marriage and not telling Haley felt like he was lying to her even if technically he wasn't. But of course his better half wouldn't see it that way and when she found out there would be hell to pay.

Then there was also his brother to consider. Should he tell him? Or would he let Lucas find out when he eventually stumbled upon her? Tree Hill had grown but it wasn't that big, they were bound to run into one another sooner or later. He was tempted to give Lucas a heads up but knowing his brother, he would be on the look out and Nathan figured the whole point in him not telling Haley was so Lucas wouldn't know. At least not yet. Still, Lucas would be the most affected by Brooke's surprising return and if it had been Haley's homecoming, Nathan would want to be the first to know. He imagined he owed Lucas that much.

While the brothers weren't as close as they once had been in high school, they were still family and family always looked out for one another. Not to mention Haley forever linked them together. She and Lucas were still best friends and spoke whenever possible but with the way things were at work Nathan just hadn't had time. But he hoped with his recent move they could become close once again. He would never admit it to anyone, probably not even his wife but he missed his older brother. For those reasons, he wasn't sure not telling him was the right thing to do. But he had given Brooke his word and he planned on keeping it for as long as possible.

"Sir? Excuse me, sir, the Capitan has put on the seatbelt light," the flight attendant said pointing to his middle.

Nathan noticed the lady hoveringly above him.

"What?" he asked.

"We're about to land, put your seatbelt on please," she said nicely, pointing to it.

Nathan nodded.

"Oh…oh yeah, of course," he stammered. "Sorry. My mind was somewhere else."

"It's alright," she smiled sweetly.

Making sure her passenger was secure in his seat, she thanked him for his cooperation and told him to enjoy the rest of the flight.

-------------------------

After a restless night, Brooke woke up early to get a head start on the drive ahead of her. She knew from experience the drive itself was about six hours but she was hoping to make it in under five. She wanted to stop by Karen's Café before the lunch rush hit. For some reason she needed Karen to be the first person she saw in Tree Hill. The woman was quite possibly the only mother figure she had ever had and she would always hold a special place in her heart.

She supposed she owed Karen an explanation about her out of the blue visit, as well as exactly what she had been doing with her life. The older woman knew bits and pieces, the things that she had managed to squeeze out of Brooke over the years but really she knew nothing. Nothing of importance anyway and Brooke could only hope she had answers for the countless questions that were sure to come her way. But the real reason for wanting to see Karen first was a selfish one. One that she wasn't even sure the older woman would agree too but as the old saying went, there was no harm in asking.

--------------------------------------

Pulling up along side the curb, Brooke took in her surroundings. Tree Hill had bloomed in the years she been gone. Instead of there only being a few shops along Main Street there were now clusters of them. And the number of people now strolling along, enjoying their Saturday morning had amplified as well. The town had also added a new _**Welcome to Tree Hill**_ sign that now stood in front of the Court House just up the street from the café, which had also gone through some changes. The wall to left the entrance, which had once led to an alley, had been torn down, enlarged, and now sported a stage. Judging by the flyer on the window, Karen's Café now offered an open mic night to its customers.

Catching her reflection in the window, she realized her pantsuit was the same from the day before and while it looked perfect on her at the time, it suddenly seemed too big and not at all the impression she wanted to make. She scorned herself for not remembering to change clothes. She was tempted to change at once but where and into what? Her bags were in the van and there was no way she could lug her suitcase into the café and go unnoticed. For the present time her outfit would have to do. She brushed the hair out of her face and put on her famous Brooke Davis smile and walked through the door.

It was busier then she had hoped but a quick glance around the café, told her no one was there she knew. Releasing a breath she hadn't known she had been holding, Brooke took a seat at the counter. Karen didn't seem to be in but knowing the hard working businesswoman, it wouldn't be long before she was.

"Hi, can I take your order?" asked the pretty waitress.

She didn't recognize the redhead but she guessed they were around the same age.

"Actually, I was looking for Karen. Is she here?"

"No, but God I wish she was. It's almost lunch time and I'm short handed," she explained.

Brooke nodded. She may not have been very good but at one point in time she had worked there and it hadn't been easy.

"Is anyone else here?"

"Just the cook."

"Julio still works here?" she asked.

He must have been in his sixties. They had a system, the two of them, back when Brooke had waitressed there. He would cook the food and more times than not, she would drop it. She chuckled at a memory in particular. As a dare they had decided to switch jobs for the day. He wasn't that bad of a waiter and he looked kind of cute, for an old guy in his too tight of an apron. And the customers definitely liked him better. But she on the other hand set fire to the kitchen twice and managed to singe some guy's salad. She hadn't meant to set the plate of lettuce so close to the burner and she definitely hadn't meant to forget it was there.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"I grew up here," Brooke explained.

"Really? Are you and Karen related?" she asked.

"By blood, no but I used to live with her," she said. "And I love her like a mother."

"She's very much a motherly type, I guess that's what I like most about her. That and she gave me a job when no one else would. I'm not a popular person around these parts," she explained.

"I know the feeling," Brooke mumbled.

"I figured you might. You look like you just stepped of the runway, definitely not Tree Hill material," she said giving her a look over.

"Everyone has a past, I guess this place is mine."

Rachel nodded.

"So what brings you back to town?" she asked curious.

"Lots of things actually. Believe it or not, I've missed this place. It holds some good memories."

"Tree Hill?" she mocked. "I thought all it held was buried secrets and married couples."

Brooke chuckled.

"Oh it holds all that as well but," she shrugged. "I don't know I guess I just needed a vacation."

"And you picked Tree Hill of all places?"

"Actually I think it kind of picked me," she smiled. "So how's business? I remember when I used to work here there was never a dull moment."

"You used to work here?" she asked, getting an idea. "Oh my gosh, then you wouldn't mind helping me, would you? I mean, I normally wouldn't ask but it's almost noon and there is no way I can do it on my own. And since you've worked here before…"

"But…but what about Karen?" she stuttered.

"Karen took a day off. Some relative is moving back or something," she replied. "Please say you'll help, please?"

"I don't know if that's…"

"Oh come on. You said yourself you used to work here and it really hasn't changed all that much. Please say you'll do it."

"But…but I don't know any of the specials," Brooke pointed out.

Rachel grinned.

"Mushroom soup and meatloaf. Nothing to it," she leaned over the counter and grabbed an apron and handed it to Brooke.

"Um…I don't remember how to work anything," she tried once more.

"I'm sure you'll be fine. Waitressing is not something you forget."

In her case, Brooke hoped it was.

"Look, I'm not sure this is a good idea. Karen probably wouldn't like it."

"You said yourself she was like a mother to you," she said. "I'm sure she would appreciate the help."

"Oh alright!" Brooke gave in. "But I'm changing first. My bags are in the van. Let me go get them."

"Sure, fine, no problem. By the way my name's Rachel."

"Well nice to meet you, Rachel. I'm Brooke."

---------------------------------

She had no idea what possessed her to stay and help other than all the things Karen had done for her, although she wasn't sure Karen would consider the gesture a returned favor. Her skills definitely hadn't improved as a waitress and after about the seventh plate she dropped, food and all, Rachel had politely asked her to just mind the cash register. And even that posed a problem…she couldn't even get the damned thing to open.

Oh well. You win some, you lose some.

"So that was definitely an experience I never want to go through again. Are you sure you've waitressed before?" Rachel asked with a glint in her eyes. "Because it sure didn't look like you have."

"Ha, ha, ha," she handed the change to the couple in front of her before facing the amused redhead. "I told you I was a little rusty and anyway you should be thankful I stayed and helped."

Rachel laughed.

"You call that helping?"

What was the girl's problem? She had stayed hadn't she?

"God you are so unbelievable. I did you a favor," she spat out. "So I'll never win waitress of the year but at least I was willing to stay."

"I almost wish you hadn't," she murmured just loud of enough for her to hear. "And who the hell wears pumps to wait tables?"

Brooke looked down at her feet, which were killing her.

"It was either this or tennis shoes," she said.

Rachel just looked at her.

"They didn't go with my outfit," Brooke defended.

Why had that sounded so much better in her head?

"You know a thank you would be nice," she continued.

"Well, in that case thank you very much…" Rachel said sweetly.

Brooke smiled in satisfaction.

"…For making my day that much harder," she finished.

Brooke glared.

"What?" Rachel asked innocently. "I said thank you."

"You are something else!" she replied. "Besides I'm just out of practice. Give me a few hours and I'll be back to normal, probably even better than you."

"You think so, huh?"

Brooke nodded.

"Well, in that case all of sudden I feel very faint I think I might need to lie down," she said. "You can cover the café can't you Brookie?"

"Wh…wh…what?"

Untying her apron and lying across the counter, Rachel fished her keys out of her back pocket.

"I really appreciate this. You're a real jewel, you know that?"

"Wait!" she called out. "You can't just leave."

"But you don't need me, remember?" she reminded, making her way closer to the door.

"B…but what if something happens?" Brooke gulped, following right behind her.

"You'll figure it out, I'm sure. After all, you are the better waitress," she teased.

Looking Brooke over once more and deciding at the very worst she'd just piss off a few customers, Rachel made her way out onto the busy sidewalk.

"Rachel! Okay, okay fine you're the better waitress," Brooke yelled out the door. "I'm sorry! Please come back! You know I was just kidding around!"

All she could hear was the other girl's mocking laughter.

"Damn her."

How in the world did she always get herself into those situations?

"Because you have a big mouth," she mumbled out loud. "And you always have to have the last word."

She couldn't run the café. She could barely open the cash register.

"Excuse me?" a man in the back called out. "I need more coffee."

Brooke looked the man's way and huffed.

"More coffee, please?" he asked, holding up his empty cup.

"I hope you know how much I love you, Karen," Brooke muttered under her breath. "And how much I hate you Rachel."

Settling her hair in a messy bun on top her head, Brooke vowed to get the evil, redhead back.

--------------------

tbc…


	35. The Mere Touch

**A/N:** Its been a long time, 6 months to be exact! I'm sure some of you have completely forgotten about my story but I hope you'll still read it. I'm really sorry for the delay but if any of you watched the horror that was S4 you know why I couldn't update or even think about BL. And through S5 isn't looking any better I decided it was time that I get my ass in gear!

This chapter goes out to Rosie (Rosebud55) even if she doesn't know it she's the reason I started writing again. And big thanks to Mal for being the best beta EVER! LOL

I love you both!

**Chapter 35**

**The Mere Touch**

How exactly she had managed to run the café without burning it down or causing too much damage, Brooke wasn't sure. But the dinner rush was over and in 20 minutes her day as a waitress would be too. Looking around at the still intact diner she couldn't help but think that Karen would be proud of her. Rachel, on the other hand, was dead. There were two things the lively redhead didn't know about her. One…she always repaid her debts and two…she forgot nothing.

Rushing the last customer out the twin doors, Brooke turned the open sign over and breathed a sigh of relief. Her hellish day was over and finally she could take off her damn shoes. Peeling them off her swollen and bruised feet, Brooke cursed the person who claimed the shoes were comfortable. "You try being a waitress in them," she muttered.

Wiggling her toes, Brooke fought against the urge to throw the pumps in the trash. She was tempted but they had cost her quite a bit of money and while she could well afford them and many more, they were really cute heels.

Dropping them on the floor, she limped her way to the counter. So far she had accomplished none of what she had set out to do for the day. She hadn't gotten to speak to Karen like she wanted nor was she any closer to telling Haley she was back in town.

Pulling herself up into one of the armchairs she laid her head in hands and slowly rubbed her temples, in an effort to ease the mounting pressure. Never again would she think running a restaurant was easy, if anything it was harder than running a fashion label. At least in fashion Brooke didn't feel completely out of her element.

Looking up from her position on the counter, Brooke remembered her day wasn't officially over until the café was cleaned. Groaning out loud, she picked herself up and dragged her aching body into the storage room to grab the mop and the rest of the cleaning supplies.

It was going to be a long night she thought.

--------------------

It was a little after nine and he had just dropped his Mom off at his old house. Lucas should have known that she would never miss a chance to have dinner with her babies. The newly married grandmother dotted on her granddaughter. Karen argued that she was only making up for his daughter not having any other grandparents. But Lucas had a suspicion the real reason was she couldn't say no to the little girl anymore than he could.

They were originally going to dine at the café but Brooklyn not only insisted they go to La More, a romantic Italian restaurant but that her mother came along as well. Lucas suspected that his little girl was playing matchmaker. He'd have to talk to her about it later. Right now though all he wanted was a big, hot cup of coco and the best place to get that in Tree Hill, was he's Mom's Café.

Lucas had missed the little hole in the wall and the serenity it brought to his life. A lot of his growing up had taken place in that family owned restaurant and just being in its presence took him to a place and time when everything seemed right and good in the world. Turning his car around and heading towards the café, he figured it was a good time as any to become reacquired with the once popular hangout. Maybe while there he could do some serious thinking.

Lucas wasn't exactly honest with everyone about his reasons for quitting the team. While Brooklyn had been a main factor, she wasn't the only one. During the last few months he had done a lot of soul searching and realized that he had two loves in his life: basketball and writing. He had been at the top for one but never dared try for the other. Maybe it was time he did.

He wondered what everyone would think about him writing a book. Ultimately there was no doubt his family would support him. But what would they think when they found out the subject of his first novel? _An Unkindness of Ravens _was to be the name, a story about him written by him. It would center around his high school years, the friends he made and the mistakes he wish he could undo.

Pulling up along side the café, Lucas parked behind the minivan wondering just who it belonged to. Catching a flash of brunette hair through the window, he figured the new waitress was still cleaning. He remembered his mother mentioning her name was Rachel and that she was a lovely girl but a little troubled. It must have been a busy night he thought. The café had been closed for over an hour and judging by the volume of the music she was very much still in the cleaning zone.

He suddenly remembered another brunette who couldn't clean without music. Whenever Brooke got the urge to clean, which wasn't very often, the latest Kelly Clarkson CD would be blasting from the stereo.

Shaking the memory away Lucas knocked loudly on the glass doors.

-----------

She had forgotten how good if felt to let go, to feel all of your inhibitions fall to the floor. Just being there, in this town, in this cafe made Brooke feel more alive than she had in years. It was quite an enriching moment.

_Knock, knock. _

She jumped a little at the forceful and loud knocking. Holding her hand to her chest she reminded herself that Tree Hill was the safest place in the world. Nothing remotely dangerous ever happened there. But she couldn't explain why her hair stood up on her arms, as if she wasn't going to like whoever was at the door.

Having no idea who it could possibly be Brooke turned around and mentally prepared herself. She half expected it to be Rachel or even Karen but never in million years did she anticipate for Lucas Scott to be looking back at her.

Instinctively Brooke backed away from the door and unwillingly let go of the mop in her hand. It hit the wood floor with a big bang. She looked down at the wet mop and prayed that her eyes were playing tricks on her. Lucas couldn't possibly be there. It was too soon. Their first meeting was supposed to be planned not accidental and most definitely on her terms. This was neither.

Looking from side to side Brooke tried to think of someway to flee the uncomfortable reunion. She could go out the back door but that would only delay their meeting by a matter of seconds. For she was sure he would catch her before she made it to Nathan's car. She was trapped.

Swallowing, Brooke ran her hands through her hair, a nervous habit she could never quite master.

Knowing she had no choice she unlocked the doors and waved him in. "What are you doing here," she asked softly.

"I could ask you the same thing," he replied over the loud music, motioning to the radio sitting on the window seal.

Lucas reached to turn it down right at the same moment Brooke did. Their hands accidentally brushed against each other. Lucas gasped. Brooke grasped. He still felt the same.

Soft yet hard.

Familiar yet unfamiliar.

"Sorry," he murmured just as affected by their mere touch as she was.

"Uh, yes, well I…" she started playing with her hands.

She looked adorable when she was nervous.

"God, I've missed you," Lucas blurted out, wanting nothing more than to reach his arms out to her but he wasn't sure it would be welcomed or that it was appropriate given their history. "I…I never thought I'd see you again."

He was literally stunned. After years of waiting, hoping, imagining…Brooke Davis now stood before his very eyes.

"I guess I needed a vacation," she smiled almost automatically.

He nodded, carefully trying to choose his words. His feelings were a whirlwind. Butterflies churned inside his stomach. His knees felt weak and a hint of dizziness flowed through his head.

"And you choose Tree Hill?" he asked looking around. "Don't get me wrong…I'm glad you're here but Tree Hill is exactly a popular vacation spot."

She shrugged without comment as he swallowed hard and continued.

"I just got back from dinner with Mom and she didn't mention that you were working here."

"That's because she doesn't know," Brooke took a seat at the counter. "I just got in last night and well I came to see Karen this morning but she wasn't here and somehow I got talked into waitressing and…" She was babbling and she knew it but Lucas usually had that effect on her.

"I see," he said, not caring about the details. "The café closed over an hour ago. You're still cleaning. Want some help?"

She looked down at the mop and then back at him.

"Um, yeah. Sure," she replied, feeling anything but sure.

"What do you have left to do?" he asked.

"Not much. Um, come to think of it, I'm okay here. I mean it's not a lot. Really. I can just finish up on my own." The unexpectedness of the impromptu meeting was just too much. It would be so much easier if he just left.

"No, no, that's okay I don't mind helping, Brooke."

"Um, okay," she said. "You finish mopping and I'll do the chairs."

"Anything for you," he said.

He remembered saying those exact words to her in a very similar situation and by the look on her face so did she.

"Don't do that," she commanded.

There was something about that look in her eyes and the sound of her voice.

"Okay," he agreed.

-----------------------------------

The chairs were up and the floor was mopped but he wasn't ready to say goodbye just yet. Taking a fleeting minute, Lucas stared at Brooke. She was beautiful. The years had been good to her. She was thinner now and the brightness gone from her face but he could still make her out. She tried hard to hide it but he could still see her.

"You've been mopping the same spot for the last ten minutes."

Lucas glanced down.

"Huh? I mean, I know. There's a spot that I can't seem to get up," he defended, giving it one last stroke before putting the mop back into the soapy water. "Got it finally. See? All done."

He flashed a nervous smile that she did not return.

Placing the spare key that Rachel had managed to throw at her on her way out on the counter, Brooke turned to leave.

"Wait!" he grabbed for her arm.

She knew it was coming.

"Don't, Lucas."

"It's still early. We haven't talked in a while. Let's catch up."

"Look Lucas, it's been a really long day, okay? My feet are killing me and I don't have anywhere to stay…"

"You can stay with me," he interrupted.

"So not gonna happen," she said without missing a beat.

Spending the night at Lucas' and possibly Peyton's place was the last place she'd ever stay.

"But the only hotel is about 15 minutes away and it's getting late," he said, looking down at his watch.

"Which is why I need to leave."

She reached for the door but Lucas blocked her.

"Lucas," she howled. "God! What are you doing?"

"Stay with my Mom then. It's closer. I'll even drive you," he offered.

"I'd rather stay at a hotel."

Running into Lucas was enough for one day. It was all too much. She needed time to think, to figure out what to do next.

"Why?" he asked. "My mom would be grateful for the company."

"Then why don't you stay with her?" she shot back, annoyed as she reached for the door once more.

He blocked her way again.

"Um, you see, I can't. I don't live there anymore," he offered as if that explained it all.

"Lucas, I'm not gonna tell you again. Just get out of my way."

"Brooke…"

"I mean it," she stated more firmly.

He reluctantly moved away from the door but followed her out anyway.

"Where will you stay?" he asked.

"I already told you, the only hotel Tree Hill has."

"Brooke, come on. I'm trying to be nice here," he quickened his pace to catch up with her.

"Why?" she asked. "We aren't friends."

She reached into her purse, searching for the keys to Nathan's car.

"At one time we were."

She turned around to face him forgetting the keys.

"Lets get one thing straight, alright? We were never friends, we aren't friends now, and we will never be friends. Got it?"

Pain flashed in his blue eyes and for a split second Brooke felt bad but as quickly as the notion appeared, it then disappeared.

"Then why are you here?" he asked, a little hurt.

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"You would think just because I'm back means I'm here for you."

"Well, you are at my Mom's café," he continued.

"Ughhhhh!" she breathed, feeling sheer exasperation. "I already told you why I was here, you jackass!"

It was like he was deliberately trying to piss her off.

"Hey, no need for the name calling," he said relishing in her anger and getting riled up as well. "We aren't in high school anymore."

Her anger meant one thing…she still cared.

"Thank God for that one," she muttered. "High school was terrible. In fact everything after meeting you sophomore year was a nightmare," she finished.

"Well glad to see you still remember," he egged her on. "We were all getting a little worried here. What has it been? Five years? Six years since anyone has even heard from you." Actually, it was 7 years, 5 months, and 11 days to be exact. Like he could ever forget.

Brooke literally saw red and it took everything in her not to physically lash out at the man standing in front of her.

"So now's it my fault I left, huh?" she asked stunned at what she was hearing.

"No," he replied honestly.

Brooke smirked in victory.

"But it is your fault for not calling or staying in touch with your family," he finished.

She saw red again.

"Family, huh?" she asked.

He nodded.

"I didn't know family meant sleeping with my best friend," she accused.

She angrily pushed Lucas out of the way. The hell with the keys she thought. She'd rather walk.

"You're good at that!" he yelled after her.

She stopped and turned to face him once more.

"Yeah? Well you're good at giving me reasons to leave."

Lucas sighed. When he thought of how it would be when they finally saw each other again, the dream hadn't quite gone like that. Of course the raw emotions fueled them but it was too much. It was starting to get out of hand. A full on argument hadn't been his intention. He hadn't meant to upset her or get upset himself for that matter. Closing the distance between them, Lucas softly apologized.

"I'm sorry."

She just looked at him.

"I was out of line," he kept going. "I'm sorry, Brooke. I am so sorry. I'm sorry for all of it. Tonight, seven years ago, Peyton…"

"Stop it right there, Lucas," she interrupted. "Don't. Don't you even take it there. Please don't talk about her."

"Okay. You're right. It's too soon, I guess," he agreed. "Come on. I'll help you find your keys."

He led her back to the car and fished her keys out of his back pocket. Her eyes widened with shock, confusion and a hint of anger. Sheepishly he shrugged.

"What can I say? I didn't want you to leave."

She muttered a curse word under her breath and reached for her keys but Lucas held them above her head.

"I know you're pissed and I know you want to get out of here but I have to ask. When did Brooke Davis start driving a minivan anyways?" he asked teasing. "Aren't they for soccer moms and stuff?"

She winced. It was meant to be an innocent joke but it just struck another nerve. Just one more reminder of something she would never be.

"Who said I wasn't a mom?"

"Are you?" he asked.

She held out her hand.

"Give me the keys now, Lucas."

He placed them in her hand, selfishly and silently hoping that she wasn't.

"Thank you," she mumbled, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

She climbed into the van and took one last look at him.

"Goodnight."

"Night."

He closed the door.

"Sweet dreams, Pretty Girl," he said as he watched her drive off into the night.

Brooke caught his eyes in the rearview mirror. Her heart was still racing uncontrollably. She couldn't believe what had just happened. She couldn't believe she had just seen him, she couldn't believe the conversation that had just taken place and more importantly she couldn't believe how she felt after all those years. Thee words had a mind of her own as they escaped her lips.

"Sweet dreams, Broody."

------------------------

tbc…


	36. Dumb Hat

**Photobooth Romance **yes it takes me 4 days to write a chapter. I work full time, go to school full time, and I have a family and out of about 4 days I have about half an hour to update (usually right before I go to bed).

And to those that have issues about how long its takes for me to update you're right in a sense. I do take awhile to update and I'll try to update faster but this a hobby, something I do for fun, and I don't like it but sometimes I just don't have the time. Honestly I hadn't planned on not updating for 6 months, it just kind of happened but in the event I do I will let everyone know.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

**Chapter 36**

**Dumb Hat**

Brooke wasn't quite sure what to think of her very personal and odd reunion with Lucas. She had let her anger get the best of her and ended up saying things she shouldn't have. But he knew what buttons to push and he had pushed hers to the limit. She still got fired up just thinking about what he said, as he if had the right to accuse her of anything.

Feeling the heat crawl up her neck she reminded herself that it could have gone a lot worst. Imagine if had been him and the happy family knocking at the door. She cringed at the very thought. Even though she hadn't seen Lucas in seven years and Peyton just as long, they somehow still had the power to hurt her. Why that was she didn't yet have an answer.

Seeing her cellphone flash on and off reminded her that she had been in Tree Hill all day and had yet to call Heather. Picking it up in a mad dash and not giving the girl on the other end a chance to say anything she immediately launched into a spill.

"I am so sorry Heather I completely forgot to call you."

Her friend breathed a sign of relief from the other end of the phone.

"Thank God you're okay," Heather said. "I've been worried sick."

Sinking into the softness of the driver's seat, Brooke apologized once more,

"I'm really sorry."

"Don't worry about it," she assured her friend. "I'm just glad you picked up. I was ready to get on a plane to Tree Hill."

Brooke chuckled. That sound like something Heather would do and she loved her all the more for it.

"I'm not sure Roger would appreciate his newly pregnant wife getting on a plane to come rescue her wacko best friend."

"Wait…how did you possibly know I pregnant?" she asked amazed.

Heather hadn't wanted Brooke to know given the girl's circumstances but Brooke just smiled.

"Heather feather I know you better than anyone," she teased. "Did you really think you could keep something that big from me? Besides I found all the _New Mommy_ pamphlets in your purse."

"And what were you doing going through my purse. Oh never mind, just remind me to slap you for that later," she laughed. "So how did the first day go?"

Brooke shrugged.

"Okay, I guess…"

Heather waited for her to continue.

"And?" she finally asked when she didn't.

"Well…I saw Lucas," she confessed casually.

"Lucas? Already? Oh my gosh! Brooke! What happened? What did he say?"

Brooke knew she was gonna have to be a bit more forthcoming if she ever wanted to get Heather off the phone but she still wasn't quite ready.

"Nothing really"

"What do you mean nothing? It doesn't sounds like nothing," Heather commented.

Seeing the sign for the Holiday Inn, Brooke pulled in and parked in the only available spot.

"Hey, let me call you back. I just pulled into the hotel."

"Oh no you don't. Missy, don't think for one minute you're getting off that easy."

"But…"

"Nope," she interrupted. "You can stay and talk to me for a few more minutes."

"Buts it's almost 11 o' clock," she defended.

"So just tell me already."

"Heather…"

"I'm waiting"

"Oh for goodness sake! It was the craziest, weirdest, most horrible, most emotional, most terrifying experience of my life, okay?she unwillingly admitted. "Is that what you wanted to hear?"

"Depends. Is it the truth?" Heather asked.

Brooke sighed

"Yes."

She almost wished it wasn't though.

"Then yes that is exactly what I want to hear," she declared. "Feel better?"

Brooke wasn't quite ready to admit that she did in fact feel better.

"Maybe," she lied.

"You do know that just because I can't see your face right now doesn't mean I don't know when you're lying."

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Yes, I feel better," she confessed. "Can I go now?"

"Of course you can," Heather said cheery. "Love ya."

"Yeah, yeah love you too."

She clicked the phone shut and reached for her purse. With any luck after a quick shower and a cup of herbal tea, she'd be in bed within the hour.

--------------------------------

Lucas parked his SUV in the driveway and made a mad dash for the front door. But before he could make it to the last step, Peyton opened it with a furious glint in her eyes.

"Where the hell have you been?" she spat at him, arms folded. "I just now got Brooklyn to sleep after swearing to her that her Daddy would be coming home."

Lucas' heart sank. He never meant to make his little girl worry.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," he apologized, closing his eyes. "I didn't realize how late it was."

"Sorry isn't good enough Lucas, not this time," Peyton signed in relief that she hadn't lied to her daughter. "You can't do that to her. She doesn't understand. Brooklyn has no comprehension of the fact that things come up, that people lose track of the time. All she knows is her daddy was supposed to tuck her in tonight and he didn't."

"I'm really sorry, Peyt. I feel horrible, okay?"

She looked at him with those "don't mess with me eyes" and put her hands on her hips.

"I promise you it won't happen again, Peyton."

Shaking her head, she turned her back to him and called out over her shoulder, "See that it doesn't."

Walking in the chilly house, Lucas turned and closed the door behind him.

"Oh and you might want to be here in the morning when Brooklyn wakes up," Peyton said from down the hall. "You can take her to Haley's. She has a play date with Landon."

"No problem," he poked his head around the corner.

"I'm going to bed. Goodnight Luke."

She closed the door to her bedroom not waiting for his reply. Her wanted to tell her about Brooke being back. It was on the tip of his tongue but she hadn't exactly given him the chance to speak. Climbing the stairs two at a time he stopped by Brooklyn's room. Quietly he pushed the door open and walked in. He wanted to see for himself that she was okay. He smoothed the blanket that she had kicked off her little body before softly kissing her forehead

"Daddy loves you baby," he whispered.

She didn't even stir.

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Lucas woke early the next morning and as agreed took Brooklyn to her play date with Landon. The plan was for Nathan to watch the kids he had been called out on a business meeting the night before and Haley had had a doctor's appointment, which meant Lucas was left watching them. He hadn't minded. It gave him more time to spend with his daughter and his nephew.

It was almost noon when Haley had called apologizing because she was going to be at least another hour at the clinic. Her doctor had been late coming in. But Lucas had a meeting that he couldn't miss. In the end he decided on taking them to his mom's café. Karen would love to watch them and it would also give him the chance to ask about Brooke.

"Daddy, why do we have to go to Grandma's?" Brooklyn asked. "I want to stay with you."

"Yeah, Uncle Luke. I want to stay with you too," Landon agreed.

Lucas smiled.

"Guys, Grandma is gonna be hurt you don't want to see her."

Landon and Brooklyn both looked at each other. They loved their grandmother and certainly didn't want to hurt her.

"Well, I want to see her, I guess," Brooklyn nodded. "But what will do you?"

Lucas looked at her through the rearview mirror.

"Remember me telling you that I was moving here?" he asked.

"Yeah?"

"Well, I can't live with you and your mom forever," he explained. "I'm gonna need a house of my own."

"But Landon's mommy and daddy live with him. How come you can't live with me and mommy?" she asked innocently.

"Baby, Aunt Haley and Uncle Nathan are married."

"Well you and mommy can get married and then we can be a family."

Pulling the car over and unbuckling his seatbelt, Lucas turned around and faced his daughter.

"Honey, we are a family. Just me and Mommy live in separate houses, that's all."

"But I don't want you to live in another house," she said firmly. "I want you to live with me and Mommy."

"Brooklyn, what is this all about?" he asked concerned. "Me and Mommy haven't lived together in a long time."

"But I want you too," she whined obviously upset.

Not wanting to distress the girl anymore than she already was Lucas made a promise.

"I'll think about it, okay?"

"Promise?"

He nodded.

"Lets go say hi to Grandma, okay?" he told both children.

The conversation was soon forgotten but Lucas made a mental note to have a long talk with Peyton about it later. Walking in the café and hearing the familiar ding, dong Lucas waved the kids over to an empty table by the window.

"Take a seat. I'm gonna go find Grandma."

They both nodded and ran to the table, both wanting the same seat. And he could faintly hear them arguing about just who had reached it first. He chuckled. He certainly had missed being around kids, specifically his daughter. Gesturing to who he assumed was the new waitress he helped himself behind the counter and into the kitchen.

"Mom, you back here?" he called out.

But instead of running into his mom liked he had hoped, he literally ran into Haley.

"Hales! I thought you were at the doctor's."

"Well hi to you too, Luke," she said while picking herself up off the floor

"Oh sorry," he reached down to help her up.

"Thanks. And I was at the doctor's but I needed someone to talk to so I came looking for your mom," she explained.

"We could have talked," he mentioned, more than a little hurt.

She covered her eyes to keep the tears at bay.

"I'm sorry. I'm just being stupid."

He tried to hug her but she waved him off.

"No, really I'm okay. It's just pregnancy hormones."

Lucas' face lit up.

"You're pregnant? How far along?"

"Four weeks," she sobbed, that time letting Lucas hug her.

"Haley, why are you crying?" he asked. "You and Nathan have been trying for another baby for years."

"I know…" she sniveled against his chest.

"Okay, then what's the problem?"

Pulling away she wiped her eyes.

"The problem is what if I can't do it again? I mean what if I suck at it?" she confessed.

"Oh Hales, you could never suck at being a mother," he assured her. "Landon adores you and the next one will as well."

She looked up at him with her big tear-filled eyes.

"You really think so?" she asked.

"I know so."

Haley smiled.

"Thanks Luke," she said wiping away any trace of her tears.

"No problem," he replied.

"Where are the kids?" she asked just noticing they weren't with him.

Lucas looked behind him.

"Oh they're in the front."

"I'm gonna go say hi."

"Wait. Hales I need to talk to you," Lucas said seriously.

"Oh sure," she said taking a seat.

"Okay so last night after I dropped off my Mom, I came by the café and Brooke was here."

"Br..Brooke?" she asked stunned. "Do you mean Brooke Davis?"

Lucas nodded.

"She's back?"

"I guess. I mean I'm not really sure," he answered while pacing around the small room.

"Wait so was Brooke here last night?" she asked puzzled. "Lucas, we didn't leave the restaurant until after the café was closed. What was Brooke doing here that late?"

"She was cleaning," he said as if that explained anything.

"I don't understand."

"Brooke was here last night cleaning!"

"Okayyyyy," she said slowly. "I get that but why was she cleaning?"

Taking a seat Lucas threw his head in his hands.

"You're missing the point Haley," he said. "Brooke is back in town for however long and I'm not sure what to do about it."

Why didn't that surprised her? It seemed whenever her normal levelheaded best friend was around the once head cheerleader he lost all ability to have a cogent thought.

"Well, I guess the most important thing is what do you want to do about it?" she asked.

What did he want? He wasn't altogether sure. When she left for the second time, seven years ago he never imagined it would be permanent. He held on to the belief that she would eventually forgive and come back to him. She never did. He had given up thinking she ever would.

"What can I do?" he asked. "I don't even know what she's doing here or how long she's staying. I know nothing."

"Well, Lucas you certainly aren't gonna figure it out here," she said eyeing the small storage space. "Do you know where she's staying?"

He nodded.

"The Holiday Inn."

She looked at him like he had grown a third head.

"What are you still doing here?" she asked baffled as to why he was still standing here.

"It's not that easy," he tried to explain. "I wouldn't know what to say to her."

"Well, what did you say to her last night?"

"Things I shouldn't have."

"Lucas Eugene Scott what did you go and do?"

He winced.

"There's no need for the middle name, Hales."

"I'll be the judge of that," she declared. "Now what did you say to her?"

He didn't exactly feel comfortable telling Haley but her impatience was growing.

"I'm still waiting."

"Something about it being her fault for not staying in touch with her family," he spoke softy. "And that she was good at running away."

"You didn't?" she paused. "Please tell me you didn't"

Lucas looked up at her guilty.

"I didn't mean it, honest," he said. "I just got mad that it took her so long to come back."

"Luke…"

"I know, I know I screwed up," he admitted. "But you know the effect she has on me. I just can't think rational when she's around."

"No, no, obviosuly you can't." she agreed. "But to blame her? That's going a little overboard even for you. I mean you and Peyton didn't exactly leave her much of a choice."

He sighed.

"So what do I do?" he asked.

"Well seeing as you were a dumb hat the last time you spoke to her maybe you should wait until she comes to you."

Maybe giving her a chance to cool off wasn't such a bad idea.

"A dumb hat?"

"Would you prefer asshole?"

Lucas laughed.

"Dumb hat it is."

--------

tbc…


	37. You Mean Nothing

Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews I really enjoyed reading them and whether you know it or not it helps me update faster. I'm very happy with this chapter and hope everyone else is as well!

**Chapter 37**

**You Mean Nothing**

Brooke woke up early the next morning but spent some much needed time alone. After ordering an enormous breakfast, of which she ate very little of due to nerves, she ran herself a bath and soaked until lunch. It was a pleasant morning and a great start to what she hoped would be a good day. Her first stop would once again be Karen's café and she could only hope that any reunion she might have would go better than the one she'd already had with Lucas.

She had prepared herself for the anger but the feelings that came rushing back when they accidentally touched was out of this world and God help her, she hadn't been ready for any of it. Her feelings towards her ex-boyfriend and her ex girlie best friend were all still very confusing and seeing Lucas the night before made it all that more complicated. Seven years was a long time to hold on but letting go was easier said than done or so she was learning. Running her fingers though her hair she gave the rear view mirror a quick glance and told herself not to fret. Karen would be excited to see her.

_-------------------------_

Scanning the restaurant, she saw they weren't very busy. The only customers around were two small children and an elderly couple.

"I'll be right out," a female yelled from the back. "Just take a seat wherever."

_Tutor-girl._

Her voiced had matured over the years but Brooke still recognized it.

"Excuse me, Miss."

She turned around and noticed the little girl from the table.

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"You're pretty."

Brooke chuckled.

"Well thanks," she said. "I'm glad you think so."

"You know this is my grandma's café," the little girl said with pride.

"I figured it might be."

"My grandma makes the best hot cocoa. Did you know that too?" she asked completely infatuated with the woman standing front of her.

"I sure did," Brooke smiled. "I used to get them all the time when I lived here."

"Really?" she asked. "You used to live here?"

Brooke nodded.

"Once a upon a time, yes."

The little girl grinned from ear to ear.

"Want to come sit with me and Landon?"

Brooke nodded.

"Sure. I could use some company."

"Good! You can sit by me," she said excited.

"Okay."

The little girl held out her hand and Brooke hesitated. She hadn't had much experience with kids and she didn't seem to mind or even notice. Taking the girl's hand and giving it a squeeze she let her lead her to the table by the window.

"So what's your name?" she asked the little girl.

"Brooklyn." She took a seat. "What's your name?"

Brooke let out a small grasp.

It wasn't Haley's daughter…it was Lucas and Peyton's child. Taking in the girl's piecing blue eyes and dirty blond hair Brooke cursed herself for not realizing it before. The child sitting just a mere few inches from her was proof that Lucas didn't love her… that he never had.

"Br—Penelope," she lied.

"Pen-el-pee," she sounded out. "Do you have a best friend?"

Swallowing the lump in her throat Brooke looked to the boy in front of her and wondered if he was their child as well.

She smiled weakly.

"I used to."

Now she had much more than a best friend, she had a sister

"You don't anymore?" the boy asked curious.

Brooke shook her head no.

"Not anymore," she said softly, remembering that they both wanted the same boy and in the end it tore them apart. "We had a disagreement a long time ago."

"You mean like a fight?" Brooklyn asked.

Brooke looked to her left.

"Something like that," she replied.

"Brooklyn and I fight all the time but we're still best friends, right?" he asked Brooklyn.

She nodded firmly.

"Right."

Siblings that were best friends unheard of yes but impossible no.

"Are you two brother and sister?" she asked, the curiously getting the best of her.

"Nope, we're cousins," Landon explained.

"Best friend-cousins," Brooklyn confirmed with a smile.

"You can be our best friend too," she offered. "You know since you don't have one."

Brooke smiled despite herself.

"Thanks," she whispered sincerely.

-------------------------

She hadn't seen Brooke in years but the minute she heard the husky, upbeat voice she knew it couldn't have belonged to anyone else. Looking her over, Haley noticed the changes in the woman that had been her good friend at one time. She was lighter now, not by much though, maybe 5 pounds. But her presence was different. This wasn't the Brooke Davis she knew.

Brooklyn noticed her first.

"Aunt Haley come met our friend," she yelled across the café.

Haley walked over and smiled.

"Brooke it's so good to see you," she said. "Lucas mentioned that you were back in town."

Bending down she gave her son a peck on the head and took a set.

"It's lit—" Brooke started but was interrupted by Brooklyn.

"I thought you said your name was Penelope."

"Uhh…" she smiled uncomfortably, not sure what to tell the girl.

Haley saw her struggling and answered for her.

"It's her middle name," she guessed. "I've just always known her as Brooke."

Brooke looked at Haley and mouthed a _'Thank You'_.

"You know my Daddy?" the little girl asked just now catching Haley's comment.

Brooke nodded.

"I did many years ago," she leaned back into the booth. "We…um, we were friends at one time."

"Really?" she asked. "That's so cool! Does that mean you know my mommy too?"

Haley reached over patted Brooklyn's hand.

"Let's talk about something else, sweetie..."

"No, it's okay," Brooke assured her, still a little unsure herself why she was answering the little girl. "I know P. Saw—I mean Peyton. We grew up together."

"Cool!" she jumped in excitement. "Did you and Mommy have sleepovers and stuff?

"Many of them. We would stay up super late watching horror movies, eating cookie dough and ice cream," she laughed at the sudden memory. "It was a good time."

Too bad it hadn't lasted.

"They were best friends," Haley added in, looking at her son who was still very much engrossed in his new comic book. "Just like you and Landon."

Brooklyn thought about what her aunt had said and then looked at Brooke.

"Did you and my mommy have a fight? Is that why you don't have a best friend anymore?"

Brooke hurriedly looked to Haley for help. She couldn't possibly tell the child the truth.

"Um you see…" Haley smiled, now that it was her turn to hesitate. "Brooke, uh I mean Penelope and your mom grew apart when they were teenagers and then Penelope moved away."

Brooklyn pondered for a moment and the children seemed to accept Haley's answer.

Haley signed in relief…she was good at a lot of things but lying wasn't one of them.

"Hey guys I have an idea why don't we leave Brooke to it and we go get some ice cream?" she suggested. "I hear that Sam added a new flavor."

You didn't have to ask Landon twice, not that Haley figured he'd be a problem. It was Lucas' daughter that she had her doubts about. Brooklyn seemed to take a real liking to her namesake and she wasn't one to take no for an answer.

"Aunt Haley, I want Penelope to come too," she insisted, turning towards Brooke she commented, "I like Penelope better."

"Br—Brooke?" a voice called out.

She knew that voice and was almost too scared to look up and confirm who she already knew it was. Thankfully Brooklyn did it for her.

"Mommy!" she stood up in the booth and ran over to her mom. "Guess what?" she asked excitedly.

"What babe?" Peyton asked reluctantly, looking down at her daughter.

"Penelope's here!"

Peyton smiled shyly.

"Pene—Penelope?" she stumbled over the unfamiliar name.

"Did you know her as Brooke too?" her daughter asked oblivious to the tension in the room. "I like Penelope better."

"No. No, I mean yes," she walked towards the table. "Penelope's her middle name. She never used it growing up."

Eyeing Peyton as she came closer, Brooke couldn't help but think if seeing Lucas had been hellish, the reunion about to take place was going to be much worst.

"Hi, Haley." she didn't take her eyes off of Brooke. "When did you get back in town?"

Her voice was whisper like and she was desperate for the woman in front of her to say something, anything. Peyton took a seat and Haley grabbed her son's hand, also reaching for Brooklyn's.

"Come on, guys. Let's give the two of them some time alone," she said.

Brooklyn wanted to stay but her aunt had already pulled her to the counter away from the two women.

"But…"

"Give them some time, honey. Your mom and Brooke haven't seen each other in seven years."

"How have you been?" Peyton asked once the kids were out of earshot. "Are you staying long?"

There were no words for what Brooke was feeling. A part of her wanted to reach across the table and bitch-slap Peyton for ruining her life and the only meaningful relationship she had ever had. But the other part, the part that had missed her best friend wanted nothing more than to act like they were okay and only days had passed since they had last spoken. Not being able to do either, she just sat there staring at her lap unable to make eye contact.

"Brooke?" Peyton asked again, wondering if she was going to speak to her. "I know this probably isn't the place but I wanted to apologize. Look, I never meant…"

"Don't," she whispered her head still down. "Please don't go there."

Peyton nodded.

"Okay. Okay, I won't." she whispered.

"Yesterday," Brooke finally spoke looking up as she laid her hands on the table and unwillingly looked towards the counter. "Brooklyn is beautiful," she commented softly, taking in the girl's features and recalling the child's loving and accepting nature. "A perfect mix of you and Lucas."

Peyton swallowed hard.

"Thanks," she muttered swelling with pride for her daughter yet knowing how painful it must be for her once best friend.

Lucas, never having a good sense of time decided to walk in at that very moment.

"Daddy!" Brooklyn ran from her seat and jumped into her dad's waiting arms.

And it was then that his eyes caught Brooke's.

"Oh gosh," Haley murmured to herself. "This isn't good."

With Brooklyn still in his arms he walked over to the girls.

"Brooke," was all he managed to say.

Brooklyn climbed out of his arms and looked at Brooke and then her mom sensing that something wasn't right. She looked up at her father.

"What's wrong Daddy?" she asked, not understanding why everyone was being so quiet and closed off.

Lucas looked down at his daughter and lightly squeezed her shoulder.

"Go sit with Landon, babe," he said. "I'm gonna talk with Mommy and Brooke."

"But Daddy…" she started.

"Please?" he asked again.

He watched his daughter walk away and wondered want he was going to say now that she was gone. He went to take a seat across from Brooke and next to Peyton but decided against it. The last thing he needed was Brooke thinking he and Peyton were together. Although judging by the square ness of her shoulder and her blazing eyes she already did. Instead he stood.

"The happy family I see," Brooke said with malice.

It pissed her off that after everything that had happened; they had still found happiness in each other.

"No," they both said looking at each other. "We're not together."

"Do you two honestly think I'm gonna believe _anything_ that comes out of either of your mouths?" she laid her hands on the table. "It wouldn't be the first time you have lied to me, now would it?"

"Brooke…" Lucas began.

"Don't Brooke me," she commanded. "I'm not stupid so please don't insult my intelligence."

"I swear to you Brooke, Lucas and me aren't together," Peyton vowed.

She looked to her ex-best friend.

"Okay, fine," she said. "Where do you live Peyton?"

"I live…well, I'm staying at my old house with Brooklyn. My dad left it to me when he died five years ago," she explained.

"And you Lucas?" she asked, purposely ignoring the last part and the pain in her chest at Peyton's confession.

Lucas looked to Peyton, feeling completely trapped.

"Brooke…" he started with hesitation.

"Just answer the question, Lucas," she said, fearing the outcome yet already knowing the answer.

"Look you don't understand…" he started again.

"Just tell me!" she raised her voice.

"I'm staying with…I'm staying with Peyton," he admitted.

Brooke smirked.

"Big surprise."

"No, you don't understand," he repeated taking a seat.

"Enough!" she replied, the gesture not going unnoticed. "I'm so sick of your excuses, Lucas. I would have thought after last night…"

"Last night?" Peyton asked looking to Lucas. "You saw her last night? And you didn't tell me?"

"Omitting the truth from your precious Peyton, Lucas?" Brooke asked, bitter that the duo still had the power to hurt her. "Never thought I'd see the day."

"She's not my precious Peyton, Brooke," he said getting tired of repeating himself.

Why did it always have to come back to Peyton?

"Whatever Lucas," she muttered still not believing a word he had said. "It doesn't matter, I mean why should it? It's not like I care about either of you. Neither of you mean anything to me."

She made sure to look them both in the eyes as she lashed out. Somewhat satisfied that the hurtful words were sinking in, Brooke grabbed her purse and proceeded to the door, done with the conversation. Neither blonde moved.

"Penelope!" Brooklyn yelled, jumping off her chair and running towards the fleeing brunette. "You can't leave."

Brooke stopped at the door willing herself to keep her emotions in check, if only for the little girl behind her.

"Listen…"

"Please don't leave," the girl begged. "I want you to stay."

Fearing what would be said to his daughter Lucas dashed out of the booth.

"Brooklyn?"

She faced her father with tears beaming in her eyes.

"I don't want her to leave Daddy."

"Sweetie…"

She swallowed hard, turned, and stooped down to the girl's level.

"It was very nice meeting you Brooklyn," she tussled the girl's hair. "Maybe one day before I go back to California we can have some ice cream."

"You promise?" she looked at her with her big blue eyes and Brooke found herself agreeing.

"Of course."

"Sweetie why don't you go see Mommy?" Lucas looked down at his daughter. "I think she's getting lonely all by herself."

Brooke winced at the title. It shouldn't have but it hurt.

"You promise about the ice cream?" Brooklyn looked to Brooke once more.

"I promise," she said.

"Okay," she smiled and walked away.

"Thanks for that," his eyes found hers as she looked up at him.

"She's just a little kid, Lucas. I would never say anything to her just to hurt you."

"How would I know that, Brooke?" he asked. "Remember? I don't mean anything to you."

-----------------------

tbc...


	38. Lets Be Friends

**Happy New Year!!!!**

**Chapter 38**

**Lets Be Friends**

"_How would I know that? Remember? I don't mean anything to you…" _

Lucas' words just kept playing over and over inside her head. It was like they were tormenting her, slowly driving her insane. And the worst part was she couldn't figure out why she was letting his words bother her. After all, he couldn't possibly still mean something to her…could he? No, she quickly decided…he didn't matter. She wouldn't let him.

_You know that's not true_, a voice in her head whispered.

"All I want to do is sleep," she whined.

"_Just admit that he still matters,_" the voice taunted. "_Admit it Brooke. You know you want to." _

"I will not!" she responded stubbornly.

"_Come on,_" the voice egged. "_I'll let you sleep once you do_."

"Fine!" she shouted throwing the covers off her heated body, confessing in the dark. "He means something to me. He never _stopped_ meaning something."

That was the problem. It hadn't mattered that she hadn't seen him in years or that they never spoke anymore or that on some levels she still hadn't forgiven him for sleeping with her ex-best friend. She still couldn't stop her heart from caring about the boy she once called Broody. Brooke smiled just thinking about the old nickname.

_Her Broody._

He had meant so much to her and one decision, one mistake, had taken him away from her forever, it seemed like. She wanted to get past it, to move on but how was someone supposed to forgive something like that? And even if she could, Brooklyn would constantly serve as a tangible reminder of his betrayal.

"It's not fair," she sighed. "Why does everything bad have to happen to me?"

She cursed herself, God, and especially Peyton for ever setting her sights on Lucas in the first place. Things would have been so much easier if Peyton had just found her own man instead of chasing hers.

She turned the lamp on and reached for the remote but accidentally knocked the phone off instead.

She groaned, "Goddamn it."

Throwing her legs over the side of the bed and dropping to the floor, Brooke guessed she wasn't going to get any sleep that night.

"This night just keeps getting better and better," she sarcastically muttered.

Setting the phone back in its place, she grabbed the remote and plopped into bed, hoping something was on TV. She decided on a comedy, forgoing the romantic movies that seemed to be playing on every channel. Sometime later Brooke found herself drifting off to sleep with a voice in her head telling her everything would be okay.

She couldn't help but want to believe it.

---------------------------

She was dreaming…

…And someone was banging on her door.

"What the hell?" she muttered, half asleep.

"Brooke, open the door!" the male voice called from the other side of it.

There was more banging. And it was getting louder and really starting to tick her off. Throwing the covers off, for the third time that night she turned the light on, royally pissed at whoever was banging incessantly at her door.

"Someone is about to die," she mumbled, coming to.

"Come on, Brooke! Open the door. It's freezing out here!"

She _so_ recognized that voice.

"Lucas Scott?" she called out, her voice still horse from sleep. "What the hell do you think you're doing? It's three in the morning, you jackass! I was trying to sleep."

She yanked open the door and Lucas' eyes nearly plunged out of his head.

"Are you crazy?" he asked, surprised at her attire and pulling them both into the life-size room as he shut the door behind them. "What are you doing answering the door in _that_?"

"Excuse me?"

"What if I was a rapist?"

Brooke rolled her eyes.

"Okay, first of all, Lucas, I knew it was you," she got in his face. "And second of all who the hell do you think you are banging on my door so early in the morning?"

She grabbed the robe hanging on the edge of the bed and covered herself up.

"Are you done yet?" he asked.

"Not even close. Just who the hell do you think you are telling me what I can and can't wear?" she further demanded. "What does it matter to you anyhow? You're with Peyton."

It was Lucas' turn to roll his eyes.

"Get something new, Brooke, because the 'You're with Peyton' line is getting a little old."

"Ugh!" she grunted. "What do you want anyways?"

He took a seat on the edge of the bed.

"I wanted to talk to you."

"And that couldn't wait until morning?" she asked irritated. "It's three a.m. Lucas. It's not like I'm not going anywhere."

He looked right at her.

"How am I supposed to know that, Brooke?" he asked. "You disappeared seven years ago and I never saw you again. For all I know, you were headed on a plane back to California."

"I'm not going to apologize for leaving, Lucas," she said pulling her robe more tightly around her.

"And I'm not asking you to."

"Then what are you asking?" she asked softly, desperately wanting sleep.

He took a deep breath.

"I…I'm just asking that you hear me out and maybe cut me some slack. Do you think you could do that?" he asked.

"You've got five minutes Lucas and then I'm going to bed."

Brooke reluctantly took a seat next to him on the bed.

Lucas smiled shyly.

"Thanks."

She nodded already feeling somewhat uncomfortable at his closeness and the direction she knew the conversation would soon head in.

"I want you to know that I haven't been with Peyton like that since the summer of junior year," he started, gently turning her face to his. "I love Peyton, Brooke, but that doesn't mean I'm in love with her. I know this hurts you but she is the mother of my child and we'll always been connected through Brooklyn."

He could literally feel her shut down at the mention of Peyton being the mother of his child. She didn't physically pull away but emotionally, she immediately put up a wall.

"Please don't do that," he whispered, desperately trying to stop her. "Don't shut me out."

Brooke shook her head. This wasn't exactly what she had in mind when he asked to talk to her.

"I'm not trying too," she whispered. "But how would you feel if I said something like that to you about…Nathan? Or if I had a child with Nathan?"

He thought for moment and then admitted, "It'd feel like I got punched in the stomach."

"Now you know how I've felt everyday since I found out."

Lucas gently laid his hand on her thigh, missing the feel of her. "Brooke I'm…"

"Sorry," she finished for him, somehow expecting more than just an apology but realizing there was nothing else he could say. "I know you are but…"

"It isn't enough, is it?" he asked.

She wanted more than anything to say it was, that they could start over but it wasn't and they couldn't. Because she knew even if they did Peyton would eventually come between them and if by a miracle he convinced her otherwise, there would still be a part of her that she kept to herself, a part that no one none could know about …especially Lucas. All she had to offer was friendship.

"I wish I had the words to convince you that what happened eight years ago had nothing to do with the way I felt, feel, about you," he said. "That the way I feel and felt about Peyton is completely different from how I feel about you."

"Lucas, I…"

"I love you, Brooke," he declared. "I know that's probably the last thing you want to hear but I can't help it. You…you're the one for me. I loved you eight years ago and I still love you now."

She wiped her eyes and stood up, taken aback at his surprising and candid confession.

"No. Don't…don't you do that. Please. You can't say that to me, Lucas…"

He stood up as well.

"Why not?" he asked. "It's the truth. Look, I know we have problems but they can be fixed."

"Lucas, we aren't a couple and Brooklyn isn't a problem you can fix."

"What are you saying?" he asked quietly, his eyes giving away to his rising emotions.

"I don't know…I just," she paused not really believing the words coming out her mouth. "Brooklyn is a really great kid but…but it hurts, talking to her, being around her… everytime I see her, I'm reminded of what you and Peyton did."

"Brooke, she's my daughter," he spoke gently.

"Do you think I don't know that?" she raised her voice. "That's the whole point, Lucas. She isn't our daughter, she's yours and Peyton's."

"But she could be ours as well," he said, desperate.

"Lucas, stop it. That doesn't make any sense. You know that could never work out."

"Why not? Brooke, we could make it work, you and me. If we love each other enough."

"Lucas…"

"Be with me, be apart of my life, and I promise you I will never give you a reason to doubt me, to doubt us again."

The moment was surreal. She wanted to give in, to give him another chance but she couldn't. Her heart couldn't take another heartbreak. _Especially now_.

"Luke…" she stopped, trying to think of the right words. "So much has changed. There are things about me…about my life that you don't know. Things I couldn't possibly tell you."

"What things?" he asked.

"Private things…" her voice trailed off. "I'm sorry but I just don't see how it could possibly work...now or ever even."

Lucas was never one to except defeat easily. She was too close and she was too beautiful and his heart had waited for her, for that moment, for their second chance for far too long. He just couldn't walk away and give up.

"I don't care…I mean I _care_ but not enough to let it keep us apart," he continued, pulling her towards him, relishing in the fact that just like he knew she would, she fit perfectly into his arms. "I'm going to kiss you."

His voice was delicate, as he feared that she'd run away. Brooke knew in her heart she should pull away, put distance between them but heaven help her, as the old feelings came rushing back. Not the feelings of anger, jealousy and betrayal but the original feelings back when they were Broody and Cheery and the whole world was at their feet. After so many years and so much pain, now she just wanted him to kiss her.

"I know," she whispered, trembling uncontrollably as she craved it.

Judging by the urgency in his lips as they attacked hers, he did too. It had been way too long since she felt his lips on hers. His tongue begged for entrance and Brooke never being able to deny for him for long, gave in and met him thrust, for thrust. It was a gentle kiss, turned passionate. Neither seemed to be able to get enough.

Brooke broke the lip lock first, desperate for a breath of air.

"Wow…" she muttered.

Her hand sought out her swollen and still tingling lips while her eyes never left his. It was wrong but she didn't care. She couldn't help it. And she couldn't deny it any longer. She wanted him.

"Brooke…" he began.

"Ssshhh..." she whispered, placing a finger to his mouth. "You'll ruin the moment."

Forgetting all about just being friends she reached for his hand and took a seat on the edge of the bed. He stood still between her legs, knowing that he would eventually have to stop her. Her small, seemingly unsure hands untied her robe and grabbed the bottom of her nightie, intending to take if off but Lucas reached outward.

"It's too soon…" he reached out for her hands. "Brooke, I didn't come here for this. We don't have to."

Her eyes found his and pain flashed behind hers and then recognition at what they were just about to do.

"Oh my God…" she said as she slowly floated back to reality.

She untangled herself and reached for her robe, embarrassed beyond belief. How could she have let this happen? What he must have thought of her…

"Um, I, I don't normally…" she tried to explain.

"I know," he replied.

She smiled and nervously tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Maybe it's just best if you go," she looked towards the door.

Lucas nodded and took a step towards her. That's not how he wanted to end things for the evening but he knew she was right.

"Think about what I said, Brooke, because I meant every word of it," he lightly touched her arm. "You and I were meant to be and one of these days you're going to realize it."

And then he was gone.

------------------------------------

Surprisingly Brooke didn't have any trouble getting to sleep after her chat with Lucas. And even _she_ was willing to admit she hadn't slept so well in months. The only thing she couldn't quite explain was the kiss and her invitation to sex. If Lucas hadn't stopped her they would have had sex, making their current situation ten times worst. She didn't know what had come over her. One minute nothing made sense and the next she was in his arms and everything made sense. Not to mention kissing him was like breathing…she couldn't help but do it.

Now she didn't know how to act around him. Should she wait for him to come to her or should she go to him? Should she mention the kiss or pretend it never happened? Were they friends now or was he still stuck on being more? Did a part of her want to go on ignoring him just as she had for the years since school? If she were at home, Brooke would have already called Heather and the two would be sitting in front of the television, pitting to pieces just want the kiss meant. Today the telephone would have to do.

It took Heather all of one ring to pick up.

"Brooke, hon, what's up?"

"I kissed him," she blurted out.

"Took you long enough," Heather laughed.

"Oh God, Heather this is so bad. I am supposed to be mad at him not making out with him. And to make matters worst I totally threw myself at him."

Brooke nervously rambled on and on.

"What? Wait a minute! You guys had sex?"

"No. No, of course not, we just made out…well kissed really."

"Wait, what? I thought you said you threw yourself at him?" she asked confused.

"Quit reminding me, _Heather_. And anyways sleeping with him would have been a major mistake so I'm glad he stopped me."

"He stopped you?" she chuckled. "Brooke Davis actually got turned down! Never thought I would see the day."

"Oh shut up!" Brooke dramatically threw herself on the bed. "It was seriously the most embarrassing moment in my life. Here I was just about to take off my shirt and he stops me and says, _it's too soon I didn't come here for this_," she mocked.

"Awww, that's kind of sweet."

"It is not," she complained. "I've never felt more like a slut in my life."

"Is that so?" she asked. "Well, I seem to remember you saying the same thing in college after a massive frat party."

"You swore you'd never mention that night again!"

Heather laughed.

"All I'm saying Brooke, is surely _that_ night was much worst then last night."

"Well…maybe," she admitted. "But it was still embarrassing."

"I'm sure Lucas didn't mind all that much," Heather teased. "He probably wanted you as much as much as you wanted him."

"How would you know? You've never met him," she reminded her. "And anyway I never said I wanted Lucas."

"Brooke, its me you're talking to. You don't have to say it, I just know. We both know you wouldn't be there if it wasn't for him."

Brooke started to interrupt but Heather beat her to it.

"You can deny it all you want but he's the only reason you're there."

"Maybe he's the main reason I'm back but there are other things as well."

"Okay," she purposely took the bait. "Like what?"

"Come on. Heather, you know things are different now. I just needed to see before…" her voice trailed off.

"Don't talk like that," she said.

"Why? Its the truth."

"But Brooke it doesn't have to be this way. You know you have options."

"None of which I'm willing to consider," she said. "Haven't we been through this before?"

"Brooke please...I'm trying here."

"Please...just drop it, okay?"

Heather signed. "For now."

"Good. Now are you going to help me figure out what to do about Lucas or am I going to have to figure it out on my own?"

"You know I'll help you…" she slumped in her kitchen chair, fretting that Brooke could be so dense at times. "What do you want?"

She shrugged not sure herself.

"I don't know but I don't think it's wise to be anything more than friends."

"Well you might not want to kiss him then," she joked.

"Ha, ha, ha Heather but seriously I'm not really ready to go down that road again. Plus there's Brooklyn to consider, not to mention a certain ex-best friend."

"Have you met her yet? Brooklyn, I mean?"

"Once," Brooke confessed. "She's a beautiful little girl, very sweet too."

"What about her mom?"

"What about her?" Brooke asked. "I saw her too and it was hard but I got through it just like I've gotten though everything else in my life."

"Maybe you should talk to her."

"Heather…"

"Just hear me out. I mean, you've talked to Lucas and I guess kind of agreed to be friends."

"You don't even know the half of it," she muttered under her breath, remembering his declaration of love. "I don't know if that's a good idea. There are still so many raw emotions between us."

"Well it takes two to tango. I'm just saying if you can forgive one it shouldn't be any problem to forgive the other."

"I haven't forgiven Lucas…_yet_," she coyly added.

"Well, don't you think maybe it's time? It's been seven years."

It was a touchy subject but if Brooke was willing to be friends then she supposed she was on the right track.

"I'm working on it…"

"Good girl," Heather nodded. "Listen, hon, I have to get to work but we'll talk again soon. Love you!"

"You too."

Heather was right. Brooke knew she would eventually have to have it out with Peyton but until then she was just fine with pretending the curly blonde didn't exist.

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tbc...


	39. Enough, For Real This Time

**Chapter 39**

**Enough, For Real This Time**

Being friends with Brooke wasn't what Lucas had in mind but confessing his love for her wasn't something he'd planned on doing either but the truth always had a way of coming out. Nevertheless, if friendship was all she was willing to offer then he would take it after all it was much more than he deserved.

It wouldn't take him long to convince her otherwise considering she was willing to sleep with him last night. She wouldn't have let it go as far as it did if on some levels she didn't still care, that's not who she was anymore. He couldn't help but take comfort in knowing that.

He wasn't sure how he was going to persuade her to give them another try or if in the end it would even work but before Brooke left for California she would know, without a doubt just how much she meant to him. The rest was up to her but this time he wasn't letting her go without a fight.

And the first thing that came to mind was finding a house for him and Brooklyn. Staying with Peyton couldn't last forever, nor did he want it too. Peyton and him shared a child but that's as far as their relationship went and would ever go. They had been down that road one too many times and it never worked out in the end, for them or those they cared most about.

"I think I'm gonna start house haunting today," he announced at the kitchen table. "Would you like to go with me?" He turned and looks to Brooklyn. "I was thinking about a big house on the beach. You could go swimming in the ocean anytime you wanted, how does that sound?"

"But Daddy…I thought you were gonna stay here? I don't want you to leave, you just got here," she whined.

"Before long you and your Mommy will be begging me to leave," he joked.

"Will not," she pouted. "I don't want you to leave…ever."

Lucas looked to Peyton but she continued to eat her cereal as if she hadn't heard his announcement or their daughter's apparent disappointment. "Brooklyn we talked about this, me staying here is only temporary. You know that," he said gently.

"But I don't want you to leave and neither does Mommy," she looked towards her mother. "Right Mommy?"

Peyton looked towards Lucas. She had a feeling the only reason he was looking so soon was because of a certain brunette. Not that she cared but this wasn't the first time Brooklyn had gotten upset at the thought of her father leaving.

"Sweetie," she laid a hand on top of her daughters and gave it a squeeze. "Daddy needs a house of his own, a place to make a home for you and him," she tried to explain.

"Why can't he do that here?" she asked near tears. "Daddy you said you'd think about staying here with Mommy and me."

"Brooklyn, honey—" he tried again.

"No! I want us to be a real family like Uncle Nathan and Aunt Haley," she sobbed, the tears very much evident in her eyes. "You promised…"

"Sweetie," Peyton tired again, very interested in just what he had promised their daughter. "Daddy and I aren't married like your uncle and aunt is. We love one another but we aren't in love with each other."

"So what!" she cried. "You guys can get married and then Daddy would never leave us again."

Peyton looked towards Lucas, who was clearly upset by their daughter's emotional outburst, "Brooklyn, Daddy has never lived with us…now what's really going on?"

She looked towards her father and then back at her mother, "I just don't want Daddy to leave," she cried.

"Baby I'm not leaving. I may not be living in the same house as you but I'll always be here for you and your mother. I love you Brooklyn, a house isn't gonna change that." He reached for her, hoping to calm and ease her fears but she pushed him away.

"Please stay Daddy," she begged once more. "I'll be a good girl I promise…please don't leave me."

Only then did she allow her father's arms to elope her.

Lucas cradled her like he hadn't done since she was a baby, "Sssh honey," he muttered into her tousle hair. His troubled eyes sought out Peyton's across the table, he hoped she'd understand what he was about to do. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispered.

_How could he?_

--

Oh how she missed her boy when he was away.

Lucas hadn't been to see her in years. He was always too busy with basketball to make the trip home or so he said. She been out to see him a time or two but it wasn't the same.

And when he called last month to tell her he had retired and was moving back she couldn't have been happier.

Being his mother she naturally wanted him to stay with her but he made other arrangements. Saying it wasn't right for a grown man to be staying with his newly married mother. Through, neither Keith nor herself would mind the company.

It worried her that he was staying with Peyton.

She loved her Peyton like a daughter but just wasn't convinced she was the right match for her only son. They both denied anything was going on but she wasn't convinced.

The two always had such high emotions when it came to their relationship. And now that Brooklyn was in the picture it made everything that much more complicated.

Now this I could get used to," Karen commented watching her son walk through the café doors.

Lucas smiled, though it never reached his eyes. "What's that?" He grabbed a seat on the counter.

"Seeing you every day," she said happily. "It's nice to have you around. So how did the meeting with the realtor go?"

He sighed. "It didn't. I think I'm gonna stay with Peyton and Brooklyn for a while. Just until Brooklyn can deal with me not being there."

"Oh Lucas what happened? I thought you living there was only temporarily."

"It was…I mean it is." He laid his head in his hands. "I was supposed to go house hurter today but this morning Brooklyn threw a fit when I mentioned it. Mom she's really upset about me leaving the house. She wants Peyton and me to get married. She's got in her head that if we were married it would somehow make us a real family. I did my best to explain that no matter where I live we'll always be family but nothing I said sunk in." He looked to his Mother for advice, "What am I gonna do Mom?" he asked.

Karen reached for his hands and gave them a squeeze, "You're gonna show her every chance you get that you love her, that she has nothing to worry when it comes to being a family. But Lucas you be careful with Peyton," she warned.

He started to object.

"I love Peyton you know that but when it comes to the two of you two being _together_ it never ends…" she searched for the right word. "…pretty. Just be careful I don't want anyone getting hurt. "

"You have nothing to worry about when it comes to that. We're just friends, who happen to share a daughter…"

"A daughter who wants her parents married and sharing a home," Karen finished and sighed in a way, only a Mother who knew her son was making a mistake could.

"Lucas I'm serious. If you and Peyton give Brooklyn any reason to think you two will be married you're gonna end up hurting her far worse then if you just moved out now."

"I'm not…we're not, you didn't see her this morning Mom, she broke my heart. I just couldn't leave. I did what I thought was best for my daughter."

"And I'm doing what I think is best for my son…I just don't want you hurt, Lucas."

"I'm gonna do my best to make sure no one gets hurt, myself included," he assured her. "Have you spoken to Rachel lately? Or Haley for that matter?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Rachel has had the last two days off, why?" she asked curious.

"What about Haley? Have you talked to her?"

"Briefly. She was busy with Landon, why?" she asked again.

"Brooke's back," he announced, calmly. "She got in a few days ago," as if her return was just another thing.

Karen gasped, "Brooke? As in Brooke Davis?"

Lucas nodded.

She reached across the counter and smacked him upside the head.

"Ouch," he muttered, to which Karen rolled her eyes.

"She's been back for two days and you're just now telling me! Have you talked to her? How is she? Does she look any different? How long is she staying? Tell me already," she demanded excited to hear news about the home comer.

"She's okay…I think."

"You think?" Karen arched her eyebrows.

"We didn't exactly spend much time catching up—"

"So then you've talked to her?"

"A couple of times…nothing to serious," he lied.

"Hmm," she muttered.

"Yeah it was pretty awkward but…but at least it's over with," he shrugged, still playing the "it's no big deal' card. " And I'm not sure but I think we're friends now."

"The two of you friends?" she asked, skeptical.

"What? It's not like it's unheard of. We've been friends before."

"Yes, well I for one remember how that turned out." Him pinning after Brooke and her, him. Though she suspected neither would admit it now. "Please be careful Lucas for everyone's sake…especially Brooke I'm not sure she could take another heartache."

He nodded, ashamed that his mother felt the need to protect her from him.

"I love her." Hoping to relay just want he felt for Brooke to his mother but knowing whatever he said would fall short. Karen firmly believe in the old saying, 'actions speak louder than words.' And up until now his actions hadn't exactly been love like.

She softened, knowing without a doubt just who he son belonged with yet unsure whether or not it would work out or even if the burnette in question would let her son in again. "I know you do."

She prayed with everything in her that his love would be enough.

--

She could do this. It was Brooke, her once best friend, the closest thing to a sister she ever had.

"_Then why did you sleep with Lucas"_, a voice in her head whispered.

Peyton ignored it.

"_Sisters don't sleep with each other boyfriends,"_ the voice taunted again.

"He wasn't her boyfriend," she muttered.

"_So that makes it okay,"_ the voice whispered back.

Ok maybe she couldn't do this. Maybe it was too soon, Brooke probably wouldn't even talk to her.

Only problem was Brooke had already caught sight of her though the window, and was patiently waiting for the blonde to knock.

She wasn't all that all surprised to see her, she'd been expected Peyton for hours now. They may no longer be friends but that didn't mean Brooke didn't know the other girl inside out.

Peyton would want to start over, clean slake she would call it. Of course at that point _she _would say it was too late for that, too much had happened to simply just start over. There would then be some begging, possibly even crying to which Brooke would pretend it didn't bother her.

But it would.

It always has.

"What are you doing here Peyton," Brooke asked, opening the door.

"Brooke…hi," she said already losing her nerve. "Um, maybe…this wasn't a good idea." She turned to leave but the brunette's voice called her back.

"I imagine you're here to have it out with me?"

She smiled nervously. "I figured now was as good as time as any."

"I suppose you're right." She usher her inside the hotel room.

"I'm not really even sure where to begin other than I want to be completely honest with you," she said taking a seat on the edge of the bed.

Brooke nodded. She took a seat next to her.

Peyton turned and faced her old friend. "The night you left Brooke I wasn't thinking right. I was so upset about Jake leaving and then you that I barely knew what I was doing. I knew you liked Lucas, possibly even loved him but when he found me at the beach all I could think about was stopping the pain. I didn't think about you or Jake…or even Lucas. All I could think—feel was my heart breaking in two and I had to stop it. I'm not proud of what I did and if it wasn't for Brooklyn I probably would regret sleeping with Lucas…"

She took a breathe. "But something I did regret…that I still regret is losing you. I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am. I never wanted to lose you as my best friend and Lucas, Brooke…he never stopped loving you and I know I don't know you anymore but I saw the way you looked at him yesterday…" her voice trailed off afraid that she said too much.

"There was no possibly about it," she whispered, too soft for Peyton to hear.

"What?" she asked.

"I said there was no possibly about it Peyton. I loved him. But I was scared to have my heart broken again so I left. That's my own burden to carry I guess…not that I feel you two left me any choice. "

She closed her eyes at the rush of guilt. "Brooke…I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything Peyton; I just wish you could see it from my point of view. Do you have any idea how seeing your family, knowing it should be mine, makes me feel?"

"Brooke you're acting as if it happened yesterday, it was seven years ago," she said weakly, regretting the words left her month.

"The betrayal…the pain it's all still there. I thought I was over it, I really did but ever since I step foot in Tree Hill I haven't been able to think of anything else. So maybe for you it happened seven years ago but for me it _did _happen yesterday."

"We didn't mean to hurt you," she tried once more.

"You know I seem to remember a conversation like this the _first_ time you cheating with Lucas behind my back," she said taking the cheap shot.

Peyton hung her head.

"I know I deserved that but I'm sorry Brooke why can't that be enough?"

She smirked, "God that is so like you," she cried in ignorance. "Expecting everyone to accept your apology as if your actions have no consequences that a simple sorry can't fix. Well I hate to break it to you Peyton but sorry isn't gonna give me back the last seven years of my life. So if sorry is all you have to say then you know where the door is."

"Brooke please…" she pleaded, her voice breaking with emotion.

"I think it's time you left Peyton." She walked to the door. "We're done here."

"So you can be friends with Lucas but you can't finish a conversation with me?" she asked upset.

"He told you?" she muttered surprised and a little hurt that once again Peyton was brought into something that was none of her business.

"Don't be upset at him, Brooke," she said. "He's just as confused and hurt as you are…as all of us are," she added.

"What do any of you have to be upset about? You both have great careers, friends…a family."

She _still _didn't get it.

"We lost you…didn't we?"

She walked to the open door but stopped just inches away from Brooke, "One more thing—I know Brooklyn may not be yours but she _was _named after you and if…if you let us, we could be your family too."

She laid a piece of paper on the side table, "My cell if you change your mind."

Brooke closed the door behind her and gathered the paper in her hand. As much as she wanted to she couldn't throw it away, instead she stored the number in her phone and laid the paper back on the table.

Whether or not she would use it she hadn't yet decided but her gut told her she would. The pain was still there but maybe it was time to let it all go. Maybe Lucas and Peyton had suffered enough…maybe she had suffered enough.


End file.
